"Bob and Sue": Long, long catch-up

A few things I want to share today:

We have a new member of the family! Let me introduce you to Nova:

Robert and Nova

Nova is a 2-year-old mixed breed pup who joined our family after some time at the Hoopeston Animal Rescue Team (HART). We had been looking at dogs for some time on PetFinder and discovered a shelter about an hour away with several dogs that fit our requirements: 35lbs or less, 1-5 years old, quiet, a good companion, and low shedding.

HART is no ordinary animal shelter. The application was several pages long and asked detailed questions about what our family would do when/if the dog got sick or had significant behavior problems or grew larger than we had anticipated or needed more care than we could give it. They wanted to know the names and ages of everyone in the household, how big our yard was, what type of fencing we used, and who would be responsible for feeding and walking the dog. They also did criminal background checks on the adults and called both of our references to verify all of this information. HART will only let you meet their animals if you appear to be a good fit for one or more of them. And they very rarely allow first-time dog owners to adopt their pups.

It was kinda nuts.

But, I'm glad they were so careful. They really, really know their dogs well.

The volunteer/owner had us wait in a large play room with chairs, dog toys, and dog treats. We talked a little more about what we were looking for in a dog. Once she saw our family and reviewed our answers, she dismissed some of our top picks right away. She said there was one dog, a relatively new arrival who wasn't yet on their website, that might be a good fit if we were willing to go a little higher than 35 pounds. We said we could certainly meet the dog, at least, and see how it went.

When the owner brought Nova in on a leash, Nova was clearly shy and timid, but she carefully walked right up to James in his chair and gently climbed up to sniff his face. She let him pet her for a while, then she moved on to each one of us in turn sniffing our faces and letting us give her affection. Nova was nervous, but curious and trusting enough to give us a chance. The owner took Nova back and brought out 3 more dogs one at a time. Each one had his/her own quirks and personalities. Jackie Blue was snorty and goofy, Waldo was too terrified to even look at us, and Luna was a weasel-shaped rocket literally bouncing off the walls and leaping over our laps to get to the toys.

The more dogs we saw, the better we felt about Nova being the one for us.

Nova loves all things food.

Nova is catching on quickly and learning the routine.

She's tolerant of our affection in all forms.

As you can tell from her tail tucked between her legs in this photo, some family members still make her nervous. She's getting more and more comfortable with them every day, though. Baby steps.

Nova will need time to feel at home with us, and we will need time to feel at home with her. I'm more stressed than I had anticipated. Matthew is very much stressed. We don't know what she likes or if she's comfortable or what's going to happen next. We're slowly building a routine together. With all the excitement and fun, there are also feelings of jealousy and longing and disappointment. The reality of having a dog sometimes clashes with the dream of having a dog.

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In other news, Matthew turned 10! The kids-at-home phase of our family's life together is solidly in its middle-age now...10 or so years left?

Alex gave Matthew a foxy Lego set. James gave Matthew the enormous gift taking up most of the table. It was a collection of all his Nerf guns, Nerf bullets, and a couple other large toys/gifts he thought Matthew would enjoy. More on this later.

As a 10-year-old, Matthew is gaining confidence and flexibility. The anti-anxiety meds he started this year have opened up a whole new world for him. He's suddenly adventurous, funny, playful, and resilient in new ways. The kid still gets stressed and can experience a full-on panic attack periodically, but logic and comfort and distraction all work now to help him through it.

Matthew has joined the archery team at school. They will start practices after Christmas. His favorite subjects at school are PE and art. We are currently reading The Land of Stories (Book 3) together and it's fun to see him and James laughing at the funny characters and eagerly predicting plot twists.

The most common phrase to come out of Matthew's mouth is, "I've ALWAYS wanted to..." followed by a long, detailed explanation of how he would do that thing. Most often it's a superpower, sometimes it's a project he wants to take on, and every once in a while it's a sneaky little joke he just can't bring himself to do in real life.

Matthew and James have been playing Stick Fight: The Game together recently. They get really loud with all the fun they're having. Crazy loud.

The Children's Primary Program at church was a few weeks ago. The Primary kids were given a choice about how they would prefer to participate. Matthew opted out of a speaking part and any small group singing opportunities. With my other kids, I would have pushed the issue more. I remember an especially difficult Primary Program when I was forcing Robert to give a talk. He did it, but at what a cost! I didn't push Matthew this time, knowing too well how that would explode in my face.

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James is growing up and changing a little at a time. Around his birthday, he realized that birthdays aren't fun like they used to be. All the presents and special treats used to be so amazing! Now, he tells me, presents are just things he puts away in his room and treats make him sick because he eats too many of them. He wants to make birthdays special again. Or, he said, he'd be willing to trade a year of family presents and treats for one big gift of an electric scooter.

He's playing fewer imaginary games with Matthew and joining in on the adult conversations more. His later bedtime gives him more alone time with Alex and me. He and Alex have a lot of fun together these days, sharing several interests and building on each others' ideas.

Just this week, while he was converting his pile of a room into something more dog-friendly, James ended up taking down all of the preschool and elementary school drawings, art projects, and posters from his wall. Everything. He put them all in a garbage bag and threw them out with a shrug saying he just didn't want/like them anymore and he wanted to decorate his walls with something else. Last night, he started doing the same with the shelves and shelves of stuff in his closet. He's envisioned a new room for himself and even drawn a few diagrams. He's sourced new furniture and created a budget.

He's been ready for his own room for a while. He'll be more than ready for it when Alex moves out.

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We have a sister missionary in our ward who comes from Tonga. Alex wanted to make her something special "from home", so he looked up Tongan recipes. There were a bunch of seafood recipes and a single dessert called Faikakai Malimali. Of course Alex made the dessert and WOW! I love it. Soooo tasty. The missionary was shocked and impressed that Alex got it right. It's delicious!

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Bobby is still experiencing fatigue and other symptoms that haven't quite been diagnosed yet. We know a lot about what it's not. It's not a serious heart condition. It's not an infection of any sort. As long as he gets a good night's sleep, he can function pretty normally.

Bobby's smart watch has a heart rate monitor that regularly measures his stress level. It's measuring a ton of stress, even when he's lying down watching TV. He's got a couple more specialist appointments in the next few weeks.

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One of my coworkers from the bike shop has asked me to go mountain biking a few times. I like it! We ride at Kickapoo State Recreation Area. The trails are diverse enough that I'll be struggling to get better for many years to come :)

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A few recent pictures: