Well so I thought I finally had an OK Sunday. It was the primary program and it went really well. I got home at a decent hour and I was not very stressed. Then all of a sudden I was in excruciating pain. Long story short I got my first, and hopefully last kidney stone. 24 hours of labor later I can say that the pain is very similar to appendicitis. The big difference is that for appendicitis they gave me morphine and cut me open, for the kidney stone they gave me hydrocodone and sent me home. I am really curious what next Sunday is going to bring.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Bobby's Sunday Summary
I know it has been a while since I last wrote anything. Life has been a bit busy. Over the past two weeks every night except for one we have had something in the evening, so that either Susan or me was away. It has felt really crazy. Other then that things are starting to feel OK, at least with the calling. On the home front one of the biggest things is that Robert is starting to read. He can sound out many different words. He cannot do a ton yet, but is doing well, and he like to try and trick me with memorized books.
Alice also did a happy dance to honor his accomplishment.
Children's Sacrament Program
Today was the children's time to shine at church. Kids aged 3-12 provided nearly all of the music and spoken word during our church services. I especially admired the kids' reverence on the stand and their knowledge of the songs. Some of the older kids even managed to sing a bit of a descant/harmony on a couple of the songs, which is quite impressive.
Alice knew every word to every song and spoke her part boldly and clearly. No surprise :) She was proud of her work and I was so happy for her.
Robert sang more of the songs than I thought he knew. He also spent a good portion of the time picking his nose and wiggling in his seat, but hey, he's only four. When it came time for him to speak his part into the microphone, Alice hopped out of her seat and stood next to him for moral support. Robert's teacher whispered to him what he was supposed to say. Robert just scanned the crowd, back and forth, back and forth, with his mouth open a little. He didn't make a sound. He didn't shrink and run, though, which made me happy. He made eye contact with me. Then he sat down. He hasn't been one for public speaking in any arena, so this outcome wasn't a complete surprise, either.
There are things I love about Robert simply because they're nothing like Alice. He's his own man. As much as I would love for him to be comfortable speaking in front of audiences, there's something inside me that says, "You go, man!" when he chooses to stand there calmly and say nothing. It's the love of a mother, I suppose.
James and I got to sit in the audience with Bobby. I can't remember the last time he sat in the pews with us. James sat on Bobby's lap eating cereal, then leaned back every once in a while to lay across both of our laps and grin. I wondered about how life would be different if he were our only child, or if he had come first.
I love each of my kids so freely, no matter who they are. It's like nothing I've felt before.
Alice knew every word to every song and spoke her part boldly and clearly. No surprise :) She was proud of her work and I was so happy for her.
Robert sang more of the songs than I thought he knew. He also spent a good portion of the time picking his nose and wiggling in his seat, but hey, he's only four. When it came time for him to speak his part into the microphone, Alice hopped out of her seat and stood next to him for moral support. Robert's teacher whispered to him what he was supposed to say. Robert just scanned the crowd, back and forth, back and forth, with his mouth open a little. He didn't make a sound. He didn't shrink and run, though, which made me happy. He made eye contact with me. Then he sat down. He hasn't been one for public speaking in any arena, so this outcome wasn't a complete surprise, either.
There are things I love about Robert simply because they're nothing like Alice. He's his own man. As much as I would love for him to be comfortable speaking in front of audiences, there's something inside me that says, "You go, man!" when he chooses to stand there calmly and say nothing. It's the love of a mother, I suppose.
James and I got to sit in the audience with Bobby. I can't remember the last time he sat in the pews with us. James sat on Bobby's lap eating cereal, then leaned back every once in a while to lay across both of our laps and grin. I wondered about how life would be different if he were our only child, or if he had come first.
I love each of my kids so freely, no matter who they are. It's like nothing I've felt before.
Friday, September 26, 2014
Sparkles
Bobby often wrestles with the kids in the evening. Even James gets in on the action. Last night, Bobby picked him up by the waist, flipped him over, and held him so James' head rested just above Bobby's left shoulder. James loved it! Bobby held him there for a minute, then flipped him back over to land on the ground on his feet. James suddenly got this glazed look on his face and said, "Park-oh. Park-oh!"
"What? Sparkles? You're seeing sparkles?"
"Yah."
Oops. Hope there wasn't any permanent damage done.
"What? Sparkles? You're seeing sparkles?"
"Yah."
Oops. Hope there wasn't any permanent damage done.
Making Friends Over 30
Waiting for the mailman...
...he's got a letter for me. It should be coming soon. It's coming from Kansas. From a lady with a very midwestern accent who thought "digital image" was a word I made up. If I'm lucky, she'll be mailing me two death certificates. If I'm really, really, lucky, then the people who filled out those death certificates in 1929 and 1940 were well-versed in the decedents' life history and happy to fill in every single blank on the form 100% accurately. And if my wildest dreams come true, there will be a family picture and a lengthy, fact-filled obituary attached to each one!
I'm also waiting for a microfilm from the Family History Library in Salt Lake City. It's less certain what I will find on the film, but maybe, just maybe, I can sort out part of another ancestor's marriage and divorce history. "Ida" was a very common name in Kansas in the 1880s. Right now, a few different people seem to think she married and divorced a series of men in quick succession, finally having children with the 3rd or 4th spouse and then losing those children to social services. I can only confirm that she lived with her parents in Kansas until she was 20, then died 60 years later in Los Angeles County, California, married to a man with the last name of "Panick." Forty years is quite a gap.
And I'm waiting to hear news on my friend. She's delivering the first baby in Peek-A-Boo's birth cohort (there are 5 women in my church congregation expecting babies from October to February. Peek-A-Boo is right in the middle). Last night, as I was falling asleep with abdominal cramping, an achy pelvis, and heartburn, I imagined Peek-A-Boo all swaddled in a hospital bassinet next to my hospital bed. It seemed like a blissful release. I allowed myself to linger on it for just a moment.
I feel ready and unready for Peek-A-Boo's arrival in 6-7 weeks. I feel like I know what I'm getting in to (ready!), but I'm experienced enough to know that I'm getting into chaos (unready!). So, I prepare what I can, knowing that I don't know what exactly to prepare for. And my dear, dear James is the biggest wild card of all. I'm still figuring him out and he's still changing/growing/experimenting as we go...
This week, he's had a few run-ins with playmates. They race to a desired toy, tussle over it, and declare a victor. James' feelings get hurt SO easily that the playmate need only push or hit or grab James' shirt a little roughly to send him bawling to the floor. Several times, he has cried longer over an injustice than actual physical harm, even when he dealt out a few injustices himself in the tussle.
James trusts me when I say "I'll be right back" or "If this, then that." He can be very, very patient at times. On the other hand, a raised voice or rough command from a sibling sends him into "desperate panic" mode and he'll fight tooth and nail for the slightest advantage. I've been working with Buddy on this. Buddy always anticipates negative action from James, so he yells at James to stand back or get off or go away before James has even had time to assess the play situation. This triggers some sort of fight reflex in James who instantly attacks Robert or whatever he's playing with. Ugh. When I manage to intervene early enough, reminding Robert that a kinder voice seems to get better results with James, Robert softens his approach and James will do anything Robert asks him to do. Anything. Like a light switch turned on. This has happened only a few times so far, but Buddy initiated it himself the last time and came to tell me how much better it worked than a grumpy voice. Whew.
So, whatever happens once Peek-A-Boo arrives, let's all use kind voices :)
I'm also waiting for a microfilm from the Family History Library in Salt Lake City. It's less certain what I will find on the film, but maybe, just maybe, I can sort out part of another ancestor's marriage and divorce history. "Ida" was a very common name in Kansas in the 1880s. Right now, a few different people seem to think she married and divorced a series of men in quick succession, finally having children with the 3rd or 4th spouse and then losing those children to social services. I can only confirm that she lived with her parents in Kansas until she was 20, then died 60 years later in Los Angeles County, California, married to a man with the last name of "Panick." Forty years is quite a gap.
And I'm waiting to hear news on my friend. She's delivering the first baby in Peek-A-Boo's birth cohort (there are 5 women in my church congregation expecting babies from October to February. Peek-A-Boo is right in the middle). Last night, as I was falling asleep with abdominal cramping, an achy pelvis, and heartburn, I imagined Peek-A-Boo all swaddled in a hospital bassinet next to my hospital bed. It seemed like a blissful release. I allowed myself to linger on it for just a moment.
I feel ready and unready for Peek-A-Boo's arrival in 6-7 weeks. I feel like I know what I'm getting in to (ready!), but I'm experienced enough to know that I'm getting into chaos (unready!). So, I prepare what I can, knowing that I don't know what exactly to prepare for. And my dear, dear James is the biggest wild card of all. I'm still figuring him out and he's still changing/growing/experimenting as we go...
This week, he's had a few run-ins with playmates. They race to a desired toy, tussle over it, and declare a victor. James' feelings get hurt SO easily that the playmate need only push or hit or grab James' shirt a little roughly to send him bawling to the floor. Several times, he has cried longer over an injustice than actual physical harm, even when he dealt out a few injustices himself in the tussle.
James trusts me when I say "I'll be right back" or "If this, then that." He can be very, very patient at times. On the other hand, a raised voice or rough command from a sibling sends him into "desperate panic" mode and he'll fight tooth and nail for the slightest advantage. I've been working with Buddy on this. Buddy always anticipates negative action from James, so he yells at James to stand back or get off or go away before James has even had time to assess the play situation. This triggers some sort of fight reflex in James who instantly attacks Robert or whatever he's playing with. Ugh. When I manage to intervene early enough, reminding Robert that a kinder voice seems to get better results with James, Robert softens his approach and James will do anything Robert asks him to do. Anything. Like a light switch turned on. This has happened only a few times so far, but Buddy initiated it himself the last time and came to tell me how much better it worked than a grumpy voice. Whew.
So, whatever happens once Peek-A-Boo arrives, let's all use kind voices :)
Monday, September 22, 2014
Susan's Sunday Summary
Bobby was not nearly as wiped out this week as he was last week, but I couldn't help noticing he failed to post his Sunday Summary.
You should know that this Sunday:
1) The sound system in the chapel still wasn't working, and the backup system was cobbled together minutes before sacrament meeting by three technically-minded guys who hadn't ever done it before. It worked okay. Let's pray this all gets resolved before the Primary Children's Program next Sunday.
2) The High Council speaker didn't realize he would be speaking until Bobby announced it at the pulpit. You should have seen the look on that guy's face! He whispered to one of Bobby's counselors who stood up and whispered in Bobby's ear while he was at the microphone. Bobby then announced that there might be time for a few testimonies at the end of the meeting. The High Council speaker pulled something together that managed to take up the rest of the time just fine. I was sweating for a while there.
3) Bobby had four appointments after church and managed to get them done within an hour and fifteen minutes of church ending.
4) He also made dinner.
Whew! Three weeks as bishop and I still don't think he's found his new "normal."
You should know that this Sunday:
1) The sound system in the chapel still wasn't working, and the backup system was cobbled together minutes before sacrament meeting by three technically-minded guys who hadn't ever done it before. It worked okay. Let's pray this all gets resolved before the Primary Children's Program next Sunday.
2) The High Council speaker didn't realize he would be speaking until Bobby announced it at the pulpit. You should have seen the look on that guy's face! He whispered to one of Bobby's counselors who stood up and whispered in Bobby's ear while he was at the microphone. Bobby then announced that there might be time for a few testimonies at the end of the meeting. The High Council speaker pulled something together that managed to take up the rest of the time just fine. I was sweating for a while there.
3) Bobby had four appointments after church and managed to get them done within an hour and fifteen minutes of church ending.
4) He also made dinner.
Whew! Three weeks as bishop and I still don't think he's found his new "normal."
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
32 Weeks and Counting
I'll keep this one short. I had a prenatal appointment this morning. Peek-A-Boo is still growing and kicking on schedule. I asked the midwife, Amie, if there was any way to speed up this process and she gave me a serious answer instead of a fun one :( She's the newest midwife, so I can see how she wouldn't want to give me the wrong impression :)
Simply because I'm 35, standard prenatal recommendations include 2 more ultrasounds over the next 4 weeks and after that, a WEEKLY non-stress test until the baby is born (a non-stress test is essentially me lying on a table for 30 minutes while they monitor the baby's movement and heart rate). Yikes! That's a heap of appointments! I am perfectly free to decline any or all of these additional tests, and I'm thinking I will because:
1. I have a low risk history when it comes to growing and delivering babies.
2. Peek-a-Boo's growth and heart rate have been right in line with expectations up to this point.
3. Oodles of women for generations have delivered babies in their mid-to-late thirties without incident.
4. The highest risk is associated with women 40+ years old who are carrying their first child.
And who the heck wants to hang out at the OB's office every week for the next 9 weeks?! Arranging childcare for that alone would stress me out.
I told Amie I was leaning towards "no" for the extra tests and she suggested I start taking "kick counts" every day. That's where I lie down and count how many times the baby moves in a certain period of time. Anything over 10 kicks an hour is okay...um...Peek-A-Boo pretty much kicks me 10 times every chance I get to sit down. We're good for now, I guess :)
Simply because I'm 35, standard prenatal recommendations include 2 more ultrasounds over the next 4 weeks and after that, a WEEKLY non-stress test until the baby is born (a non-stress test is essentially me lying on a table for 30 minutes while they monitor the baby's movement and heart rate). Yikes! That's a heap of appointments! I am perfectly free to decline any or all of these additional tests, and I'm thinking I will because:
1. I have a low risk history when it comes to growing and delivering babies.
2. Peek-a-Boo's growth and heart rate have been right in line with expectations up to this point.
3. Oodles of women for generations have delivered babies in their mid-to-late thirties without incident.
4. The highest risk is associated with women 40+ years old who are carrying their first child.
And who the heck wants to hang out at the OB's office every week for the next 9 weeks?! Arranging childcare for that alone would stress me out.
I told Amie I was leaning towards "no" for the extra tests and she suggested I start taking "kick counts" every day. That's where I lie down and count how many times the baby moves in a certain period of time. Anything over 10 kicks an hour is okay...um...Peek-A-Boo pretty much kicks me 10 times every chance I get to sit down. We're good for now, I guess :)
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Highlights from this week (Susan's version of "Bobby's Sunday Summary")
It's 8:00pm, and Bobby is already asleep in bed. It was an interesting first Sunday as bishop: the sound system in the chapel wasn't working, the bread for the sacrament did not arrive until halfway through the meeting, and the first speaker was too ill to come to church today (luckily, her husband volunteered to pinch hit for her last-minute). The new calling hasn't demanded too much extra time yet, but it's certainly weighing on him/me/us as we figure out this new groove. I'm stepping in for the moment to give a brief summary of the week...
The kids are "in bed", but I hear Alice singing "The Star Spangled Banner" over and over and over again. Her music teacher introduced it to them this week as part of the 200th anniversary of the lyrics' writing. She's been kinda obsessed with it ever since.
Alice's school had "Invite a Friend to Lunch" day and she invited our other next door neighbor Diane P. to come along. Robert has high hopes Alice will invite him next time. I wonder if I could send him unaccompanied...hmmmmm.
Alice wanted to sell her own handcrafted coloring pages door-to-door this week, but I convinced her to start with people we know who might have an actual need for coloring pages. She got our backdoor neighbors to commission a 4-page coloring book for their grandson and she earned a dollar for her labors!
Robert and I took some flowers and tomatoes to our neighbor this afternoon. He apologized for stealing tomatoes from her garden and said he wouldn't do it again. I think the most uncomfortable part of this whole thing was confessing his crime to Diane. One of his extra chores was helping me build up the back corner of the fence so it would be less hoppable in the future. As we worked, we chatted about future scenarios and how he might respond differently if something like this ever came up again. He was cheerful and creative about this problem and suggested we move the large chicken crate away from the fence so people wouldn't be tempted to use it as a fence-hopping stool. Done! Thanks for the suggestion, Buddy!
We had a neighborhood picnic/potluck this evening. Robert ate two plates of potato chips, two hamburger buns with shredded cheese, three cucumber spears, a handful of grapes, three cups of soda/lemonade, and a slice of key lime pie. He's in the bathroom with a stomachache right now. He also got a huge mosquito bite on his forehead that swelled up instantly.
At the picnic, James just kept grinning and pointing at his cup, "O-duh, o-duh." Yes, James, that bubbly drink is called "soda." So glad you like it.
James' vocabulary has recently changed, dropping some of the baby words I adored. For example, Robert is no longer just "Apu". Now he is "Waw-doht" and sometimes "Buddy." James calls Bobby "Dad" more often than "Daddy" now. Water isn't always "bah-bah", sometimes it's actually "wah-duh." And he calls birds "boe-dies" more often than "caw-caws" these days. Sigh. At least his "yes" is still thoroughly a "yeth."
Bobby's work continues to crank up. It's all good stuff, but a lot of responsibility. More meetings. More trips to Chicago. More user group appearances. We both feel like we've been thrust into real adulthood all at once. Out from the sidelines, into the game.
For me, the third trimester "uncomfies" are in full swing (32 weeks along tomorrow!). It's a struggle to sleep through the night and put on my own socks. I feel gigantic. My bellybutton is sore. My pelvis has just started going loosey-goosey on me in a sore and bruisy sort of way. I'm lacking energy and drive. Every day when I wake up, this same tiny conversation pops into my head: "Yikes! Another day in the third trimester." "If I had the baby today, he would probably be X big and be in the NICU for Y amount of time." "Hmm. Best hang on to him a bit longer."
As if I had ANY control in the matter.
Peek-A-Boo is an active little fellow...limbs sliding and spine arching and all kinds of twisty wrestling going on in there. When I wake up in the middle of the night, his antics can keep me just awake enough to hear James' periodic, quiet "sleep shrieks" in the room next door. James has been working on his first 2-year-molar this week...yippee! Once these puppies grow in, he's done with teething FOREVER!
Robert and Alice got their first taste of real Legos today. We've only allowed Duplo up to this point (for several unimportant reasons, mostly cost and mess). They weren't so hot at following the building instructions, but once the cars were made, they easily disassembled them and rearranged all the parts into cool new cars. This might work out after all!
Now it's my bedtime. Gotta get kids off to school tomorrow.
The kids are "in bed", but I hear Alice singing "The Star Spangled Banner" over and over and over again. Her music teacher introduced it to them this week as part of the 200th anniversary of the lyrics' writing. She's been kinda obsessed with it ever since.
Alice's school had "Invite a Friend to Lunch" day and she invited our other next door neighbor Diane P. to come along. Robert has high hopes Alice will invite him next time. I wonder if I could send him unaccompanied...hmmmmm.
Alice wanted to sell her own handcrafted coloring pages door-to-door this week, but I convinced her to start with people we know who might have an actual need for coloring pages. She got our backdoor neighbors to commission a 4-page coloring book for their grandson and she earned a dollar for her labors!
Robert and I took some flowers and tomatoes to our neighbor this afternoon. He apologized for stealing tomatoes from her garden and said he wouldn't do it again. I think the most uncomfortable part of this whole thing was confessing his crime to Diane. One of his extra chores was helping me build up the back corner of the fence so it would be less hoppable in the future. As we worked, we chatted about future scenarios and how he might respond differently if something like this ever came up again. He was cheerful and creative about this problem and suggested we move the large chicken crate away from the fence so people wouldn't be tempted to use it as a fence-hopping stool. Done! Thanks for the suggestion, Buddy!
We had a neighborhood picnic/potluck this evening. Robert ate two plates of potato chips, two hamburger buns with shredded cheese, three cucumber spears, a handful of grapes, three cups of soda/lemonade, and a slice of key lime pie. He's in the bathroom with a stomachache right now. He also got a huge mosquito bite on his forehead that swelled up instantly.
At the picnic, James just kept grinning and pointing at his cup, "O-duh, o-duh." Yes, James, that bubbly drink is called "soda." So glad you like it.
James' vocabulary has recently changed, dropping some of the baby words I adored. For example, Robert is no longer just "Apu". Now he is "Waw-doht" and sometimes "Buddy." James calls Bobby "Dad" more often than "Daddy" now. Water isn't always "bah-bah", sometimes it's actually "wah-duh." And he calls birds "boe-dies" more often than "caw-caws" these days. Sigh. At least his "yes" is still thoroughly a "yeth."
Bobby's work continues to crank up. It's all good stuff, but a lot of responsibility. More meetings. More trips to Chicago. More user group appearances. We both feel like we've been thrust into real adulthood all at once. Out from the sidelines, into the game.
For me, the third trimester "uncomfies" are in full swing (32 weeks along tomorrow!). It's a struggle to sleep through the night and put on my own socks. I feel gigantic. My bellybutton is sore. My pelvis has just started going loosey-goosey on me in a sore and bruisy sort of way. I'm lacking energy and drive. Every day when I wake up, this same tiny conversation pops into my head: "Yikes! Another day in the third trimester." "If I had the baby today, he would probably be X big and be in the NICU for Y amount of time." "Hmm. Best hang on to him a bit longer."
As if I had ANY control in the matter.
Peek-A-Boo is an active little fellow...limbs sliding and spine arching and all kinds of twisty wrestling going on in there. When I wake up in the middle of the night, his antics can keep me just awake enough to hear James' periodic, quiet "sleep shrieks" in the room next door. James has been working on his first 2-year-molar this week...yippee! Once these puppies grow in, he's done with teething FOREVER!
Robert and Alice got their first taste of real Legos today. We've only allowed Duplo up to this point (for several unimportant reasons, mostly cost and mess). They weren't so hot at following the building instructions, but once the cars were made, they easily disassembled them and rearranged all the parts into cool new cars. This might work out after all!
Now it's my bedtime. Gotta get kids off to school tomorrow.
Friday, September 12, 2014
A Sense of Right and Wrong
I'm trying to make sense of a few sad choices that Robert made yesterday...
...he hopped over the back fence
...ran through the block
...raided our neighbor's garden for tomatoes
...and tried to sneak back without me noticing
I'm simply exasperated. Robert can't stand tomatoes. He loves our backdoor neighbor. He knows it's wrong to leave the fenced backyard without permission. What on EARTH did he hope to accomplish?!
I do know he was not alone, but it's hard to know how it all played out. He tells his side of the story like this: his friend wanted some tomatoes, so he told them where to find some. His friend hopped the fence and went looking for the neighbor's garden, but couldn't find it. Robert decided to hop the fence and show his friend where they were. I caught them red-handed as they were all coming back to our yard.
Why didn't Robert come tell me the kids were hopping the fence? Why didn't Robert find anything wrong/illegal/untoward about this whole scenario? Or, if he did know it was wrong, why did he go through with it anyway? Later, Robert told me that this wasn't the first time he and his friends had stolen tomatoes from our neighbor's garden. This was just the first time they had been caught. And he was really sorry he got caught this time.
Really?! Argh!
This is something I'll be able to laugh about in the future. Right now, I'm wondering whether his moral compass is broken, or if I've neglected his moral upbringing, or if I've just gotten lazy and depended on Alice to tell me whenever he was starting to make a sad choice (Alice wasn't outside with the kids yesterday). Why wasn't I out there supervising their play? Well, Robert doesn't hop the fence when he's alone or with Alice. He acts differently when he's with peers and I keep forgetting that.
So, what did Bobby and I do about it? Well, Buddy got a time out right away and the friends were asked to leave. He is earning money through chores to buy replacement tomatoes for our neighbor, which we will be delivering by hand with a formal verbal apology. He lost my trust, though, which is what hurts me most. I can't even trust him to play unsupervised in our own backyard?!
One part of me just wants to punish him and make him suffer for embarrassing me and scaring me. The better part of me knows we need to understand how he saw the situation. The end goal is to help him make better choices in the future, right? It's good we get to practice this while he's four. Maybe he'll get it down before the consequence for poor choices gets much, much worse.
...he hopped over the back fence
...ran through the block
...raided our neighbor's garden for tomatoes
...and tried to sneak back without me noticing
I'm simply exasperated. Robert can't stand tomatoes. He loves our backdoor neighbor. He knows it's wrong to leave the fenced backyard without permission. What on EARTH did he hope to accomplish?!
I do know he was not alone, but it's hard to know how it all played out. He tells his side of the story like this: his friend wanted some tomatoes, so he told them where to find some. His friend hopped the fence and went looking for the neighbor's garden, but couldn't find it. Robert decided to hop the fence and show his friend where they were. I caught them red-handed as they were all coming back to our yard.
Why didn't Robert come tell me the kids were hopping the fence? Why didn't Robert find anything wrong/illegal/untoward about this whole scenario? Or, if he did know it was wrong, why did he go through with it anyway? Later, Robert told me that this wasn't the first time he and his friends had stolen tomatoes from our neighbor's garden. This was just the first time they had been caught. And he was really sorry he got caught this time.
Really?! Argh!
This is something I'll be able to laugh about in the future. Right now, I'm wondering whether his moral compass is broken, or if I've neglected his moral upbringing, or if I've just gotten lazy and depended on Alice to tell me whenever he was starting to make a sad choice (Alice wasn't outside with the kids yesterday). Why wasn't I out there supervising their play? Well, Robert doesn't hop the fence when he's alone or with Alice. He acts differently when he's with peers and I keep forgetting that.
So, what did Bobby and I do about it? Well, Buddy got a time out right away and the friends were asked to leave. He is earning money through chores to buy replacement tomatoes for our neighbor, which we will be delivering by hand with a formal verbal apology. He lost my trust, though, which is what hurts me most. I can't even trust him to play unsupervised in our own backyard?!
One part of me just wants to punish him and make him suffer for embarrassing me and scaring me. The better part of me knows we need to understand how he saw the situation. The end goal is to help him make better choices in the future, right? It's good we get to practice this while he's four. Maybe he'll get it down before the consequence for poor choices gets much, much worse.
Bishop's Wife?
When the announcement was made at church that the bishopric would be changing, a boy in the pew in front of me turned to his mom and said, "I liked the old bishop!" His mom (my friend), horrified and embarrassed, responded, "Do you realize you're sitting right in front of the new bishop's wife?!" I assured the young man that I, too, liked the old bishop.
I know Bobby can do a fine job as bishop in our ward. He will be working with two very outgoing, dynamic, and deep-down good men, too, which helps a lot.
I, however, feel woefully inadequate to take the "bishop's wife" role. I have this stereotypical image of a bishop's wife as this middle-aged, well-coifed, sharply-dressed lady who is as warm and welcoming as she is firm and professional. She gives hugs and easily chats with anyone who makes eye contact with her. I see her comforting sobbing women. I see her behind the scenes at ward activities serving and acting as the glue keeping it all together.
I don't see her wrestling four young kids of her own. Someone else's kids, sure, but not her own. I think all of hers have grown up. The kids aren't perfect, but at least they're quiet. And potty-trained.
I don't see her as a socially awkward people-phobe who has to give herself a pep talk just to smile at strangers.
I certainly don't see her as me.
I know that I can change with time and practice and lots of prayer. I also know that's it's a lot easier to hide than to change. Let's hope I find a happy medium somewhere in the next five years :)
Five years! Alice will be 12. Buddy will be 9. James will be 7. And this baby I haven't even set eyes on will be walking, talking, dressing himself, and potty trained...all ready for Kindergarten. It seems like an eternity to live through. I'll be 40 years old. Maybe I'll look like a bishop's wife by the end of the term...hmmmmm.
I know Bobby can do a fine job as bishop in our ward. He will be working with two very outgoing, dynamic, and deep-down good men, too, which helps a lot.
I, however, feel woefully inadequate to take the "bishop's wife" role. I have this stereotypical image of a bishop's wife as this middle-aged, well-coifed, sharply-dressed lady who is as warm and welcoming as she is firm and professional. She gives hugs and easily chats with anyone who makes eye contact with her. I see her comforting sobbing women. I see her behind the scenes at ward activities serving and acting as the glue keeping it all together.
I don't see her wrestling four young kids of her own. Someone else's kids, sure, but not her own. I think all of hers have grown up. The kids aren't perfect, but at least they're quiet. And potty-trained.
I don't see her as a socially awkward people-phobe who has to give herself a pep talk just to smile at strangers.
I certainly don't see her as me.
I know that I can change with time and practice and lots of prayer. I also know that's it's a lot easier to hide than to change. Let's hope I find a happy medium somewhere in the next five years :)
Five years! Alice will be 12. Buddy will be 9. James will be 7. And this baby I haven't even set eyes on will be walking, talking, dressing himself, and potty trained...all ready for Kindergarten. It seems like an eternity to live through. I'll be 40 years old. Maybe I'll look like a bishop's wife by the end of the term...hmmmmm.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
A Good Place
This week I've had several dreams of good times in my life (or good times I would have liked to have in my life). Some of them a little odd (return of the 10th grade crush, anyone?), but each one kind of fun and interesting. The strangest part about all of this, though, is how I felt when I woke up from these dreams. They were all good dreams and I was reminded of good times, but as I woke up and realized where I was and who I spend my time with these days, I was surprisingly happier in reality.
I'm at a good place in my life right now. It's not perfect, but it's right where I want to be, and I like being here in my life more than I've liked being anywhere else in my life to date. The dreams have helped me see that I wouldn't choose to go back to any another time. I am already at my favorite place in the story :)
...so far.
I'm at a good place in my life right now. It's not perfect, but it's right where I want to be, and I like being here in my life more than I've liked being anywhere else in my life to date. The dreams have helped me see that I wouldn't choose to go back to any another time. I am already at my favorite place in the story :)
...so far.
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