Newborn Games

Alice was invited to a friend's house this morning so I could rest.

The timing was just right: Bobby took Alice to the Jarvi's house just as I finished feeding Robert. I figured he'd fall asleep right away so I could eat breakfast, read the scriptures, start a load of laundry, and get in a little doze before the next feeding.

"Okay, Bob, let's get some rest."

He wasn't acting tired.

I swaddled him up and rocked him in the Snuggle Chair for 30 minutes for one measly yawn and a couple of slow blinks. Grrrrrr.

The one thing motherhood continues to teach me again and again is that I don't have control over all the things I'm responsible for. Coaxing a perfectly content and alert newborn to sleep is not only out of my control, but impossible. I gave up hope in the promise of a nap and decided to see what else happened instead.

We stared at each other for a while. He began to fuss. I started talking to him. He listened with interest. I talked some more. I bounced him on my knee. He actually seemed like he might be enjoying himself (it's hard to tell these things when the kid hasn't learned to smile yet). I made up some silly game with more bouncing and sitting, a few bicycle leg actions, and ta-daaaaa: newborn playtime. I had forgotten that you can play with newborns. Until now, I've been so focused on the eating, excreting, and sleeping bits that I forgot he was a real person.

So, here's what I can tell about Robert, the real person, so far:

He's an alert little babe, more awake and alert than I remember Alice being at this age. Out of the three hours between feedings, he's eating/burping/changing diapers for 40-50 minutes, looking around and playing for up to two hours, and dozing for an hour or so. Very different from my Type A Alice who would wake up, eat for 40 minutes, play for 20 minutes, and promptly fall asleep for two hours until she was several weeks old.

He's a mover. Robert loves a good stroll about the house to calm his nerves and settle into sleep. Rocking chairs and swings just don't cut it...he's got to be going somewhere.

He's a snuggler. When he's not lurching about trying to see everything, the boy curls into your shoulder or elbow pit and lies there contentedly. The car seat, the swing, and the bouncy seat are his mortal enemies. The Baby Bjorn front-carrier is tolerable, but only if I'm dancing about the house. Literally dancing.

He's no solo artist. Don't leave this boy alone. He can't stand it. He and Alice will make quite the pair.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

I am so tired. I have been taking one feeding a night this last half of the week, and wow I am tired. It is not helped by Alice coming in at 6:30 each morning to get us out of bed and scolding us for closing our eyes when "it's morning, it's light out." I don't know how Susan manages with more then one feeding a night. Alice has been having a hard time too. She is not getting as much attention as she got before, and it is not nearly as immediate as it was before. So she is trying everything she can to spend more time with us. Right now even as I write this she is standing next to me asking if I am done yet. She wants to write some so here she is.

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Last night she was stalling and Susan just didn't have the patience so she told alice to speed up or she would have to go straight to bed. Well, Alice climbed under her bed, so she lost her story etc. She cried and cried about it. The this morning she told Susan that she was going to obey, because she liked the stories. She has also tried commanding us to do things a lot more. This has led to a number of situations too. But, I think we are going to make it. P.S. Little bob is doing well.

Whoa

It's not getting easier, I'm just getting used to it. Slowly.

What a crazy experience this has been. I've been hesitant to share my raw feelings on the blog because I'm not sure how much of this transition time I really want to remember :)

Having my family leave was really hard. I entertained several scenarios of extending my mom's stay including buying my parents a home in town, converting the garage into a mini house for my mom, and downright kidnapping her. The very thought of mothering two on my own for 10 minutes made me burst into tears. Repeatedly.

Then she left. Bobby stayed home that first day. It went really well. I gained courage. Then I had my first night without my mom. It all fell apart. I'll spare you the details of Little Bob's intestinal distress. Suffice it to say, I've confidently cut out chocolate, all forms of milk/dairy/butter, citrus, peanuts, and anything in the cabbage family from my diet. Legumes are highly suspect as well. He's better now.

I'm doing better, too. I see now that I never would have stepped up if I had always had someone to pass one (or both) of the kids to. I fear the unknown (i.e. the unplanned), and avoidance is my coping mechanism of choice. They had to leave. I wouldn't/couldn't do it until I absolutely had to.

And now I have to. Day 2. Things are good. The kids are still alive and I'm not crazy. I realized (once my family left) that I didn't have to do it alone. Several generous friends have offered to watch Alice so I can rest, other generous friends are bringing meals, and I live with this guy who's really nice. He's offered to feed the boy once a night. He's also been doing the dishes, changing diapers, and giving Alice heaps of one-on-one attention. I couldn't have asked for a better roommate or eternal companion.

I know I can do this as long as I get enough sleep. I'm not depressed about it anymore, thankfully, just facing a new reality with soberness and fewer hormones every day ;)

You know you've had too many hormones when "Rhapsody in Blue" elevator music makes you cry. Yup, it can happen to you. There are several parts of this transition that I don't need to remember :)

Here's a picture of Little Bob wearing a family heirloom purchased from an English church bazaar many decades ago. Looks like my long torso has struck again. His gas-filled belly doesn't help much, either.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

Sorry I did not post anything earlier. Saturday I decided to clean out the gutters on the house, and I did not take care of my allergies like I should have so after church I went straight to bed with a sinus headache. I feel better now, but I really need to remember to watch out for it.

Susan seems to be doing OK. She is a bit nervous about her mom leaving, and having to fly solo for a while. But she is strong and I think she will adapt fairly well. This week has been very tiring. Just the normal new baby things, but that is still enough.

Getting more brave

Alice insists she's getting more courageous every day. Movies that used to be too scary (i.e. tense music of any sort, chaos or crashes, anyone crying), she now insists that she can watch all the way. She barely made it through all of Mary Poppins (that old man banker that "takes" Michael's tuppence really scares the heck out of her) the other day, but she hasn't managed to make it through any scene in Monster's, Inc that has Roz in it.

She's also exploring a new interest in "extreme sports":

At least my mom is taking pictures :)

Finger painting




"I wanna wipe him." "Okay, you can wipe him when I'm done." (hand her a clean, wet, cold wipe which she holds up with pinched fingers) "Uh, YOU do it, Mom."



Altogether now



Movie and Popcorn Night

Bobby's Sunday Summary

Well, you you already know what happened this week. You probably don't have all of the details though, and I am not completely sure of them either. So I will tell you what I know and remember and Susan can perhaps fill/correct it all a little later.

The week started out with us not really believing that he would come this week. Then after a fairly normal day at work wednesday I come home to find Susan in labor. We call up my brother who comes over and picks up Alice. We tried to eat dinner, and Susan managed to get two bites but we left before my plate finished in the microwave. We got to the hospital and went up to labor and delivery. The took us straight to a birthing room, and started to go through the process of checking us in. They didn't get far until Susan had a contraction and felt like she needed to push. The threw everyone for a loop, and 3 contractions and 5 pushes later Little Robert was out. So Labor started at 5:00 p.m. and he was out by 7:15 p.m. and we finished signing the consent forms at about 8:00 p.m.

I have to say that Alice has been wonderful. She played well with her cousins and friends that have watched her while we had other things to do. She has also played very well by herself. She is a very kind and happy big sister. When I was getting ready to go pick Susan and Robert up from the hospital I asked Alice which blanket to take, she yelled at me not to take the frog blanket that I had grabbed. I thought oh no she is already being possessive of his things and does not want to share. But I was wrong she grabbed her silky, her very special blanket that she asks for every time she is sad and needs comfort, and insisted that we use it for him. Last night she woke up at 4 am crying because Bob was out feeding and not in his crib in her room.

Friday was a very busy day. Susan came home from the hospital in the morning. Then that night Alice and I went to the fairy tale ball, which we had promised her earlier. It had some dancing but it was mostly games for little kids. It was nice, but it kept Alice up too late again for a second night in a row. Then that night I went to go pick up Susan's mother from the airport.

Day 3

So far, he's an efficient eater, a sound sleeper, and great at filling a diaper. What more could we ask for? Alice loves him enthusiastically when she remembers he's here, but he's asleep too much to maintain her interest for long. That's a good balance for me at this stage in the game.

Grandma Poulson has been an excellent help already with Alice and the baby and the house and my own recovery. Alice has treated her as a guest (i.e. showing her everything about her room, telling her about our daily lives in explicit detail) and as a well-loved family member (i.e. hugs, asking to play games, wanting to sit by her at meals, etc.). Yet another good balance at this stage of the game.

I'll fill you in on the birth story a little later when I'm ready to think about it again. Short version: condensing a 12-24 hour process of birth into 2.5 hours can be a very painful and surprisingly frightening process, even when you've done something a lot like it before.

So, his name is Robert Jerald but I'm still unsettled on what to call him every day.

The following short variations of his name are out because they are already associated (good or ill) with other people/experiences that we don't wish to duplicate:

Bob
Bobby
Rob
Robbie
Jer
Jerry

These variations are still up for grabs:

Robert
Bobert
Roberto
Bert
Berty
RJ
BJ
BoJu
JerJu

And I'll consider any other variations you might like to leave in the comments. Alice and Bobby have settled on "Baby Bob." That's what I call him when I'm speaking with Alice. Personally, I tend to use Buddy, Buddy Boy, Boy-O, Old Man, and Snuggles but none of them really describe this little personality. As I use his official name more, it comes to fit him more. I may simply settle on "Robert" in the end. Boring, but accurate :)

Introducing Robert Jerald Evans

We would like to introduce you to Robert Jerald Evans.

Community Supported Agriculture

For those who live in the C-U area, I'd like to put in a quick plug for the Prairieland Community Supported Agriculture (PCSA) run by the Moore Family in Watseka, IL. They are a family of farmers that grows organic produce for sale at farmer's markets and through "subscription" (aka CSA). I was fantastically impressed with the quality and quantity of their weekly produce share last year (check out my blog archive for weekly-ish descriptions of the haul and what I did with it). I've decided to go with them again this year, especially since a newborn (if he ever does make an appearance) tends to put a damper on even the most humble of home gardening plans.

They still have 27 shares left. If you live near me, I'd be happy to coordinate pickups with you so we both don't have to go pickup every week.

Quick pic

Just a quck picture from Easter Morning and the flowers in our front of our house.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has been interesting to say the least. Susan is still pregnant as of the writing of this post. It has been a hard week for her, just dealing with all the aches and pains and the not knowing when this is all going to happen. Work has been a bit stressful. But we have made some good progress so my boss is not quite so nervous. It was also odd because every day when I head home I have to make absolutely sure that someone can take over for me the next day if I am not there.

Saturday was a very interesting day. In the morning I went out to go help with a friend of mine that was moving some stuff out of a storage garage. It was rainy and wet, but we got started moving things into the van. After moving a number of items I was not paying attention to where my hand was and gave it a fairly good cut right in between two knuckles. Luckily someone else there who, actually was holding the other end of the chest of drawers is a doctor and looked at my hand. He said I probably didn't need to go get stitches. It was small enough they might not bother. So I now have my hand wrapped up with a butterfly bandage holding the cut shut. It is far more annoying then painful, and it is an adventure with a very active 3 year old, a wife that is 9 months pregnant and me trying to use my left hand for everything so I can give my right hand a rest.

After I got it all cleaned up we watched conference and then went to an easter party.

There was egg dying.

And an easter egg hunt. As you can probably see Alice was one of the oldest and fasted searchers there. We felt a little bad taking home about twice as many eggs as we went with, but not too bad. It was great to see Alice having fun with her friends.

Due Date Come...

...and gone? Though there are technically 3.5 hours left in this monumental Due Date Day, I think it's unlikely Baby Zurg will make an appearance. The longer this pregnancy goes, the less anxious I get about his timing. In fact, after today, we're starting a new kind of adventure...overdueness. My appointment went really well with Kathy, one of the midwives, on Friday. I don't think I've laughed so much at a prenatal checkup before. I really, really, really like working with the midwives. They're such a good group for me and my approach to pregnancy!

Anyway, here's the plan. We'll wait it out another week and see what happens. Next Friday, at week 41, I'm scheduled for a non-stress test, a sonogram, a cervical exam, and ANOTHER beta-strep test (those suckers expire after 5 weeks, sheesh!). Armed with all that data, we'll chat about options. How do I feel about induction? Well, I haven't made up my mind about it yet. I'm not SO uncomfortable every day that life is miserable...yet. My bulk is inconvenient, sure, but I'm able to sleep well most nights and rest in the afternoon during Alice's "quiet time." I'm curious to see what my body and this baby will do together without interference. How long will that curiosity overpower the inconvenience issue? No telling. At least one more week.

That said, my mom arrives on Friday. I've backed out of my regularly-scheduled obligations this week and I'm hesitant to make appointments/plans that I might not get to attend, so that leaves me alone at home a lot. I value my time at home, but it's been a few weeks of this already. I'm feeling kinda lonely now. It will be nice to have a friend around who also happens to make a few meals, clean my house, and entertain my child when I need a break :) A little time and space before the baby arrives can only be a GOOD thing, right?

Keeping my mind on other things

Instead of lamenting that I'm still pregnant (sigh), I'll share some recent Alicey goodness. Here's a picture of Alice "hiding" by our front door with her amazing stocking cap:

 

It was a little chilly that morning, yes, but nothing a good little romp couldn't fix:

And another Star Stick activity gone swimmingly: "Play with blocks"

I asked Alice to tell me about what she had built, but she was feeling a little camera shy. She won't stay in the frame when she knows you're going to take a picture, and she generally runs away when you mention "movie." Hmmmm.