James' Drawings

The assignment was to 1) draw their own shoe while observing it, 2) divide the field of view with straight lines and 3) alternate between color and gray scale within those divisions. I am completely in love with the toe of this shoe. It's perfect! I can't even point out what makes it look so realistic. I just look at that and it's actually how a shoe looks.

This is the exterior view of the latest iteration of James' dream home.

I couldn't get this image turned around properly :(  I just love seeing each wall of the room in turn. 

Same here...all the details and spatial reasoning that went into this...it's just very satisfying to see and imagine myself there. I love it!

Bike Ride with James

I scheduled the van for a hitch install this week, just in time to drive down to Houston next week and pick up a trailer full of goodies to bring home to Urbana :)

Serendipitously, the UHaul hitch install place is only half a mile from the bike shop where I work, so drop off was easy. I could take my bike in the van to UHaul, bike to work, then drive or bike home depending on when the install was done.

Well, it got a little sticky at 3pm when all 4 kids had dentist appointments and the van wasn't ready yet. Bobby squeezed them into the white car and made it work, though. Yay! 

(Still no cavities. This is beyond ridiculous! Not one cavity in 49 combined years of tooth-growing?! Sheesh. Tough little toothies.)

 

Alex threw up several times that night. Matthew had experienced the same stomach bug a few days before, but we thought it was food poisoning. Nope! So, we immediately cancelled piano lessons and Winter Fun Camp happening the next day.

When the car was ready, I was ready to get out of the house and away from the kids. I decided to ride my bike to the UHaul shop. Much to my surprise, James wanted to come along. I thought about it for a minute. I weighed the options, pros and cons, and decided that it would be more fun for me and everyone else if James came along. It was only 6 miles, the temperature was in the wet but tolerable low 40s, and he's a confident and focused cyclist. He wouldn't slow me down much, and he wouldn't complain. 

I've just gotta say it again: James doesn't tend to complain. He's got all sorts of other energy-draining behaviors, and he will complain now and then, but most of the time he just accepts it or finds a logical way around it or inspires others to complain about it instead 😉 

And you know what? We had a really good ride together. The route took us through a part of campus that he knows well from our ACES Family Academy experiences. He reminisced out loud as we passed those landmarks, noting what has changed since our stay last July. Then we biked through several neighborhoods. He pointed out houses and cars that piqued his interest, talking about how different they all are even in one neighborhood. He made me see my commute in a very different way.

He did get tired about mile 4. We were ascending a long, slow Illinois hill. He paused at a Lost Cat poster for several minutes reading it over and over and then looking around and then reading it again. Soon afterwards, we were coasting down the other side at 15 mph and he was shouting out discoveries about his head position and how that changed the volume of the wind. 

I really do enjoy 1-on-1 time with my kids. It didn't hurt that I also got to be riding my bike and finishing an errand at the same time 😀

Found this lovely photo op along our ride :) It's on the side of a motorcycle shop.

It got me thinking that maybe I could do recreational cycling with this kid. You know...drive somewhere, ride your bike around to see stuff, then drive home. I have zero interest in that sort of thing on my own, but it would be an absolutely lovely way to spend time with someone I love. And now that we have a hitch...

Family birthday

Our family turned 22 years old on Monday. We got to celebrate it with Erin! I created a little slideshow of pictures touching on our time together as a family.

We're all old enough now to appreciate cute baby pictures :)

It was strange seeing pictures of the kids much younger than now. The growth happened ever so slowly...each child inching from who they were then to who they are now. Some traits clearly persisted, some evolved into other shapes, and some completely disappeared. I wonder how much Bobby and I have changed. 

This year marks a significant middle point in my life: I have been married as many years as I've been single.

After the slideshow, we went to dinner at the Urbana Garden Family Restaurant. It's not an awesome restaurant, but it has a little bit of everything so everyone could order something they liked. 2 people ordered breakfast, 2 ordered sandwich things, and 3 ordered classic American fare.

After dinner, we went to the movie theater and watched "Wonka." The family gave mixed reviews on that one, but I personally liked it very much.

I didn't take a single picture all night. During the slideshow, Robert reveled in the fact that there weren't many pictures of him at this age. Bobby took one right then 😆 

Christmas Change

Christmas is working a little differently for our family this year. I routinely feel overwhelmed in mid-November with all of the Christmas holiday work to be done. Even the "fun" traditions take loads of emotional effort for me since it's very difficult to meet everyone's changing preferences and expectations. Add that to the "Mommy Tax*" and I pretty much can't win.  

So, it occurred to me this year that maybe we could divvy up the emotional burden! 

--Bobby and I are managing the Santa gifts

--Alex is planning Christmas Dinner

--Robert is responsible for filling everyone's stockings

--James is in charge of our daily advent countdown activities

--Matthew is putting together our Christmas Eve dinner and Program

The kids were pretty excited about this when it was first proposed. James put together the Advent Calendar right away. Already, we've had a foil boat contest, sat by the fire, put up the Christmas tree, run around the house, and listened to meditation music. There have been a couple activities that James and Matthew decided weren't worth the effort after all (e.g. make a nativity scene out of cardboard) and instead of supreme disappointment that Mom put something lame in the advent countdown (Mommy tax!), they just shrugged their shoulders and moved on as if to say, "Well, what else would you expect from a kid?" 

Such a welcome relief! And while the activities aren't especially spiritual or Christmas-y, they are exactly what the boys love best about them: something unexpected and fun to do together as a family every day. I'm good with that. 

The other day, Matthew was reading The Friend magazine and gasped, "This is something we could do for Christmas Eve!" It's a script for a Christmas Nativity Play complete with a narrator and simple costume instructions. He was so excited! That's tooooootally up his alley.

Robert asked me to take him shopping on Saturday for the Christmas stockings. We gave him a budget and a few loose guidelines and he was ready to go. I was not. I hate shopping. Especially during the Christmas season. And especially, especially when there isn't a clear shopping list. I gathered my strength and off we went. Turns out, Robert is a thoughtful, diligent, and flexible stocking shopper. He made all the tough decisions. He made it fair. He tailored each one. He stayed remarkably on-budget and within the guidelines we set. Not only that, but Robert is delightfully funny and charming when it's just me and him. Soooo, an odious Christmas chore turned into quality time with one of my favorite people on the whole planet! Best Christmas gift ever. Seriously. 

Bobby and I worked together on the Santa gifts. He had some really great gift ideas for the kids that I think will go over really well. I like spending time with Bobby. I like working with him, too. He's such a nice guy. Not just smart and good looking, but just plain nice.

Alex is currently working on the Christmas dinner menu. He has already asked me if I'm capable of following a recipe even if it's full of butter, cheese, more butter, and refined grains. I squintched my eyes and said yes. I've never managed to do that with recipes in the past, but I can do hard things for my family...right? 

*Mommy Tax is what I call the additional emotional charge behind anything one's mother does, says, gives, offers, forgets, or celebrates. Because a particular gift or activity was selected by Mom, it means something different from the same gift or activity selected by another person. For example, if I chose to give my child cash instead of stocking stuffers because I know there's no toy or game he would want in there, he would be disappointed and hurt. Really hurt. If he is filling stockings, however, and decides himself that there isn't any stocking stuffer he actually wants, then he's just fine with the cash. This Mommy Tax applies to everything I do for/with/relating to my children. It's a super power AND my kryptonite. 

Kids on the Stairs

 

We're missing one of the Garner kids (he's at college) but the rest are here. Why don't Robert and James ever smile in pictures?! They won't tell me. Maybe when they're adults they'll feel like sharing. 

Victory

Yesterday, Robert came home from school in a really good mood. He said, "Y'know the three things that make me happy?"

"Uh, what?"

"There are three things that make me happy: 1) being good at math, 2) being good at Fortnite, and 3) transcending on Clicker Heroes (another video game)."

"Huh," I said, but I was thinking, "Really? That's all it takes to make you happy?!"

"Well, today in math, I finished the unit workbook in 15 minutes and the teacher said they'll take 2-3 days as a class to go through it all! Second, my Clicker Heroes run was interrupted and I lost 3 weeks of progress. But, [technical jargon involving the game's saving protocols and the idiosyncrasies of his school-issued Chromebook] and it turns out I hadn't lost all that progress. My progress was perfectly restored! And third, I worked on [Fortnite-specific technical game skills and fine motor control issues] and I doubled my editing speed!"

That's a triple whammy for the boy. A very, very good day. 

"Plus, I got on a roll and wrote 7.5 pages for my creative writing assignment. C read it and said it was really good. And we know each other well enough that that was a real compliment. It's not a story that you would want to read, Mom, but it's great that someone with that much reading and literature experience would like my story."

*************************************

Alex was trying to print something at home for a friend and the colors were coming out all weird and stripey. He asked me to have a look. I poked around, pushed some buttons, and printed the printer test page. Alex saw the results, analyzed them, looked up online how to resolve the issues, and pushed some more buttons. One minute later, the printer was working perfectly. He was crazy proud of himself for working that out. 

*************************************

There were literally no work orders at the shop on Thursday. No one was in line to have their bike worked on. No reservations. No work waiting for parts. There was not one bike mechanic task on the schedule for the day or the next or any of the days on the shop calendar. Nothing. That meant we were tasked with store things instead. I sorted the tire and tube storage areas. It sounds like a dumb chore, but I actually learned a TON about tire sizes and types. I sorted everything out, created new labels, and felt good about the work I had done. 

*************************************

Last Saturday, I was filling in at the shop for a coworker. We were having a really hard time installing some fat, knobby, studded tubeless tires onto their wheels. We were all online looking up strategies for this sort of problem. I'm still the newest employee, so I'm used to asking other employees how to do things. This time, though, we were all on the same footing. I found an idea that I wanted to try. I suggested it. They kinda shrugged their shoulders and kept looking. I decided to move forward with it. 

I went into the back room to get the tool I needed and when I turned on the light, there were two shop mannequins right up close to me in threatening poses. It was too perfect to be accidental. I thought, "That's dumb," and got the tool. 

A few days later, my coworker walked into that same back room and scared himself silly with those mannequins. The very mannequins that he had set up to scare others. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, I feel like my coworkers are barely out of middle school 😕 

My technique with the tire worked, though! That felt like a victory. 

Photo binge

 

Alex and me in the Garners' living room for Thanksgiving.

James scooping out some cheese balls on our drive to Ohio. This particular brand and container of cheese balls is important in our family. Many, many years ago, Erin took Alex and Robert to Indianapolis for a little mini vacation. Those cheese balls were one of their road snack choices. Both Alex and Robert remember how HUGE the container seemed and they ate cheese balls until they were sick. Stories of this enormous bin of cheese balls passed down from sibling to sibling until it became legend. Now, it's a really special treat to have.

Putting up the Christmas tree this week for Monday Night Fun. Did I tell you that Robert recently opposed the "Monday Night Fun" title? He half-jokingly proposed it should be called "Family Togetherness Time" instead because he no longer finds any of the activities "fun." Every once in a while, though, he has fun ;)

More tree decorating. Each kid has their own set of ornaments and they put them on the tree. It's a much smoother and easier process now that the kids are old enough to manage their own ornaments. Whew!

We sat next to some friends at our most recent Stake Conference and they had a miniature Etch-A-Sketch. All three boys were transfixed by this novel technology. Our family has owned several magnetic drawing boards, but never an Etch-A-Sketch. Robert made this picture. 

Who got the random idea to trap their brother in duct tape? I can't remember. One part of me was like, "What a waste of duct tape!" and the other part was like, "It's just one roll, and I've always wanted to be wrapped up in duct tape, too. Why not let them?" We laughed a lot. No one could break free. 

James and Matthew had fun playing in our first leaf pile of the year. They did well with the raking and really enjoyed the leaf blower. We later had some younger friends over and the 3-year-old could barely hold the leaf blower up, but he found a way to shoot the leaves way up high into a waterfall.  

Another Monday Night Fun activity. This was a game like Minute to Win It. There's a series of challenges and you get points for the ones you accomplish. Matthew was really, really proud of this particular feat. He loves this game. 

Another Driver!

It's official, Alex has his driver's license! We completed his 50 hours of driving practice the same week he became eligible to apply for the license. The DMV experience was phenomenal. The employees were extremely friendly and reflected the excitement of a teenager getting his first license. Alex was completely at ease. Then, by random selection, they told him he would have to take ANOTHER driving test...alone...with one of their evaluators...in our brand new electric van...which he had never, ever, ever driven before. His eyes grew wide. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped. My stomach did, anyway. 

Well, I sat in the waiting room too nervous to do much. 

They came back and the evaluator let me know that Alex did just fine. He passed. The most impressive part of the story to me, though, was what Alex said when they first got into the car. He told the evaluator, "I am confident in my driving ability, but I've never driven this car before." That speaks volumes about Alex's maturity and confidence and ability to advocate for himself. I never could have done that at age 16! I wonder if I would even think to say it out loud at age 44. What a kid.

He said they worked together a solid 2 minutes just figuring out how to turn the engine on. I had to laugh out loud. This car is very different from any car I've ever driven, so I wouldn't let Alex drive it before now. I didn't want the features/quirks of the car to distract him from driving, y'know? Well, that kinda backfired on me. 

It's been interesting having another driver in the household. He's taken himself to run errands and go to appointments. He's taken the other kids to Erin's house and midweek youth activities. Matthew is still scared to drive with Alex (I think our experience in Indianapolis kinda traumatized him), but practice will help with that. Alex is actually a very conscientious driver. Not too passive, not too aggressive. Not even passive-aggressive :)

Thanksgiving 2023

We spent Thanksgiving this year with our friends the Garners in Ohio. The 7-hour car trip was the most pleasant we've ever had. Age and maturity make a huge difference! (And so do movies and audio books *cough cough*) We made a lunch/pit stop at a huge public park in Columbus. They had a full-size "boot camp" style obstacle course. I don't think Robert left the car at all. Everyone else took some time to stretch their legs and use the bathroom. It was cold. And windy. 

I didn't take any pictures, unfortunately. Here's my hangup: I don't like to use my phone when I'm around/with people I know. Some of it is avoiding the whole "negligent mom" label, some of it is striving to be more present with the people in my space, but most of my cell phone choices stem from just plain courtesy to others. When I'm doing something on my phone, I'm actively ignoring those around me. That's only okay under very specific circumstances. Anyway, that means I often DON'T have my phone with me when I'm hanging out with people I love. 

We got to the Garners' house about dinner time. James and Matthew immediately went downstairs to the wiggle cars. Alex and I went to pick up pizza. It was a casual and comfortable visit. We love the Garners!

The next morning, the Garners and a few of us Evanses (Bobby, James, Matthew and I) drove to downtown Cleveland to be part of the Turkey Trot. Robert and Alex stayed home. They thoroughly enjoyed the quiet house to themselves. James and Matthew signed up to run the 5k with me and Bobby. It was colder and windier than the day before. Right off Lake Erie, the wind was bitter cold. Matthew was loudly and tearfully regretting his clothing choices that morning as we walked to the starting line. I was beginning to regret inviting him along. Thankfully, the mass of almost 9,000 people was so enormous, we could tuck into the back middle of the crowd where there was no wind whatsoever. There were so many people that it took us a solid 5 minutes just to get to the starting line itself. Matthew and James ran with me. Within the first mile, we had peeled off all of our extra clothes. Hot! Run-walk-run-walk, we finally made it! Matthew was so proud of himself. I was so happy for both of them.

The Thanksgiving meal was simple and very tasty. Rachel assigned different kids to prepare different dishes. Robert walked up to me at one point, showed me his cut thumb, and dryly stated, "I don't know why they thought they could trust me with a vegetable peeler." 

All the traditions were there: turkey, rolls, egg nog and Sprite, sweet potato casserole, cookie salad, asparagus, place markers, Dungeons & Dragons, 3 pie flavors, pumpkin pie for breakfast the next day, and a treat tasting. We didn't get around to minute-to-win-it games, but we did get the "kids on the stairs" photo. Rachel did, anyway. I'll need to get a copy of that :)

I got to give Rachel's road bike a tune up. When I saw her bike, I felt a swelling of love for it like I do my own bike. Riding makes me SO happy. The bulk of my riding experience and joy is inextricably connected to Rachel and her bike, so seeing her bike was seeing a long-lost friend. *sigh* I miss the riding season. We got to do some straightforward repairs. Loved it! They have a whole fleet of road and mountain bikes that I can work on the next time I'm there!

It was a great break for us. The ride home was just as pleasant as the ride out. The kids were reluctant to go back to school, but it was good for all of us :)