Thankful Day

It's Thanksgiving.

Of course a blog post on gratitude is expected. 

Instead of making blanket statements that are easy to dismiss on the surface, I've been trying to see smaller things in my daily life that I'm truly grateful for...in addition to all the big blanket things, of course.

Thanksgiving Day, I'm grateful for the uplifting feeling of a holiday. It brightens my mood and the kids' moods.

I'm grateful for a 3-mile walk with Bobby and the kids (our version of a Turkey Trot).

I love laughing with far away family. 

I love random hugs from Alice. She just keeps giving them. 

Erin and her chi-weenie puppy Ruby came over for a lot of the day. I am grateful for a sweet, clean, quiet, and cute pet to "borrow" every once in a while. I don't need another life to care for, but I do like to love on cute dogs. Especially dogs as mild and sweet and affectionate as Ruby.

Erin turns every gathering into a party. I'm grateful for laughing so hard with her and the kids as we Skyped with family, played "Just Dance" on the PS4, and cycled through a few rounds of charades. Bobby did a fantastic job acting out "oil". Glad I didn't get that one.

Alice made these rolls! She was going for "turkey" but ended up with creepy clown-like creatures. Delicious.

James and Ruby chillin' while the other kids play "Just Dance". Ruby is lounging on a special nest James created for her.

A sculpture at Meadowbrook Park during our 3 mile walk.

Valuable Skills

I'm grateful for the tedious, undervalued (even by me), and sometimes monotonous work that I've come to excel at: menu planning, grocery shopping, cooking and housecleaning in particular. Why? Because 1) I kinda like them, 2) they're pretty essential in this household and 3) I'm proficient at them to a point that it's easy to use them to serve/thank others. 

I'm grateful for long talks with good friends. It doesn't really matter who's doing the talking, either.

Synchronous School

I'm grateful for synchronous virtual schooling for my kids. Matthew has never seen his teacher nor classmates in the flesh, but school is a real community to him. If we were doing all his schoolwork online without those live interactions, I think he would shrivel up and die. Also, we're all getting used to it enough that I don't need to be on-call as much. I can do a few other things at the same time :)

I'm grateful for a weekly zoom meeting with the sister missionaries in our ward. Our family has been doing this since April. In March, I felt like I/we could use an outside source of gospel learning once we couldn't go to church anymore. Every Tuesday evening, these amazing women share a spiritual thought, challenge us to live more Christ-like lives, and give the kids a chance to share what they know and what they don't know about the gospel. Sometimes the kids ask pretty hard questions. We figure out the answers together. The sister missionaries have been a great addition to our quarantine routine!

Alice Help

I'm grateful for Alice today. When she heard I wanted to go grocery shopping (as compared to just picking up a curbside order), she asked to come along. That was nice. She then proceeded to work the two youngest boys through their schoolwork, chores, and exercise requirements. That's normally the hardest, most stressful part of my day. Instead, I did all the hand wash dishes and had some time to read my book. That was lovely. The boys responded well to her encouragement and prodding. When they finished, Alice and I went shopping together. I'm a much livelier shopper when she comes along. I actually say out loud the things I'm thinking. I feel like dancing to the overhead music. She had to keep reminding me to stop dancing. Anyway, I enjoyed the one-on-one time. She kept me on-task and on-list, too :)

I'm grateful for indoor exercise at Erin's house. It gets me away from the noise and interruptions at my house. I also get to listen to and watch engaging, curious, educational, inspiring, and deep thinking things. It's good for my body and my mental health.

Family Photo

I'm grateful for a friend (and ministering sister) who can come over and take a spontaneous family photo of us with her snazzy camera. I realized we hadn't taken a whole-family photo since summer 2019!

 

I'm grateful for the Great British Baking Show. The contestants are so kind to each other, so supportive through success and disaster, and everyone genuinely hugs and kisses each other at the end of each episode, even the judges, giving words of encouragement. It's unlike anything else I've ever seen. Aren't they supposed to mistrust and despise each other? Aren't they supposed to feel like every good thing that happens to someone else takes away from their own happiness? Maybe they just hide it well. No matter. I choose to believe they actually care for each other in such a way that their reactions are genuine. It's nice to see that.

Saturday Quiet

I'm grateful for Erin who takes the time to rehearse guitar with me on Saturday afternoons and then hosts all four kids at her house for 3 hours right afterwards. I use that time to revel in the quiet, go for a run, work in my garden, read, shower, nap, walk with Bobby, work on thinking chores like menu/garden/schedule planning, blog, and just plain lie on the couch and relax. Sometimes, I even have a chance to feel bored. Bliss.

I'm grateful for kids that are finally grown enough that Bobby and I can take scheduled turns running the morning routine, bathing little ones, wrangling the high-maintenance ones in church, and getting up with kids in the night.

Supportive Spouse

I'm grateful for a spouse who:

1) knows the pull of a warm bed against the desire to exercise.

2) totally understands through experience how I can be dressed and ready to go biking at 6am but still dragging my feet every inch towards the door.

3) can explain to my kids (also up and raring to go at 6am) how finishing a good morning workout feels so much better than staying warm inside.

And I'm grateful for a body that can bike and run and work hard. That has been a real blessing in my life, even before I was exercising regularly.

Keeping Busy

We're still chugging along out here. The colder weather and darker evenings have forced another round of adaptation *SIGH*...exercising, getting out as a family, seeing friends in person, the kids' wardrobe, just plain feeling happy...they all need tweaking again. It's not the last time, I'm sure. 

James has returned to the sewing machine to make a couple pillows for his nest/bed. The kids also scored several recognition ribbons at the end of this quarter, and here is James sewing them onto a fabric background. He says he'd like to make a blanket with them eventually. The sewing machine wasn't exactly cooperating, but James remained remarkably patient. More patient than me. I had to walk away.

Here is a page from Matthew's most recent Kindergarten assessment. He had to write a "book" about himself. This is the first page. "Vos oz wt I ot lit" translates into "This is what I look like"

Here is James "at school". His head is sooooooo shaggy. He likes to whip his head from shoulder to shoulder and make the hair move like a wave.

James loves a good fort! This one uses his school desk as a roof.

Here is Matthew "at school". I love, love, love seeing his little head in those enormous gaming headphones. They were a gift. He hates getting his picture taken during school, so he's moving a lot, but you can see the chaos and fun.

We raked our fall leaves. I've got to admit, it's a TON easier when all the kids are older and can enjoy the task with me. Robert gave significantly meaningful help. I love that he loves to help.

This has been a fall of family campfires. We've been burning our old fruit trees. This particular fire is extra large because I'm trying to create enough coals for roasting hot dogs. That. was. fun.

A kindergarten science project: finding a way to put fall leaves back onto the tree. It was based on a cute little story about a baby fox's first fall. Matthew chose peanut butter. Success!

Here is one of Robert's 5th grade writing assignments: 25 things he's grateful for. "Living" and "food" didn't even make the top ten. And #21 is "time before Covid".

Something of a Sunday tradition. I like playing Parcheesi. Alice is still hiding in her room, so Matthew is the photographer from the fireplace bricks.

Cutey pants.

Gratitude

I'm grateful for voices of calm and reason and peace. President Nelson. President-elect Biden and Vice President-elect Harris.

I'm grateful to feel hopeful again due to recent vaccine news.

Middle School Dreams

Over the last couple weeks, my conversations with Alice have changed ever-so-slightly. The magnetic bond that compels my kids to hover around me and jostle for my attention no matter their mood has loosened on her just a smidge. It's harder to make her laugh out loud. It's easier to embarrass her. She speaks about things that are important to her, and for the first time ever, I feel myself holding back a little, choosing words that will keep her here talking to me instead of her getting bored or feeling misunderstood and quietly returning to her room. 

I used to be able to speak my mind without fear of losing her.

I'm not saying this is how it will always be. I'm just noticing a shift. My subconscious notices it, too. I've been having recurring dreams about middle school. Usually I'm back in middle school, but Alice and her friends are my classmates. I'm still an adult, but I have to figure out the schedule and homework and social situation all over again. It's stressful and exhausting. Alice, so far, has remained a neutral party in these dreams.

Alice's subtle shift toward greater independence doesn't worry me. I've been expecting this from her. She's rocking this whole teenage thing so far! Way better than I ever did in middle school. My behavior, however, is a little concerning....how can I be an effective mom if I'm suddenly scared to ruffle her feathers?! If I'm more concerned about possible misunderstanding/embarrassment than being my true self? That is middle school all over again.

That is Susan-itis. My ultimate character flaw. My blind spot and constant source of frustration. 

*siiiiiigh*

Warning: more growth ahead. Yippee.

Hello Neighbor

I'm pretty awkward at meeting new people as it is, and the Covid dimension makes it waaaaaaaaaay too easy for me to slip away and keep away and do what's easiest for me socially (i.e. nothing). So, when I finally got the guts together to run over and leave a welcome letter in my new neighbors' mailbox, it was a big step for me.

I made sure they weren't at home, first ;)

I'm kinda proud of myself. And kinda ashamed that this stuff is STILL so hard for me *eye roll*.

Anyway, I got an email back from my neighbor today. Shocker! They seem really nice, and normal, and nerdy. Similar interests and such. This could be really good for both families. The letter I wrote was the first time I had to describe/introduce our family to anyone in a long time, so I thought I'd post it here for posterity :) Alice read it over before I delivered it and said it was accurate and not embarrassing to anyone (as a 13-year-old, it's waaaaay too easy for me to embarrass her, so getting her stamp of approval is a BIG deal). We didn't have any recent family photos, so I had to give her one from last summer. We mostly look the same...

 

5 November 2020

 

Hello new(est) neighbors!

 

You’ve lived across the street for a couple months and we’re only just now saying hi. Many, many apologies. The first thing you should know about us is that we are a bunch of nerdy homebodies who have a hard time meeting new people and making conversation :) but I also want you to know that we are excited to have you here and we look forward to getting to know your family a little better with time.

 

We all LOVED your Halloween decorations. So fun!

 

Let me briefly introduce each family member.

 

My husband, Bobby (41), is a software engineer at NVIDIA. The company has a small site located nearby in the U of I research park, but he’s working from home these days. Bobby grew up in Idaho, went to college in Utah, and served a church mission for two years in Brazil before we married. He volunteers as a financial clerk at our church and enjoys running outdoors, hiking, Mediterranean food, and keeping up with the news.

 

I, Susan (41), am trained as a registered dietitian nutritionist, but I’ve been at home full-time with our kids for the last 13 years. I grew up in southern California and attended college in Utah and grad school in Illinois. I am passionate about local food production and try to squeeze in other interests like learning Spanish, acoustic guitar, and participating in nearby triathlons. I volunteer a few hours a week at Sola Gratia Farm and as a Sunday School teacher for children (3-11 years old) at our church.

 

Alice (13, 8^th grade) makes us look like good parents, but I swear she just came that way. She takes after her quiet, nerdy parents and spends a lot of time reading, listening to music, and writing sketch comedy. She loves to bake and is teaching herself to play ukulele.

 

Robert (10, 5^th grade) also makes us look good, but he was strongly influenced by Alice’s example. I swear the next two kids are very, very normal. Robert lives and breathes Minecraft right now. He only gets to play it a few hours a week, but he’s always planning, building, and thinking about “what if…”. He’s an avid reader, a watchful caretaker of his younger siblings, and a real stickler for the rules.

 

James (8, 2^nd grade) is a loud, outdoor kind of kid. He enjoys gardening, fishing, caring for the chickens (we have 6), digging enormous mud pits, building shelters/forts, designing fairy houses, and exploring all things creepy crawly. A boy after my own heart. He doesn’t say much, but I can tell from some of his questions that he’s thinking a lot about life and the natural world.

 

Matthew (6, Kindergarten) is shy and playful and eager to please. He loves to be with and around people all day, which is fortunate for a 4^th child during Covid-19 restrictions :) If you ever have a chance to meet him, he probably won’t tell you his real name. He’ll want you to call him “baby kitty.”

 

If you’d like to get a hold of us for any reason (James is especially fond of caring for others’ small pets while they are away), I am including our email addresses and phone numbers below. Texting is just fine.

  

Welcome to the neighborhood!

 

Elbows

 From Matthew at lunch, "Are elbows the driest part of our body?"

"Um, I don't know. Hmm."

"'Cuz you can't lick them," as he stretches his tongue out towards his elbow.

Right. Totally normal, this one.

Pride Cycling

I shared this story with my virtual cycling team, but I wanted to post it again here. Unresolved feelings. I'm struggling to feel grateful for the man's offer of help...

***************************

I've got a story for you:

I go for a long ride yesterday afternoon about 3pm. It's bright and hot so I leave all my extra lights and visibility gear at home. Whoops. The sun sets at 4:40. I'm 7-8 miles from home. I still have my little flashy safety lights on, but the tail light stays running out of battery (argh!!). I'm 2 miles from home on an isolated country road, a little worried about the traffic I'll soon encounter as I ride into town, riding as fast as I feel is safe, when I come up to a 4 way stop where a car is waiting by itself for way too long. I get suspicious and swerve wide to pass it. The driver steps out of his car!! He calls to me, "Did you know your taillight isn't working?"

I slow down and stop a good distance from him. Who is this middle-aged white guy talking to me about bike safety?! I instinctively look at his clothes and car for subtle police markings. Nothing. Just a guy.

I pretend his pronouncement is news to me. Why? I don't know. Nerves. I ramble something about batteries. He asks, "Would you like me to follow behind with my lights on at least until you get to street lamps or something?"

I want to stop talking to this guy. I think I'll be fine. But he's talking with some kind of authority and this appears really important to him and it's no skin off my back and it might actually be a really good idea. So, I thank him repeatedly. He says something like, "I ride, too, so I know how dangerous this can be." Then I take off. Hard. Harder than I've ever ridden before. I'm being followed by an experienced rider who's going to know exactly how fast I'm going, and who's going to be watching my back for two miles. I follow all the rules I know. I push and push way more then I normally would on this stretch so close to home.

I wave at him when I hit street lights and a bike lane. I don't know exactly when he peels off, but he's not following me anymore when I turn into my neighborhood. 

I go inside my house and collapse. I feel like I'm going to barf. I pushed waaaaay too hard. Out of pride. The guy wants to do something nice and I turn it into a final exam. Ugh.

But I changed my taillight batteries and recharged my flashy front light. And I'll be better about timing afternoon rides in the future. Not because I actually felt I was in that much danger, but because I don't want anyone else stopping to try and help.

Huh?!

I thought I was growing collard greens...until these little babies showed up:

 

Broccoli! Well, their leaves were delicious anyway :) So were the few carrots that made it this far.

I then ripped up everything that didn't endure our first hard frost. The garden is looking a little sparse now, but at least everything left can be eaten :) It's like a living fridge:

Broccoli greens

Parsley

Green curly kale

Lacinato kale

Flat red kale

Swiss Chard

Sweet pea greens

Cilantro

One teeny tiny head of lettuce

James helped me plant spring flower bulbs this week. I got 60-70 garlic cloves in the ground, too, and Bobby moved a huge pile of fallen leaves from our front yard right onto the garlic for winter mulching. 

It's nice to have almost half of the beds empty. I'm already thinking about what I'd like to plant where in the spring. The planning part is probably my favorite...catalogs, graph paper, calendars, and endless potential.

Halloween Fun

It was a Quarantine Halloween this year. One of my favorite Halloweens so far, actually. Maybe it's just because the kids are getting older?

James and Matthew measured our pumpkins, trying to figure out which one had the greatest volume. Bobby did all the calculations, but the boys did all the measuring. Robert's pumpkin was the tallest, Alice's pumpkin had the greatest circumference (112 cm!!), and Robert's pumpkin had the greatest volume by 30k cm3. 

Nerds. I love them.

Alice and Robert "helped" me make a brain-shaped Jell-O. Mostly they were laughing uncontrollably over very trivial things while I did all the hot work, but it was fun to see them drunk with laughter. Literally rolling on the floor. Over nothing. 

Alice did pull it together well enough to make a 7-layer dip for dinner. Very, very tasty, especially with a sour cream spider web on the top! Erin got the spider (black olive body, stringy ground beef legs).

Bobby suggested our edible grey/pink matter was just the right size for Alice's cranium. Mmmmm.

 

Carving pumpkins! Robert is in the background preparing to roast pumpkin seeds. This was his first time heading up the process, and he wasn't even sure if he'd like them. Turns out he does! A lot. The boy who doesn't like nuts or seeds will now consume small quantities of super salty pepitas.

Alice's pumpkin is not feeling well and Robert's pumpkin gets the brunt of it.

Matthew is scary flexible. Just sayin'. 

We "trick-or-treated" at a couple neighbors' homes...tables set up on their driveways with little baggies of treats laid out, no bag touching another, no person in sight. We did get a lot of canine love from a puppy trick-or-treating with his teenage owner, though. Dogs don't care about Covid.

After dinner and trick-or-treating, we did a short Yoga-Dance-Freeze Halloween video the kids loved from virtual P.E. this week and hunted in the backyard for glowing Easter eggs (meh, didn't work very well). Then I passed out their goody bags as we watched a couple Halloween episodes of Phineas and Ferb (thanks, Disney+!). 

Daylight Savings ending has been miserable, especially for Matthew. Everyone's tired all the time and everything constantly feels a little bit off. I hate it. I may have been eating treats to cope *ahem* Working on that.