Empty Nest

The robin chicks have gone! Two days ago, Robert noticed one of the chicks perched on the edge of the nest. Only two more chicks were in the nest, so one had already left! The boys watched this baby bird with much excitement, cheering it on, keeping their distance so the mom and dad robins (both nearby) could help as needed. I'll spare you the play-by-play, but it was awesome. I did see parallels for myself as a parent knowing my own four chicks will be leaving the nest at some point.

This afternoon, I noticed that the parents hadn't flown up to the nest for some time. We went out to check on the chicks and saw the last chick perched on the edge of the nest. The boys were SO encouraging and excited and careful. The watched one of the parent birds fly a short distance with the chick as it made its way into our neighbor's yard. The neighbor with the rat terrier. The boys got really, really concerned and tried to get the bird to go somewhere else. The neighbor's dog was inside the house, barking at them like crazy because they had approached the fence closer than usual. Our neighbor came out of the house to see why the boys were making such a fuss. They told him about the chick and begged him to keep the dog inside until the chick was somewhere safe. He agreed, much to the boys' relief.

And that was that. No more chicks. Robert took down the nest and we admired how well-crafted it was. What are those robin parents today? Relief? Worry? Helplessness? Pride?

At some point, our kids won't live in our house anymore, either. The things I did to support their growth and development won't be necessary anymore. Needs will be different. I can't even comprehend what that will feel like...I'm steeped in a moment where their lives and my life are inextricably intermingled.

Haircuts

K.C. requested a picture of the finished haircuts. You can check the pop-up thundershower post to see Robert's "before" hair. I love the expressions on their faces in this photo. James just tried to give Robert "bunny ears" a second ago and Robert is telling him that he actually made the "I love you" sign, not "bunny ears". Both are pretty amused at the notion.

Pop-up Thunderstorm

Pop-up thunderstorms can be pretty fun. It feels and looks like a regular sunny day, then you hear thunder and see dark clouds gathering just a little ways away. One minute later you're in a torrential downpour that floods the streets and pours in sheets off of your roof. The downspouts gush like fire hoses. One minute after that, the rain stops suddenly. It's warm and humid. The sun comes out. It's instantly HOT and humid. Water still gushing down the street. Steam floating off your roof.

I haven't been feeling my emotional best lately. This "wait and see" stuff regarding a potentially life-threatening virus can be pretty exhausting. I enjoyed this pop-up storm, though, because I was outside experiencing it with Robert and James. They were excited and amazed through it all. Like me. They have no idea how much strain I am under to manage the people, the house, and the yard for this family, but we understood each other perfectly for those 2 minutes. That was lovely. And I enjoyed the reminder that the natural world does not stop. The seasons continue on their course and my garden grows no matter how far I have to stand from people to keep them safe.

D&D

Some time ago, as my kids developed interests in dragons, battle, magic, magical creatures and such, I picked up a Dungeons & Dragons Starter Kit at the store. I only knew three things about the game: it involved fantasy creatures, players work cooperatively (not competitively), and there was a special set of dice. Oh, and I knew some people could really, really, really get into it. Obsessively. Usually teenage boys.

I tucked it into my closet, thinking it would make a good birthday or Christmas present eventually.

Enter Covid-19 and 2 months of stay-at-home directives...sigh...

I pulled it out and we started learning how to play it. The instructions were in a foreign language: ability checks, d20, saving throw, initiative order, strength modifier...oh man.

Thankfully, Erin had played it before and could help us. We instantly dubbed her our dungeon master and gave it a go. The first couple rounds were really, really rough: so much fighting and frustration as we learned how to work together as a team. Our last get-together, though, was a lot of fun.

We had snacks and fancy beverages.

We each had our OWN set of dice.

There was a map in front of us to help us imagine the scene.

Erin played music for ambiance: fight music for the battles, ominous music as we explored the goblins' lair.

That was awesome. Even James and Matthew got into it! We cheered and supported each other much better, trying to stay "in character" more. And now we all have enough experience points to level up! That sentence meant nothing to me a couple weeks ago :) Now we're all looking forward to the next part of the adventure.

Robin Family

I pruned tomato plants at the farm today. I pruned cucumber plants, too, and harvested bunches of oregano and parsley. I ripped out some mustard greens that had gone to flower. Then I did yoga for 10 minutes with all the farm crew. That's new this year...a mid-morning "stretch break". Painfully awkward. But I did my best to ignore that and pretend that this was totally normal and I could totally do it in my farm gear. Then I weeded. That was a fun farm morning.

After lunch with the kids, Robert really wanted me to hang out with him watching a family of robins that made their home right next to our back patio.

Robert, James, Matthew and I lined up our chairs to watch the birds. The parent birds were watching us, too, super cautious about all the attention their 4 voracious babies were getting. But if we kept our distance and stayed still the parents would come back and feed their babies again and again. Sometimes the parent birds would take a long time to come back. That's when I would get up from my chair and do something else in the yard for a minute. I moved hostas, mostly, in the flower bed just under the birds' nest. The boys would warn me when they saw a parent bird return to our yard with a mouth full of food. Then my shovel and I would move away to the viewing distance. The parent bird would wait until we were settled and still, then swoop in and feed the chicks. The boys LOVED this exchange. Robert got a video. I'll share it with you here, but you don't need to watch it for the birds. I watch it for the off-camera conversation and action. It's so, so, so much my life right now.

When the hosta work was done, the kids still wanted to watch the robins, so I asked Robert for some of his hair. Bunnies had been nibbling on my poppy plants this week and I remembered that human hair could sometimes repel them. He was feeling loved and happy, so he instantly said yes and even said I could take whatever amount I wanted. Huzzah! I brought the clippers outside and had him sit on a stool in the middle of our kiddie pool. I left him an inch on top and a quarter inch on the sides. Then I gave him a popsicle for his charitable contribution. That got James' attention and he sat on the stool immediately after. James requested a mohawk, which turned out pretty nicely since his hair was way, way, way longer than usual. Matthew had a hard time deciding if he would volunteer any hair. He detests haircuts. He weighed the pros and cons, measured the joy of a popsicle against his loathing of the scissors. Many distraught and heart-rending minutes later, I relieved him of the choice and put the haircutting stuff away. Two heads of hair is pretty good. I placed it strategically around my poppies.

Not a bad afternoon, either.

Memorial Day Walk

We borrowed a friend's dog for a Memorial Day walk at Crystal Lake Park. The kids are in LOVE with little Ruby.

Some parts of the walk were less fun than others, but we got through it:

Having Ruby along kept the walk fun all 1.5 miles. Matthew still got too tired to go any further at 1.3 miles (that's his usual walk limit) but the other kids' spirits remained high until the end. She's a sweet dog! Now the kids are asking to borrow her every day.

Pictures and Update

Just a few pictures from recently...

Robert is very excited here to be looking through, sorting, and selecting his favorite coin specimens from all 500 pennies he had just scored from the bank. He loves the idea of stumbling upon a super rare coin, but he also just loves having a collection of money. He's lucky to have a Grandpa mentor in this effort.

Here's my typical quarantine look: glasses, haven't showered in who knows how long, surrounded by a gaggle of kids who follow me from room to room and outside. We are often within arm's length of one or more screens (there's a kindle in Alice's hands, and my phone in Matthew's hands taking this photo)...school, entertainment, information, communication with others...screens just seem more necessary these days.

Matthew's selfies crack me up. He needs a haircut pretty badly. All of the boys do. They hate haircuts. I usually just pick a day and muscle my way through it, but I have no oomph to put myself through that right now. Part of my lukewarm enthusiasm is because the task is difficult, it's a horrible mess to clean up (the room, the equipment, baths/showers for everyone) and it's a completely unappreciated act by 3 out of the 4 guys I trim. The rest of the reluctance stems from the fact that we're not really seeing anyone anymore. Taking their shaggy heads out in public used to embarrass me, like I was a neglectful mother. I imagined all the things other people might think about me or my family when they saw the boys' hair hanging over the tops of their ears. It's one thing to grow your hair out a little longer on purpose. Plenty of kids do that. But that's not what this looks like. Siiiiiiiiiiiigh. I've got issues, I know it. Anyway, without that self-induced social pressure, there's less motivation to make the cut.

The other day, Alice and Matthew were play fighting/wrestling against Robert. Matthew LOVES this kind of play because the older kids 1) never overdo it and 2) always let him be the strongest and fastest. In the game, Robert did something that triggered an attack from Alice and Matthew. Alice said something like, "C'mon, Matthew. Let's give him his punishment!" Matthew replied, "You mean his PUNCH-isment!" and he proceeded to pummel Robert repeatedly with his fists, which didn't hurt, and which everyone found hilarious. Cuteness is one of this kid's superpowers.

James built another fort in the front room. One right after the other! This morning, he taped and cut a couple of cardboard boxes into a train with three compartments. He also spent a good amount of time outside adventuring with Matthew, whacking a tree with a stick (a tree that supposedly hurt him yesterday when his whacking stick bounced back and scratched his arm), and using sticky mud from the garden to create statues and connect real garden hoses. I tell you, this kid cannot survive on inside alone. Thank goodness our isolation is happening in the spring and summer!

Alice has joined me this week on a couple morning walks. Friends and friendshipping are pretty tough for her right now. She says none of her CMS friends have communicated much with her since the quarantine. She's feeling like maybe she wasn't as important in their lives as they were in hers. Middle school is no picnic, wherever you go. Ugh. She definitely wants to go back to CMS for eighth grade, though. In other news, she's started writing sketch comedy. She's a big fan of Studio C these days and is often writing down funny ideas in her notebook and reading her drafts out loud to us. She decided to make it one of her personal goals to work on this year. Alice has also started watching Downtown Abbey with me and Erin. She saw the episode where Thomas intentionally gets himself shot in the hand in order to get an honorable release from the military in WWI. She was physically and mentally disturbed by that. She had a hard time falling asleep and doesn't want to watch any more of the show for a while. This is what I have yet to figure out about Alice: a guy getting shot in the hand is too much, but she didn't bat an eyelash at the vengeful maid who caused a woman to slip on a bar of soap, the miscarriage of a baby, or the sudden death of a young man by heart attack or stroke. What about all the other guys in the trench getting shot at and KILLED?! Not a big deal. But the hand thing *shudder*. I don't get it. Yet. Maybe she can explain it to me in a few years :)

We've had our share of meltdowns. We're together so often and so long that I'm beginning to lose compassion for the kids' freakouts. It's the same handful of offenses happening over and over and over again in slightly different forms. That's exhausting. And kinda numbing in a dangerous way. I'm slowly navigating them one by one, learning from each one, but I'm not out of the woods yet.

Even a 10-year-old can have a tantrum.

I wake up every morning wondering, "What day is it?" then quickly remember that it doesn't really matter except on farm days. And even then, it's only a few hours in the morning. The whole day lies before me punctuated only by meals and the kids' appointments at Erin's house. Every day is loosely structured, but it's not easy, and it's certainly not empty. It's hard to point a finger at exactly what happened any one day. They all feel the same. No end in sight.

I'm growing a liiiiiiiiittle bit weary.

Matthew and Alice are done with school. Robert and James have a week or so left, but their teachers aren't giving new assignments. I don't get it. It's change enough, though, that I can take down all the school things we had set up. I spent some time today transitioning the house back to the way it was before. That felt good :)

Drunk

The kids recently acquired a mother lode of juice boxes from the school lunch program. We don't often drink juice at our house. It's kind of a "special occasion" drink. It's popular with the school lunch program, though, because it counts as a fruit, it's fantastically shelf-stable, and it provides exactly the right amount of Vitamin C (one of the few nutrients they have to monitor and report on to get federal funding). I totally understand their reasoning. It makes sense! But still, my kids aren't used to it.

When we received the juice boxes (10 per child!! That's 40 fl oz), I gave each child control over their own stash. I'm a pretty diligent food cop, but this wasn't something I wanted to monitor for them. And I was curious to see how they would handle it.

The very next day, James challenges Matthew to a drinking contest.

They have a contest to see who can drink four juice boxes the fastest. This is AFTER James has already consumed several boxes of juice throughout the morning.

James slurps down his first two boxes real fast, then takes a "break" to let Matthew catch up a little. He tells me, feeling magnanimous, "I want him to feel like he's doing a good job. Like he might win."

Matthew is not a big eater. Never has been. He finishes his first box of juice and sighs, "This is hard." James loudly tries to encourage him. Robert overhears the friendly banter and comes over to investigate. A contest? With JUICE?! He's totally in. He pulls out four juice boxes of his own and downs all four in a row as James desperately tries to beat him. Robert walks away beaming. Victory! James slinks off his chair, gets a blanket, and curls up on the couch. For an hour. I thought he was sad about losing, so I asked him about it. He was actually pretty excited for Robert. That was a truly astonishing win and James and Matthew were both impressed. No, James says he's lying on the couch because his tummy feels crummy. Matthew is doing the same thing on the other couch. Both have clearly hit their drinking limit.

James then swears off apple juice for the rest of his life.

Chicken Bits

I worked at the farm this morning. I got the "special" job of adding soil amendments just before the tractor mixed and formed the soil into a raised bed complete with drip tape and a beautiful black plastic mulch to keep the weeds down. My job consisted of lugging 15 pounds of composted, dried and granulated chicken bits (mostly manure, feather meal, and bone meal) down each row, grabbing handfuls of it at a time, and chucking it into the wind. Repeated 29 times until my arms ached, my knees were bruised from repeated whacks with the heavy bucket, and I was covered in a fine layer of composted chicken bits.

*ugh*

It's not the most glorious of farming duties, but I did it. And I did it well! And now I know more about soil fertility and what it takes to grow great tomatoes :) I also heard from the other farm hands that spraying fish emulsion is a thousand times stinkier than what I did today. Noted! Tim was the DJ for the morning, so I got to do my work listening to jazz, smooth jazz, and twangy gospel music. Last week, we mostly listened to John Williams movie scores and opera. The time before that, it was soft rock. And the first time I ever worked with Tim and his music, it was Simon and Garfunkel.

I also learned that one of my co-workers (who has been farming for over a decade) once slept a summer in a farm storage shed on the bottom rack of a shelf just below the sacks of not-so-composted chicken manure. On purpose. Repeatedly. Like, that was literally where he slept every night. And now when he gets a whiff of composted chicken bits, it takes him right back to those days.

Facial Hair

I grew a social distancing beard when I started to work from home, mostly because I was too lazy to shave. It got to be a bit much so I shaved, but you can enjoy the pictures.  A few months ago we also played around with an AI that can age you and add facial hair.  It is interesting to see how well it did. Another time we went on vacation for over a week and I forgot my razor so I grew some hair then too.  You can see me with all kinds of facial hair now.  The kids' reactions to them are great.

A couple picts

The boys invented a new game for my bed. It's kinda like "King of the Mountain", but with a pause button that only Matthew gets to control. Everyone likes this game.

The headstone and grave site for "Tweet": Tweet, R.I.P (from Alice and James), "I hope you have a nice journey to the afterlife" (from Matthew). The very next day, James found another dead bird on our property. We think it fell victim to our shiny front windows. It is now buried next to "Tweet."

James, our resident fort master, has created a cozy space for Matthew and himself in the front room. In this photo, Matthew is doing some of his "schoolwork" on the tablet while James looks on.

School Lunch

Our school district provides free breakfast and lunch to all students every school day. This hasn't changed with the stay-at-home order. Anyone can drive up to the school during specific hours and pick up meals for any number of kids in their household. We didn't participate at first, but lately we've been going more often. It's a nice walk to and from the school. The kids mostly want it for the "breakfast" parts (sugar cereal, frudel, pop tart, french toast sticks, chocolate chip muffin) and the chocolate milk and the juice. No surprise there! I mostly like it because it makes lunch a ton easier on me, even if I'm swapping out the school's veggies and fruits for things the kids like better. Nothing gets wasted. If they don't eat it as part of their lunch or breakfast, I cook with it or serve it another way.

Anyway, the walk to get lunch is one of my favorite parts of our new routine. We get to be outside whatever the weather, pick up a surprise, and enjoy it together at home.

James is a very slow walker, while Matthew trots along beside me without a problem. When we bike, James is constantly darting ahead and waiting for us, excited for "hills" and intersections while Matthew is the one stopping and swerving and making it take foreeeeeeeeeeeever. Alice is a lovely walking companion. Her conversation is introspective, mature, inquisitive, and funny. She notices things and it's delightful to hear her perspective on them. Robert has yet to join us on these trips. The kid just can't abide the thought of hiking/walking/biking. He'll do it when forced, and actually enjoy himself most of the time, but he doesn't ever volunteer.

Here are Matthew and James on their bikes during one of these trips:

Note James way up ahead smiling at the top of the "hill" and Matthew down here, completely off his bike for some reason. Why? WHY?!

Fern Fun

The kids were playing outside when Matthew stepped on something that wounded him. Usually, Matthew would cry for me to come, but he didn't get a chance. James swooped him up in his arms and carried him all the way around the garden and put him down in a fancy chair. Matthew was really worried because there was a little flap of skin that was loose. No blood, thankfully, or he would have come unglued! James proclaimed that he would be Matthew's servant as long as he was hurt this time. He brought him soft pillows, a blanket, and a crown of ferns:

Then he brought him his favorite chicken. These kids are kinda weird.

It got weirder. Robert made a fern necklace for everyone's favorite chicken, Pecky Coconut:

That's okay, though. All this weirdness was worth it because Matthew's foot recovered nicely in about 10 minutes. He was soon running crazy again. Who knows how long he would have been limping around feeling sorry for himself if I had been the one to care for him :) Yay for brothers!

Late Night

I'm staying up late tonight. Very, very late. Why? Because the house is quiet and no one needs me, nor will anyone interrupt me...and my Sims need 20 more minutes to reach a significant milestone. Then I will go to bed. I'll have weird dreams, then wake up at 5:30am to a house still quiet until I hear rustling and conversation from James and Matthew's room. I'll snuggle deeper into my covers hoping they will start an imaginary game or look at books together in the living room while I steal a few more moments of rest. They will eventually come into my room asking for food. And since it's my morning with the kids, I'll get out of bed to arrange breakfast. What will it be? How about the chocolate chocolate chip scones Alice made this afternoon? Yum!

Then we begin chores...or avoid them...depending on who we are individually ;)

Tomorrow was going to be my first triathlon race of the season.

I'm sad about missing it.

Just another day in quarantine...

We were waiting out in front of our house this morning (Alice, James, Matthew and me) for Matthew's preschool teachers to make a scheduled drive-by-hello visit. Robert was inside on a Zoom call with his 4th grade class. Matthew's teachers were apparently running a little late, so the boys got into some imaginary game about space creatures and I started pulling weeds from among the irises. Alice came over to me, squatted down, and started pulling weeds, too. She observed, "I noticed that whenever you're outside pulling weeds, and I'm outside, then I start pulling weeds, too."

"Why do you think that is? Do you love pulling weeds as much as I do?"

"I think it's because I like spending time with you."

I kinda knew that would be her answer, but I kinda wanted/needed to hear it from her.

When my kids grow up a little more, who will tell me every day in their own way that they love me and that I'm the most important person in their life? I sense a significant blow to my ego coming soon.

Seconds later, James comes running over, distressed, "Mom! I just stepped on a baby bird!" We go have a look and it is indeed a young bird that had died a couple days ago and been flattened on the sidewalk in front of our house. Alice asked if we could bury it. That, of course, quickly snowballed into a graveside service (Matthew actually asked if we could "do a sacrimony or something") for "Tweet", now lovingly laid to rest with a beautiful, poetic headstone, and a "rest in peace" song created and performed by James. There was a surprisingly heartfelt and earnest prayer offered by James to Heavenly Father thanking Him for letting us find this baby bird and give it a good burial. James asked that the bird be carried swiftly to God in love. Where does he hear that kind of language? Did he invent that image on his own? Did he take it from something we had read in the scriptures together? This boy is full of surprises.

Our visit with Matthew's teachers was brief, but sweet. I'm going to miss them. They were remembering him as a tiny 3-year-old his first semester at Wee Disciples Preschool. I silently retreated for a moment into my mind, trying to remember a time before Covid-19. It felt like a lifetime ago. Then I allowed myself to peek towards the next school year...will Matthew have a kindergarten experience like his siblings? Or will Bobby and I get to be his teachers for another year?

Our governor, J.B. Pritzker, laid out a 5-phase framework for re-opening Illinois. It's called "Restore Illinois: A Public Health Approach To Safely Reopen Our State." We are currently in Phase 2. Schools won't reopen until Phase 4, which happens when the following criteria are met:

This data will be tracked from the time a region enters Phase 3, onwards.

• At or under a 20 percent positivity rate [e.g. </=20% of all people tested in Illinois for Covid-19, both clinically and randomly, will test positive for the presence of the virus] and increasing no more than 10 percentage points over a 14-day period, AND 
• No overall increase (i.e. stability or decrease) in hospital admissions for COVID-19-like illness for 28 days, AND
• Available surge capacity of at least 14 percent of ICU beds, medical and surgical beds, and ventilators

Testing: Testing available in region regardless of symptoms or risk factors

Tracing: Begin contact tracing and monitoring within 24 hours of diagnosis for more than 90% of cases in region 

As much as I want to hope for "normal" life returning soon, today was Illinois' highest coronavirus-related death count to date. I don't see a way my kids could be going back to school before August 2021. No gym. No church. No large public events (parades, triathlon races, graduations, concerts). Will playgrounds reopen? Public pools? How can they? Kids can't seem to keep 6 feet from each other. Ever. I am finally getting the message that this is going to be a loooooong haul, and it's going to be me and Bobby and our kids at home for 18 more months.

I have two kinds of feelings as I consider this possibility:

1. Sorrow. Can Bobby and Erin and I meet all of the kids' needs? Can we even meet all of our OWN needs? What kinds of experiences are my kids missing? I miss being with my friends. I miss family vacations. I miss the gym, of all weird things to miss. What will my kids remember about this time in their lives? What will I remember? The novelty has worn off. We are counting down the days until school gets out, but then...but then...what? A summer where we can't go anywhere or do anything non-essential. What does that look like?!?!

2. Relief. There are some things I'm coming to enjoy and appreciate about this time. The kids have time for developing their interests in-depth. We all have time for trying new things. I get to see their personalities again and have shared memories again...that was a lot harder when they spent most of their time/energy at school. The last few weeks of church-at-home have been really, really sweet. For the first time in my whole life, last Sunday, the Sabbath felt like a delight. I don't miss the social obligations and responsibilities of a demanding calling. At home, it's easier for me to focus on the doctrine and spirituality of my faith instead of the administrative to-do's.

Projects

James planned out and created about 8 little pillows over the last few days. He cut the fabric, sewed the edges (by hand or with my sewing machine), stuffed them, and sealed them up. He loves them! And he's planning to donate them to people in need. I don't know exactly how the gift will be received, but I will donate them all the same.

James' science project this week was to create a model of a chicken coop out of things he had on-hand at home. He's spent several hours learning how to safely use a hot glue gun and bring his dream to life. I took this picture early on in the process. It looks nothing like this now.

Robert was shocked and excited to find this mutant dandelion in our backyard. He had to show everyone, then he asked for my phone and had Alice take a picture of him with it.

This is another of Robert's recent projects: a 20-gallon terrarium that will soon house a crested gecko. He researched a variety of pets that would meet his specific requirements, studied deeply about the needs of a crested gecko, had Bobby help him price out everything, and asked me to order all the specific materials. Even though he had saved enough to cover all the expenses, he's trading screen time and doing extra chores to rebuild his savings (he came programmed this way, I promise). This is all the hardware that has arrived so far. By next week, he should have the habitat well-furnished and ready for an animal to move in.

Here's a different view of my new garden space from our back patio. It takes up half of the backyard. Bobby was initially concerned that there would be much less space for the kids to play in. I see his point. I also see them playing in, around, and through my the garden every second I'm out there in it. Robert offers to help with the digging bits. James is eager to help with the planting bits. Alice is watching her seedlings closely. Matthew just asks, "Why do you spend so much time in the garden, Mom?" When the blueberries are ripe, I don't think he'll be asking that anymore.

Garden in May

Here's a quick video scan of what my new garden looked like this week. It's almost completely planted, but the plants are so small that you only see dirt from this distance. There are a couple new beds along the fence, too. I think it would be fun to take a quick video scan of my garden each month this summer to map its development.

Highlights this month: no weeds, clearly-defined beds and paths, and it's just chock full of potential.

Fishing

I've taken the kids fishing a couple times this spring. James is still the most enthusiastic participant, and he pretty much begs every day until I can find a day/time that actually works for us. It's not that we've got a lot going on...thanks, Covid-19...but some days need to be gardening days, some days the kids take FOREVER to do their school work, some days there are scheduled Zoom meetings for one or more kids in the afternoon, etc. And as much as I enjoy fishing, I don't get to do it much while the boys are fishing with me. I set up the poles, bait hooks, swap hooks/bait as needed, and take fish off the line. It's a full-time job. Sometimes I don't feel like doing that.

On one of our sanity walks the other day, James found an enormous night crawler in the street. Rains the day before had flushed it out of its home and it didn't look to be in very good shape. James scooped up the worm and immediately ran home to put it in his newly-created "bait jar" in the fridge. He couldn't wait to fish with it! He asked several times a day. He talked about the giant large-mouthed bass he was going to catch with it. He smiled and rubbed his hands together thinking about how fun it would be to reel in that giant bass caught with his giant rescued worm.

The day finally came and we took his worms fishing. He wanted to fish with the big one first off! I bait the hook, cast it out there, and handed it over to him. He waited. He felt a good tug, reeled in the line, and found an empty hook. The disappointment was too much. He broke down and sobbed. I held him in a big hug as he buried his face into my jacket and mourned the loss of his favorite worm of all time. I was surprised by his reaction. I knew he wanted this to work, but I had somehow missed HOW important this worm was to him. A minute later, he got back to fishing. He and Robert caught 4 fish total and left the dock satisfied. I wish I had taken a picture or two. This was the first time we brought a bucket to put the fish into. This lake is all catch-and-release, but we liked watching them swim around in our bucket for a bit. It certainly kept Matthew's attention longer than regular fishing would have!