Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has felt rather hard.  The terrible twos are in full swing with Robert.  Compound this with some jealousy of the attention James is getting and he is not a happy camper.  He is getting better though.  Less full on meltdowns then before, but it is still very stressful.  Other then that Christmas was actually very good.

Christmas-eve was more then piano playing and a tug-o-war, but that was part of it, and it was a lot of fun.  We also had a shepherd's feast, read from the Bible (with the kids acting it out) and had some fun treats.  CHristmas itself was rather laid back.  We opened presents, the kids were very happy with what they got.  We watched a movie or two and then went to my brother's house for dinner.

3-month-old comparison

Why do I feel compelled to compare my three children's looks at every age? I think it's my scientist brain trying to predict James' future personality and looks based on the two data points I already have. These exercises are unsatisfying, however, because I'm coming to realize that James is not somewhere in the known spectrum between Alice and Robert. He is a NEW entity altogether. There's no knowing what kinds of kinks and quirks our dear James-y is going to throw into the mix. Unsettling.

I love his smiles and his subdued, throaty laugh. I just wish I knew more about him. I wish I could play with him more. He's just not at a playing age yet. The most common "happy" look he gives is simply not crying. He is taking more interest in his siblings, though. They can get him to smile and coo. 

We have worked hard this last week to give Robert our best attention and time. It appears to be paying off. With every new development in James, we've had to adjust other things at home. Buddy has had a hard time with that. I can't just say, "No, Buddy, I'm too tired." every time I feel like it. I've had to push my own limits a bit more and scrape the bottom of the barrel to find a little more patience and unselfishness. No fun in the moment, but it pays off overall, creating a more patient and unselfish Buddy. I've seen a change this last week, anyway: fewer meltdowns, a few more instances of talking it out.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has felt rather long.  Christmas is getting very close and lots is happening with that.  One of the things that we have been doing for christmas is we have an Advent Calendar.  Each day the kids open a bag and read something new that we get to do that day.  We have done video calls with various family, set up the Christmas tree, and we also had a Dance Party one day.

Recently Alice and Susan had a Girls Night out.  They went to the mall at just the right time because the mall was having a family night and they got to do all kinds of fun things.  So yesterday Robert and I went out to lunch together to offset this.  He wanted to go to a restaurant with "soda, I like soda"  So we went to a fast food place.  He got chicken nuggets, french fries and soda (root beer).  He spent a long time sitting there eating his food, looking at everyone that came in, and looking at the various TVs in the place.  Afterwards we did some surprise Christmas shopping.  We went to go get a movie for our family, he wanted the "silly pirate movie".  So we got it, and another movie too, because Alice tends to have other tastes in movies.  Well he was really excited about the movie, but I told him that we wanted to keep it a secret.  This was really hard on him, because he was so excited about it. He held it the entire way home, and when we got home he didn't want to get out of the car. He asked me if he could tell everyone in a quiet voice.  I finally relented and let him tell everyone.  This made him really happy, and got him out of the car.  Happily he completely forgot about the other movie so there is still a surprise.

We recently resurrected this video of alice as a baby laughing at a ceiling fan.



We tried to replicate it with James, but to no luck. He is very interested in the fan, but no laughs from the boy yet.



We also got our first snow this week.  Robert and Alice could not wait to get out into it and play.  Robert is a very outdoors kind of kid, and has been going a bit crazy without much outside play.

What to say?

It's been a while since I posted. I feel like I need to talk/think about something but I can't put my finger on it. A million little things have happened since James' 2-month check-up. I could play "catch up." Those aren't the most satisfying blog posts to write (or to read) so I'll spare you the frenzy. Since this is the moment I want to blog, then perhaps I'll fill you in on what's happening here at this moment...

James is asleep on the guest bed. I was back there making copies of a very excellent Christmas Advent program/binder my sister's friend put together for her. Robert was coloring and sharpening pencils to nubs. I just lay James down propped up on a pillow so he could watch us. Ten minutes later, without a fuss or whimper, he just fell asleep. Heidi didn't see James' mellow side while she was here last week. He was sick. We were all sick in sequence. She got the impression that he had to be in constant motion. He hasn't been like that since she left ;)

Robert is having quiet time in the bathroom. Yes, I know, it's a terrible idea. It didn't start out that way, I promise. He had to use the bathroom right before quiet time. I went with him and "assisted" with the wiping and such. Then he started his "playful avoidance with undercurrents of angry frustration" routine. You know, refusing to make choices, refusing to speak at all, just screaming and running with a half-laugh? That's the kind of behavior that yanks my "angry mama" lever to the max so I left before I got mad, telling him I'd be happy to come back when he was ready to wash his hands or put clothes on. Usually, he hates being alone, so that strategy works for both of us (yes, I've used it several times already). But this time, he started some imaginary game in the bathtub with bad guys and singing and lots of action. I'm kinda okay with that. I could wrestle him screaming into his room and leave him there until he cries himself to sleep, or I could leave him in the bathroom and enjoy this brief quiet time to myself (I'm lucky he doesn't play in the toilet like some 3-year-olds I know ;) ). James will only sleep for so long, after all. Ahhhhh, the choices that must be navigated by a mother of more than one kid. I'll confess that I was jealous of Heidi several times during her visit. She had only one kid to wrangle/manage/cajole/comfort/snuggle/attend to, and could do it with any amount of energy that she wanted to dish out. There was no fighting over laps and portions. No time outs for pestering. There are things I love about having three kids, and there are things I appreciate about having one at a time :)

Three squirrels are crawling all over my chicken pen looking for a way in. I let the ladies out to roam this morning and the squirrels wasted no time getting into the girls' food. I hate squirrels. I have to leave the pen open while the chickens are free-ranging so they can get back in to lay eggs or eat or drink as desired. So, if I want the girls to free-range, I have to feed the neighborhood squirrels, too. Well, at least until I get that chicken chunnel thing going. The chickens have almost stopped laying eggs altogether. I've collected two eggs over the last three days. If this were the peak of spring, I'd have collected twelve in the same amount of time. Artificial light should help with that, but can I manage that without running an extension cord across my backyard?

Well, James has woken up to eat again. Robert opened the bathroom door briefly and then closed it again after I asked him if he was ready to put on some clothes. I think I'll watch these squirrels while I nurse and pray they give up their searching before they discover that little gap in the pen door.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has been rather long and stressful. I was out of town at a conference all week. So Susan had the kids for a week. She wasn't totally alone. Her sister visited while I was away. This helped out but everyone got sick at some point during the week. Even now James, Robert, and Susan all have colds. :-(

Hopefully they start to feel better soon.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

I know it has been a while. Life has been very busy lately. I know I say it a lot but it is true. I have had lots of new responsibilities at work. Most of which I have not asked for.

Life is slowly getting to a new normal at home. James is sleeping longer at night. Robert is starting to adjust better too. Alice is also doing better.

2 month check up

James is 15.5 pounds. That's the average weight of a boy twice his age, though Robert weighed 17 lbs 6 oz at this point. He's outgrown most of his 3-6 month clothes simply because of shoulder breadth. I can no longer maneuver his arms into the sleeve holes. James is still above the 97th percentile for weight, but I can't believe he only grew 1/4 of an inch in a month...I should have asked for a retake.

He's sleeping longer most nights, giving me a 4-5 hour chunk right at the beginning. That's great when he goes to bed at 9 pm, and a little annoying (though still greatly appreciated) when he goes to bed at 7 pm. I can *almost* count on it these days as long as I don't eat anything offensive to his gut. Bobby and I have actually had time to talk to each other with no kids in the room or in my arms. I've missed that.

Last night, James actually slept from 10:30 pm to 8:30 am with only a 2-minute snack at 5:00 am.  Miracle! I was thrilled and a little troubled at the same time. No, I didn't think he was dead, like I have for my first two. This time, the twinge of uneasiness stemmed from the thought that I didn't have sleep deprivation to blame for how I felt waking up this morning. I was still tired. I still had a long day of balancing 2-year-old needs with other needs of family and home. I was a bit disappointed that a good night's sleep didn't make all my other troubles disappear. Ha ha ha! I'm in a much better mood about it all, though, which is almost as good as making them disappear :)

James is starting to condense his daytime naps, too. Almost every day this week, he's slept an hour or so during Robert's quiet time. Ahhhhh, sweet peace and personal time (even if I'm holding him asleep and typing blog entries one-handed...like now). Between the regular sleep, the personal time, and real conversation with Bobby, it's beginning to feel a little more sane at my house. I'm finally feeling some of the relief that I knew would eventually come with James growing up.

James has recently discovered his fists and started sucking on them. He's also developed a sweet social smile that delights me to no end. It's funny, actually. When I see him smile at me, I still can't believe it's entirely on purpose, and yet it's clearly in response to something I'm doing at that moment. Most of me loves to see this development, and yet there's a teeny part of me deep down inside that knows developments like these lead to other changes. Change (i.e James growing up) is welcome and unsettling at the same time. Unsettling because I don't know him yet, not because I don't want it to happen.

And this is that sweet, sweet smile:

I thought we looked kinda familiar...

Now that we're a family of five, I've started noticing other families that kinda "look" like us: mom, dad, daughter, son, and son.

Thumbkin's family. Robert has declared himself Pinky. James is Thumbkin, Alice is pointer, Daddy is tall man, and I'm ring man.

Melissa and Doug Family Doll Set. We own this, though the baby hasn't been seen for some time.

This is a page from Hop on Pop, one of Buddy's favorite books.

The Darling family, of course :)

The Incredibles. Yup, we have super powers.

Phineas and Ferb. The boys are constantly doing strange and dangerous things and the older sister is always trying to tell on them. Yup, that already sounds TOO familiar.

Thoughts on a Blessing

In the LDS Church, infants are given a name and a blessing. Here's one of the official descriptions of that priesthood ordinance (taken from here):

Naming and Blessing Children

“Every member of the church of Christ having children is to bring them unto the elders before the church, who are to lay their hands upon them in the name of Jesus Christ, and bless them in his name” (Doctrine and Covenants 20:70).

When blessing a baby, men who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood gather in a circle and hold the baby in their hands. The person who gives the blessing:

• 1. Addresses Heavenly Father.
  
• 2. States that the blessing is given by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood.
  
• 3. Gives the child a name.
  
• 4. Gives a priesthood blessing as the Spirit directs.
  
• 5. Closes in the name of Jesus Christ. 

Our baby James received his name and a blessing this Thanksgiving weekend. Both sets of grandparents had driven across the country to be present for the holiday and the blessing, and I loved having so much family around for so long. My mom made James' blessing outfit while she was here. Darling, isn't he?

Bobby gave James the blessing, as he did for Alice and Robert. I can only imagine the pressure one feels to give his own child a blessing from God as directed by the Spirit. I, personally, would want to cram all kinds of special gifts and blessings into that occasion. I would plan the list of blessings and work on the eloquent wording for weeks. Bobby doesn't suffer from the same greediness. He's significantly more humble than I am :) James' blessing, like the blessings for Alice and Robert, was short, sweet, and completely clear. I was struck by how all my wishes and concerns for James' future were encompassed in one simple phrase that Bobby used, "I bless you to be a leader." That pretty much says it all. That's really what I want for each of my children. I want them to know the truth and have the confidence in themselves to do the right thing no matter what their friends might say. I want them to live responsibly. I want them to be respected and trusted and capable. A leader knows how to serve the people he/she leads. A leader understands compromise and empathy. All of these characteristics will work together towards a happier life. And I really want my children to be happy :)

Bobby also blessed James with a strong testimony. Testimonies all start with the same foundation, but they grow in many different ways and come in many different flavors. Spiritual matters don't always come as easily to me as they do to Bobby. A testimony matures throughout one's life. For example, teaching the gospel out loud to my children has already refined my testimony a hundredfold. I look forward to helping James' testimony grow.