Triplets

We attended Alice's very informal Kindergarten "graduation" this afternoon. Buddy, James, and I were actually 2 minutes late and missed the whole "program": the kids singing "Purple Soup." That was okay. I wasn't even sure if I would go at all. Alice has several friends, only two of them are in this photo. They're called the "triplets" because they all have sandy blond hair and blue eyes and they're all the same height. Crazy.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

Well this week I am writing while I am on the road in California. I have a conference that starts Monday morning so instead of flying out Sunday, I thought it would be better to fly out Saturday and spend some time with my brother who is in the bay area.

We went out to San Francisco and had pizza.  We also went to an antique arcade game museum. It was lots of fun. Sorry I cannot embed the movies the blogger android app doesn't support that but here are the links.

Lombard street
Shooting Game
Atari Game

Other than that things have not been too bad. We are all very busy with work and home life.

Undercover

"Secret Agent Book"

It's empty.

I guess there's no secret...or it's written in invisible ink.

Hmmmmmm.

A Little More of James

Here's a video of Bobby playing with James. I love to hear them laugh together:

And here's a clip taken soon after that. James has a funny habit of leaning back into anything soft you put behind him. Watch how he feels the pillow on one side, then checks to see if it's on the other side before plopping himself right into it. Cracks me up. And then he lounges around and wants to play that way. Such an easy-going kind of guy:

One of those good days

Most days with my kids are so-so. We have a little fun, they have a little fighting, they push my buttons, I enforce certain limits, and we're all pretty exhausted by the end of the day. That's normal. That's a good day's work for me.

Some days are absolutely abysmal. Those days have a lot of screaming, a string of power struggles, and my emotional energy hits rock bottom...when I am working hard to remain civil and yet I still must take care of everyone and everything in my stewardship. Those are hard days. By 4pm, I am desperate for someone to magically perceive my stress and do the rest for me. Just finish out my day, please, 'cuz I need to go to bed.

And then there are the reaaaally good days. Those days still meet their button-pushing and limit-enforcing quotas, and we still go to bed exhausted, but there's just something else about them that makes the usual rigamarole completely forgettable. And if you take pictures of that "something else", then that's all you'll remember :) Like this. My friend and I took the kids to "Touch-A-Truck Day":

The firefighter asked Robert if he wanted a helmet, and Robert said yes. The firefighter proceeded to hand him a red fire helmet until Buddy protested, pointing to the pink hats. The firefighter paused, looked at me with a half smile and said, "Hey, well, my nephew likes pink, too."

If you click on this picture to see it larger, you can get a peek at two of James' teeth.

Robert saw the pink cement mixer from across the park and decided that's where we would go next.

Running up and down the tow truck rampy thingy.

"How do you move the scoopy thingy on this front loader?"

"Oh, right here!"

Sitting in the pink cement truck cab.

Gigantic bounce house!

I've been trying to "hear" Buddy's love language lately. He's changing so rapidly. There was a streak of days (again?) when I felt like everything I did with him was the exact opposite of helpful. It was one screaming tantrum and power struggle after another. Love and Logic teaches that a child must feel genuinely loved in order for discipline to matter. If I could only figure out what motivated Robert to do what he did, then we could start speaking the same language. I could show him that I love him in his own language. 

I prayed for help, which meant I was really desperate (why do I wait so long to ask for help?! Sheesh), and watched him closely and thought and thought and thought about it. I finally realized that there were two things Robert excelled in and enjoyed doing: 1) being silly, and 2) competing. So, the last couple of days, I've tried to be a little more silly and a little more competitive. When I could see his mood turning defiant or dark in response to how I worded something, I changed my tone and threw something silly in there. So far, a few times, his furrowed brow has turned to a quizzical look, then a smile, and finally compliance. Even reverence during prayers has improved since Bobby and I "competed" for Buddy to choose us as a praying partner. Is "being silly" a love language? It must be for Buddy. Jokes and silly answers to questions used to drive Alice to tears at this age. We had to be completely honest with her and nothing else. Buddy, though, seems to understand fiction better. He thrives on it...silly names for things, absurd answers to mundane questions (especially if he already knows the correct answer like, "Where's Alice?), and plain old silly voices and rough housing. We chased each other with sticks today. 

Now to teach Alice this...maybe they'll fight less :)

Bobby's Sunday Summary

I don't have a lot to say.  This week has been very busy at work.  I was very happy for the weekend so I could have a break.  We had a good weekend.  It was mostly relaxing, but it was also fairly busy so it wasn't just sitting around the house doing nothing.  Susan got some planting in and the kids got to play outside so it was a good day.

Various and Sundry Updates

I'm still a bit of a basketcase, trying to catch up on sleep (i.e. the hallucinations have stopped and my vocabulary is about 50% normal), but I've had a few things happen recently that warrant some thought:


Tooth #3
James cut another tooth today. He is the sweetest, most charming little teether I've had, so far. This tooth came after a 2-day snot waterfall and a brief incident of diarrhea. Not bad. I keep thinking to myself, "Man! This is the easy baby everyone's been talking about."


Pink pink pinky pink...and purple
Alice and Robert received some birthday money from Grandma and Grandpa Evans. One morning, some time ago, Alice was bemoaning the absence of a Pillow Pet in her life. Bobby showed her online that with a few more chores, she could earn enough money to buy one herself. Robert was hooked, too, and they picked out their "pets" right away: Alice selected the rainbow unicorn and Robert opted for the snow leopard. The PINK snow leopard. Looking at the picture online, it seemed a muted pink. Bobby didn't even notice the pink, actually, until I pointed it out to him.

It bothers me that the color bothers me. Y'know? That's a recent development. I used pink blankets on baby Buddy. I was PROUD of myself for being such a free thinker and bucking the "pink is only for girls" mentality. I tried not to let the color of the snow leopard matter to me. Well, we picked up the Pillow Pets today, and the pink snow leopard is NOT a muted pink. It is hot pink, with bright purple spots. Heaven help me:

I've been thinking about this all evening. What's the difference between a pink baby blanket and a pink Pillow Pet? It's who made the choice. If I choose pink for Robert, it's because I'm a free-thinker, but if Robert chooses it, suddenly it means something different???? Why should it? He really likes the snow leopard in Kung-Fu Panda. That's why he chose this particular pet. The color was unimportant. It's still unimportant to him. I wondered if he would reject it when he saw it. Nope. I wonder if he'll reject it when his cousins or friends come over and question him for having a "girl" toy. Or will they even care? I guess we'll see. 

So far, Robert's leopard and Alice's unicorn have completely different personalities. The leopard likes to be hit, punched, yelled into, and sat on. The unicorn is a baby that must be held gently and fed from a bottle. The leopard has already traveled in his own boat to England. The unicorn took a ride in the baby swing and needed a snuggle afterwards.

Growing Up

I feel like I've had to grow up a lot the last few weeks. I've had to tackle a few issues that I didn't really see myself handling until later in life, but I guess that time is now. I finally hit adulthood at age 33 years and 9 months. James is meeting milestones one right after the other. Robert is challenging and crazy fun and rapidly expanding his understanding of the world. Alice is crossing out of childhood into a new youth stage...more independent and capable than ever. I'm feeling more and more like a mother of three and all that entails. What does it entail, exactly? I dunno. It's like I've finally had to commit everything to the cause. Everything. I'm all in.

I've been on a "gather and photograph" kick with the kids. I feel compelled to put them altogether and capture this stage in pixels. As if staring at all three at once will help me understand it any better. It's mind-boggling how all the little decisions have added up to this point in my life. I feel full. I feel complete. I feel old, but it's a good old. Comfortable. It's the old I was aiming for. I just never knew how close I was to it until suddenly it arrived. This week.

 

Everything looks different when there are other people to care about.

Time with Julia

My friend Julia visited last month and I barely took pictures to document it. We made a few new memories (surprise game night, anyone?)(Jasper County line, wahoo!), and got to catch up a bit. It's nice to have known a friend for 16 years. The relationship carries a different weight when it's been around that long. 

And now, before I wax too philosophical, it's time to go to bed. This old lady needs her "sanity rest" :)

Too Tired to Blog

I experienced quite a few "firsts" this week in my role as the first counselor in my congregation's Relief Society:

• This was the first time I had ever been involved in a funeral. 

• A widow passed away quite suddenly and she had no family members who could dress her body for burial. For the first time in my life, I was able to help with that. I am forever grateful for my mom and the other excellent women I could consult with to prepare for this unique act of service. Their insights allowed this to be an unusually spiritual experience for me. When we finished dressing her, she appeared glorious, heavenly, at peace. I think I sensed joy. Was it her joy? I don't know. I just can't explain the feeling any better than that. 

• Our Relief Society organization was asked to put on a luncheon for the family members after the graveside service. That's pretty typical, except our fine president had just had a baby the day before and would not be available to direct the affair. I was able to manage it, surprisingly enough, but only because of our president's meticulously clear notes, and nothing short of 14 fabulous volunteers who bought, prepped, served, setup, washed, cleaned, and babysat everything and everyone just as it needed to be done. I love, love, love serving with these people.

And then, when it was all said and done, I came home and collapsed on the bed. Five nonstop days can add up on a person. The adrenaline was gone. All that was left was exhaustion. Burning eyes. Aching body. Lucky for me, the kids were okay with playing card games on the bed while I drifted in and out of consciousness. Dinner was leftovers. I think the kids ate plain white rice and nothing else. Oh well.

I'm happy. I would like to think about these happenings in more detail. I want to record more about this process and publicly thank those 14 volunteers by name, but that's not going to happen tonight. I'm off to bed.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

What a day.  My brother, who lives in town, had a new baby a couple of months ago.  They decided to bless the baby today.  So may parents were in town, but because of their schedule they showed up Friday night and left this afternoon.  They stayed with us the last two nights.  In addition to all of this Susan is the first counselor in the Relief Society presidency. The president had a baby this week and an older lady in our ward passed away, so Susan has kind of been in charge getting a funeral planned and everything.  Oh and she taught the lesson in church today.  I think I must be married to mild mannered alter ego of a super hero.

Missing...

...one weekly planner, filled with this person's life and schedule. If found, please return it to the frantic lady pulling out her hair and mumbling to herself. She's really lost without it. Paralyzed.

(And profuse apologies to you if she happens to miss an appointment in the meantime.)