A few more things

Just a few more snippets I want to record here:

On our walk to school today, James told me that he plays a little game as he walks. He imagines there's a sewing needle at his toe and his heel so that as he walks, he's stitching into the ground. Everyone is stitching. And those stitches hold the Earth together so that even if the Earth had no core, the surface would remain whole. That's why he deliberately steps on cracks.

Matthew told me he prefers the shadow game. It's kind of like "shadows are lava".

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Driving home together from his job training, Alex was talking about how his future co-workers were different from him. He said they looked "so Evangelical Christian." I asked him what it was that gave him that impression. He said they wore modest clothes and had perfect hair and beautiful bodies. We laughed about that for a second--a religion that only allows perfectly beautiful people to join--yeah, right. He said that the YMCA is a Christian organization, so he expected there to be more Christians there. Then he said he doesn't mind people who are striving to be more Christ-like. He thinks that's a great way to live, actually. It's the organized religion that irks him...people so caught up in "I'm right, you're wrong" that they lose sight of being a good human being. People who tell him he's wrong and force their way of thinking onto him are the ones he tries to avoid.

All the camp counselors have to choose a camp name. He was caught off guard and could only think of "Hulk." On the way home, he thought of a hundred others he would like more. He's gonna try and change it to "Floor." If you've seen the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie, that will make more sense to you.

This week, Alex started suspecting he has Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS).

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I've discovered a new favorite chocolate indulgence...warm up a little milk, drop in twice as many dark chocolate chips, let the heat slowly melt the chocolate, then stir it until it's a thick and smooth ganache. Eat it warm with a spoon. Seriously, the best. Better than brownies, even.

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The adolescent robin we've been watching in our backyard has always been near his dad. When his dad would dig around for worms and bugs, the adolescent would scoot up close and chirp and open his mouth really wide. Initially, the dad fed him every time. But, as the days have worn on, I've watched the dad share less and less. This morning, we saw the dad actually fly away from the adolescent. And then, a little later, I saw the dad flap and rush at the adolescent when he got close again. I have a feeling that baby is getting weaned. I don't know how the baby feels about it, or how the dad finally decided it was time, but I feel like that's where I am as a parent right now. With Alex, anyway. Weaning. It's not a smooth, methodical process that we both find amenable. It's awkward and uncharted and sometimes feelings get hurt. Neither one of us is in control, either.

Camping #3

James, Matthew, and I spent our 3rd camping trip together outside of Litchfield, IL, at a farm/petting zoo. Unfortunately, I forgot to take pictures of the camping bits :( The owner had us set up camp in her spacious front yard with porch swings and a fire pit. She gave us a tour and we got to meet some pretty cool animals: peacocks and hens, a whole variety of exotic chickens, a bunny that screamed like crazy when she picked it up, hogs, a herd of goats that eagerly rubbed their heads on your legs to mark you as theirs, baby donkeys, ducks, and the funniest looking guinea fowl I've ever seen. Well, they're probably the ONLY guinea fowl I've ever seen. Here's a stock photo to give you an idea...

Their bodies are strangely blobby and those knobby face bits poke out all over the place. They were very, very fast. The guineas were roaming free in the front yard while the rest of the animals were in pens in the backyard. Every once in a while, James would get an urge and scream, "Poultry!" before running after them like a mad man. They slipped away from him silently and gracefully, like it was no big deal. They're nothing like chickens.

The peacocks were really loud. It was the peak of mating season and they were dead set on making a good impression on the pea hens.

We made a cooking fire and roasted hot dogs. It was pretty warm that evening, though, and we didn't want to linger around the fire. Warm weather and nearby animals also brought flies. The boys weren't too thrilled about those. We made our sleeping nest in the back of the van and realized we would cook to death if we didn't open the windows to the breeze. I think that was the first time in my life I would have preferred to sleep in a tent. I took notes. We'll be changing things up a little for our next camping adventure. 

In the morning, James was in a foul mood. Between the sweaty temps, the screaming peacocks, and the roosters crowing at 3am, none of us had slept very well. That's when James said, "I like the parts of camping that happen before bedtime and after you get up in the morning. I don't like the sleeping part because it's just a bunch of naps put together and you're so tired the next day."

Matthew and I sleepily, crabbily groaned in agreement.

Then I got the craziest urge to tackle James. Which I did. Which led to a huge dog pile pillow fight. That made us feel a little better. We made french toast for breakfast, washed dishes and broke camp before heading north to Country Classic Cars in Staunton, IL. There isn't much to do near Litchfield, IL. It wasn't quite warm enough to kayak or swim, so we opted for some indoor adventures instead. Country Classic Cars was a gold mine: Model T's, Model A's, Chevy's of all ages, Fords, Dodge Rams, Rolls Royce, Porsches, Corvettes, racing cars, off roaders, and even some military vehicles. 

We had looked at a hundred classic cars before James said, "I wish I could get a picture of these." I had a camera with me, it just didn't occur to me to take pictures until then. After that, we took a LOT of pictures. He did make us go back and start at the beginning, though. I'll only share a few here.

There was one car he said, "This is my perfect car. If I could have one to keep and drive around, it would be this one.":

He liked its compact, yet sleek design. Convertible. All yours for the low, low price of $19,450! 

Five enormous warehouses and a parking lot that seemed to stretch on forever in the hot sun...Matthew and I were wilting fast, James was still excited, but camping tired, so we eventually convinced him it was time to hit the Abraham Lincoln Museum in Springfield, IL. 

It was just enough museum for an hour or so. The boys had good questions. There's a multimedia presentation there called "Ghosts in the Library" that I love. I won't spoil it for you, but man, Matthew was totally surprised and impressed. 

After the museum, we went to visit Lincoln's tomb.

Nose buddies.

It was pretty solemn, but Matthew was giddy at the thought that the actual body of Abraham Lincoln was literally right there. In the tomb, there's a series of miniature Abraham Lincoln statues portraying different times of his life and career. The originals statues are all over the U.S. and we have one of them just across from Urbana High School. A few days after our visit to Lincoln's tomb, Matthew spotted the original statue and got excited all over again.

As soon as we were heading home, they were asking about our next camping trip :) I'm praying for good weather...we'll be camping on the beach at Starved Rock Kayaking Campground. 

Lots I want to record here...

The 4th/5th grade plays went well. James' props and sets held up, so he was pleased. His teacher gave him public kudos for his resourceful solutions to some problems they were facing. I "helped" at rehearsals and kept kids busy backstage, so I got to know some of his grade mates better. I loved watching him interact with peers. He's kinda sneaky and funny, totally aware of what he can get away with, but always the first to follow the teacher's instructions. He says he'll sign up to do it again if it's offered in 5th grade. 

A few kids from the production left big impressions on me:

1. There was one kid on the tech crew who literally turned every single thing into a crisis. She was high strung, yes, but her out-of-breath exasperation at every turn got everyone else all worked up, too. We might be running through the play, but backstage there's a crisis: the jewel from the tiara fell off again and she had to tell the director about it right now. And she did! She carried urgency around with her, "Do you have...any...tape?!" and turned any task into a mountain that required 3 people to grapple. It was exhausting. "May I go to the bathroom?! Should I ask if anyone else needs to go?! (raising her voice) Does anyone else need...to use...the restroom?! We're leaving now!"

2. There was one kid who seemed unassuming and kinda quiet most times, but once he was saying his lines, he was loud, completely in character, and more expressive than any of the other actors. It was eye-opening.

3. And then, finally, there was an audience member from the 4th grade who was selected to play the part of Little Bo Peep's sheep. Her job was to act like a sheep and then get chased out of the room. I had interacted with this girl earlier in Battle of the Books. I've mentioned her on the blog before. Her excited energy and love for others is unmatched. She adored playing the sheep. As her class filed out after the play, she recognized me and ran right up and jumped into my arms for a big, swinging hug. She was so darn excited. I really enjoyed that hug.

*****

Robert hates haircuts. I've tried 4 different haircut places, thinking he would be happier if...I don't know...just...maybe he'd be more comfortable expressing his preferences at X, Y, or Z shop? No, no, and no. This week, we tried yet another stylist. On the way there, Robert confessed that he always hates his haircuts because they always look weird right after a cut. My efforts to parse out his preferences and figure out what makes a haircut look "weird" to him uncovered a couple tips that might help the next stylist get closer to what he wants. Well, that totally exploded in my face. 

Robert is a totally different person in public than he is at home. A hundred thousand times different. First off, he lost all facial expression and immediately stopped talking. Then, as we entered the department store, he insisted I communicate in a whisper because a regular voice in this situation would be embarrassing. 

What?! We were the only ones in there. 

Then, when I asked if I could tell the stylist about the tips I just learned on the way here, he said, "I don't care." Which, of course, I thought meant he actually didn't care. But, he got all bristly and curt with me, so I left him alone without speaking to the stylist. The haircut happened. The second we turned away from the stylist and started back to the car, he told me he hated it and berated me for one thing after another. First off, his "I don't care" didn't actually mean "I don't care." It actually meant, "You're embarrassing me like crazy, treating me like a little kid, and if I take the time right now to express my concern and frustration to you, it will make things even MORE embarrassing and awkward so please just stop talking and leave me alone." This was only one of the many humiliating things I had done in the last 30 minutes. I got to hear about many more. So, then and there, I decided that I was done facilitating his haircuts. I have tried again and again to make this a better experience for him. I've made appointments and gotten babysitters and driven all the way across town in hopes of finding a haircut he doesn't hate. It never gets better. He never says thanks. Instead, he has a hundred rules about behavior in public that I can't even comprehend, much less remember, and he grouches at me about them all the way home. Ugh. I'm done. If he wants to hate the haircuts I give him at home, great. At least I won't get yelled at for using a regular voice in a department store. If he wants to hate haircuts from other people, he can make the appointments himself and I'll drop him off at the door.

*****

I cook dinner on Tuesday nights, so the kids and I joke around that it's "Tofu Tuesday." The one time I didn't have tofu on the table, though, James was really sad. He takes his "Tofu Tuesdays" very seriously. I was running a little behind this week and got him to chop and cook the tofu himself. He was worried, but it was delicious. I'm thinking the boys can do more of the cooking on our camping trips this summer.

*****

My current flock of hens is made up of Easter Eggers. They're a cross between a blue-egg breed and a brown-egg breed. A chicken's earlobes are affected by the same pigments that color their eggs, so our chickens' earlobes have a slightly greenish-blue tint. So, so cool. Also, this breed is really friendly and terrifically curious. I like that curiosity. They're even curious about us. There's one chicken who watches me creepily. She sees me and runs up to the fence, ignoring her sisters and whatever they're doing. When I find a grub, I take it to the chickens and she's already there waiting. Like Roz from Monsters Inc., she's aaaaaaalways watching. She gets almost all of the grubs I find. There's another chicken who always seems to get out of the pen. She's funny, though, because as soon as she realizes she's separated from her sisters, all she does is walk up and down along the fence looking for a way back in. Some people might call her dumb. I prefer to compare it to the innocent and eager curiosity that gets a kid to climb a tree with no thought for how he/she will get back down.

But I shouldn't anthropomorphize the hens too much. Yesterday afternoon, a juvenile robin stumbled into their pen and the flock pounced on it like a pack of velociraptors, screeching and pecking and tossing it into the air with their beaks. What a commotion! I managed to shoo them off and take the bird to safety where its parent found it. They both flew away.

Garden Nibbles

The garden has encouraged my kids to try a greater variety of vegetables. Sort of. They have this game they like to play where they make little "rolls" for each other to eat. They literally pick leaves off of (approved) plants in my garden and roll them together into a tight little sausage of garden flavor. Pea leaves are a favorite, followed by cabbage and broccoli leaves, but they sometimes add a little green onion or garlic greens in there for spice. They all have preferences for certain herb combinations (Matthew does NOT like a lot of oregano, but cilantro and thyme are generally popular). The licorice-tasting one went well, but they wanted it to be sweeter. Maybe I can grow stevia ;)

I harvested spring mix, radishes, and collard greens this weekend. I think I finally decided that I prefer salads with heavier leaves. The spring mix is beautiful, but there's no crunch. No texture. Very little flavor.

Did I tell you I've got braces? They're the "invisible" ones you can swap in and out. I'm kinda miffed that I didn't get to move on to my next set of Invisalign aligners this week. I wear these things 22 hours a day. I'm halfway through the main treatment already and I've got the routine down really well. Everything felt the same this week. Why didn't my teeth pass this time?!?! Ugh. Before this weekend, I had 140 days of uninterrupted passing grades. 

We had a lovely day on Saturday that I was spending on irrigation setup (I hate doing irrigation) in my garden. The kids were in and out of the house, distracting me and having fun in the great weather. At one point they decided that instead of rolling up leaves to eat them, they would just eat the leaves straight off the plants. Robert did it, too!! They really liked the broccoli and cabbage leaves. 

Matthew particularly enjoyed pretending he was a baby rabbit as he hopped from one broccoli plant to the next and took a bite out of each. My plants look a little ragged today, but I'm happy to know their leaves were eaten by the right creatures :) 

Matthew decided, also, that this was going to be the summer he finally learned to ride a bike. James got excited and challenged him to start learning RIGHT NOW. I was kind of annoyed to leave the irrigation (frustrating as it was) and change gears into mechanic mode, but I wasn't sure when Matthew would next feel the impulse to try, so I made the switch. It took 30 minutes to get everyone's bikes out, dust off helmets, adjust seat heights, fill tires, and put on shoes. Turns out we needed a couple new tubes. So, we threw the little bikes into the van and drove out to our favorite bike shop for some shopping. The mechanic did a quick ABC inspection on both bikes and I left with 4 tubes, 2 tires, and a bike chain to install myself at home. They would have done it for me right then, but I kinda want to learn this stuff, so I made it a homework project. Matthew's flat was a pretty easy fix. I got him back on the road quickly where he promptly learned how to ride his bike with confidence and grit. He's tougher than he looks, and a lot tougher than he gives himself credit for! It only took 10 minutes once he was really ready for it.

James' bike needs a little more work. He helped me replace his rear tube and tire, then I adjusted his brake pads. Yeah, that felt awesome. 

Matthew, James and I rode around the cul-de-sac a hundred times. Matthew struggled with his starts. He would wobble a little and fall over, never really getting enough momentum to properly pedal. He was repeatedly frustrated to tears. He didn't give up, though, or accept any additional help beyond verbal pointers. By the next day, though, he was much more coordinated and practiced. We were venturing to Boudreau Circle and everything.

On Sunday, we somehow forgot when church started and showed up 45 minutes late thinking we were 15 minutes early. Ugh. It's May. I should have this down by now!

James made another spectacular batch of chocolate chip cookies. He also swatted a fly as expertly as my dad does. He's got potential, this one. When I talk to his teachers, they often tell me about an idea James had in class that solved a problem or resolved a conflict in some way. I admire his confidence in his ideas. That's something I struggle with.

Alex, Robert, and I finished watching the Marvel movies up through End Game. Alex sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Robert liked the movies, but he didn't get attached to the characters like Alex did. Robert does like being "in" on the secret jokes and quotes now, though. He's been awfully protective of them. We'll laugh at something Marvel-related and the younger boys will want to know what's so funny. They don't give a hoot about spoilers, so they want me to explain everything. At first, I explained the jokes so the little boys could laugh, too. But then the little boys would bring it up again and again and again until it was no longer funny. Robert begs me not to let them in on it any more. I want to include the younger boys, but man, I don't want the fun sucked out of it. 

I fixed the front storm door. That felt awesome.

I'm waiting 5 hours for our car to be repaired. That's less awesome, but I'm grateful that 1) we had the funds to make the repairs immediately, 2) we could get it fixed before we got stuck somewhere, and 3) Bobby had a break in his day to bring me home :)

Time to Blog Again

So many things building up that I want to record...

Alex has accepted two jobs for this summer. First and foremost, he'll be a Liaison Aide at the YMCA Summer Camps this year. That means he'll be assigned one kid at a time with special needs to help him/her integrate into summer camp. Alex is really, really excited about this job and the $14/hour paycheck it promises. He's also accepted a job as a cashier at the indoor pool near the high school. 

Robert has started playing video games online with his friends. I have mixed feelings about it. 

Robert also dislocated his thumb in P.E. last week. Bobby and I took turns with him in the Convenient Care waiting room for several hours just trying to be seen. When the radiology tech took the x-rays of Robert's thumb and wrist, I was reminded of all those hours in the dark basement of the biology building taking picture after picture of my glowing microscopic nematodes. When I would get a good picture, it was crazy satisfying. Those x-ray images were crazy satisfying. It made me consider going back to school for a radiology tech certificate. I even checked job boards for our local clinics. I wonder if they'd hire me just for winters. My summers are booked through 2032.

Don't tell Robert, but I've really enjoyed hearing his family and dinner prayers lately. He's started personalizing them more to the situation and audience. Makes me smile every time.  

James has enjoyed being the props director for a couple of small 4th-5th grade plays this spring. He's handy with tools, pretty creative, pretty focused, and well-known in his class for being "the artist". He's created much of the set and sourced or built almost all of the props. He does NOT like asking/assigning kids to do things, though, so the "director" part of his job is very difficult for him. He kinda just waits for the drama teacher to tell the other kids what to do. They perform the plays next week! 

Here is one of James' drawings on the back of a class worksheet. He finishes the work really quickly and then starts drawing on the back until it's time for the next thing. Mechanical pencils are his favorite tool.

James and Matthew got salon haircuts recently. We have a sister in our ward who is a stylist and I thought of her the moment I saw what the boys wanted their next haircuts to look like. It turns out I could do 75% of it on my own, but to make it look seamless and natural I'd need a couple more tools and a lot more practice. The boys loved the experience and we had a great chat with the stylist. 

Matthew getting his hair washed. Both boys liked this but thought it was so weird. Once the haircuts were over, they begged me to purchase the salon shampoo and conditioner so their hair could always feel teddy bear soft like that. I did not make the purchase. This time. Their hair was really, really soft!

James checking out the special dryer. 

Matthew decided on Sunday morning that he wanted to cook something to eat, but not scrambled eggs. He's pretty good at scrambled eggs now. And cheese toasties. This morning, I suggested he try to make french toast. It's not any more difficult than scrambled eggs and it's way, way, way easier to put together from scratch than pancakes or waffles. He loooooved it!

Look at that grin!

Our family does Family Home Evening like Bobby's did growing up: hold the lesson and such on Sunday afternoon and save Monday evenings for "Monday Night Fun." Matthew loves Monday Night Fun. He's kinda crazy about it. If we have to delay or cancel it for some reason, he's devastated!! So many tears. And I'm sitting there thinking, "It's just half an hour of croquet, dude, what's the big deal??" Well, the last time we had to make a last-minute change, Matthew's loud and teary lament included this, "I love Monday Night Fun. I look forward to it all week! Monday Night Fun is the ONLY time we're all together as a family having fun. Even Alex comes out of his room!" I thought about it and realized he was right. Well, I decided right then and there that I was going to take Monday Night Fun more seriously. We would do a better job of it because it matters so much to Mr. Social-pants Matthew. So, when it was Matthew's turn to organize Monday Night Fun and he asked me to help him create a short D&D campaign, I put aside my grumbles and sat down to help. He was a great DM, by the way. Great for an 8-year-old. Bobby and I had to reign in some sibling criticism early on and a couple of times we had to help the story gain momentum, but all-in-all we were laughing and inventing together. Robert was always the character jumping into holes, picking up random magical objects and starting fights with big bad guys. He did it to be funny, not competitive, and we could all play along. Bobby's weapon was a rock that always flew towards Robert's head, so every time he used it, we had to roll the dice to see how well Robert hopped out of the way. He often didn't. I was a healer, but my dice rolls were terrible and I always did more damage than good. It was just plain silly and so much fun.

Recently, some of our family helped pick up litter with our neighborhood association. Alex, James, and Matthew came with me. They were so chatty. James and Matthew thoroughly enjoyed the grabbers (just like Grandpa Evans' grabber!) and were sad to give them back.

Four of our crew. I believe Bobby and Robert had already left for the gym that Saturday morning.  

My backyard garden and the community garden at Meadowbrook are both doing really well so far. I've been able to give each of them a little time every day. About 6 months ago at Stake Conference, one of the presidency members (our former bishop and all around really nice guy) taught that our lives can become more sacred through Small Acts Consistently Repeated Every Day (S.A.C.R.E.D.). I can tell you that this concept has changed how I think about living my life. All the little things I make time for in my day become the patterns that make up my life. If I want a close connection to God, I need to make time for building that relationship every day. That's very different from a weeklong pilgrimage every few months, y'know? It's the same with gardening, cycling, and building a clean, loving home environment. Just gotta do the little things every day, consistently, and real progress comes. In the past, I've focused on one big project at a time. That works well sometimes, but most of the time I feel constantly interrupted and perpetually behind. Now that I make a little time for each of the core things I want in my life, those frustrating interruptions have turned into "I'll just do more of this tomorrow" and the desperate catching up feeling has morphed into "At least I got this much done." It's a subtle difference, but important.