All four kids in school this morning, in-person, full-day. It's a momentous day.
Alice was so excited she woke up at midnight and couldn't get back to sleep. She's wired.
Robert, resigned to his fate, got up, did what he needed to do, got reeeeeeally stressed in the last few minutes before leaving, but made it.
James, also resigned to his fate, but keeping himself to himself, did what needed to be done and was out the door with little fuss.
Matthew, nervous about the new teacher and all the new kids and expectations he wouldn't know, flitted about and chatted nervously. He felt like we were going to leave without him at any moment, even 30 minutes before our scheduled departure.
Bobby walked James and Matthew to school. I drove Robert to school. Alice walked to school with a friend.
And now Bobby and I are home alone in our own house. Whew.
I would normally dive deep into my feelings at this point, but I'm not going there today. It's been an inordinately rough couple of weeks. My physical symptoms of anxiety have resurfaced a bit and I'm back on my anti-anxiety meds. The anxiety is not debilitating like it was December 2018, but it's palpable and very uncomfortable. As I wake up in the morning and just start to get my bearings, it hits me like a wave: rapid pulse, hot flashes, every sound startles me and fills me with fear, nausea, lower GI distress, and a burning in my chest like I just got caught in a huge lie. Thankfully, I can get out of bed and take care of my family for the most part. That's good. I am very, very happy about that. And the anxiety seems to taper off significantly in the afternoon and evening. I am grateful for that tender mercy, too.
I'll save the emotional deep dive for another day :)
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