The second I say this...

...it will end...

Robert and James have fought less over the last couple of days. Don't know exactly why, or how, or for how long, but they have somehow found a couple things to play together that don't end in nuclear war. At first, it was naughty stuff:

*James writing in ballpoint pen on the walls, the bed sheets, and his wooden rocking horse while Robert just watches all the fun.

*James throwing every piece of clothing out of both dressers and Robert helping him all toss them all over their room, some ending up on the ceiling fan.

*Robert leaping from the top bunk across the room onto James' bed.

*Robert hooking socks and underwear to the ceiling and hanging from them until he tears a hole in them.

Grrrrr...but last night, after bedtime, they traded pajama shirts and thought it was hilarious. They even went to the bathroom together, kinda like Alice and Robert used to do when they were roommates.

I remain cautiously hopeful :)

Analog "Photo Booth" at the dinner table!

This is a selfie on our 14th wedding anniversary, attending the Yahoo! Champaign Year-End Party.

And Matthew discovered something fun with his straw cup the other day:

50%

Yipee!

Baby Steps

Robert and James have started to physically tussle a bit. It starts out as a little passive-aggressive invasion of the other person's space, then grows into a kind of smooshy wrestling match with laughing and a little more aggression (which both of them seem to be enjoying thoroughly), then somehow it escalates into someone getting a little bit hurt and telling on the other one.

I see it as progress, oddly enough, because both boys are enjoying the tussle (common interest) and both boys stop immediately when the other gets hurt (sympathetic/empathetic impulse control).

Also, we were outside this afternoon and the boys were exploring a big pile of sticks. They wanted to play fight with them. You should have seen the wicked grin on James' face. I said they could play fight with the sticks as long as they were on the same team fighting bad guys in other places. Gleefully, they ran off together and whacked stuff for a good five minutes before James started pointing his stick at Robert in a sneaky sort of menacing way. Long story short, I ended up yanking Robert's stick from him and breaking it over my knee into several pieces. Gah!

But they had a good five minutes of cooperative, creative play before then. I'll take that.

Found a gigantic pig statue today.

Packages!

James asks about packages at least 5 times a day. He keeps asking to check the porch for more packages. He leaves letters and pictures out front for the mailman and the delivery guy in the hopes that they will be pleased and bring us more packages. James' current superhero is a mail carrier.

I've got half a mind to scrounge the house for empty boxes and leave him some homemade packages on the porch during quiet time...bubble wrap, balloons, tic-tacs...doesn't take much to put this kid over the moon.

After the bedtime routine tonight, James came out by himself with one of his stalling questions...but this one wasn't just about stalling...

"For Christmas, I want Santa to come and leave us packages to open...I know he's not real *pause to suppress swelling emotion and rub his eyes*...but I want him to come."

Now I'm the one suppressing swelling emotions...

Name Calling

James found himself in timeout three times today for calling someone "Boo boo butt." On the spectrum of horrible name calling, this falls on the mild side, but hearing it angrily flung from my own son's mouth toward another son...sheesh...just sent a zing of horror up my spine. James was in timeout before I had even fully registered the situation.  It was a knee-jerk reaction.

Later, I overheard him talking himself down from saying it again: "Wobuht jus' a boo-...uh...me no like time outs."

So, here's the thing. At some point, they will find names to call each other that don't bother me as much as this one. Or maybe they'll discover worse ones. And they'll yell them at each other with all the passionate fury of a child been wronged. I remember a few moments like that from my own childhood, actually. Then what? I will probably look back and laugh at how uptight I was about something so minor as "boo boo butt."

Just gotta figure out where the enforceable boundary is here and my reasoning for that boundary.

I asked him to open his eyes REALLY wide so I could get a picture of those crazy-cool irises.

A real smile from my James-y

Bed head Mass-uh-you before his haircut.

Good things come in little packages. The primary kids performed a little song at our church Christmas dinner on Friday.

Catch-up

Still adjusting to the reality of a cell phone for me. That thing is really helpful and super distracting. Also, with free access to texting, I find myself sharing little bits of personal news and pictures with individuals. That's great for my relationship with those individuals, but terrible for my blogging presence.

So here I play catch-up a bit.

Matthew's cold turned into a double ear infection withOUT a fever. We were all amazed, even the doc, to discover his eardrums bulging with infection and yet his temperature remaining solidly normal. Half a day on antibiotics and we could see our sweet little baby coming back. The poor kid would play just a couple minutes before stopping to lay on the floor. His personality is peeking out more. He plays simple games (high five, gonna gitcha), grunts and points with focus, and has wailing tantrums on the floor when misunderstood. Yay! A real little kid in there!

We spent a blissful few days with friends for Thanksgiving. Our kids played with their kids just enough that neither one of us had to intervene that often. Everyone got a little break. A fantastic family that I've missed, a beautiful home with plenty of space, excellent weather, and oodles of quality time with people I love: perfect.

Matthew mastered the stairs!

These 3-year-olds didn't seem to mind the freezy cold rain.

My girly

It was a little hard to come home and get back into regular life again.

I continue to make progress in learning Spanish. It's too much fun. I don't remember being this motivated to learn French in high school. I find myself wanting worksheets and exams, though, to motivate me to study more diligently. Or maybe I could start a conversational Spanish club...

Robert and James in the same bedroom: I want to split them up. It's only been 2 months. I knew I would want to split them up about now...it's starting to get gritty. But I don't dare do it until we've had a chance to develop a few new social/communication/cooperative tools. Their relationship is something I work and pray and burn energy on every single day. We've tried all sorts of things. Today, I toyed with the idea of giving them candy every time they fight. Then maybe when the candy ran out, they wouldn't find it worthwhile to bother each other every. stinking. minute. I didn't do it, but I'm not completely throwing the idea away. Yet.

Can you find Robert at the top?

Robert and James displaying their recycle bin creatures.

James and another James in front of James' Hardware Store.

Alice's current big project is putting on a play with all her best friends. We found a kit at the library that was made for 8-year-olds to put on a play together...scripts, director's guide, costume and set suggestions, the works. They meet this Saturday to pick parts and begin rehearsing. Stay tuned.