James' Drawings

The assignment was to 1) draw their own shoe while observing it, 2) divide the field of view with straight lines and 3) alternate between color and gray scale within those divisions. I am completely in love with the toe of this shoe. It's perfect! I can't even point out what makes it look so realistic. I just look at that and it's actually how a shoe looks.

This is the exterior view of the latest iteration of James' dream home.

I couldn't get this image turned around properly :(  I just love seeing each wall of the room in turn. 

Same here...all the details and spatial reasoning that went into this...it's just very satisfying to see and imagine myself there. I love it!

Bike Ride with James

I scheduled the van for a hitch install this week, just in time to drive down to Houston next week and pick up a trailer full of goodies to bring home to Urbana :)

Serendipitously, the UHaul hitch install place is only half a mile from the bike shop where I work, so drop off was easy. I could take my bike in the van to UHaul, bike to work, then drive or bike home depending on when the install was done.

Well, it got a little sticky at 3pm when all 4 kids had dentist appointments and the van wasn't ready yet. Bobby squeezed them into the white car and made it work, though. Yay! 

(Still no cavities. This is beyond ridiculous! Not one cavity in 49 combined years of tooth-growing?! Sheesh. Tough little toothies.)

 

Alex threw up several times that night. Matthew had experienced the same stomach bug a few days before, but we thought it was food poisoning. Nope! So, we immediately cancelled piano lessons and Winter Fun Camp happening the next day.

When the car was ready, I was ready to get out of the house and away from the kids. I decided to ride my bike to the UHaul shop. Much to my surprise, James wanted to come along. I thought about it for a minute. I weighed the options, pros and cons, and decided that it would be more fun for me and everyone else if James came along. It was only 6 miles, the temperature was in the wet but tolerable low 40s, and he's a confident and focused cyclist. He wouldn't slow me down much, and he wouldn't complain. 

I've just gotta say it again: James doesn't tend to complain. He's got all sorts of other energy-draining behaviors, and he will complain now and then, but most of the time he just accepts it or finds a logical way around it or inspires others to complain about it instead 😉 

And you know what? We had a really good ride together. The route took us through a part of campus that he knows well from our ACES Family Academy experiences. He reminisced out loud as we passed those landmarks, noting what has changed since our stay last July. Then we biked through several neighborhoods. He pointed out houses and cars that piqued his interest, talking about how different they all are even in one neighborhood. He made me see my commute in a very different way.

He did get tired about mile 4. We were ascending a long, slow Illinois hill. He paused at a Lost Cat poster for several minutes reading it over and over and then looking around and then reading it again. Soon afterwards, we were coasting down the other side at 15 mph and he was shouting out discoveries about his head position and how that changed the volume of the wind. 

I really do enjoy 1-on-1 time with my kids. It didn't hurt that I also got to be riding my bike and finishing an errand at the same time 😀

Found this lovely photo op along our ride :) It's on the side of a motorcycle shop.

It got me thinking that maybe I could do recreational cycling with this kid. You know...drive somewhere, ride your bike around to see stuff, then drive home. I have zero interest in that sort of thing on my own, but it would be an absolutely lovely way to spend time with someone I love. And now that we have a hitch...

Family birthday

Our family turned 22 years old on Monday. We got to celebrate it with Erin! I created a little slideshow of pictures touching on our time together as a family.

We're all old enough now to appreciate cute baby pictures :)

It was strange seeing pictures of the kids much younger than now. The growth happened ever so slowly...each child inching from who they were then to who they are now. Some traits clearly persisted, some evolved into other shapes, and some completely disappeared. I wonder how much Bobby and I have changed. 

This year marks a significant middle point in my life: I have been married as many years as I've been single.

After the slideshow, we went to dinner at the Urbana Garden Family Restaurant. It's not an awesome restaurant, but it has a little bit of everything so everyone could order something they liked. 2 people ordered breakfast, 2 ordered sandwich things, and 3 ordered classic American fare.

After dinner, we went to the movie theater and watched "Wonka." The family gave mixed reviews on that one, but I personally liked it very much.

I didn't take a single picture all night. During the slideshow, Robert reveled in the fact that there weren't many pictures of him at this age. Bobby took one right then 😆 

Christmas Change

Christmas is working a little differently for our family this year. I routinely feel overwhelmed in mid-November with all of the Christmas holiday work to be done. Even the "fun" traditions take loads of emotional effort for me since it's very difficult to meet everyone's changing preferences and expectations. Add that to the "Mommy Tax*" and I pretty much can't win.  

So, it occurred to me this year that maybe we could divvy up the emotional burden! 

--Bobby and I are managing the Santa gifts

--Alex is planning Christmas Dinner

--Robert is responsible for filling everyone's stockings

--James is in charge of our daily advent countdown activities

--Matthew is putting together our Christmas Eve dinner and Program

The kids were pretty excited about this when it was first proposed. James put together the Advent Calendar right away. Already, we've had a foil boat contest, sat by the fire, put up the Christmas tree, run around the house, and listened to meditation music. There have been a couple activities that James and Matthew decided weren't worth the effort after all (e.g. make a nativity scene out of cardboard) and instead of supreme disappointment that Mom put something lame in the advent countdown (Mommy tax!), they just shrugged their shoulders and moved on as if to say, "Well, what else would you expect from a kid?" 

Such a welcome relief! And while the activities aren't especially spiritual or Christmas-y, they are exactly what the boys love best about them: something unexpected and fun to do together as a family every day. I'm good with that. 

The other day, Matthew was reading The Friend magazine and gasped, "This is something we could do for Christmas Eve!" It's a script for a Christmas Nativity Play complete with a narrator and simple costume instructions. He was so excited! That's tooooootally up his alley.

Robert asked me to take him shopping on Saturday for the Christmas stockings. We gave him a budget and a few loose guidelines and he was ready to go. I was not. I hate shopping. Especially during the Christmas season. And especially, especially when there isn't a clear shopping list. I gathered my strength and off we went. Turns out, Robert is a thoughtful, diligent, and flexible stocking shopper. He made all the tough decisions. He made it fair. He tailored each one. He stayed remarkably on-budget and within the guidelines we set. Not only that, but Robert is delightfully funny and charming when it's just me and him. Soooo, an odious Christmas chore turned into quality time with one of my favorite people on the whole planet! Best Christmas gift ever. Seriously. 

Bobby and I worked together on the Santa gifts. He had some really great gift ideas for the kids that I think will go over really well. I like spending time with Bobby. I like working with him, too. He's such a nice guy. Not just smart and good looking, but just plain nice.

Alex is currently working on the Christmas dinner menu. He has already asked me if I'm capable of following a recipe even if it's full of butter, cheese, more butter, and refined grains. I squintched my eyes and said yes. I've never managed to do that with recipes in the past, but I can do hard things for my family...right? 

*Mommy Tax is what I call the additional emotional charge behind anything one's mother does, says, gives, offers, forgets, or celebrates. Because a particular gift or activity was selected by Mom, it means something different from the same gift or activity selected by another person. For example, if I chose to give my child cash instead of stocking stuffers because I know there's no toy or game he would want in there, he would be disappointed and hurt. Really hurt. If he is filling stockings, however, and decides himself that there isn't any stocking stuffer he actually wants, then he's just fine with the cash. This Mommy Tax applies to everything I do for/with/relating to my children. It's a super power AND my kryptonite. 

Kids on the Stairs

 

We're missing one of the Garner kids (he's at college) but the rest are here. Why don't Robert and James ever smile in pictures?! They won't tell me. Maybe when they're adults they'll feel like sharing. 

Victory

Yesterday, Robert came home from school in a really good mood. He said, "Y'know the three things that make me happy?"

"Uh, what?"

"There are three things that make me happy: 1) being good at math, 2) being good at Fortnite, and 3) transcending on Clicker Heroes (another video game)."

"Huh," I said, but I was thinking, "Really? That's all it takes to make you happy?!"

"Well, today in math, I finished the unit workbook in 15 minutes and the teacher said they'll take 2-3 days as a class to go through it all! Second, my Clicker Heroes run was interrupted and I lost 3 weeks of progress. But, [technical jargon involving the game's saving protocols and the idiosyncrasies of his school-issued Chromebook] and it turns out I hadn't lost all that progress. My progress was perfectly restored! And third, I worked on [Fortnite-specific technical game skills and fine motor control issues] and I doubled my editing speed!"

That's a triple whammy for the boy. A very, very good day. 

"Plus, I got on a roll and wrote 7.5 pages for my creative writing assignment. C read it and said it was really good. And we know each other well enough that that was a real compliment. It's not a story that you would want to read, Mom, but it's great that someone with that much reading and literature experience would like my story."

*************************************

Alex was trying to print something at home for a friend and the colors were coming out all weird and stripey. He asked me to have a look. I poked around, pushed some buttons, and printed the printer test page. Alex saw the results, analyzed them, looked up online how to resolve the issues, and pushed some more buttons. One minute later, the printer was working perfectly. He was crazy proud of himself for working that out. 

*************************************

There were literally no work orders at the shop on Thursday. No one was in line to have their bike worked on. No reservations. No work waiting for parts. There was not one bike mechanic task on the schedule for the day or the next or any of the days on the shop calendar. Nothing. That meant we were tasked with store things instead. I sorted the tire and tube storage areas. It sounds like a dumb chore, but I actually learned a TON about tire sizes and types. I sorted everything out, created new labels, and felt good about the work I had done. 

*************************************

Last Saturday, I was filling in at the shop for a coworker. We were having a really hard time installing some fat, knobby, studded tubeless tires onto their wheels. We were all online looking up strategies for this sort of problem. I'm still the newest employee, so I'm used to asking other employees how to do things. This time, though, we were all on the same footing. I found an idea that I wanted to try. I suggested it. They kinda shrugged their shoulders and kept looking. I decided to move forward with it. 

I went into the back room to get the tool I needed and when I turned on the light, there were two shop mannequins right up close to me in threatening poses. It was too perfect to be accidental. I thought, "That's dumb," and got the tool. 

A few days later, my coworker walked into that same back room and scared himself silly with those mannequins. The very mannequins that he had set up to scare others. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, I feel like my coworkers are barely out of middle school 😕 

My technique with the tire worked, though! That felt like a victory. 

Photo binge

 

Alex and me in the Garners' living room for Thanksgiving.

James scooping out some cheese balls on our drive to Ohio. This particular brand and container of cheese balls is important in our family. Many, many years ago, Erin took Alex and Robert to Indianapolis for a little mini vacation. Those cheese balls were one of their road snack choices. Both Alex and Robert remember how HUGE the container seemed and they ate cheese balls until they were sick. Stories of this enormous bin of cheese balls passed down from sibling to sibling until it became legend. Now, it's a really special treat to have.

Putting up the Christmas tree this week for Monday Night Fun. Did I tell you that Robert recently opposed the "Monday Night Fun" title? He half-jokingly proposed it should be called "Family Togetherness Time" instead because he no longer finds any of the activities "fun." Every once in a while, though, he has fun ;)

More tree decorating. Each kid has their own set of ornaments and they put them on the tree. It's a much smoother and easier process now that the kids are old enough to manage their own ornaments. Whew!

We sat next to some friends at our most recent Stake Conference and they had a miniature Etch-A-Sketch. All three boys were transfixed by this novel technology. Our family has owned several magnetic drawing boards, but never an Etch-A-Sketch. Robert made this picture. 

Who got the random idea to trap their brother in duct tape? I can't remember. One part of me was like, "What a waste of duct tape!" and the other part was like, "It's just one roll, and I've always wanted to be wrapped up in duct tape, too. Why not let them?" We laughed a lot. No one could break free. 

James and Matthew had fun playing in our first leaf pile of the year. They did well with the raking and really enjoyed the leaf blower. We later had some younger friends over and the 3-year-old could barely hold the leaf blower up, but he found a way to shoot the leaves way up high into a waterfall.  

Another Monday Night Fun activity. This was a game like Minute to Win It. There's a series of challenges and you get points for the ones you accomplish. Matthew was really, really proud of this particular feat. He loves this game. 

Another Driver!

It's official, Alex has his driver's license! We completed his 50 hours of driving practice the same week he became eligible to apply for the license. The DMV experience was phenomenal. The employees were extremely friendly and reflected the excitement of a teenager getting his first license. Alex was completely at ease. Then, by random selection, they told him he would have to take ANOTHER driving test...alone...with one of their evaluators...in our brand new electric van...which he had never, ever, ever driven before. His eyes grew wide. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped. My stomach did, anyway. 

Well, I sat in the waiting room too nervous to do much. 

They came back and the evaluator let me know that Alex did just fine. He passed. The most impressive part of the story to me, though, was what Alex said when they first got into the car. He told the evaluator, "I am confident in my driving ability, but I've never driven this car before." That speaks volumes about Alex's maturity and confidence and ability to advocate for himself. I never could have done that at age 16! I wonder if I would even think to say it out loud at age 44. What a kid.

He said they worked together a solid 2 minutes just figuring out how to turn the engine on. I had to laugh out loud. This car is very different from any car I've ever driven, so I wouldn't let Alex drive it before now. I didn't want the features/quirks of the car to distract him from driving, y'know? Well, that kinda backfired on me. 

It's been interesting having another driver in the household. He's taken himself to run errands and go to appointments. He's taken the other kids to Erin's house and midweek youth activities. Matthew is still scared to drive with Alex (I think our experience in Indianapolis kinda traumatized him), but practice will help with that. Alex is actually a very conscientious driver. Not too passive, not too aggressive. Not even passive-aggressive :)

Thanksgiving 2023

We spent Thanksgiving this year with our friends the Garners in Ohio. The 7-hour car trip was the most pleasant we've ever had. Age and maturity make a huge difference! (And so do movies and audio books *cough cough*) We made a lunch/pit stop at a huge public park in Columbus. They had a full-size "boot camp" style obstacle course. I don't think Robert left the car at all. Everyone else took some time to stretch their legs and use the bathroom. It was cold. And windy. 

I didn't take any pictures, unfortunately. Here's my hangup: I don't like to use my phone when I'm around/with people I know. Some of it is avoiding the whole "negligent mom" label, some of it is striving to be more present with the people in my space, but most of my cell phone choices stem from just plain courtesy to others. When I'm doing something on my phone, I'm actively ignoring those around me. That's only okay under very specific circumstances. Anyway, that means I often DON'T have my phone with me when I'm hanging out with people I love. 

We got to the Garners' house about dinner time. James and Matthew immediately went downstairs to the wiggle cars. Alex and I went to pick up pizza. It was a casual and comfortable visit. We love the Garners!

The next morning, the Garners and a few of us Evanses (Bobby, James, Matthew and I) drove to downtown Cleveland to be part of the Turkey Trot. Robert and Alex stayed home. They thoroughly enjoyed the quiet house to themselves. James and Matthew signed up to run the 5k with me and Bobby. It was colder and windier than the day before. Right off Lake Erie, the wind was bitter cold. Matthew was loudly and tearfully regretting his clothing choices that morning as we walked to the starting line. I was beginning to regret inviting him along. Thankfully, the mass of almost 9,000 people was so enormous, we could tuck into the back middle of the crowd where there was no wind whatsoever. There were so many people that it took us a solid 5 minutes just to get to the starting line itself. Matthew and James ran with me. Within the first mile, we had peeled off all of our extra clothes. Hot! Run-walk-run-walk, we finally made it! Matthew was so proud of himself. I was so happy for both of them.

The Thanksgiving meal was simple and very tasty. Rachel assigned different kids to prepare different dishes. Robert walked up to me at one point, showed me his cut thumb, and dryly stated, "I don't know why they thought they could trust me with a vegetable peeler." 

All the traditions were there: turkey, rolls, egg nog and Sprite, sweet potato casserole, cookie salad, asparagus, place markers, Dungeons & Dragons, 3 pie flavors, pumpkin pie for breakfast the next day, and a treat tasting. We didn't get around to minute-to-win-it games, but we did get the "kids on the stairs" photo. Rachel did, anyway. I'll need to get a copy of that :)

I got to give Rachel's road bike a tune up. When I saw her bike, I felt a swelling of love for it like I do my own bike. Riding makes me SO happy. The bulk of my riding experience and joy is inextricably connected to Rachel and her bike, so seeing her bike was seeing a long-lost friend. *sigh* I miss the riding season. We got to do some straightforward repairs. Loved it! They have a whole fleet of road and mountain bikes that I can work on the next time I'm there!

It was a great break for us. The ride home was just as pleasant as the ride out. The kids were reluctant to go back to school, but it was good for all of us :)

2 months

Bike Mechanic Stuff

I've been working at the bike shop for 2 months now. Business has slowed and my hours have been reduced, but I'm getting more thorough and proficient at all of the routine stuff. My first tune up (without repairs) took 4 hours. Yesterday, I performed a full tune up (bike wash, wheel truing, spoke tension, derailleur and brake adjustments, full lube and torque) with a few common repairs thrown in (derailleur hanger alignment, rear cassette, new chain, flat fix, and pedal swap) in only 2.5 hours. I'm really proud of that! I did forget one thing: inform the customer that their bike was ready. I'll pop in this morning and finish that little detail...whoops!

Two months ago, I couldn't identify one tenth of the tools and hardware at the workbench. There are little bowls of assorted bits and bobs at each bench and I remember thinking, "Eventually, I'll know what all of these pieces are and what they're for." Now I do! I'm proud of that, too. 

With fewer repairs coming into the shop, I've started asking friends to let me work on their bikes in my off-hours. I get so excited to get a new bike to work on!

Family Stuff

James has volunteered for Safety Patrol at school. He has to get to school earlier than usual, which has thrown off our morning routine. We had hoped that James and Matthew could get to school early together, but Matthew needs more time to get ready than James does and Matthew isn't allowed at school early without an adult. Also, the boys have started riding their bikes to school, which is sometimes faster than walking and sometimes NOT faster than walking depending on various factors (mostly Matthew). Also, the weather is getting colder, so some days we have to schedule more time to put on coats and hats and gloves (especially for Matthew). All of these variables make it difficult to set a predictable, clock-based routine. And nothing incapacitates Matthew more than a time deadline he's not sure he can meet. So, I think we've settled on James leaving when he needs to (no earlier than 7:30 by foot and 7:35 by bike) and an adult going with Matthew to school a little later (7:45 by foot or bike). I wonder how long they'll want to go by bike. 

James has also gotten together with a few 5th grade friends and proposed a school newspaper club. Robert's 4th grade teacher, Ms. Rush, agreed to supervise them, so now they meet after school once a week to work on it. Matthew does it, too, by default. The older kids like having him and another little brother in their club. Matthew loves it.

Matthew has been wrestling with James a lot more this week. He's getting better. And louder. They play SO loudly. Much of Matthew's time and energy is dominated by James. And he's so mild. I often wonder what he would be like without James' influence. James is a bright red, spicy salsa that punches you in the mouth and Matthew is a pale creamy butter that is subtle straight out of the fridge but so dark, rich, and flavorful under other circumstances. Matthew asked me to read out loud to him and chose a chapter book he had heard about from the school librarian. We got 3/4 the way through it when he learned that the ending would not be happy. Both Alex and James testified to it. Matthew was torn. He really liked this story and wanted to continue, but could not stomach a sad ending. He finally decided that he would stop reading it now so that he could imagine his own happy ending for the kids involved. And last night, he awoke scared. He called for James, but he didn't respond. He called for me, but I didn't hear. He turned on his bedtime story (which usually knocks him out in a few minutes) but it stopped working unexpectedly. That's when he came to my room and woke me up. He explained the situation and apologized over and over for asking me to help him calm down enough to go back to sleep. I assured him this was something I was happy to do for him. In the next couple school years, James will be at the middle school and Matthew will stay at the elementary school. There will be a few more opportunities to interact with Matthew without James around. I wonder what we'll see from Matthew then.

Robert continues to do well in school and work a little on the weekends. He really enjoys playing video games online with his friends. Last weekend, he joined 7 of his friends playing all at once! He has a dry sense of humor that makes me laugh out loud almost every day. Just the other day, he jokingly thanked me for making him take piano lessons because all that hand-eye coordination practice made him faster at video games. 

Alex works for the Urbana Park District bringing special activities to kids at an elementary after-school program. He likes working with the kids. He's a little frustrated, though, at how the adults approach the work and the kids. Such is gainful employment. He's also taking his high school's advanced child development class which runs a preschool. Every day this week, Alex came home with another hilarious or dramatic story from his preschool or after school adventures with kids. He's a pretty good storyteller. I'm wondering how that will play into his future training and career choices. 

Matthew is 9!

Happy Birthday, Matthew! You're officially 9, but you feel older than that. In fact, when you learned that the Ward Trunk or Treat fell on your birthday, you asked to celebrate it a day earlier so we could keep all the usual birthday traditions AND enjoy the ward activity. 

And celebrate, we did. There was no school on your birthday due to parent-teacher conferences. Your teacher had only wonderful, glowing things to say about you and your school work. You've found it challenging this year to work with a teacher who is much more fluid and loosey-goosey than you, but it's given you practice advocating for yourself and asking questions when expectations are unclear.

I was concerned about your math scores. Your teacher assured me everything was fine. And yes, your math scores are within grade level expectations, but they have been declining since Kindergarten. Your teacher suggested a little more practice. I sat with you while you used a school website to practice math. You had no problem grasping the concepts, but you got increasingly more distracted as the practice progressed. This was helpful for me to see.

Anyway, back to your birthday. Dad made you your favorite breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, buttery toast, and orange juice. It was crazy hard to wait until 7:15 to open presents, but you did it. It was a fine balance between letting the teenagers sleep in on their day off and having everyone there for present opening. You got a card with money from Gma and Gpa Evans, 2 Shel Silverstein books from Gma and Gpa Poulson, a family-size bag of Cheetos Puffs from James, and a pose-able Grogu toy from Mom and Dad.  

Alex wanted to give you a very, very special gift this year. It's actually good you decided to celebrate on a day with no school. We had to drive 90 minutes to Springfield to get your present! Alex took you to a Build-A-Bear where you got to create your own stuffy. You made a white axolotl with a Santa costume and a lightsaber. He has a heartbeat and smells like strawberries, too, I believe. The road trip was part of the fun. Alex drove. James came along, too. We listened to music and talked. After Build-A-Bear, we visited a candy shop in a Scheels store. In fact, it was the SAME Scheels store I visited just before my last triathlon. I had forgotten my luggage at home and had to pick up a few things for the race. You used some of your birthday money to purchase 4 different kinds of sour spray. Dude, you like sour stuff. 

We got home just in time for a birthday dinner with Erin. You chose Black Dog Barbecue for their fries and brisket. We stuck 9 candles into a carton of ice cream and sang "Happy Birthday" to you. You made a wish, but didn't tell us what it was, and you didn't spit on any of the ice cream! We ate ice cream sundaes and then you showed Erin some cool video game stuff until bedtime. 

It's been a great year for you, Matthew. You've stretched yourself in lots of ways. You make us laugh with your quirky sense of humor. I've been caught off guard more than once by your dry wit. You prefer to avoid conflict and will choose peacemaking over pride any day. You're standing up for yourself more, too, pushing back when Robert or James tries to dominate you unjustly. We've seen more anxiety from you lately. Night time is hard, especially when there are thunderstorms in the forecast or you've had a particularly nasty dream. You worry about a lot of things. You worry for a lot of people. It takes a toll on you. That said, you are awfully cheerful and silly most of the time. You pride yourself on being a good student AND being popular. I've seen you sacrifice things you love for people you love. One role you have taken on strong this year is acting as our family's health and safety inspector. You are set on reducing disease through good hygiene and eliminating accidents through meticulous attention to safety protocols. When I'm tempted to cut corners in either hygiene or safety, I think about the stern talking-to I'll get from you later, and I choose the better way. That's a good thing, Matthew, and I'm grateful for it.

Earlier this week, while you were home sick from school, you decided to practice being a dad. You had your baby doll and asked me all sorts of questions about what to expect and what to do to care for him. And, being the responsible sort of kid you are, you stuck to the routine: nap-feed-change diaper-play-nap-feed-change-diaper-play-nap, etc. You really tried. I had to laugh out loud when you said, "This is kinda hard. He sleeps a long time. How do you play with a baby?? And is this ALL he does?" Dude, I thought those EXACT same things as a mom with an infant. You decided to let your kids grow up. You had a toddler who liked to scoot around the house on a toy car. Then you homeschooled your preschooler and his friend. 

Here, you're introducing the letter of the day to your preschooler and his friend while your infant naps in the other room.

When music is playing, you can't help but dance.

When a toddler is near, his antics grab your attention and delight you.

When someone licks their finger, you insist on a thorough handwashing.

You decided you wanted to learn some magic tricks the other day. I helped you find a kid-friendly tutorial online and you practiced 13 different tricks. You got pretty good at a couple of them and totally surprised us. The look on your face was priceless...confidence, excitement, and delight. I guess that's something you're good at: delight. Is it your age? Your personality? You still feel delight regularly. Delight requires a certain element of innocence and trust and wonder that the other kids don't carry anymore. I love seeing it.

I love you, Matthew. Happy Birthday!

Now I'm Sick

Matthew, James, and I have finally caught whatever cold/flu was vexing Bobby, Alex, and Robert while we were away in WV and VA. It's no fun. I kinda thought they were overdramatizing their pain because we were gone, but this infection is totally worth all the moaning and groaning I heard. My apologies to Bobby, Alex, and Robert.

Before I got sick, we had a busy week. We bottled gallons of applesauce, chunky and smooth. I worked at the bike shop a couple of days and FINALLY came to understand the physics of a rear derailleur tune up! Huzzah! I also got to replace Robert's brake cable, which was awesome, and discovered his current bike is 2 sizes too small for him. He's now officially 5'9", which makes him too tall for ANY of the bikes we currently own. Semi-related story:

Alex came home from Youth Activities one evening and said that a girl from another ward pointed out Robert and mentioned he was pretty cute. Alex, aghast, informed this friend that Robert was his BROTHER and only 13 years old. This friend is 15. Robert didn't mind hearing this story. He kinda liked being mistaken for an older boy (I bet being called "cute" wasn't too bad for his ego, either).

Bobby's toothache turned out to be a dying nerve and one heck of an infection. Once the nerve finally died and the infection was treated with major doses of antibiotics, his pain disappeared. The root canal will be pretty difficult. He's got curvy roots. That's scheduled for January.

Matthew also turned 9 years old. I'll put that into another post :)

Cycling West Virginia and Virginia

For the second half of Fall Break, I wanted to cycle 50 miles in two states that I had missed a couple years earlier. I was scheduled to ride in West Virginia and Virginia with Rachel in October 2021, but I was having a serious bout of anxiety then and my symptoms made it impossible to train or even attempt the rides. I made the trip to West Virginia, though, to support Rachel and be there in case of an emergency. This particular trail was in the middle of nowhere and didn't have good cell service.

She did the rides and I didn't. That put me 2 rides behind. Anxiety also kept me from riding with Rachel in Maryland, Delaware, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Tennessee that school year. 

Dumb anxiety.

So, while I continue to ride with Rachel our 8 states a year until 2027, I now need to make-up those 8 states somewhere in between. Sure, I have until 2029 before I turn 50, but I would rather finish on Alaska or Hawaii with Rachel and our families altogether. Ending on Alabama on my own would feel kinda anti-climactic, y'know?

I knew that taking another 4 days away from my family after 2 recent biking trips in Sep and Oct was a tall order. We settled on this: Bobby (who had to work) would stay home with Alex (who had to work) and Robert (who can't stand to travel) while I (eager to check off two more states) would take James (always ready to go somewhere) and Matthew (don't you dare leave me alone) with me.

We packed a DVD player, stocked up on audio books, and borrowed Erin's PS4 gaming system to give the boys something safe (i.e. off the internet and TV) to do while I was on my rides. It was sometimes difficult to have the boys with me (you should see my smart watch stress readings for that trip!!), but it was also a lot more fun with them along. They're pretty flexible. They're pretty easily satisfied. They still like to do things out and about. 

It was very hard for me to leave them alone for 4 hours at a time in an unfamiliar hotel room or VRBO. I knew they would be physically safe. James is responsible enough to get out of a burning building, call 911 in an emergency, and comfort Matthew as needed. They were never far from other adults who could help them in an emergency. I just didn't want it to come to that. I also worried about Matthew getting nervous to the point of a panic attack. What if...what if...what if...he's pretty good at the "what if" game.

But it was fine. Even when we accidentally left their cell phone plugged in and all of my check-in calls went straight to voicemail (ARGH!!), Matthew realized he hadn't heard from me in a while and did a very sensible thing in a very calm manner. He picked up the cell phone, unplugged it, and gave me a call. Then he texted me "I love you" and "Moo moo moo". On a flip phone. With only a number pad. Without my giving him any instructions beforehand. Wow! He was capable of so much more than I had feared! 

Ready for some digital fun without Mom!

I sent them this selfie when my calls weren't going through. I thought, "If Matthew is freaking out that I haven't called to check in, maybe he'll see this text and feel assured. And if something terrible has happened, DCFS will have this phone evidence that I tried diligently to keep in contact with my children while I was away."

Susan, Susan, Susan. 

The boys never once worried in my absence. Minecraft and movies have a way of warping time. When I got home, it looked like a preschool frat party: DVDs and cases scattered about, empty juice boxes littering the floor, and Matthew smiling at me wearing nothing but his underwear.

We had to check out of our hotels/VRBOs by 10am, so I broke my rides into segments. I still got 50 miles in each state, but some were ridden the night before and some were ridden the next morning before 10. It went like this:

Day 1: 10mi at night

Day 2: 40mi in the morning, 34 mi after 7pm

Day 3: 16mi before 10am

On Day 2, that's a total of 74 miles with 2500ft of elevation gain. I should have thought about this more before doing it. Or not. I don't think I had much of a choice with the little boys coming along. That hurt. A lot.

Between my rides on Day 2, we visited Lost World Caverns in Lewisburg, WV. That place was awesome. I had seen cave formations in Timpanogos Cave in American Fork, UT, but this cavern was on a completely different scale. Huge, huge, huge. Enormous formations with features I had never seen in Timp Cave. 

This picture doesn't do it justice. 

They know how to stand and smile for a normal looking picture, I swear, but are they capable of it? Hmmm.

This formation was called Smurf Village. Crazy Matthew pose.

Matthew used some birthday money to purchase a hot pink python stuffy. James used his own money to purchase a hefty piece of smoky quartz.

Take a picture of it strangling me!

In Virginia, we stayed at a VRBO called the Tiny House. This is a terrible picture (argh!) but Matthew is on the front porch to give you some sense of scale. It was a very large, 2-story shed with a spiral staircase. There were several things about it that literally felt like sleeping in a shed, but it had just enough home-like ambiance that James could envision himself living in it as an adult. Before this trip, he was thinking he'd like to live in a small house with just the basic things he would need: bathroom, stove, fridge, bed, dog. That was one of the reasons I chose this place to stay. James couldn't stop talking about it to me. In fact, he was taking measurements and making plans to remodel. Here was an actual, physical example of something he had only dreamed about.  

Once the rides were done, we started the long drive back home. We stopped to eat dinner at Grandpa's restaurant: Bob Evans. You make a good coleslaw, Bob, and I was grateful for the green salad to divide between my kids, but your seasonal fruit plate needs some work. The boys give your chicken strips two thumbs up.

We were actually in Columbus, OH.

We were glad to get home. While we were away, Bobby and the older boys got sick. Bobby got a nasty toothache, too. Alex netted $400 from the Fall Break Camp he worked at. Robert reached levels higher than ever on his video game, mastering some techniques that he never had time enough to develop before. 

And now that I'm done blogging about this crazy adventurous week, I can catch up on all the things at home. I don't mind doing familiar things in familiar places after a week like that. Out of the last 13 nights, I slept in my own bed for only 4 of them. 

Indy Zoo with the Boys

Well, the boys and I went camping over Fall Break (see previous post) and spent a day at the Indianapolis Zoo. This was an outing from Matthew's 8-while-8 list.

And while it was a very typical trip to the zoo, there were a few things I'd like to remember above the rest. We really got up close and personal with the animals this time. 

Matthew looooved touching actual sharks and rays in the "petting pool."

We went behind the scenes after the dolphin show and learned about their care and training. We were given the chance to meet a dolphin one-on-one. Here is James' experience:

I got to do it, too. Matthew opted out, citing concerns that he wouldn't be able to let go in time and would accidentally get pulled into the pool. I asked about his adventuring mode and he let me know that it's not really something he does in public. He's too afraid to do it in public. Good to know.

After the dolphin experience, we took the sky tram over the orangutan exhibit. This enclosure has a few tall I-beams with footholds that extend several stories above the outer walls. There was at least one orangutan who climbed up to the very, very top. Eye level with the folks in the tram. Matthew and James were awfully nervous about the height, but that orangutan didn't seem to mind it at all. 

While waiting in line for the tram, I challenged the boys to a selfie contest.

Here's my entry.

Jamesy was next.

And this was Matthew's entry. He was 100% intentional about taking a picture that did not include a single one of us. Silly boy. He laughed and laughed and laughed.

Also while waiting in line for the tram (it was kinda long), the lighting was just perfect so I could see how different the boys' eye colors were. Matthew's are pure blue. James' are blue-green with bursts of hazel/brown. It was stunning and beautiful. I wanted a picture of it. This was their first response to my request for an eye photo. Stinkers. 

This was the best photo I could capture. Ugh. One of these days, boys, one of these days.

After the tram, we tried the zoo roller coaster ride. Matthew took a little convincing. I hoped it would be something like the bridge the night before...scary at first but fun in the end. I prepped him that roller coasters are fun because it is the *feeling* of peril without *actual* peril. 

No. actual. peril. 

Well, we clamped the safety bar as tight as my femur could tolerate and I placed my arm like a seat belt across his upper body and held on tight, pressing him into the seat back. He said that helped. Well, not for long. He screamed the entire way in *actual* terror. It was a short and not-too-scary ride, thankfully, but then there was a second round. Matthew wailed. When it was time to get off, he couldn't leave fast enough. He recovered splendidly, though, when he found out James wasn't too fond of it, either. James didn't like how it made his insides feel. Okay, okay, they're not roller coaster junkies.

It occurred to me then that my family may never be the "pack up in a camper and explore" family that I had envisioned. I thought we weren't traveling or doing adventurous things because the kids were too little. Or the adults were too tired. Now that I have older kids and a little more energy, I'm ready to play! I want to try roller coasters again, and skydiving for once, and mountain biking, and hiking the Grand Canyon again. My fam just isn't into it. James, maybe, will do these things with me. And Matthew will come because he doesn't want to be without James or me, but he won't enjoy it. I think Alex will give it a go, too, but only so he's not left out. 

It's important, then, that I make time for vacations/activities that our family DOES enjoy doing together. Gotta give that a good think.

We got up close and personal with some birds, too. We got to hand feed budgies and lorikeets.

James with the lorikeets. They were loud, cheeky, and beaky, lapping up the sweet liquid with their funny tongues. They used their beaks like hands, moving along branches, grabbing the edge of the cup. One nipped at James' ear and screeched loudly when it didn't yield nectar. They would contort into the strangest poses to reach a nectar cup. One actually hung upside down by one claw to stretch out and lick it.

Budgies were a little more polite. There was a little blob of bird seed hot-glued to the end of a long stick. They flew over and landed on the stick trying to wrestle the seeds from the glue with their beaks. 

We saw sea creatures, forest animals, and arctic birds. We saw black crocodiles, a tiger, and Capuchin monkeys stretched out on patches of sunlight. It was a pretty cool morning. We explored the zoo's special Halloween fair with black cats, snakes, and miniature ponies on exhibit. Matthew begged to go into the hall of mirrors. He wanted to go in on his own, but James latched on and they went together. I followed behind far enough that I couldn't see them. Matthew LOVED it. I was a little freaked out. I wouldn't have made it through if it weren't for all the smudgy hand and face prints on all the mirrors about 3 feet from the floor. 

An excellent outing. One of my favorites. Thanks, Matthew, for the extra nudge to get out and do it!

It's the Final Campout

James, Matthew, and I took a couple days this Fall Break to camp, hike, and visit the Indianapolis Zoo. It was the last of James' birthday goal campouts and the second to last outing on Matthew's 8-while-8 goals. We couldn't have ended on a better note! 

First of all, the weather was PERFECT. 

Matthew woke up the second morning, opened the tent door, and exclaimed, "Wow! This place is beautiful!" This is what he was looking at. 

Second, the boys had been back in school for a few weeks, so a camping trip was actually fun and different from the norm. Both of the boys said several times, "I just love camping 'cuz you don't have to do anything. You just get to do what you want!" 

Third, the campground we chose was pretty nice: White River Campground in Cicero, IN. It wasn't swanky, but it had the most important bits (running water, flush toilets) and it felt supremely safe. We were surrounded by grandparents in campers with their grandkids. 

Here we are on the first night on the huge, lit-up bridge that connected our campground to a nature preserve next door. Matthew initially was too scared to go onto the bridge since he couldn't see how deep the water was. He was concerned the bridge could possibly break. James went barreling ahead. Matthew put on his adventuring attitude, though, and braved it with us, finding it pretty fun in the end. As long as he didn't get too close to the gaps between the slats.

We went for a short hike in the nature preserve the next day. Matthew was wearing his moose pajamas and James gave me a unicorn horn for this shadow picture.

Matthew took this panorama picture of our campsite.

Fourth, the boys did a lot of the work. They packed their own suitcases and bedding, put up the tent, unloaded the car, cooked the meals (with supervision), and helped with all the take down and repacking, too. No complaining. Best camping trip ever. 

We forgot to bring the roasting sticks. No worries! Matthew is on the case. He soon discovered that snow gloves aren't durable oven mitts, but none of the melted plastic got onto him or our food. Whew.

The boys putting up the tent. It's a pretty straightforward setup, but how many people even know how to do this anymore?

Mathew was taking artsy pictures with my phone. Here, I'm filling the pot for oatmeal.

Fifth, the outings were especially interesting:

We stopped at a sports car dealership. Here are the boys with a Lamborghini.

And here they are with a Lotus specially created to look like one from a James Bond movie. This was our first in-person experience with a Lotus. James loves seeing these cars at dealerships, but he gets crazy excited when he sees them, as he says, "in the wild."

There was a natural history museum nearby. We got to tour models of Native American structures from the region and read about the different peoples who lived in this area before Europeans arrived. We saw skeletons and furs of native animals. James found a microscope and looked at various things. 

After the natural history museum, we visited a nature preserve about 30 minutes away. This is Matthew posing as an adventurer/explorer. They had a program called "Owls of Indiana" where the presenter brought out several owls and hawks that he had been conditioning for educational presentations like this one. They were awesome. A few of the more memorable moments involved an enormous red tailed hawk shooting feces almost 7 feet behind it, the cutest little screech owl in existence (even though he was fully grown and 30 years old!), and a couple birds of prey eating dead mice...they've all got their own methods...the boys had to turn away once or twice. The facility had a huge tortoise named Chumley. The boys thought he was alright, but they really loved hearing a 4-year-old running towards him shouting excitedly, "Chumley! We're back, Chumley!! Where are you, Chumley?" 

On the second day of our camping trip, we headed to the Indianapolis Zoo. That's another blog post altogether. Stay tuned.