Trunk-or-Treat!

James' birthday dream finally came together on Friday night at the Ward Trunk or Treat. While everyone else was inside the church building eating dinner, we were setting up tables and games outside in the parking lot. We took up 4 parking spots right under the lamp post. As people started coming out to the parking lot, we were ready. 

Nobody came. Nobody saw us. We weren't on the main drag. 

James started to lose hope, but I knew we had something people would love once they saw it. 

Finally, a few kids trickled by and tried it out, then more and more and more. Kids could play the games for candy or for raffle tickets. At first, I thought we were going to run out of candy, but nope! Hundreds of tickets went towards 5 different prizes that James had purchased with his own money: remote control car, light-up razor scooter, Rock-em Sock-em Robots, Nerf machine gun, and a Discovery Science Chemistry kit. We were hopping busy the whole hour. 

Bobby ran the sucker pull for kids 5 and under, Erin ran the Needle in a Haystack game, I ran the toss game, and James managed the raffle table. We learned a few things about running games in a free-wheeling environment like this one...kids will cheat...parents will help kids cheat..."it's all just for fun, right?"..."what's the big deal?" 

Grrrr. Well, we'll have better crowd control next time. And, I thought the games would most appeal to kids 12-16, but 90% of the players were 6-10 years old. We only got a couple of YM/YW trying it out. 

My favorite part was watching James be the Master of Ceremony. He was in his element. He talked it up, built suspense, gathered people around, and answered their questions. The final drawings were noisy and thrilling and fun. Whole families cheered the winners and consoled the losers. We were all pretty tired by the end. Erin went home hoarse. My feet were aching. 

James was elated. Matthew was buzzing with excitement and ready for bed all at once. James and I stayed up to watch a couple of movies together. All told, a great night. Several people commented on how fun it was and how cool our family was...I just pointed over to James and said it was all his idea. And that's true. We wouldn't be doing it without him. In fact, I wouldn't even be AT this event if it weren't for James' thrill for putting this on. His excitement made me want to support him in it, and we all ended up having more fun. That's one major plus to having kids. I may miss that part when we're empty-nesters. 

Matthew's BDay Party

Matthew had a birthday party yesterday. His first friend birthday party ever. At age 12. 

Thanks, Covid.

No, I can't really blame Covid for everything. Matthew's personality is such that friend parties weren't a natural extension for him. It didn't help, however, having Kindergarten and half of 1st grade online, followed by 1.5 years of masked schooling afterwards. Matthew experienced 3 whole formative years 1) afraid to get too close to people and 2) engaging with peers through masks. That kind of thing is gonna leave a mark.

But I digress. We had a party! And it was a very Mathew party. He invited only 5 kids, his closest friend circle. 

The plan was to meet up at a local trampoline park, then drive the kids to our house for pizza and s'mores. We arrived at the park dead last *blush* but the other parents were nice about it.* One parent decided to stay for the trampoline park portion. I had mixed feelings about that because I was kinda hoping to use that time to catch up on correspondence and homework. I'm glad she stayed, though. The conversation was good, the time passed quickly, and she helped shuttle the kids from the trampoline park to our house (two kids hadn't RSVP'd, so I hadn't planned on transporting them, so I was going to have to call Bobby to bring a second car, but this parent saved the day!).

The kids ran and jumped until they were crazy sweaty and tired, then they informed us that they were done and ready for lunch. It was almost a mutiny, but a kind one, and not too much before the time I had planned to leave anyway.

All but two of the kids piled into our minivan. One kid was impressed that every seat had plug-ins and asked if he could be DJ. Another kid pulled out a Nintendo Switch and let us know which game he was playing. Matthew and a third kid were in the very back requesting Michael Jackson songs.

I turned on "Beat It" and the whole car broke out into song. They ALL knew ALL the words, thanks to their shared music and dance class. Matthew tells me that group singing is pretty common on school trips. Their classes are small, their busses only seat 14 students, and one of their regular teachers is usually the driver, so class trips are more like family road trips than anything else. On his last field trip, they sang all the way out and told dumb jokes all the way back. 

I was a little nervous about bringing his friends to our house. We don't live like a lot of folks in west Champaign. Our house is old, in an older neighborhood, and it feels small to me. One kid was shocked that we had a garden. One kid walked in and said, "Yep, smells like a house!" The video game kid instantly noticed the gaming PC, the Steam Deck, the Switch 2, the DS, the VR goggles, and the PS4. He asked if he could live here. Matthew and James showed them their rooms. One kid said seeing James' weapon collection was the best part of the whole day. Another kid asked to chill out in the chill-out box James built for Matthew. Matthew was a great host. They moved from pizza to gifts to s'mores to cooperative video games in a fluid and cohesive mass that needed very little instruction. 

They were a whole gaggle of nerds, giving nerdy gifts, and telling nerdy jokes, but each came from his/her own unique background. I marveled at how willingly they shared about themselves and how openly they accepted what other people shared. I guess I had forgotten what a friend group was like. 

Matthew had a great time. It was awesome seeing him in a friend context. Even Robert commented on it. 

I took a few pictures, but I won't publish them here. I would definitely do something like this again for Matthew and his friends. Not too soon. They have plans to go trick-or-treating together on Halloween. I'm glad they'll be doing it together, and I'm glad it won't be at our house :) This year.  

 

*Once we sent out the invitations a couple weeks ago, I completely forgot about this party. The Trunk or Treat took up a lot of our week, so the house and the car were a mess. I hadn't showered in some time. I/We had a lot of preparation to do before we could leave for the trampoline park: tidy the living room, deep clean just one bathroom, set up the backyard for the campfire, thoroughly clean out the van, so on and so forth. We got to the park 15 minutes late. Erk. 

Recent Happenings

I uploaded the pictures from my phone today and rediscovered several little things that I wanted to note on the blog...

Lukas

Still living the dream in college. He sent me this via email: 

Here's a bunch of stuff you can share with people in your blog

- joined fencing club

- started karate classes at the rec center

- started teaching my friend to swim

- working on a text based game (using HTML, cash and twee)

- joined medieval combat club

- started learning ASL

- started learning Python

I've heard more about his computer science adventures. He loves it. He's called Bobby once or twice to get help with an assignment. And now, he's looking to build his own gaming computer. 

Robert

Still tinkering with the right mix of activities and obligations to optimize efficiency, current happiness, and future success. He recently worked with friends on a float for homecoming. His sprained ankle is pretty much back to normal. He's been doing all of the physical therapy exercises his PT prescribed. 

This is one of the few pictures I have of Robert at this age. Even more rare is a picture of that genuine smile of his. He prefers to look somewhere between neutral and intimidating in less candid photos.  

Nova adores Robert. She'll leave her bed or sunny spot on the couch to welcome him home. She can count on him for scratches and peanuts and deliciously sweaty arms and hands after a workout. He's also the one to give her dinner half the time, so she doesn't like to leave him alone when it's getting close to dinner time. 

James

When the weather turns cooler in the fall, we like to have campfires in the backyard. James always likes a good fire...for all sorts of things besides sitting around and chatting. Most recently, he's taken up a primitive form of blacksmithing. 

"Blacksmithing" in the campfire. One metal rod, a roaring fire with blazing coals, a hammer, and some heat protection (oven mitt and a kitchen towel over his face) make for a pleasant fall evening. 

James even managed to convince Matthew to give it a try. That speaks to James' persuasive power when he's talking about something he loves. 

He started another smithing fire the next day. Here, he's kicking back with a root beer until the coals get hot enough.

Matthew

This boy has come alive in sixth grade! His anxiety is still a powerful force to be reckoned with, but it's shifted. He no longer has any problem going to school in the morning. He's motivated and willing to do homework whenever he has it, which is often. Last year, the mere thought of homework would cause him to literally lose control of his body in a panic. This year, homework is still very stressful, but if I sit with him in a separate, quiet place, and everyone else is banished from the room, we can work through it...eventually...with maybe one panic attack a week instead of every day. He has also been able to come into the chapel for Sacrament Meeting on Sundays. He's wearing pajamas and tennis shoes, and he requires constant engagement, but he's there and happy to be there. That's all progress. 

Part of the "fun" of middle school is going to different teachers for each subject. He says the day seems to move faster. It also means the homework is broken up a little more. He can do some of it in class, a little more during the required "study hall" period at the end of the day, and then finish it at home. Sometimes, he can do it with little encouragement. Other times, I need to pull out the mini chocolate chips or marshmallows. 

A sampling of mini marshmallow sizes from a single 1-cup serving that Matthew found while struggling through a few math problems. See the worksheet beneath his hand? See the dog that insists on following me into every room?

In his English class, they read through "The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton. When they finished the unit, they were able to watch the movie in class and dress up as either a "greaser" or a "soc." Matthew picked greaser.

The hair gel dried hard and crusty, so his hair stayed in place all day. He showered it out the moment he got home. He decided that he never needed to try that hairstyle again. 

Another English assignment was to read a new book and create a review/ad poster for it. We were so focused on the short-term homework assignments that this one got lost until there was only a week left and he hadn't even read the book yet. It turns out, 4-5 chapters in, there was some language so strong that Matthew decided he shouldn't read the rest of the book. It was more than a little panicky at our house until we finally settled on a new book that would work. An audiobook, actually, since reading that many chapters under such time pressure would trigger a series of paralytic panic attacks. He listened, and listened, and listened until he was sick of listening. The next day, I offered to take him and James on a long drive to listen some more. We ended up on a hike at Kickapoo State Park.

The boys taking a side trail to the river's edge.

It was very, very dry this year. so they're actually standing on a little sand/rock bar about 1/3 of the way across the river gorge. 

In history class, while they were learning about the Romans, they were invited to wear togas on Tuesdays. Matthew really liked the toga look. James let him borrow the laurel wreath he made back when he was doing Toga Tuesdays in 6th grade. 

Is this how a Roman eats his yogurt?

Matthew has also been struck this year with a hundred things he wants to do or try sometime in his life. He gets panicky a couple times a week when he suddenly feels like he'll never have enough time or focus to do all of them. Or, even worse, he's overwhelmed with the feeling that he'll fail at all of them...*sigh*...the struggle against Matthew's anxiety-brain is real, and pretty much constant. 

One of the things he wanted to try was putting on a fancy, restaurant-style 3-course meal for our family. It took a decent amount of planning and prompting to keep him on task, but he did it, and he did it really well. Robert and James were also very good sports about it all.

I snapped a photo of Matthew's 3-course dinner plan: handmade focaccia appetizer, tailored pasta main, a couple of sides, pumpkin pie for dessert, and 10 different beverage options. 

This is how Matthew and Nova looked at the start of the night.

This is how they ended in the morning. She digs his super-soft blanket. 

The Garden

The garden has been doing well this year. I unintentionally planted my cukes and beans pretty late, but that worked out for the best. They're ready to harvest now that the kids are back in school. I have more time to pick and process them! Suh-weet. I might do that again next year. I planted the okra and peppers late, but they haven't been nearly as happy. 

 

Fresh pickles for the fridge and green beans for the freezer.

I can't remember why Matthew asked me to take a picture of this spinach, but it's from my garden, and it was DELICIOUS!

Nova

This little lady got a cold, and it was a bad one. She didn't feel good at all. It lasted a couple of weeks, then got better, then she got really sick. It turns out, she had developed a pretty nasty case of secondary pneumonia. 

Nova passed out on the Vet ER floor after a chest x-ray. She's a wee bit loopy from the sedation.

We got antibiotics, she got better over the next week, then a few days later, she got much, much worse. Apparently the first round of antibiotics didn't quite kill everything and it came back hard. So, after another ER visit, another set of chest x-rays, and another round of antibiotics, Nova is feeling significantly better. Seriously, folks, if we didn't have money set aside to pay this girl's medical bills she would have died three times already: bowel obstruction, pneumonia, pneumonia.

James

James turned 14 this weekend! Happy Birthday!

Friday night was a sleepover at Erin's house. He's not sure how late he stayed up, but when he came home the next morning at 8:30, he went straight to bed and didn't get up again until noon. 

A little later, Bobby took him to the grocery store to pick out ice cream for his birthday dessert and they (together) picked out no less than FOUR birthday desserts...cheesecake, chocolate ice cream, raspberry sorbet, and mango bars. I kid you not. 

On their way home from the grocery store, James spotted a little weiner dog wandering up and down the sidewalk without a collar. Bobby pulled over and James immediately hopped out, running to the dog's aid. She was a little cautious of strangers, but she generally appeared healthy and pleasant. They brought her to the house for a minute before going to the humane society. Nova liked her instantly, and the little dog liked Nova, too. The humane society folks discovered that she had a subdermal ID chip and left a message for the owner on record. We asked the humane society to contact us if the owner didn't show up. We are NOT in the market for another dog, but we'd be willing to foster her. Why did we fall in love with her so quickly? Maybe she reminded us of Erin's dog, Ruby. Maybe we took pity on her age...greying fur and cloudy eyes. Maybe her easy-going manner and friendliness with Nova made it easy to sketch her into our family's future. I dunno. She was clearly a loved dog and was likely home within an hour of notifying the owner. 

But I couldn't have planned a better birthday present than A DOG RESCUE for my James. 

That evening, we picked up Erin and went to dinner at James' favorite restaurant, Biaggi's. He had chicken alfredo, Bobby had a seafood risotto, Matthew got plain noodles, and Erin and I chose the broiled salmon salad. Sooooooo good. Robert didn't eat or drink a single thing. He said he wasn't hungry. I believed him. He sat there during the dinner completely detached from the conversation. I wondered for a moment why he came at all, then felt guilty for that thought. He came to be with the family celebrating James' birthday. Do I wish he did it a little differently? Yes. Do I recognize that this was a genuine gesture given out of love or obligation or some mixture of the two? Yes. He gets points for that ;)

At dinner, I asked James about any goals he'd like to pursue for his 15th year. He grinned deeply and said, "Camping." I think I rolled my eyes. Camping is a whole lot more work for me than for him. He said he was joking, but I kinda knew he wasn't joking. I decided to chat with him about it later.

Later that night, once Matthew fell asleep, James asked to talk to me. He was having a lot of mixed feelings about his birthday gifts. He had asked for money with the intent to eventually purchase a gas-powered go-kart with it. Now he was second-guessing himself. James knows that stuff doesn't make him happy very long. He loves to spend money, and to think about spending money, but the souvenirs and things that he's bought so far have eventually lost their appeal and become utterly forgettable. Every once in a while, he'll go through his room and gather together a bunch of stuff that he doesn't want anymore. Then he wraps it all up like presents and gives it to other people who might enjoy it. A lot of things end up as random, unsolicited, gifts to his siblings, friends, and teachers. He likes their surprise and joy. A lot. 

We were chatting about this when he suddenly remembered the Trunk or Treat. 

His eyes lit up and he got a huge smile on his face. 

Did I tell you about James' casino at last year's Trunk or Treat? Kids could trade candy for turns at a variety of games of chance. The kids easily won prizes or more candy. James didn't even want any of the candy he took in. He ended up putting it all together in a jackpot that one lucky kid got to take home at the end of the night. THAT is the kind of thing that ACTUALLY makes James happy...creating fun and interesting ways to give things to other people...creating the events he wished he could have participated in at that age. 

So, that's what he's doing with some of his birthday money. He's going to pour his creative generosity into the biggest, most exciting Trunk or Treat event ever.

I did get to talk to James later about his goals for his 15th year. He said he liked camping, but he'd really like to learn how to catch and clean fish for eating. Not just a class or workshop. He wants to be living out in the wild catching and prepping fish for his own supper. Especially salmon. He knows he likes to eat salmon. 

Something about this idea got me excited. It might even be worth renting an RV and taking a good, long time at it...hiking, boating, biking, exploring...could we do it for 15 days? Maybe 5-6 days at a time?

Summer 2026

What a summer! I barely had time to think, much less process it all on the blog piece by piece, so I've got my handy dandy summer calendar right next to me. Let's do this chronologically, shall we?

May

I know, I know, it's not really summer yet in May, but Lukas was done with school May 9th! James and I helped him move out of his dorm. That was a beast. Thankfully, the dorm elevators were all working this time. Lukas ended up renting a small storage unit for the items he knew wouldn't fit in the van. He planned it all out REALLY well and handled the time pressure with ease. I'm proud of that kid! Er, uh, adult? Man? Guy? People don't really say "I'm proud of..." an adult. But I am. We moved him into Erin's guest room, where he lived all summer. It was pretty cool to have him nearby and yet independent of the day-to-day craziness. The younger boys were completely excited whenever Lukas came over for anything. He's kinda become the cool uncle, of sorts. Matthew will call him whenever he needs something or has a question.

The two youngest boys finished school just before Memorial Day. I threw them in the van and we went on a road trip to New Jersey, just the three of us. I think this was one of the first times in my life that I actually enjoyed a road trip. I rode 50 miles on my bike (state #42) and we ate a lot of pizza. 

June

James had a science/engineering camp at his school the first week of June. Not his favorite. He did like, however, all of the freedom the instructors gave the kids to create and tinker on their own. He said it was the first time camp leaders didn't treat him like a baby. I always thought James just liked building, but I learned this summer, finally, that James actually likes free access to a piled mess of interesting components and tools. The messier, the better. Barely organized chaos like the Bike Project (a community co-op bike shop we frequent) quickly overwhelms me, but it's heaven on earth for James. That's why he likes Art Club so much. They just get to create stuff with whatever is in the classroom cabinets. 

The very next week, Robert and James traveled to Kirtland, OH, with the youth in our stake for Youth Conference. It was a looooong bus ride, two days of crazy hot, humid hijinks and spiritual highs, then a looooong bus ride back. A youth leader told me he was impressed with Robert's eloquence. Other adults remarked on his deep thinking and thorough analysis. One leader told me that James was one of the youth who bore testimony in the Kirtland temple.

The week after that, Matthew took a class at a local Maker Space. It was the first time I had been there. I thought James might like to spend some free time there this summer, too, but it was FAR too organized and supervised for his taste. Matthew's class was a 2-D Game Lab where he got to develop his own video game (one of his goals). It was sort of a bust, but he did come up with a hilarious game idea that I would love to see him develop sometime later in his life. It's about a button that the bad guy does NOT want you to push.

Father's Day weekend, I popped off to Oregon solo to ride the Petal Pedal with Rachel (state #43). While in Portland, I got to catch up with my old college roommates Julia and Karen. We ate very delicious Mediterranean food. They took me and Rachel to a fantastic rose garden. I thought I didn't like roses very much, in general, since they have a stuffy reputation, but the huge variety of roses was amazing. I even saw one type that I wouldn't mind growing at home: climbing roses. We also visited the largest bookstore in the world. Seriously huge. And yes, Portland is weird. Very, very weird. Julia wouldn't have it any other way!

About mid-June, Lukas started work at the Anita Purves Nature Center as a Nature Day Camp Counselor. He loved, loved, loved the job and working with the kids, despite his new supervisor/coordinator having no experience with the job or with kids in general. Lukas always has a good camp story to share.

July

We celebrated Erin's birthday, then left for Alaska! It was me, Bobby, James, and Matthew traveling together. No Lukas or Robert. Lukas had to work, but he and Robert kinda felt the same way about traveling far away from friends and comforts just to stay in close quarters in strange places with the whole family. Neither one of them is very outdoorsy or travel-hungry or extroverted. In fact, they barely even saw each other for the whole 11 days we were gone. Robert enjoyed having the car to use whenever he wanted it. He played tennis, worked out at the gym, met up with friends, went to church and youth activities, shopped for groceries, cooked, and did a whole bunch of extra chores at home for me. Nova was staying with Ruby at a doggy daycare and boarding facility. 

So, the rest of us spent a few days in Anchorage where I rode 50 miles with Rachel (state #44). Erin joined us the next day and we took a 7-day cruise from Seward, AK, to Vancouver, BC. We saw so much. We ate so much more. On that one trip, we rode a plane, train, shuttle, bus, car, boat, ATV, gondola, dog sled, and Unimog. I'm probably missing something in that list. Matthew's anxiety was pretty manageable. The best part was seeing James and Matthew grow in confidence and independence. Matthew took on several of his fears: riding in boats, heights, speed, bridges over water, new foods, and large crowds to name a few. We saw a couple of magic shows and he totally lit up. Erin and I went to see live music and dancing. Both boys were comfortable going anywhere on the ship on their own. James loved the shore excursions like halibut fishing, ATV touring, and the musher's camp, but he found the ship itself kinda boring. We ate way, way, way too many chocolate croissants. Erin took the boys to dinner at Le Petit Chef (our dining room waiter set us up with a sweet discount, kinda hush-hush, or so they wanted us to believe). I loved eating a 3-course dinner in the dining room every night and the boys even came sometimes. They both learned that they like Caeser salad. We learned that James LOVES shopping and Matthew is completely overwhelmed by it. It doesn't even matter what you're shopping for. He just can't be in a large shopping area very long without triggering his anxiety.

The cruise ended in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. A foreign country. 

Earlier this summer, Matthew had a panic attack the moment we were leaving for the boys' passport application appointments. Matthew, therefore, didn't get a passport in time for the cruise. The TSA and airline research I did online indicated that a child's birth certificate would be enough to fly internationally from Canada to the U.S...wrong. It turns out that a child's birth certificate is enough to cross the border by land or sea, but not by air. While everyone else got on a plane, Matthew and I rented a car and drove across the border to Seattle. He felt like we were smuggling him in. 

A week after we got back from Alaska, most of us headed to Branson, MO, for an Evans Family Reunion. Bobby, me, Robert, James, and Matthew. Lukas opted to stay at work. Bob and Loretta reserved a HUGE lodge that would fit all five of their kids and their families in one spot. Holy moly. Considering Matthew's anxiety, James' anxiety, and the specific environmental cues that provoke those anxieties, we decided to try staying in a different house nearish to the lodge. It was an experiment. It had its pluses and minuses. The place itself wasn't awesome, but we got to start and end each day as "just us", which was a long, beautiful sigh of relief. On the bad side, we missed out on a lot of conversations and decisions at the lodge. I felt like we were often playing catch up, and that we were infringing on others' space. So, there's no easy answer about what we might do next time.

Maybe it was the cousins' ages or their unfamiliarity with each other, but they didn't really play together much. Sure, they played pool and air hockey together. They watched TV and swam together, too, but just because other kids happened to be there doing those things at the same time. It was activity-led play, not relationship-led play. I wasn't much better with the adults, to be honest. I really enjoyed the small group talks...a walk with Gma and Gpa, chatting with individual adults on the porch or at the fish farm, sitting a few minutes with one of the two extroverts, joining a conversation in the smallish living room area just off the kitchen where only 5-6 people could gather. I really liked those moments. I struggled being a parent in front of other parents whose opinions really mattered to me. I second-guessed myself constantly, wondering what they might think about this or that or the other thing that I did with my kids. I tried to play it cool, but there was this whole internal dialog in my head...ugh.

Robert did puzzles with grandparents and played pool with cousins. He also found a 24-hour gym that he could go to in the evenings. James watched TV and enjoyed the snacks. Matthew spent a lot of time on a screen. We did have some pretty neat outings, though, which the younger boys enjoyed. We saw an acrobat show with EVERYONE. Gma and Gpa were given VIP treatment when they made the reservation. We all got front or second row seats. We toured a fish farm, which was cooler than I thought it would be. I took the boys to a butterfly house, but it had other attractions as well. We had a riot in the hall of mirrors. Oh, man. Then another day, Bobby and I took Matthew to a theme park. He rode on his first real roller coaster, a river raft ride, and several other attractions. It was amazing to see him tackle his fears and have so much fun. 

August

This was a short month, since school started up again on the 18th, but we crammed in plenty! Matthew attended another round of 2-D Game Lab. He made no progress on his actual game. He decided that he liked the storytelling more than the coding (surprised?) and would focus more on that from here on out.

As soon as Matthew's lab was over, I threw him and James in the van for a cross-country car trip to Utah. We had the ultimate flexibility of going where we wanted and stopping whenever we wanted. It was a long drive (24 hours over 3 days), but we got to Salt Lake City in time to tour The Great Salt Lake with my sisters Lara and Heidi. The shore was disgusting. It reeked of sewage and was absolutely infested with flying insects. The birds were cool, but no one had cleaned up their droppings in what looked like years. The tour company folks assured us it was much nicer further out on the lake. Thankfully, they were right. They drove us out to the middle and dropped anchor. Then we jumped into the lake! Slowly. Carefully. It stings like the dickens if you get any lake in your eyes. The lake water is so dense with salt and minerals that you literally float in it. Matthew was amazing. Not only did he go out on a boat in deepish water (12 feet), but he got OUT of that boat and INTO the water. Matthew likes swimming in a pool, but open water has always been tricky for him. A few critical pieces of information helped him overcome his fear: 

• The water in the Great Salt Lake is medically sterile, containing no pathogens or predators or anything even remotely dangerous.

• You have to try really hard to drown. If you literally do nothing and go limp, your feet just float up in front of you and you lie back comfortably. 

• It was hot. The water was cool. Everyone except the captain was in the water, and who wants to stay on the boat with the captain?!

Matthew came out in a life jacket at first (a huge step forward for him!) but we convinced him to go without. And he actually trusted us more than his fears! We all floated with the brine shrimp. James was catching them with a net. The captain told us how to tell the males from the females. Lara dared James to eat one. He did it. Twice. I just kept repeating in my mind, "medically sterile, medically sterile, medically sterile". For the last few minutes, the captain took us to the "beach", which was actually just a shallow sandbar we got to walk around on. He told us the "sand" was largely calcified brine shrimp poop. I looked it up later. He was right. As we rode the boat back and dried off in the wind, salt crystallized on my skin and clothes. Crazy.  

We spent the rest of the weekend with my family. We went to church with Gma and Gpa (both boys were able to 1) dress in church clothes and 2) stay for all of Sacrament Meeting!). That evening, we drove out to my sister's house in Heber for a big family dinner. We were passed by at least 30 corvettes on those winding roads. There weren't any cousins or second cousins my kids' ages, but we had a good time anyway. Matthew fell in love with the horses. James discovered a garage with 4-wheelers, a golf cart, dirt bikes, and a personal-sized snow plow. Heaven. He asked my sister if he could drive the golf cart, but they were just holding on to it for a friend. No go. She did let him know, though, that they had a Mule (the off-road vehicle, not the mammal) full of garbage that needed to be taken to the dumpster at the end of their street. Once the garbage was delivered, we could take the Mule anywhere on the trails behind and around their house. James was ALL over that. It took me a good little while to get used to driving it. The trails were pretty straightforward. Four wheel drive is awesome. James says that outing was the best part of the whole trip. He thought Matthew would love it, too, and ran back into the house to find him. He was right. Matthew loved it...speed, noise, rocky ground, ups and downs, all of it. Who is this kid?!

Monday morning, I got to attend the temple with my parents, then we boarded a plane for Spokane, WA. It was me, the boys, and my parents. Spokane was on fire at the time, so we had to change a few plans and reservations, but it all worked out for the better. We ended up at a nicer place closer to everything we wanted for the same price. Woo hoo! I rode in Washington (state #45) the first day and Idaho (state #46) the second day. The boys stayed at the VRBO with my parents. They played in the pool, mostly, and watched movies or played video games. We were staying at a horse farm. The property was gorgeous. We saw wild quail, turkeys, and deer. No fire. We spent some time at a beach on the Spokane River. Meh. We went to dinner at a restaurant that was hosting a Corvette Club annual meeting, so the server promptly seated us in an empty room and forgot about us for an hour. Ugh. This wasn't the first time I had selected a terrible restaurant. My dad said I was no longer allowed to pick the restaurants. 

We flew back to Utah the next day. The boys were completely out of whack from that moment on. That night, especially, they were attacking each other and getting offended and apologizing and lashing out in vengeance all at once. Matthew was panicked and anxious. A thunderstorm started and he just couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't able to visit with my friend Marie that night as we had planned. Instead, the boys and I stayed in the grody hotel, ate bad Chinese food and fries while Matthew screamed and freaked out. He sobbed himself to sleep at about 10pm. I had specifically selected this hotel because of its breakfast. We went downstairs the next morning only to learn that the breakfast room was under construction and there would be NO BREAKFAST. Grrrr. Things got marginally better once we got back on the road, but we were all tired of the traveling by then. It was a long slog all the way back to Illinois. Whew!

We pulled into home the same day Lukas moved back to college.

A few days later, the boys started school, too. 

But that's a blog post for another day.

Other things we experienced this summer: 

• The City Museum in St. Louis, MO. Awesome.
• James fixed up a bike at the Bike Project, built an enormous "quiet box" for Matthew out of plywood, and grew the biggest vegetables I've ever had grow in my garden...giant pumpkins 
• We fixed up a "free" power washer and discovered that 1900psi is just not much of anything
• Bobby, me, and the younger boys went to the temple in Anchorage, AK. It was Matthew's first time performing proxy baptisms for some of our ancestors
• Robert improved so much in tennis that he was ready for a competitive racquet. He had a great time working with it all summer
• I refurbished over 20 bikes for a local charity, and donated 50# of homegrown vegetables to a free produce market held in at-risk neighborhoods
• Matthew got together with some school friends at Curtis Orchard, the pool, Parcadia, Urbana Boulders, Old Orchard Lanes, and the Union. He also played Minecraft with them online a couple of times. 
• Speaking of video games, Matthew logged hundreds of hours on video games over the summer. The biggest winners were Spider-Man, Hogwarts Legacy, Zelda: Winds of Time, Horizon, and a whole slew of cozy games
• We visited a Cat Cafe in town. Matthew is now a "cat person" and can't wait to get one of his own
• I canned 36 quarts of peaches and made 12 pints of strawberry freezer jam
• Matthew worked with Lukas and Bobby developing a sock puppet mockumentary ("Sockumentary")

And lest you think our lives are all highlight reels and rosy endings, here are a few OTHER things we also experienced this summer:

• Matthew slept in my bed almost every night, even on trips
• James got bored, bored, bored pretty much every day
• James was scheduled for another week of science camp in June, but he panicked and became physically paralyzed at the thought, so we skipped it
• By August, Nova was so distressed with all of our traveling that she chewed her knuckles raw
• No one swept or mopped or vacuumed any of the floors for months, except when the Evanses came to visit. I'm pretty sure I did it then...maybe. You'll have to ask them if they noticed. 
• After each trip, all the stuff got pulled out of the car and piled up in the living room, then we'd take what we needed from it for the next trip and leave the rest in a pile
• I paid Lukas to do some cleaning while we were away, which kept the bathrooms *just* clean enough to keep using until school started
• I currently have 24 bikes in our garage. Bobby hasn't been able to park his car in there for months. And every once in a while, neither car could park in there
• There were several times that I had to talk myself down from doing something in anger that I would regret. Every single time involved James. *sigh* that boy
• I stayed up late into the night doing NYT crossword puzzles because everyone was asleep and it was quiet and I could think straight for once
• Late nights meant groggy mornings, but Matthew's days go much better if we start with a hot breakfast, so I pulled myself out of bed to make pancakes or waffles or crepes or whatnot. I indulged my Mountain Dew habit just to get through the day, then stayed up late again. My detox days were not good. Ugh.
• We did NO scholastic enrichment. Period. The boys completed the library summer reading program, but that was only because we listened to audio books all the way to and from New Jersey in May (20 hours)
• Church feels like a foreign country to me. I only get to sit in the chapel during Sacrament Meeting 2 Sundays a month, and often I'm working to keep James and/or Matthew's anxiety in check the whole time. Second hour is a struggle, too, since I don't have friends who are easy to sit by in those classes. I want to connect with people, but I don't want to talk about myself and I don't have the patience for polite small talk. I want to enjoy a spiritual feast, but I struggle to get into the lesson topic. I roll my eyes at the same 5 people who answer every question with their predictable perspectives. Then I chastise myself for not having the right attitude. The Spirit can't teach me in that frame of mind. I don't like feeling that way at church. I want to get over whatever my problem is and just go back to the way things were before church got so, so stinking hard with my kids. And kinda lonely. And I groan to myself, "I'm too tired/exhausted/insecure with all my own family's problems to put myself out there for others." That's when I hear the other part of my brain nudging me with, "You're not the only one. Do it anyway."

That, my friends, was bits and pieces of Summer 2026. I left a lot out. Time moves differently when I'm living with/for/around so many other people.