Bobby's Sunday Summary

No Baby Yet

Not Quite Ready Yet

Another visit to the midwife's office, this time I met with Ray Spooner. Conditions are not yet favorable for a scheduled induction this week. There's no telling when this boy will make his grand entrance, but it probably won't be today. Or tomorrow. Or even the next day. I was surprisingly okay with that news. The uncertainty of all this is driving me nuts, but now I know that I'm not on the brink of spontaneous labor. The whole point of going through a medically UN-necessary induction is convenience, right? If I went ahead and scheduled an induction before conditions were favorable, it could lead to way more hassle and intervention than I ever imagined. A power struggle with my body is NOT convenient. Soooo, we'll wait another week and check again.

Yes, I'm tired. Oh baby, I'm uncomfortable. And I'm secretly begging to be released from all of my day-to-day responsibilities...food planning/prep, childcare, house management...but somehow all of that is made a little bit easier by knowing that it's just not time yet. I'm in that strange limbo land between 1) wanting to plan my life and 2) enjoying the natural rhythm of life. It's kinda funny that my appointment today happened to satisfy both sides of my diametrically opposed psyche.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

Well, Life still goes on.  This week has been both fun and stressful.  Susan is getting closer to having the baby.  We had a bit of a scare on Saturday.  She had some contractions but they went away.  We also had a lot of fun this week.  On Wednesday we went out on a double date to Radio Maria.  It is kind of an odd restaurant.  But we had a gift certificate so we took some friends out and we ordered about 10 different types of tapas.  Everything we delicious and it was a lot of fun to eat new interesting foods and have an adult conversation.  I also got to have lunch with Alice at school on Friday.  Every so often the kids can invite an adult to eat lunch with them, and Alice picked me.  It was fun.  It was also interesting to see how many kids got McDonalds for their special lunch.

Just for Lara

My sister recently sent me this note:

I'm craving a picture of your fresh-laid eggs…  Not urgent, just if you get a chance…

Love,
Lara

I'm happy to oblige. Again, I'm not sure how much of my 'farm life' to share on this blog. I don't want to bore people, y'know :) But if you ask for it, I'm happy to deliver. 

Here's a little video I shot the last time I went to gather eggs:

I let the ladies out on Thursday afternoon and they escaped to our neighbor's front yard while I was distracted with guests. They haven't been out since, hence their eagerness to hop out the pen door. Especially Roo.

Here's our current fresh egg stash. Oldest at the top (about 5-6 days old), newest at the bottom:

And here's me happy to deliver...

Midwife Visit at 38 weeks

The midwife I met with today was Kristi Higgs. A lovely lady. Bogah is head-down and sitting hiiiiiiigh up out of the pelvis. That long torso of mine gives him a little extra space. He was so wiggly this morning that Kristi couldn't get a good reading on his heart rate. It's somewhere between 120 and 190 bpm :) Bogah mostly arches his back and wiggles his limbs like a nest of snakes. I am delighted he doesn't hook his feet under my rib cage like Robert did, though he does have a knack for stretching my pelvic bones apart a bit. Kristi estimates his weight at about 8 pounds right now, which easily makes him the largest baby I've had so far. Alice was 6lbs 13oz by this point (already having been born at 37 weeks), and Robert was born weighing 8lbs 6oz at 40.5 weeks (not for another 3 weeks from now). By his due date in three weeks, it would not be unusual for Bogah to gain another pound and a half. Do we have another chunky monkey on the way?

I asked the midwife all of my questions about being positive for Group Beta Strep (GBS) and what that means risk-wise for the baby and such. I'm feeling much better. The one piece of information that made it all better for me was this: 95% of the GBS bacteria is dead within 90 minutes of IV antibiotic treatment. That little piece of data came from a study of actual GBS+ women in active labor, receiving IV antibiotics. It was a tough study to perform, and it was done 15 years ago, but the data point is now there in my brain and it brings significant comfort. All the official CDC guidelines recommend 4 hours of IV antibiotic treatment, but 90 minutes is a significant wallop. I'm pretty sure I can make it to the hospital with 90 minutes to "spare." It's certainly more likely than four hours, anyway. And even if I don't get the full 4 hours of IV antibiotics before Bogah's birth and the official guidelines require Bogah to stay in the hospital for 48 hours of observation instead of 24 hours, I will personally know that 90 minutes was good enough for me and I won't be freaking out about cerebral palsy, blindness, and deafness the whole time. What a relief.

Why wouldn't they let me talk to a midwife 2 weeks ago on the phone for 2 minutes?! Grrrr. There is no secret way to access the on-call midwife, by the way. If you kindly thank the nurse for her information, express understanding, and politely insist that you still speak to a midwife about your concern, then the nurse will forward your non-urgent question to the on-call midwife who may be able to answer it during the day, or may not get around to his/her messages until 11:30 that night. That's disappointing, but better than a complete shut-out :)

Simply being GBS+ is not enough of a concern to warrant an induction. I knew that much when I went to my appointment today, but I asked about my "precipitous labor" pattern, wondering if that would change the game. It does. Rapid labor alone is a sufficient reason for a pregnant woman to receive a scheduled induction, should she want one. And if my exam next week reveals any physical progress towards labor, they will allow me to schedule an induction at my earliest convenience. And that's the whole reason I would choose induction, you know: convenience. Convenience and control. I will admit that I shuddered at the idea of inducing the birth of my first or second child simply for convenience and control. Nowadays, though, I'm finding the induction route quite seductive. And it's all about convenience: choosing the day and time, knowing Bobby will be right there in time the whole time, arranging adequate childcare for Alice and Robert, maybe (just maybe) getting some pain control measures in place for the birth, and flying my mom out soon afterwards to help with recovery. No midnight calls to nearby friends and neighbors, no last-minute changes in the school pick-up routine, and no terrifying possibility of giving birth in the car.

Despite these obvious conveniences, I'm not quite ready to accept the induction route. It's not medically warranted in my case. It seems so forced and artificial in some ways. I was chatting with Bobby about this last night and he reminded me that clothes and houses are artificial, too. He's got a point. I do enjoy a natural flow to life, but I'm also a notorious planner. And I thoroughly enjoy convenience and comfort :) We all have our personal priorities and limitations to consider, yes? So, I'll be considering this week. Lots.

Whew on Roo

I gathered four eggs today. So, unless one of the other girls is covering for Roo, Roo is definitely female. Whew.

Roo

I just can't help myself. I'm outside with the kids in the backyard and I always have one eye on the chickens. They're...they're...strangely therapeutic. I've been watching them so long now that I can easily tell them apart. Dang it all. If I can tell them apart, then I give them names, and then the professional farmer-livestock relationship is ruined and I get all torn up about what happens in a year when their peak laying time is done *sigh*

One of the hens has a prominent comb and waddle that looks almost rooster-like. I call her "Roo."

Roo lounging in the dusty shade of a tomato plant.

Roo likes me. She follows me around for some unknown reason. The other chickens are flighty and they keep their distance, but if I'm squatting or sitting in the garden, Roo walks right up to me and makes a little squawky moan until I look at her. Then we just look at each other. It's the silliest thing ever, and I kinda like it. She hangs around me so closely and so often that even Robert can manage to pet her and pick her up. Crazy chicken!

I held out some grain once and Roo actually ate it out of my hand. This morning, in the strawberry patch, I found a juicy slug and held it out to her. She gobbled it up. Hand-feeding only encourages her to hang out with me, I know. I have mixed feelings about it. She's the only hen I haven't been able to confirm as a layer yet. Maybe she knows her livelihood is in jeopardy and she's trying a different survival tactic :) Or maybe she really is a rooster that just doesn't happen to crow or want to mate with hens...avian gender confusion? Should I look into hiring a poultry therapist? ;)

In related news, I roasted a whole chicken for dinner on Sunday. First one in a long time. Alice looked at the bird as I pulled it out of the oven and asked, "Is that one of our chickens?" I laughed, thinking about the day-long process involved in converting a live chicken to a roasted one...it's not something I could do behind her back. I told her no.

"Then whose chicken is it?" (I can't express the thrill it was to have Alice ask this question)

"The Moore Family's chicken. They raise chickens to kill and eat. They sell them at the co-op and the farmer's market."

"Where do they live?" (I think she's thinking she's met them before)

"In Watseka, IL, just a little ways from here. They have a big farm with lots and lots of chickens they raise for meat."

"Just for meat? Not for eggs?"

"They having laying hens, too."

"Oh. I think I remember that place." (she's probably remembering my friend's egg farm that we toured recently)

I was so busy getting the rest of dinner ready that I didn't ask her any hypothetical questions about the future of our own chickens. How would she feel about eating Penny? She enjoyed the Moore's chicken thoroughly, by the way, though Robert suddenly and surprisingly declared he doesn't like chicken. I think the bones and skin and chicken-shape threw him off. He usually devours plain, boneless, skinless chicken breasts with great gusto.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has been both fun and stressful.  About a week ago was the 5th anniversary of Yahoo! being in town, and also my 5th anniversary of working of them.  Because of that I got a lovely gum ball machine as a present.  I hate gum, so the large box of purple and white gum that came with it is now acting as a door stop a work, but the machine itself is now at home being used as our families treat jar.  Yes we bribe reward our children when that do various things.  Like learning to use the bathroom on their own.

This week, however, the whole site had a big party to celebrate.  We had a fancy lunch, played games, including races through large inflatable obstacle courses.  Even one of the founders of Yahoo! David Filo showed up.  He is the only Billionaire I have ever met, and an amazingly down to earth guy.  By the way he totally beat everyone in the obstacle courses, and it is not like we were trying to let him win because he owns a lot of the company.  We got points for the various things that we did and then got to pick prizes based off of the points.  I came home with a lovely new, very purple, folding camp chair.  I have been riding my bike to work and back for a while now.  Let me tell you that it is kind of awkward to cary a camp chair on your back along with a backpack riding home on a bike.  Not impossible, just a bit awkward.

Our family seems to be doing well.  Like Susan has said I think we have a plan in place for when the baby comes.  Now all that is left is waiting for it to happen.

Cooperative Tales

One windy afternoon this week, I had the chickens out grazing in the backyard. Evening came and they all meandered over to the door of their pen expecting to get ready for bed. Unfortunately, the wind had blown the door closed and they could only pace back and forth on the outside looking nervous. I saw them in distress and hopped up to help them. Alice was close behind.

Alice shouts, "Quick! let them in their coop before the fox eats them!"

That got Robert's attention, and he came running out, too, "Where the fox? I don't see a fox."

I reminded him that the fox usually comes when it's dark. We were putting the chickens in their coop before he comes by so they will be safe all night. And then Buddy and Alice came out with this:

B: "Yeah. And the fox come and say, "Huuuuuuh?! Where chickens?" (*giggle giggle*)

A: He'll say, "I'm so hungry!" (*more giggling*)

B: And he say "I hungry! Awwwwwww! I want eat chickens (Buddy grabs his stomach in play acting)." And then he die. Yeah. *both kids bust a gut laughing*

We all laughed so hard. Buddy and Alice were laughing at the thought of a foiled fox. I was completely astonished at their ability to create a story together on the spot. When I was all tied up in knots about bringing Robert into this family, I had no inkling of these kinds of cooperative fun. It still catches me off guard when the kids play together and can negotiate the narrative.

There are plenty of fights---don't get me wrong. But I expected the fights and prepared for them. The teamwork thing blindsided me. Why on earth was that such a surprise? I don't know. Probably because I have such a hard time building cooperative relationships with people myself ;)

A good sign

37 weeks along today. Full term. Any time now, Bogah, you can make your grand entrance. Please don't make me wait too much longer :) We've even assembled a list of on-call volunteers to take care of Alice and Robert at a moment's notice, no matter the time of day. Any time, dude. Bring it on.

This is a different point from my 37th week with Robert. The last time around, I didn't even have the wherewithal to watch anyone else's kids. I remember telling my friends "no" several times because it was just too much stress at that moment to try and take care of anyone/anything more than what I already had. My life is completely different these days. It's also a different season. I wonder if having a baby in the spring after a long, dark winter (ahem, Robert) is just plain tougher than having a baby in the fall after a bright and productive summer (ta da! Bogah). Well, it's certainly easier to watch other people's kids when there's a big backyard to play in and a little boy who's desperate for playmates now that his primary playmate is gone most of the day. The larger house doesn't hurt, either. The last 9 months have also brought significant progress towards my personal goals for home and family. I think I'm just plain happier these days than I was 2.5 years ago.

Anyway, this is kind of a jumbled assortment of thoughts, but the bottom line is I'm feeling more "ready" for this baby than I did with Robert. I'm hoping that means I will avoid some of the postpartum difficulties I experienced the last time around, too. Sleep deprivation and the resulting hallucinations are probably unavoidable ("My baby is in this bed somewhere. I know it! Must find him."), but temporary in the longer scheme of things (Does anyone else out there hallucinate when they haven't slept well in three days?). I know everything gets better with time. I even know HOW much better it gets with time because I've done it twice before. Sort of. Every child is a different experience, no doubt.

My brother works here

New Breed of Robotics Aims to Help People Walk Again http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/12/technology/wearable-robots-that-can-help-people-walk-again.html

Very awesome stuff he is doing.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

Talking with Susan today she informed me that she has been keeping everyone up to date about what has been happening in our life so it is OK if I do my usual nothing much happened this week post.

Finger Smelling

Okay, this is weird. Over the last couple of weeks, Alice has developed this unconscious/subconscious habit of smelling her fingertips. She does it off and on all day, sometimes sticking her fingers in random things just to smell them. Yes, even her armpits. It reminds me of something that used to be funny to a few of my siblings and I can't remember exactly what. Erin? Lara? Heidi? Mike? Did someone you know do that or something? Was it something from a show or movie? I see Alice do it and I feel like it should be funny, but I just can't remember why.

More Thoughts on Alice's Homework Routine

I asked Alice's teacher about the homework routine. I thought an experienced educator who had seen lots and lots of kids at every level of Kindergarten readiness would have an opinion worth considering as I try to figure out this homework thing for the first time. I also happen to like this lady because she pushes the kids academically, saying, "I want these guys to think first grade is a piece of cake." So, I wasn't too terribly surprised when she said she would like to see the child stretched to the homework level that he/she is capable of, but that she ALSO expects her students to be the ones responsible for their homework and in charge of getting it to school.

Yup, high expectations. The rest of Alice's academic career will be a breeze if we can simply perfect both of those skills in Kindergarten ;)

So, I'll keep working on this balance, trying to figure out what works best for Alice and me this time around. Here's the thing: I want to help her reach her potential, but I don't want to nag/remind/fret/hover constantly to get her there. There's got to be a middle ground somewhere.

Random Ponderances...again

Sometimes I have several things going on in my brain that I can't quite figure out on my own. Hence, the throw-it-all-out-there blog post.

• The garage door broke last night, locking our car and bikes in the garage. Fortunately, we live freakishly close to everything we needed to do today (school, work, Language Acquisition Lab) and the weather is relatively pleasant, so Bobby carried the bikes through the house to get them out. He and Alice rode bikes to school and work, then Robert and I hopped on a bus to get to the Lab. Robert loves the bus. Lots of questions from him about everything. I'm not concerned about his language development :) He was just part of a study in the Psych department regarding language development. They introduced a new verb ("to blim") and tested whether he could pick up on conversational context clues to figure out its meaning ("Jenny is gonna blim the spoon" compared to "Jenny is gonna blim the spoon to Aaron").

• I'm Strep B positive. That doesn't mean anything most of the time, but it means a lot when you're 36 weeks pregnant. It means the baby could get infected with a life-threatening disease at birth. 1 in 200 chance. I'm wavering between freaking out (i.e. LIFE THREATENING?!) and ignoring it completely (i.e. 1 in 200 chance of infection). The routine treatment is an intravenous dose of antibiotics for the mother WHILE she's in labor, ideally starting four hours before the baby is born. That changes the risk of infection from 1:200 to 1:4000. Folks, my labors don't last four hours. There's no way I'm going to get the ideal dose with baby #3. So, again, I'm wavering between freaking out and ignoring it completely. Is the risk dangerous enough that I should get induced to ensure the ideal dosage of antibiotics? Is the risk low enough that we can forget about the antibiotics and just monitor the baby a little longer after birth (2-3 days instead of 24 hours)? The nurses won't let me talk to the midwives until my next appointment in 2 weeks. There's something unsettling about that. When I'm freaking out, the lack of answers really bothers me. I'm hoping I can cool down a bit before my next appointment. Grrrrrrr.

• New car. We are now a minivan family. I still don't know exactly how I feel about that. The purchasing experience wasn't ideal, and both Bobby and I were completely drained of energy by the end of it. We like the car well enough. It's a smooth ride, it fits everyone and everything (and then some), and it was necessary to get a car that would suit our growing family, but I've never yearned for a minivan. We can do most things we need to do without a set of gas-powered wheels. Maybe that will all change with the first real snow. It's just hard to feel good about the purchase yet, since we don't really need it right now. Or for the next month.

• Three chickens laying. We're up to three eggs a day! They're still itty-bitty, but they are currently meeting our egg consumption needs as a family of four. And I think I can tell the three black chickens apart now. I'm tempted to name/number them because that will help me keep track of their laying habits better...Penny, Spot, Roo, and The Other One...that's the pecking order, too, in case you were interested :)

• Alice's homework. Still trying to find a good routine here. The homework itself takes 3 seconds so far (i.e. write one word that contains the short "i" sound like "igloo"), but I've been embellishing it a bit to get her to do something more challenging (i.e. let's look through this easy reader book for all the words with the short "i" sound, then write down some of your favorites). She loves the one-on-one attention. I love to give it to her. I love to see her sounding things out and taking pride in her work ("Wow! That's the best "g" I've ever written!"). But it's still not easy. She's not always in the mood, or focused on the task, and I'm constantly reassessing how much of this task is my responsibility and how much is her responsibility. In other words, when and how am I willing to watch her fail? Is it more important that she perform the simple assignment 100% on her own, without reminders, without any pushing from me, therefore taking on the responsibility herself? Or is it more important that I guide her through more challenging exercises to push the envelope and show her what she's academically capable of? Is there any middle ground? Until I find a consistent priority/balance there, Alice's homework will continue to be stressful experience for me.

That feels better. It's nice to define the uncomfortable spots now and then. Your input is welcome, of course, as long as you don't tell me "no".

Playing in the Rain

Robert played in the rain this morning. I love how the idea just came naturally and he fell into the fun. I also love that I could sit under the eaves and watch him without having to get wet myself :) The video is almost a minute long, and there's nothing extraordinary about it.

Just my little boy at play.

My crazy 2-year-old Robert.

The boy that I wondered so long about and pondered how he would shape our family...I'm completely in love with him. I just love to watch him be who he is:

Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has felt like more of the same.  work has stayed about the same, very busy.  Hopefully next week will be a bit less.  Alice is still in school and all of us are adjusting to it.  Susan is still pregnant and is about ready to be done with that.