Cycling West Virginia and Virginia

For the second half of Fall Break, I wanted to cycle 50 miles in two states that I had missed a couple years earlier. I was scheduled to ride in West Virginia and Virginia with Rachel in October 2021, but I was having a serious bout of anxiety then and my symptoms made it impossible to train or even attempt the rides. I made the trip to West Virginia, though, to support Rachel and be there in case of an emergency. This particular trail was in the middle of nowhere and didn't have good cell service.

She did the rides and I didn't. That put me 2 rides behind. Anxiety also kept me from riding with Rachel in Maryland, Delaware, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Tennessee that school year. 

Dumb anxiety.

So, while I continue to ride with Rachel our 8 states a year until 2027, I now need to make-up those 8 states somewhere in between. Sure, I have until 2029 before I turn 50, but I would rather finish on Alaska or Hawaii with Rachel and our families altogether. Ending on Alabama on my own would feel kinda anti-climactic, y'know?

I knew that taking another 4 days away from my family after 2 recent biking trips in Sep and Oct was a tall order. We settled on this: Bobby (who had to work) would stay home with Alex (who had to work) and Robert (who can't stand to travel) while I (eager to check off two more states) would take James (always ready to go somewhere) and Matthew (don't you dare leave me alone) with me.

We packed a DVD player, stocked up on audio books, and borrowed Erin's PS4 gaming system to give the boys something safe (i.e. off the internet and TV) to do while I was on my rides. It was sometimes difficult to have the boys with me (you should see my smart watch stress readings for that trip!!), but it was also a lot more fun with them along. They're pretty flexible. They're pretty easily satisfied. They still like to do things out and about. 

It was very hard for me to leave them alone for 4 hours at a time in an unfamiliar hotel room or VRBO. I knew they would be physically safe. James is responsible enough to get out of a burning building, call 911 in an emergency, and comfort Matthew as needed. They were never far from other adults who could help them in an emergency. I just didn't want it to come to that. I also worried about Matthew getting nervous to the point of a panic attack. What if...what if...what if...he's pretty good at the "what if" game.

But it was fine. Even when we accidentally left their cell phone plugged in and all of my check-in calls went straight to voicemail (ARGH!!), Matthew realized he hadn't heard from me in a while and did a very sensible thing in a very calm manner. He picked up the cell phone, unplugged it, and gave me a call. Then he texted me "I love you" and "Moo moo moo". On a flip phone. With only a number pad. Without my giving him any instructions beforehand. Wow! He was capable of so much more than I had feared! 

Ready for some digital fun without Mom!

I sent them this selfie when my calls weren't going through. I thought, "If Matthew is freaking out that I haven't called to check in, maybe he'll see this text and feel assured. And if something terrible has happened, DCFS will have this phone evidence that I tried diligently to keep in contact with my children while I was away."

Susan, Susan, Susan. 

The boys never once worried in my absence. Minecraft and movies have a way of warping time. When I got home, it looked like a preschool frat party: DVDs and cases scattered about, empty juice boxes littering the floor, and Matthew smiling at me wearing nothing but his underwear.

We had to check out of our hotels/VRBOs by 10am, so I broke my rides into segments. I still got 50 miles in each state, but some were ridden the night before and some were ridden the next morning before 10. It went like this:

Day 1: 10mi at night

Day 2: 40mi in the morning, 34 mi after 7pm

Day 3: 16mi before 10am

On Day 2, that's a total of 74 miles with 2500ft of elevation gain. I should have thought about this more before doing it. Or not. I don't think I had much of a choice with the little boys coming along. That hurt. A lot.

Between my rides on Day 2, we visited Lost World Caverns in Lewisburg, WV. That place was awesome. I had seen cave formations in Timpanogos Cave in American Fork, UT, but this cavern was on a completely different scale. Huge, huge, huge. Enormous formations with features I had never seen in Timp Cave. 

This picture doesn't do it justice. 

They know how to stand and smile for a normal looking picture, I swear, but are they capable of it? Hmmm.

This formation was called Smurf Village. Crazy Matthew pose.

Matthew used some birthday money to purchase a hot pink python stuffy. James used his own money to purchase a hefty piece of smoky quartz.

Take a picture of it strangling me!

In Virginia, we stayed at a VRBO called the Tiny House. This is a terrible picture (argh!) but Matthew is on the front porch to give you some sense of scale. It was a very large, 2-story shed with a spiral staircase. There were several things about it that literally felt like sleeping in a shed, but it had just enough home-like ambiance that James could envision himself living in it as an adult. Before this trip, he was thinking he'd like to live in a small house with just the basic things he would need: bathroom, stove, fridge, bed, dog. That was one of the reasons I chose this place to stay. James couldn't stop talking about it to me. In fact, he was taking measurements and making plans to remodel. Here was an actual, physical example of something he had only dreamed about.  

Once the rides were done, we started the long drive back home. We stopped to eat dinner at Grandpa's restaurant: Bob Evans. You make a good coleslaw, Bob, and I was grateful for the green salad to divide between my kids, but your seasonal fruit plate needs some work. The boys give your chicken strips two thumbs up.

We were actually in Columbus, OH.

We were glad to get home. While we were away, Bobby and the older boys got sick. Bobby got a nasty toothache, too. Alex netted $400 from the Fall Break Camp he worked at. Robert reached levels higher than ever on his video game, mastering some techniques that he never had time enough to develop before. 

And now that I'm done blogging about this crazy adventurous week, I can catch up on all the things at home. I don't mind doing familiar things in familiar places after a week like that. Out of the last 13 nights, I slept in my own bed for only 4 of them. 

Indy Zoo with the Boys

Well, the boys and I went camping over Fall Break (see previous post) and spent a day at the Indianapolis Zoo. This was an outing from Matthew's 8-while-8 list.

And while it was a very typical trip to the zoo, there were a few things I'd like to remember above the rest. We really got up close and personal with the animals this time. 

Matthew looooved touching actual sharks and rays in the "petting pool."

We went behind the scenes after the dolphin show and learned about their care and training. We were given the chance to meet a dolphin one-on-one. Here is James' experience:

I got to do it, too. Matthew opted out, citing concerns that he wouldn't be able to let go in time and would accidentally get pulled into the pool. I asked about his adventuring mode and he let me know that it's not really something he does in public. He's too afraid to do it in public. Good to know.

After the dolphin experience, we took the sky tram over the orangutan exhibit. This enclosure has a few tall I-beams with footholds that extend several stories above the outer walls. There was at least one orangutan who climbed up to the very, very top. Eye level with the folks in the tram. Matthew and James were awfully nervous about the height, but that orangutan didn't seem to mind it at all. 

While waiting in line for the tram, I challenged the boys to a selfie contest.

Here's my entry.

Jamesy was next.

And this was Matthew's entry. He was 100% intentional about taking a picture that did not include a single one of us. Silly boy. He laughed and laughed and laughed.

Also while waiting in line for the tram (it was kinda long), the lighting was just perfect so I could see how different the boys' eye colors were. Matthew's are pure blue. James' are blue-green with bursts of hazel/brown. It was stunning and beautiful. I wanted a picture of it. This was their first response to my request for an eye photo. Stinkers. 

This was the best photo I could capture. Ugh. One of these days, boys, one of these days.

After the tram, we tried the zoo roller coaster ride. Matthew took a little convincing. I hoped it would be something like the bridge the night before...scary at first but fun in the end. I prepped him that roller coasters are fun because it is the *feeling* of peril without *actual* peril. 

No. actual. peril. 

Well, we clamped the safety bar as tight as my femur could tolerate and I placed my arm like a seat belt across his upper body and held on tight, pressing him into the seat back. He said that helped. Well, not for long. He screamed the entire way in *actual* terror. It was a short and not-too-scary ride, thankfully, but then there was a second round. Matthew wailed. When it was time to get off, he couldn't leave fast enough. He recovered splendidly, though, when he found out James wasn't too fond of it, either. James didn't like how it made his insides feel. Okay, okay, they're not roller coaster junkies.

It occurred to me then that my family may never be the "pack up in a camper and explore" family that I had envisioned. I thought we weren't traveling or doing adventurous things because the kids were too little. Or the adults were too tired. Now that I have older kids and a little more energy, I'm ready to play! I want to try roller coasters again, and skydiving for once, and mountain biking, and hiking the Grand Canyon again. My fam just isn't into it. James, maybe, will do these things with me. And Matthew will come because he doesn't want to be without James or me, but he won't enjoy it. I think Alex will give it a go, too, but only so he's not left out. 

It's important, then, that I make time for vacations/activities that our family DOES enjoy doing together. Gotta give that a good think.

We got up close and personal with some birds, too. We got to hand feed budgies and lorikeets.

James with the lorikeets. They were loud, cheeky, and beaky, lapping up the sweet liquid with their funny tongues. They used their beaks like hands, moving along branches, grabbing the edge of the cup. One nipped at James' ear and screeched loudly when it didn't yield nectar. They would contort into the strangest poses to reach a nectar cup. One actually hung upside down by one claw to stretch out and lick it.

Budgies were a little more polite. There was a little blob of bird seed hot-glued to the end of a long stick. They flew over and landed on the stick trying to wrestle the seeds from the glue with their beaks. 

We saw sea creatures, forest animals, and arctic birds. We saw black crocodiles, a tiger, and Capuchin monkeys stretched out on patches of sunlight. It was a pretty cool morning. We explored the zoo's special Halloween fair with black cats, snakes, and miniature ponies on exhibit. Matthew begged to go into the hall of mirrors. He wanted to go in on his own, but James latched on and they went together. I followed behind far enough that I couldn't see them. Matthew LOVED it. I was a little freaked out. I wouldn't have made it through if it weren't for all the smudgy hand and face prints on all the mirrors about 3 feet from the floor. 

An excellent outing. One of my favorites. Thanks, Matthew, for the extra nudge to get out and do it!

It's the Final Campout

James, Matthew, and I took a couple days this Fall Break to camp, hike, and visit the Indianapolis Zoo. It was the last of James' birthday goal campouts and the second to last outing on Matthew's 8-while-8 goals. We couldn't have ended on a better note! 

First of all, the weather was PERFECT. 

Matthew woke up the second morning, opened the tent door, and exclaimed, "Wow! This place is beautiful!" This is what he was looking at. 

Second, the boys had been back in school for a few weeks, so a camping trip was actually fun and different from the norm. Both of the boys said several times, "I just love camping 'cuz you don't have to do anything. You just get to do what you want!" 

Third, the campground we chose was pretty nice: White River Campground in Cicero, IN. It wasn't swanky, but it had the most important bits (running water, flush toilets) and it felt supremely safe. We were surrounded by grandparents in campers with their grandkids. 

Here we are on the first night on the huge, lit-up bridge that connected our campground to a nature preserve next door. Matthew initially was too scared to go onto the bridge since he couldn't see how deep the water was. He was concerned the bridge could possibly break. James went barreling ahead. Matthew put on his adventuring attitude, though, and braved it with us, finding it pretty fun in the end. As long as he didn't get too close to the gaps between the slats.

We went for a short hike in the nature preserve the next day. Matthew was wearing his moose pajamas and James gave me a unicorn horn for this shadow picture.

Matthew took this panorama picture of our campsite.

Fourth, the boys did a lot of the work. They packed their own suitcases and bedding, put up the tent, unloaded the car, cooked the meals (with supervision), and helped with all the take down and repacking, too. No complaining. Best camping trip ever. 

We forgot to bring the roasting sticks. No worries! Matthew is on the case. He soon discovered that snow gloves aren't durable oven mitts, but none of the melted plastic got onto him or our food. Whew.

The boys putting up the tent. It's a pretty straightforward setup, but how many people even know how to do this anymore?

Mathew was taking artsy pictures with my phone. Here, I'm filling the pot for oatmeal.

Fifth, the outings were especially interesting:

We stopped at a sports car dealership. Here are the boys with a Lamborghini.

And here they are with a Lotus specially created to look like one from a James Bond movie. This was our first in-person experience with a Lotus. James loves seeing these cars at dealerships, but he gets crazy excited when he sees them, as he says, "in the wild."

There was a natural history museum nearby. We got to tour models of Native American structures from the region and read about the different peoples who lived in this area before Europeans arrived. We saw skeletons and furs of native animals. James found a microscope and looked at various things. 

After the natural history museum, we visited a nature preserve about 30 minutes away. This is Matthew posing as an adventurer/explorer. They had a program called "Owls of Indiana" where the presenter brought out several owls and hawks that he had been conditioning for educational presentations like this one. They were awesome. A few of the more memorable moments involved an enormous red tailed hawk shooting feces almost 7 feet behind it, the cutest little screech owl in existence (even though he was fully grown and 30 years old!), and a couple birds of prey eating dead mice...they've all got their own methods...the boys had to turn away once or twice. The facility had a huge tortoise named Chumley. The boys thought he was alright, but they really loved hearing a 4-year-old running towards him shouting excitedly, "Chumley! We're back, Chumley!! Where are you, Chumley?" 

On the second day of our camping trip, we headed to the Indianapolis Zoo. That's another blog post altogether. Stay tuned.

James is 11!

Happy birthday, James!

You've been talking about your birthday every day for the last 3 weeks. You counted down to it like Christmas, even getting excited about Birthday Eve. Your excitement spilled over into every aspect of your life: play got rowdier, your eyes got more sparkly, and your good mood was abnormally resilient. 

Then the day came! You were awake at 5:30am. Dad made you cinnamon rolls. I sang "Happy Birthday" to you as soon as I saw you. Matthew and I knocked you over with hugs. We brought out the presents, but made you wait until family prayer to open them so Alex and Robert could watch. Matthew gave you a set of noisy, light-up light sabers. Dad and I got you a 2-person laser tag game and a 3-piece suit (so you don't have to keep borrowing Alex's suit jacket). You also got a ride to school for other reasons, but that was pretty cool. 

After school, you told me the kids in your class had misbehaved more than usual and almost got weekend detention. I didn't know that was an elementary school thing, but apparently this new principal has new ideas. You were relieved nobody made a big deal about your birthday at school. 

Grandma and Erin made your birthday cake: triple chocolate with dark chocolate chips and chocolate frosting. You wanted to put the BMW logo on top. I said you would have to practice the piano before decorating it, so you found 100 other things to do until the last minute. We got nearly through your practice when it was time for dinner. You had chosen to eat out for your birthday at Cracker Barrel. That mac and cheese in Indianapolis really left an impression on you! Grandma and Erin came to dinner, too. You still had to finish your piano practice after dinner, but you got it done. Then you opened your presents from Erin and Grandma. Erin gave you the softest, most indulgent blanket ever made. Grandma got you the nerf shotgun you specially requested for your birthday. Lucky boy. You haven't stopped playing with and using those presents since you got them 2 days ago. Seriously. 

You were taking so long playing and enjoying your birthday that you never did get around to decorating your own cake. I just did it. You didn't seem to mind, though. The cake was clearly not that critical to you, especially after such a big dinner and so many new things to play with. We sang "Happy Birthday" again and you blew out 11 candles in one go WITHOUT spitting on the cake. Nice! 

You're an important part of our family, James. I don't think you realize that right now. You are flanked by a couple of sensitive siblings who demand a little more time and attention than you do. That can be rough. In fact, you don't really demand much of anything. That's your strength AND your weakness. Most strengths are also peoples' weaknesses, so that's not surprising. You're introspective, but not terribly comfortable expressing your feelings. Every once in a while, maybe 2-3 times a year, you publicly share something deeply personal with others. I don't know what to do in those moments because you don't like a lot of attention for those things, but I want to tell you how much I love and admire you for sharing those things. Maybe I should just say that out loud the next time. 

Matthew depends on you, James, in SO many ways. That can be hard, too, but you're a good older brother. You have protected him and comforted him and taught him and played and played and played with him since the day he was born. When he's grouchy or mad, your first instinct is to be silly and pull him out of it. I admire that about you. 

I admire your creativity at this age, and your confidence in taking small risks. You're not afraid to jump into a project. If things don't work like you initially planned, you shrug and try it another way. Sometimes you even change the entire design! I've kinda taken your flexibility and resilience for granted, but it's one of your gifts, James. 

We didn't quite get 11 camping trips before you turned 11, but we got 10. The 11th is scheduled for Fall Break in a couple of weeks. 

I love you, James! Thank you for being part of this family!

Love,

Mom

Homecoming Dance

Alex and his friend K decided to go to the Homecoming dance this year. It was a little out of character for both of them, but they're kinda "out of character" folks, so it fit pretty well in a roundabout way. Alex wanted to wear a sparkly dress, high heels, and make-up. K would typically wear a dress to things like this, but wore a suit instead. 

Erin took Alex dress shopping and helped him find a hair color that would match. His friend S did his make-up. Alex was happy with the end product, even if he felt totally awkward posing for pictures. 

When the night was over, he decided that the dance wasn't worth the ticket price, but spending all that time with his friends was AWESOME. Will he do it again?

"Not in high heels!" he proclaims.

Go Karts!

Yet another one of Matthew's 8 while 8 outings completed. And what a doozy! We traveled to K1 Racing in Indianapolis, IN for the full indoor racing experience. Maybe it was too much for our sensitive Matthew. While waiting for his first race, Matthew watched in horror as a posse of 8 full-grown men tore around the track at top speed...tires squealing, some racers sliding into the barriers right by us...he grew pale.

We had to reassure him repeatedly that the kid races were much slower with fewer cars and he could go however slow or fast he wanted. He didn't have to go fast. He was terrified of crashing...hitting the side rail or getting his by another kart was paralyzing him. We assured him that if he went slow, he'd be okay. I also reminded him about the "adventure mode" he discovered while camping. When we're out camping, he gets braver and will take more risks. Nothing ACTUALLY risky, of course, since this is still Matthew, but he'll follow James' lead and try things that are normally too adventurous for him. He decided he could go into "adventure mode" for this race.

He agreed, but ONLY if:

1) James was in his race with him

2) He could go as slow as he wanted

3) There weren't many other people

He actually wanted to take the course entirely on his own, but that wasn't possible. People were assigned to races based on kart size (adult vs. youth) and the next available race time.

We lucked out. Matthew's first race was with James and only one other kid. Matthew was the first, so he inched out on the starting line at his own pace. Then he got the signal to go. James and the other kid scooted around him as he putted down the track at a nervous 2 mph. He did alright! Then, as he was making the final turn of his first lap, James and the other kid came up from behind neck-and-neck and trying to pass each other. Someone hit the back of Matthew's kart and the other one hit the barrier right next to him. Matthew completely lost it. The other boys recovered and zipped by, but Matthew was screaming and completely paralyzed in his kart. The race attendant didn't really know what to do at first. It was soon clear, though, that Matthew was not going to finish his first lap and would need to be escorted off the track. 

Whew.

He needed some time to gather himself together, but just couldn't get a grip while he was still in the same room as the racing karts. Alex gently offered to take him to the lobby/arcade while James finished his race. Matthew agreed. A few minutes later, they returned jubilant with an actual stuffy they had won from the Claw machine. We were all completely shocked! Those Claw machines are quite tricky. I'm counting it as a tender mercy from God. 

I'm so proud of Matthew for putting on his adventure mode and giving this a try. He's really had to push himself this year for these 8 while 8 goals!

Here are Alex and Matthew at the miraculous Claw machine where they were united with the newest member of Matthew's stuffy collection: Cheeseburger the Lobster. I'm really glad Alex came. He's super fun to hang out with and he's really, really empathetic to Matthew's anxious episodes. Also, James and Matthew feel like any outing with Alex is a special occasion. It makes it that much more special. Alex drove us there, actually, to get in more driving hours. There was construction and accidents, so a 2-hour drive turned into 3. Then, he needed one more hour of night driving, so we had him drive us out of the city itself...in the dark...through construction. Maybe that wasn't the wisest choice. We had a few close calls (not all of them Alex's fault), and Matthew almost hyperventilated due to the stress of it all, but Alex kept his cool 100% of the time. Seriously, this kid is way more capable than he gives himself credit for. 

Head sock. Feels and acts like a foot sock does.

Alex waiting for his race to begin. Alex raced twice and thought it was fun. He said he wouldn't really want to do it again unless he were racing with friends or family. The driving of the kart itself wasn't a big deal to him.

Enthusiasm at the front door. James is putting on his "picture" face. He totally does this on purpose.

Afterwards, we ate dinner at Cracker Barrel. James tasted the best mac and cheese of his life here.

Matthew ready for his race to begin.

James ready for his first race. This smile, ladies and gentlemen, is a real James smile. He was so excited for this race that he forgot to put on his picture face. James went on to run 3 more races. He was just the right size to race in youth karts AND adult karts. He ran a couple of each but preferred the kid races because they were easier to win :)