Faux Chenille Blanket

I love, love, love this idea! A couple of twin-size beauties are on my future project wish list (we already have plenty of baby blankets to last us a couple generations):

Picture and idea snagged from MADE.

More of Robert's Personality

Spending more time with the boy, I start seeing more about him.

Noise
It's no secret that he tolerates noise pretty well. Last night, we pulled out the inflatable mattress that used to be for guests (this mattress can't hold its air longer than an hour, so it's "cruel and unusual" to make guests sleep on it). It's now a jumping toy in our living room for a while. Anyway, the inflation process is pretty noisy and high-pitched. Not only did Robert tolerate the noise, but he wanted to see and touch it. He wanted to be right on top of it! Even when the motor was quiet, he wanted to examine it and play with it.

"I'm gonna getcha"
When Alice was a finger-walker, we would play the "I'm gonna getcha" game. She'd run away laughing and squealing every time. We now play it with Robert and get completely different results: Robert either ignores the threat entirely (usually when it's coming from Bobby) or turns around, grins, runs full-force, and tackles the person threatening to get him (usually me, then he mauls me with open-mouth kisses and head-butting, grabbing my hair to snuggle it). It's nice to know one is appreciated.

Soft, furry stuff
Alice didn't seem to care one way or the other about stuffed animals. Robert, however, can't help but grab furry stuff with both fists and pull it to his face for a nice, long, wet, open-mouthed rub. Even live animals (sorry, Reuben, you ancient Siamese cat).

Recent Art Work

I'm working in the kitchen and Alice asks, "How do you spell "lost", Mommy?"

I sound out each letter, "lllllll, ah, sssssss, t"

 

She then "writes" a story (see the l c l c E i writing on the right?) about a little lost boy who eventually overcomes some bad guy and is reunited with his family. Then she insists we act it out.

Another day, Alice and Bobby are writing "letters" to each other on scraps of packaging that Alice had previously been using as money. She tells me this is a picture of a baby bird and a mommy bird crossing a bridge.

This is another bird crossing a bridge but now there's a smattering of yummy seeds for her. I kept my thumb in the picture for scale. These are itsy, bitsy drawings.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

My mom won't get me anything that I want for Christmas. Can you help?

Electrical cables and cords
Electrical outlets
Toilet bowl
Toilet paper dispenser

Love,
Robert

Personal Revelation

So, um, the end of that last post was kind of ominous. I've been in a bit of a funk, lately, trying to make this mother-of-two thing work. Feeling overwhelmed. Feeling tired. Feeling that two kids was as much as I could ever handle and it would be irresponsible of me as a human being to have any other children because adding one more needy, sleepless dimension to my life would put me over the edge and destroy any hope of being a good mother.

Dramatic? Perhaps a little.

Then, acting on the advice of my dear husband (and countless others throughout my life) to pray about it, something changed. It was an answer. Instead of trying to convince myself and God why I shouldn't have any more children, maybe I should focus on enjoying the two kids I actually have. "Oh yeah. Maybe I should." It was a loving sort of chastisement, and now I had another series of questions to ponder: What do I enjoy about each child? In which situations do I feel the most stress? I used to love this motherhood thing...what happened? How can I create more of those moments of enjoyment and mellow out during the stressful ones?

The timing worked out great, actually, because we were heading to the temple the next day. I had 3 hours in the car with Bobby to chat it out and brainstorm solutions. Alice played almost entirely by herself the whole time and Robert slept blissfully. That alone was a miracle, and the only reason Bobby and I could chat things out so well.

(Side note: I think this blog has helped me in several ways. One of the most powerful ways being a connection with grandparents, family, and friends who tend to pray for us when we're struggling. Those prayers work, by the way, and produce miracles like a 3-hour conversation with my spouse.)

I realized that most of my parental anxiety centers around Robert. My boy. The new one I keep trying to fit in and figure out. His needs are constantly changing, despite being so simple. He doesn't have the skill to express himself in the few moments I can devote to him at a time. It's gnawing at me that I don't know him as well as I want to.

So, I pondered it some more and received/found/felt another answer: Spend more time with Robert doing the things he likes, whether or not I actually enjoy that activity. I groaned. The boy is an insatiable finger-walker. I envisioned hours hunched over helping him toddle around our house. Then I remembered how much he likes a good bath, too. I could throw a few extra baths into the week just for fun. Robert also likes wrestling, crazy kid, and I actually like a little physical play now and then. Actually, I just like making the kid laugh.

It's been a few days of this new focus and I've noticed a complete turnaround. He's still waking up several times a night for...no...blasted...reason...ARGH! I'm still exhausted most of the day *yawn*, but I love the boy again. You know why it works for me? Because my love language of choice is quality time. My time with him IS my growing love for him. And now I know him better. And like him more. And feel less parental guilt for somehow failing him as a mom before he's 1 year old.

So what did I have to give up to spend all this quality time with Robert? Surprisingly little. I spend less time on the computer checking email. My games with Alice just have to be flexible enough to include random movement from room to room with Robert's finger-walking. And maybe it's just coincidence, but Robert's happier, too, so he seems more flexible with other people's schedules and circumstances.

This mom-of-two thing is still harder than anything I've done before, but I like it again :)

Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has been very very busy. This week was Thanksgiving. We got to spend it with our friends. We made several pies, stuffing, raw veggies, and green beans. They roasted a 23 lb. turkey. This bird looked about as big a Robert. It was a lot of fun to just hang out and have a relaxing afternoon. The day after Thanksgiving we drove down to St Louis to go to the temple. We got a hotel for the night, and we both did a session friday evening. It was nice, but Robert still was having issues so we did not sleep nearly as well as we had hoped.

On Saturday we had some of Susan's high school friends come over. They are now living in North Carolina and Michigan, but were in Indianapolis for Thanksgiving and stopped by. It was a lot of fun and Alice made some new friends.

Farm Dreams

Our friends and neighbors have asked us to watch their "livestock" while they're away for Thanksgiving: rabbits, laying hens, and an ancient Siamese cat who just can't get enough love. It's cold work in the semi-darkness (rabbits need to be fed about the same time every day, dusk). We discovered this little beauty in the chicken coop yesterday:

Alice didn't want to put it in the fridge right away. She held it for a long time, whispering sweetly to the teeny "chickie" inside. Then she asked to eat scrambled eggs for lunch.

Someday, somewhere, with the right amount of space and a little more nurture room in my life (i.e. kids get a bit older and I need someone/something more to nurture), we will have a few laying hens. Nothing big, but it's a little dream of mine. Think she's dreaming of it, too?

Speaking of dreams, here's the Boy in a spontaneous 3rd nap yesterday:

I think he's praying for more rest. I am, anyway ;) Robert is getting better slowly. He seems unhappy almost all of the time. I haven't heard him laugh for a few days. That's rare. He's having a hard time sleeping at night, which means Bobby and I are having a hard time sleeping at night, too. Argh!

Two young kids is on the edge of what I feel I can handle as a mom. I don't get to enjoy either of the kids as richly as I want to. It's a treat for me to take just Alice to the store. It's a rare treasure to spend 10 minutes on the floor with just Robert. I still can't believe I'm a mom of two most days. I love this work more than I thought I would. Honestly. After a good night's sleep, I can't even imagine wanting to do anything else. Really, truly. It's a Gobstopper: hard and sweet and difficult to describe when your life/mouth is full of it.

Double Ear Infection

Fussy, fussy, fussy Robert,
Clinging like a static-y skirt.
Give him a dose of Tylenol
He still acts like he's hurt.

Won't eat, won't play, won't sleep a wink.
His body gets all hot.
"It can't be ear infection, Bud,
You haven't any snot!"

Reluctant trip to see the Doc.
(Some desperation, too)
"Ah yes, it's ear infection, ma'am
And not just one, but TWO."

Amoxicillin, you're my pal.
You stink, you're pink, but hey
For bringing back my little boy,
You're welcome any day*.

*any day you are medically warranted and properly prescribed by a licensed professional, of course.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

Perhaps it is just the lazy Sunday after noon but no one really remembers much or what happened this week, so I assume it must have been been an fairly normal week, except for the week end. We had stake conference this week and Elder Bednar came. We had many different meetings, so Saturday and today have been rather busy. Although today was not as busy as my usual Sunday, hence the lazy Sunday afternoon.

Alice's Friend

In Alice's preschool last week, their topic was friends and friendship. For show and tell they were asked to share something about one of their friends and possibly bring a picture, if they had one. Alice has several friends she loves (and asks) to play with countless times a day. I thought this would be a very easy show and tell. I mentally sorted through our pictures to see if we might have a picture of any friend she happened to choose. This girl surprised me yet again. I asked her, "Which friend would you like to talk about in show and tell?" She replied with a grin, "Wobert." And this is the picture she chose to share:

A Robert by any other name...

I found this the other day and wanted to record it somewhere. Blog wins. It's a list of names I was considering while pregnant with Robert. I had intended to bring it with me to the hospital, but it had fallen off of my nightstand at some point. We were holding that little baby, looking at him, listening to him, and trying to figure out who he was. It took us a while, especially since I couldn't remember half of the names I had been considering for so long. Even after we decided he was Robert Jerald, it took some time for the name to fit. I can't imagine him as anyone else anymore.

I've often thought about the other names my parents were considering for me. My mom tells me they thought about Karen, Susan, and Steven (gender was a surprise at birth back then). I wonder how my life might have been different as a Karen. 

Dentist Visit

Alice runs into preschool this morning, throws her backpack into her cubby, spots her teacher and shrieks in excitement, "Mrs. Strom! I went to the dentist!"

"You went to the dentist? What did they do?"

(I was dying to hear what Alice would say, so I hid around the corner)

"They sucked my spit!"

"Oh, wow!"

"And they gave me a new toothbrush!" She runs to her backpack and pulls out a little flosser. "And a blue flosser!"

She cares more about the new brush and flosser than the mini beach ball, the sticker, and neat little bubble timer she also received during this visit. I think she officially collects toothbrushes now.

We prepped her for some time about what to expect on her first visit to the dentist. We talked about the squishy chair that moves, the flashlight in your face, opening your mouth so they can count your teeth...blah blah blah. Nothing surprised her except the spit sucker. I forgot about that. She tolerated "Mr. Thirsty" once or twice and then politely refused any more. She sat there nervously with her mouth wide open so the hygenist could count teeth, scrape plaque, polish, AND paint on a fluoride treatment (Confession: even I don't sit through a polishing. Can't stand it. I've refused it ever since I learned it was not actually necessary for clean teeth). This girl amazed me. I sat at her feet on the chair, she held my hands/arms, and Robert played on the floor. Both of these kids blew me away.

They're not normal, y'know. I just keep testing them to see what they'll do and they keep doing stuff like this: polite obedience, patient waiting, and comfortable interaction with every person they meet. How will I ever learn how to set boundaries if they keep being so self-limiting? Count my blessings, right? Or wait/prepare in secret terror for the day they suddenly decide to test all the limits at once.

*sigh*

The dentist concluded that Alice has nice, strong teeth and no cavities. Woo hoo! She also commented that it's nice to see so many gaps between baby teeth (i.e. Poulson pebble teeth) because that means there's less chance of crowding later on. My family may not have problems with crowding, but many end up with braces anyway.

She also confirmed my suspicion that fruit snacks were of the devil. Not in so many words, but I got the hint.

Looking for Time Again

Several new points to ponder and no time to ponder them. Sigh. I'm over-scheduled again. Gotta rework my routine. When I get the time, I'd love to tell you about these things:

• Robert learning to roll over and getting angry about it
• Alice's first trip to the dentist. What a good sport!
• Robert's budding personality, curiosity, and energy
• Taking a friend to visit her husband in prison
• House renovations and growing blind to the chaos
• The importance of regularly changing your furnace filters *sigh*

Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has been a lot like last week. More home improvement. But much more slowly this time. We are trying to do some of the finish work on the floor which is a bit slower then just laying down the large expanses. Robert is betting bigger and more desirous to walk. Every chance he gets he will grab our fingers and throw himself on to the floor to try and finger walk. He also has an amazing reach. He will tuck his feet under him and lean forward until he is almost on his knees to grab something. he he will go back to siting. This leads to a few face plants, but he is surprisingly good at knowing his boundaries.

Haircut Attempt

Our "Saturday Family Fun" activity last weekend was haircuts. Yeah, yeah, kinda lame for everyone except Alice who giggled and jumped and begged for her turn. This particular haircut won't make my top 20 list. It's a real hack job. Sharper scissors would help. A lot. And maybe some haircutting training.

Anyway, I see Robert's hair is hanging over the tops of his ears and think a spiffy little haircut will make him look even spiffier in his Sunday duds the next day. I plop the boy down, drape him in the gown, and make the first cut right above his left ear. A clump of light brown baby hair flutters to the floor and I regret it instantly. It's not just that the straight cut looks completely terrible. Terrible like...like...like his mom just took a pair of scissors and cut straight above his ear:

No, the part I most regret is seeing that little clump of baby hair on the floor.

What?! Since when am I the kind of person to get sentimental over haircuts?!

This boy's babyhood is different, somehow, from my experience with Alice (uh, duh Susan). I want him to grow up enough to make my life easier, but I don't want him to really grow up.

Despite this sudden longing to preserve Robert's fleeting babyhood, I still have to fix my (second) hack job. I take the clippers and run a 7/8ths inch length all over his head. It graduates the straight cut enough to hide a bit of my shame, but now there is even more baby hair on the floor and I'm getting more emotional by the second. His fuzzy halo remains, though severely crippled. Hope springs anew. It may grow back.

Changed my mind

After a terrible night like last night, I decided it's probably too early to put them together in one room. Alice woke up several times with a stuffy nose and Robert had one of his random wakings with lots of crying. I got very little rest between 10 and 1, but at least each of the kids only woke up with their own issues.

Decision made: I'm keeping them apart a little while longer.

(sigh of relief)

Note: I should clarify that I haven't actually put them in the same room yet. Each kid had a bad night on the same night, independent of the other kid. I can only imagine how much more frazzled I would feel if they had been in the same room waking each other up. I will probably consider putting them together in another 6 months.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has been very long and stressful. We had a lot happen to the house.  We got new carpet throughout the entire house.  We had to move all  the furniture to the kitchen or the garage.  And it is not all back yet.  I also worked on the bathroom a bit more yesterday. Now it is all done but a little painting, on the base boards. And it actually looks fairly good.

Why put them together?

Now that our house has been emptied into the garage, I'm taking a new look at how we use our space. I'm rearranging the living room furniture and contemplating a new sleeping arrangement for the kids. I know, I know, I tried this before when Robert was a couple days old. It didn't work out then. Why do I have this crazy "need" to put my two kids in the same room for sleeping? Doesn't that just set me up for a world of co-wakings? And yet I have this evil desire to put them together...just to make them (and us) do it. It's not a very rational thought, so I'm using this blog entry today as a space to consider my options. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter, if you'd like to leave a comment or shoot me an email.

Why keeping them apart is attractive:

1. Different nap and quiet time schedules. In separate rooms, Alice can play as long and loudly as she likes while Robert sleeps away.  Her quiet time starts whenever it's convenient for me. He sleeps when he needs to. No need to delay quiet time because of a nap, or make the kid sleep in the living room because quiet time isn't quite over yet.
2. Different bed time expectations. After the bed time routine, Alice sits in her bed for some time looking at books and listening to music or stories on her CD player. She also keeps the light on all night. Robert nurses in the dark 'till drowsy, then goes into the crib with a pacifier and his blanket. Dark silence. Both traditions/expectations would have to change significantly to accommodate each other.
3. Each kid has space to call his/her own. This probably doesn't matter so much right now, but it's really important to me as they get older. 
4. We have the space. A three-bedroom house allows each child his/her own room, and it's not like we've found a different use for that room that suits us. Before Robert came along, his room was a storage room. Technically called an "office" because it contained our printer and internet router, but mostly it was a black hole where we threw things whenever company came. Oh yeah, it also stored a few hundred pounds of food storage. I guess that's kinda important.
5. They won't wake each other up in the middle of the night. Both kids "sleep through the night" (meaning they are physically capable of it and usually accomplishing 10-12 hours of continuous sleep a night), but between the periodically teething/sick/gassy infant and the periodically sick/thirsty/cold preschooler we tend to be awakened once a night. They don't tend to wake up one another, though, because they sleep in separate rooms with the doors closed.

Why putting them together is attractive:

1. I'm curious to see what will happen. Will they sleep better or worse? Will they play together better or worse?
2. Adds a new dimension to the sibling relationship.  I'm always thinking about their developing relationship. Yeah, it's the psychologist in me. I have a lot of control over their relationship now before Robert talks and moves and pesters her for fun. I have this crazy idea that if I foster a strong, positive relationship now, then the hard times to come won't be so hard. I'm trying to build a buffer. Am I trying to control something that's uncontrollable?
3. Alice likes company.
4. Robert likes company.
5. They like each other. I think they'll have fun.
6. Maybe we could use the "extra" room for something else. We don't get enough guests to dedicate an entire room year-round to them, but it would be nice to have a private-like public space that guests could stay in, like an office or play room. I really like to give guests a private space with a lockable door. 
7. Two kids in two rooms seems like a luxury. I don't pay for luxury goods, so why use my space so luxuriously? It seems like I'm being wasteful by giving the kids so much luxury. Spoiling them, maybe. 
8. And, well...I'm a little embarrassed to admit this in a public space...I've got a little obsessive-compulsive tendency to gather things and sort them. Some people hate putting toys away and folding laundry and emptying the dishwasher, but I kinda like sorting and gathering like items and tucking them away into their little places. A little collection of kids in one room seems so much neater and pleasing to me than spreading them out all over the house. 

So, there you have it. Those are the arguments in my head. Now here's the analysis. If I put the kids together and turn the extra room into a play room, then most of my concerns about combining them are alleviated: Alice's quiet time and Robert's naps can take place in separate places (Alice in the play room, Robert in the bedroom). Bed time is a little trickier. Maybe Alice can use wireless headphones and keep a small lamp on by her bed. That's something I should try, actually, before moving her bed anywhere.

I asked Alice about it and she loves the idea of sharing a room with Robert. She actually wanted to sleep in the crib with him, but I told her the crib was off-limits. She considered that for a while and decided that she's still interested. I wonder if she likes the sharing idea well enough to change her bed time habits.

How much is a pair of wireless headphones anyway...Amazon has them for $20. Let's have a chat with the girlie-girl.

If she's willing to try it, then I'm willing to make the move. Her bed is pretty easy to move and a pair of wireless headphones will be a useful addition to our technology stash, regardless. And I'm just plain curious to see what the heck will happen.