I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, just killing time, before some gigantic event suddenly appears and changes everything I know into something new. That's no surprise, considering I'm due on Saturday, but it's surprising how much it bugs me. There's an urgency to finish something, everything, anything before the time "runs out". But how much time do I have?
All I REALLY want to do is go through hours of labor and get this baby thing started. All the other tasks on my to-do list just don't excite me anymore. I'm listless and tense at the same time. So odd. How will this labor play out? How much time will we have to make arrangements for Alice? How much will it hurt? How on earth will I wrap my brain around another kid...is there room in my foggy, hormone-laden brain for another little life? Will I remember how to take care of a newborn? To take care of myself?
I also have a hard time thinking that it will actually happen. I've spent so long now waiting for it, expecting it, setting my own due dates for it that come and go, that I'm starting to believe it might never come. Somehow, the possibility of it coming seems just as likely as the possibility of it NEVER coming.
Such a strange mindset to exist in...
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Names, names, names
We've been throwing around names to give Baby Zurg once he's born. Alice has suggested several variants on the "Zurg" theme: Zurgy-Zurg, Zurgah, Zurgissa. She's also fond of impossibly long strings of nonsensical syllables: To-seeta-ro-an-uh-yee-ow-issa-eekoo-yun.
Then today she came up with "Jujubee." I think this one actually has potential :)
Then today she came up with "Jujubee." I think this one actually has potential :)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Bobby's Sunday Summary
This week was a very long week. Susan is still pregnant, and she has been doing as much as she normally does so she has been very busy. As the days go on some things get more difficult to do, but she still does them very well, and before I get angry comments about why I am not helping this poor pregnant woman out, I am, but this week has been very stressful too. We have a big deadline coming up on Monday. On Friday what we were working on still was not operating properly. So I had to spend a few hours on Saturday to debug it and get it all working. I am glad that we managed to get close enough that it only took a few hours, but it was still very frustrating that it did not work out as well as I had hoped.
Yesterday Alice picked play an instrument from the star sticks and Susan decided to play the drums with Alice. It turned out to be a lot of fun.
Yesterday Alice picked play an instrument from the star sticks and Susan decided to play the drums with Alice. It turned out to be a lot of fun.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A Little Bit of Chaos Can Be Fun
So, I like control. Having Alice has helped me understand (better) the things I can and cannot control in my life, in her life, in our house, and all around me. The key for me has been keeping control in areas that are REALLY important to me and letting go of (the desire for) control in everything else. For example, it's important to me that Alice wears real clothes outside (i.e. no pajamas in public). She gets to choose the ensemble, even if it's solid red pants, a sparkly red shirt, purple rain boots, and red stockings on her head. Yup, she's actually worn that a few times.
Along this general theme, we've started 3 new traditions in our family:
The "Date Night In" Jar
I recently discovered that predictable, semi-structured time alone with Bobby is REALLY important to me. Call it "date night" if you will, but I have several hangups with traditional "dating": I don't like to spend money, I don't like the pressure of coming up with something "date-y" on a regular basis, most traditional date ideas don't produce the kind of interaction I crave/need, and I rarely want to go OUT and do something, much less arrange babysitting and worry about how much of an imposition our request is on the sitter. Hence, I never felt like going on a date, and yet I was constantly feeling frustrated that our evenings and weekends were spent in each other's presence but not each other's company.
My friend then suggested the "Date Night In" jar. I was intrigued. Each person writes down 10 "at-home date" ideas that you can do as a couple after the kid(s) have gone to bed. Our kid goes to bed pretty early, so that works well for us. You throw the ideas in a jar and pick one randomly every week. You get to control the kinds of activities/interaction that go into the jar, but it's kind of exciting to see which one you'll end up doing that night. The important part is taken care of: regular, semi-structured time alone with Bobby. The details are left to chance. More fun that way.
Saturday Family Fun
We've also made a similar jar called "Saturday Family Fun." Weekends are rough on me as a mom because I want family time, but I also want a break from kid(s), but I hate to leave my family alone when this is the only time we can all be together. Now, there's a solution! Bobby and I throw a bunch of family activity ideas into a jar and Alice gets to pick one every week. Some cost money, some don't. Some take all day, some take only a few minutes. Most require a little preparation/planning, but the hardest part is taken care of: deciding to do something! Last week, we made treats for our friends (haven't delivered them all yet, sorry). Next week, we may go to the indoor pool or take a walk or play board games. It's a huge relief to me because the important thing (i.e. doing something together as a family) is taken care of. The details are left to chance. The rest of the day comes together around that activity, and I can happily schedule in some alone-time for me.
Star Sticks
Our friends gave Alice an amazing birthday gift: Star Sticks. It follows the same theme as the previous two ideas. We come to a lull in the day/routine and need an idea to spark the next activity. Alice pulls out a Star Stick and we're off again! Alice and I both love, love, love this game. It's exciting! Here are the activities listed on our Star Sticks:
Play with instruments
Read a book (x2)
Watch a movie
Play a game
Ride bikes
Play with cars
Play with blocks
Go for a walk
Draw a picture
Play ball outside
Draw with sidewalk chalk
Play with play-dough
Do a puzzle
Sing songs
Do a finger painting
Write a letter
Do a dance
Make shadow puppets
Make cookies
It cracks me up when Alice says, "Let's choose a Star Stick!" Then under her breath she mumbles, "Shadow puppets! Shadow puppets!" And since we're choosing several of these a day, you can get creative with how each activity is done. Shadow puppets may be with your hands, or you can make puppets on popsicle sticks. Drawing a picture could be with crayons on paper or chocolate pudding on plates. Singing songs can be a cappella or accompanied or recorded on tape/camera for grandparents. Go for a walk in the neighborhood or walk with friends at the sculpture garden. We don't have any play-dough, so the first time Alice picks that activity, we'll get to make it together. We don't have many instruments, so if she's not in the mood to pluck a guitar we can assemble water bottle shakers or make rubber band banjos. I love how the activities are so simple and therefore wide open to interpretation and completely flexible according to how much time you want to invest.
Along this general theme, we've started 3 new traditions in our family:
The "Date Night In" Jar
I recently discovered that predictable, semi-structured time alone with Bobby is REALLY important to me. Call it "date night" if you will, but I have several hangups with traditional "dating": I don't like to spend money, I don't like the pressure of coming up with something "date-y" on a regular basis, most traditional date ideas don't produce the kind of interaction I crave/need, and I rarely want to go OUT and do something, much less arrange babysitting and worry about how much of an imposition our request is on the sitter. Hence, I never felt like going on a date, and yet I was constantly feeling frustrated that our evenings and weekends were spent in each other's presence but not each other's company.
My friend then suggested the "Date Night In" jar. I was intrigued. Each person writes down 10 "at-home date" ideas that you can do as a couple after the kid(s) have gone to bed. Our kid goes to bed pretty early, so that works well for us. You throw the ideas in a jar and pick one randomly every week. You get to control the kinds of activities/interaction that go into the jar, but it's kind of exciting to see which one you'll end up doing that night. The important part is taken care of: regular, semi-structured time alone with Bobby. The details are left to chance. More fun that way.
Saturday Family Fun
We've also made a similar jar called "Saturday Family Fun." Weekends are rough on me as a mom because I want family time, but I also want a break from kid(s), but I hate to leave my family alone when this is the only time we can all be together. Now, there's a solution! Bobby and I throw a bunch of family activity ideas into a jar and Alice gets to pick one every week. Some cost money, some don't. Some take all day, some take only a few minutes. Most require a little preparation/planning, but the hardest part is taken care of: deciding to do something! Last week, we made treats for our friends (haven't delivered them all yet, sorry). Next week, we may go to the indoor pool or take a walk or play board games. It's a huge relief to me because the important thing (i.e. doing something together as a family) is taken care of. The details are left to chance. The rest of the day comes together around that activity, and I can happily schedule in some alone-time for me.
Star Sticks
Our friends gave Alice an amazing birthday gift: Star Sticks. It follows the same theme as the previous two ideas. We come to a lull in the day/routine and need an idea to spark the next activity. Alice pulls out a Star Stick and we're off again! Alice and I both love, love, love this game. It's exciting! Here are the activities listed on our Star Sticks:
Play with instruments
Read a book (x2)
Watch a movie
Play a game
Ride bikes
Play with cars
Play with blocks
Go for a walk
Draw a picture
Play ball outside
Draw with sidewalk chalk
Play with play-dough
Do a puzzle
Sing songs
Do a finger painting
Write a letter
Do a dance
Make shadow puppets
Make cookies
It cracks me up when Alice says, "Let's choose a Star Stick!" Then under her breath she mumbles, "Shadow puppets! Shadow puppets!" And since we're choosing several of these a day, you can get creative with how each activity is done. Shadow puppets may be with your hands, or you can make puppets on popsicle sticks. Drawing a picture could be with crayons on paper or chocolate pudding on plates. Singing songs can be a cappella or accompanied or recorded on tape/camera for grandparents. Go for a walk in the neighborhood or walk with friends at the sculpture garden. We don't have any play-dough, so the first time Alice picks that activity, we'll get to make it together. We don't have many instruments, so if she's not in the mood to pluck a guitar we can assemble water bottle shakers or make rubber band banjos. I love how the activities are so simple and therefore wide open to interpretation and completely flexible according to how much time you want to invest.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Bobby's Sunday Summary
This week has been more of the same. Susan is still pregnant; work is still there and going well; and Alice is growing bigger and bigger every day. We did go out to see a movie this week, so that was different, but for the most part it has felt like a fairly normal week, which is probably very good seeing how Susan could go into labor at any time, so a little bit of normal might be very good.
Monday, March 15, 2010
37 weeks
Baby Zurg has officially stayed in utero longer than Alice did. It was a monumental moment, actually, when my water DIDN'T break at 10 pm on Wednesday, March 10th...the moment I apparently held in reserve for Zurg's labor to start. Since then, I've decided to forget about the fact that I have no control over the timing of his birth and just go back to living my life. My calendar is pretty full this week :) He's also moving around less (getting pretty cramped in there) and I think I actually got used to the annoying physical aches and pains this week. Prayers of friends and family certainly made a difference. Thanks to you for that.
I met with Kristi Higgs this morning, another midwife. It was a cheerful meeting and I was happy to have met with her again. Each midwife is SO different. I ask the same question to each one and each response is slightly different. Kristi invited me to have the baby this Wednesday while she's on call. I said that would work well for me. Bobby agrees, though we might have to name the babe Patrick or Joshua-Zurg in honor of the two males we've ever associated with St. Patrick's Day ;)
We received our official Federal Census 2010 packet today, but we can't fill it out until we know whether Baby Zurg gets to be included this time around. You're supposed to fill it out for your household as of April 1st, 2010. If he's not born by then, he won't be recorded on a census until he's 10.
"C'mon, buddy, it's a census! You don't want to miss this!"
I met with Kristi Higgs this morning, another midwife. It was a cheerful meeting and I was happy to have met with her again. Each midwife is SO different. I ask the same question to each one and each response is slightly different. Kristi invited me to have the baby this Wednesday while she's on call. I said that would work well for me. Bobby agrees, though we might have to name the babe Patrick or Joshua-Zurg in honor of the two males we've ever associated with St. Patrick's Day ;)
We received our official Federal Census 2010 packet today, but we can't fill it out until we know whether Baby Zurg gets to be included this time around. You're supposed to fill it out for your household as of April 1st, 2010. If he's not born by then, he won't be recorded on a census until he's 10.
"C'mon, buddy, it's a census! You don't want to miss this!"
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Alice Turns 3!
Happy Birthday to Alice! Our big girl is getting bigger, and reminding us of it every day. This morning, she woke up and came into our room to snuggle. We bewildered her by singing "Today is Your Birthday" before she got under the blanket and snuggled down into my pillow. She asked if I could go make her breakfast while she kept resting. I laughed out loud, then rolled out of bed. It's her birthday after all, right? She requested yogurt and cereal.
It was a relaxed morning. Bobby left for his usual meetings and we got started on Alice's birthday dessert. Despite many not-so-subtle attempts to sway her towards choosing a birthday pie, Alice finally decided on a "yellow animal cake" and "rainbow ice cream." She did choose a round cake, though, unassisted. She settled on chocolate cake with yellow buttercream frosting and a generous helping of circus animal cookies. Pure, sugary joy. I don't remember animal cookies being fluorescent before. Anyway, Alice helped with every step, even deciding that she would prefer two short cakes instead of one tall cake. While the cakes baked, she took a luxurious bath with cherry-scented shampoo and a full-length mirror nearby (I can't thank our neighbors enough for loaning us that mirror! Alice is a total ham and can't get enough of herself, especially in the tub!) Here she is just after the bath when we finished decorating the cakes with cookies:
When we got home from church, Alice somehow stumbled across my stash of 3T summer clothes in her closet and picked out a new party dress to wear. Pink and flowey...no surprise. Then she placed the candles in her cake.
We ate dinner and played around until the Evanses arrived for dessert. Grandma Poulson surprised us with a birthday call and Alice surprised us with the news that she expected Grandma and Grandpa to be coming to the party that night. Uh-oh. We had talked several times about Grandma coming to visit after Baby Zurg is born, but somehow Alice thought that trip included her birthday party as well. She sobbed and sobbed when we broke the news. It made Grandma feel terrible, of course, but Alice's especially dramatic outburst was a clear indication of her fatigue, not any emotional trauma caused by Grandma's phone call. At least you know you're loved, Mom, and we're both eager for you to come visit :)
The Evanses gave Alice a neat collection of "progressive" animal puzzles that have 4, 6, or 9 pieces per puzzle and I finally gave her the rainbow bedroll thingy I made. Both gifts were thoroughly enjoyed by Alice and Will while the adults chatted the rest of the evening. It was a very relaxing and fun event for me. I could do birthdays like this any time :)
Perhaps I should take a few moments to ponder how my life has changed since Alice got involved? Or maybe this is the moment to muse about this amazing little person I've absolutely loved loving for three years?
Unfortunately, I'm not feeling philosophical or nostalgic at the moment. I do plenty of that on this blog anyway :) I did, however, gain yet another insight into this mother-of-two issue I've been mulling over. Today at church we sat next to our friends who have a 2-year-old and a 2-month-old. Then I watched Will and Kayla play at our house tonight. I knew both of those families pretty well before either of the 2nd children came along, and yet I can no longer imagine either family without their youngest child. Remembering them with only one child seems lonely, somehow, even when it was just right for the time. This revelation gives me hope.
Is it possible that I might remember these times with "just Alice" as somehow having missed something? Will all this turmoil about being a one-on-one mom to two kids melt away once my memory of "life with one" fades a bit? I doubt it's that easy, but I have hope now that it won't be impossibly difficult.
Phooey, I guess I was feeling a bit philosophical after all :)
It was a relaxed morning. Bobby left for his usual meetings and we got started on Alice's birthday dessert. Despite many not-so-subtle attempts to sway her towards choosing a birthday pie, Alice finally decided on a "yellow animal cake" and "rainbow ice cream." She did choose a round cake, though, unassisted. She settled on chocolate cake with yellow buttercream frosting and a generous helping of circus animal cookies. Pure, sugary joy. I don't remember animal cookies being fluorescent before. Anyway, Alice helped with every step, even deciding that she would prefer two short cakes instead of one tall cake. While the cakes baked, she took a luxurious bath with cherry-scented shampoo and a full-length mirror nearby (I can't thank our neighbors enough for loaning us that mirror! Alice is a total ham and can't get enough of herself, especially in the tub!) Here she is just after the bath when we finished decorating the cakes with cookies:
When we got home from church, Alice somehow stumbled across my stash of 3T summer clothes in her closet and picked out a new party dress to wear. Pink and flowey...no surprise. Then she placed the candles in her cake.
We ate dinner and played around until the Evanses arrived for dessert. Grandma Poulson surprised us with a birthday call and Alice surprised us with the news that she expected Grandma and Grandpa to be coming to the party that night. Uh-oh. We had talked several times about Grandma coming to visit after Baby Zurg is born, but somehow Alice thought that trip included her birthday party as well. She sobbed and sobbed when we broke the news. It made Grandma feel terrible, of course, but Alice's especially dramatic outburst was a clear indication of her fatigue, not any emotional trauma caused by Grandma's phone call. At least you know you're loved, Mom, and we're both eager for you to come visit :)
We wasted no time breaking into the cake and ice cream as soon as the Evanses arrived.
The Evanses gave Alice a neat collection of "progressive" animal puzzles that have 4, 6, or 9 pieces per puzzle and I finally gave her the rainbow bedroll thingy I made. Both gifts were thoroughly enjoyed by Alice and Will while the adults chatted the rest of the evening. It was a very relaxing and fun event for me. I could do birthdays like this any time :)
Perhaps I should take a few moments to ponder how my life has changed since Alice got involved? Or maybe this is the moment to muse about this amazing little person I've absolutely loved loving for three years?
Unfortunately, I'm not feeling philosophical or nostalgic at the moment. I do plenty of that on this blog anyway :) I did, however, gain yet another insight into this mother-of-two issue I've been mulling over. Today at church we sat next to our friends who have a 2-year-old and a 2-month-old. Then I watched Will and Kayla play at our house tonight. I knew both of those families pretty well before either of the 2nd children came along, and yet I can no longer imagine either family without their youngest child. Remembering them with only one child seems lonely, somehow, even when it was just right for the time. This revelation gives me hope.
Is it possible that I might remember these times with "just Alice" as somehow having missed something? Will all this turmoil about being a one-on-one mom to two kids melt away once my memory of "life with one" fades a bit? I doubt it's that easy, but I have hope now that it won't be impossibly difficult.
Phooey, I guess I was feeling a bit philosophical after all :)
Mouse House
After a long, cold winter, I opened the shed door to review the garden seeds I had on hand and which I would want to order new for this year's growing season. I discovered piles of shredded seed packets soiled by rodent droppings. Grrr. Not only was my seed stash completely destroyed, but the mouse had eaten all of our grass seed as well. This weekend, Bobby pulled out the grill to smoke a couple pork roasts and discovered this:
It's a snugly little home built of fiberglass insulation located only a few feet from a delicious garden seed buffet. The mouse had apparently left some time ago. There's no telling how many generations of mice we unknowingly nurtured through the cold winter.
It's a snugly little home built of fiberglass insulation located only a few feet from a delicious garden seed buffet. The mouse had apparently left some time ago. There's no telling how many generations of mice we unknowingly nurtured through the cold winter.
Dinosaurs for Lunch
Whole wheat bread, pinto beans, cheddar cheese, green beans, strawberry slices, and a pair of tights on your head: Sunday morning brunch.
Bobby's Sunday Summary
This week has been a busy one. My boss was still in town this week so we could have a big planing meeting on Tuesday. It wet well, but it made for a very long day. Along with that we have been finishing up a big release, so it has made for a few hectic days. Add to that the son of one of my co-workers had his appendix burst, and has had to be at the hospital or attending to their other kids a lot this week. But it all worked out and on Friday when I left at 5 everything was ready to go.
Saturday was an interesting day. I spent the day smoking two pork roasts for pulled pork. We had an Elder's Quorum dinner that night. And the pork turned out really well.
Monday, March 8, 2010
36 weeks and counting
I saw the midwife again today. This time I met with Vanessa, the newest midwife in the group, who is still completing her training. She has to deliver 100 babies with other midwives' supervision before she's allowed to deliver any unsupervised. She's about half way through, I think. Anyway, she's young and disarming and immediately likeable.
Zurg is measuring average and right on schedule. He favors the left side and has several boney bits that favor the right side. That's where all the action in these days. Vanessa was audibly surprised by the length of my torso. I've never actually measured it against other women's torsos, nor seen a percentile chart for torso length, but she confirmed what I have suspected for a long time: I have a longish torso. I hate clothes shopping for several reasons, and shirt length is one of them.
Vanessa also said something quite profound that I've been mulling over ever since. I was telling her about all my "new" physical woes from this pregnancy, trying to keep upbeat about it, but honest. She nodded her head and said in all loving seriousness, "Yeah, the first child tends to prime the pump. That's the life of the second child: always dealing with the path the first one has laid down." Suddenly, I saw baby Zurg in a whole new light. Was it pity? A little. Alice is a tough act to follow ("If he's not freakishly obedient and absurdly responsible, I just don't know what I'll do with the child!"). No, it was more like camaraderie. I know what it's like to have older siblings lay a path long before you ever start making choices. Suddenly, I felt like he was on my team! Maybe the boy and I have more in common than I thought :)
The most striking part of this encounter with the midwife, however, was the insight I gained as a parent: Alice and Zurg are inextricably connected. Here I was, secretly holding Zurg responsible for any little hiccup or twinge that seemed different from my memory of Alice in utero, when it was Alice's presence in the first place that made all these hiccups and twinges possible. There is no line where Alice ends and Zurg starts. They are distinct individuals but completely intertwined as siblings: sharing time, space, and family. They will share memories. They will learn from each other. Zurg will never know the difference, and Alice may never remember it. Why did I never see this before? How could I grow up in a house full of people and never feel inextricably connected to them, forever influenced by them? I see now that I have always been connected and influenced by my siblings, but it just wasn't obvious enough for me to recognize outright.
Why do I keep trying to make Alice and Zurg mutually exclusive beings? If you've read this blog much the last 8 months, you know this is a topic I revisit often. I think this young and disarming midwife stumbled upon the root of my parental anxiety: it's impossible to keep siblings mutually exclusive. What a terrifying thought! I tend to be most comfortable in situations where I can focus on one person almost exclusively (be it friendship or dating or parenthood). I tend to take people one at a time. Can I be a one-at-a-time mom to two kids? How does that work? It's hard enough on weekends being a mom AND a spouse AND an individual. I haven't learned to handle that very well...just ask Bobby :) Weekends can be pretty rough on me.
I get the feeling this is something that can't/won't be resolved until I see it in practice.
*sigh*
At least Alice has it all figured out. When she's divvying markers or treats or game pieces, she gives me two. One for me and one for Baby Zurg. She counts four people in our family, every time. He's as real as real can be to her. He laughs at her silly antics and he's always saying something silly back. He's probably a lot more fun now than he will be the first few months after his official birthday. That's sure to disappoint her. Then again, I may be the surprised one in the end. I'm getting surprised a lot these days.
That reminds me. When Alice goes through a clumsy phase where she's tripping and stumbling a lot, I tell her that's a sure sign that her body is growing. Her interpretation: "Bonks make me grow!" Perhaps all these surprises and emotional snags are part of my own growing process, eh?
Zurg is measuring average and right on schedule. He favors the left side and has several boney bits that favor the right side. That's where all the action in these days. Vanessa was audibly surprised by the length of my torso. I've never actually measured it against other women's torsos, nor seen a percentile chart for torso length, but she confirmed what I have suspected for a long time: I have a longish torso. I hate clothes shopping for several reasons, and shirt length is one of them.
Vanessa also said something quite profound that I've been mulling over ever since. I was telling her about all my "new" physical woes from this pregnancy, trying to keep upbeat about it, but honest. She nodded her head and said in all loving seriousness, "Yeah, the first child tends to prime the pump. That's the life of the second child: always dealing with the path the first one has laid down." Suddenly, I saw baby Zurg in a whole new light. Was it pity? A little. Alice is a tough act to follow ("If he's not freakishly obedient and absurdly responsible, I just don't know what I'll do with the child!"). No, it was more like camaraderie. I know what it's like to have older siblings lay a path long before you ever start making choices. Suddenly, I felt like he was on my team! Maybe the boy and I have more in common than I thought :)
The most striking part of this encounter with the midwife, however, was the insight I gained as a parent: Alice and Zurg are inextricably connected. Here I was, secretly holding Zurg responsible for any little hiccup or twinge that seemed different from my memory of Alice in utero, when it was Alice's presence in the first place that made all these hiccups and twinges possible. There is no line where Alice ends and Zurg starts. They are distinct individuals but completely intertwined as siblings: sharing time, space, and family. They will share memories. They will learn from each other. Zurg will never know the difference, and Alice may never remember it. Why did I never see this before? How could I grow up in a house full of people and never feel inextricably connected to them, forever influenced by them? I see now that I have always been connected and influenced by my siblings, but it just wasn't obvious enough for me to recognize outright.
Why do I keep trying to make Alice and Zurg mutually exclusive beings? If you've read this blog much the last 8 months, you know this is a topic I revisit often. I think this young and disarming midwife stumbled upon the root of my parental anxiety: it's impossible to keep siblings mutually exclusive. What a terrifying thought! I tend to be most comfortable in situations where I can focus on one person almost exclusively (be it friendship or dating or parenthood). I tend to take people one at a time. Can I be a one-at-a-time mom to two kids? How does that work? It's hard enough on weekends being a mom AND a spouse AND an individual. I haven't learned to handle that very well...just ask Bobby :) Weekends can be pretty rough on me.
I get the feeling this is something that can't/won't be resolved until I see it in practice.
*sigh*
At least Alice has it all figured out. When she's divvying markers or treats or game pieces, she gives me two. One for me and one for Baby Zurg. She counts four people in our family, every time. He's as real as real can be to her. He laughs at her silly antics and he's always saying something silly back. He's probably a lot more fun now than he will be the first few months after his official birthday. That's sure to disappoint her. Then again, I may be the surprised one in the end. I'm getting surprised a lot these days.
That reminds me. When Alice goes through a clumsy phase where she's tripping and stumbling a lot, I tell her that's a sure sign that her body is growing. Her interpretation: "Bonks make me grow!" Perhaps all these surprises and emotional snags are part of my own growing process, eh?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
My belly button hurts
In addition to the frequent migraines, leg nerve pain, and freakish amounts of gaseous bloating exclusively associated (so far) with the third trimester of this pregnancy, I now have a sore belly button. It feels like it's stretched out and bruised. Alice's daily snuggles and lap-sitting moments are less enjoyable than they used to be :( New stretch marks also tell me I'm a little more round than I was with Alice. I'm trying to remain positive about these temporary physical changes, trying to see them as progress towards a very desirable end. I actually feel guilty complaining about physical trivialities when we've been blessed with not only another child, but a healthy one. *sigh* At the same time, I'm really looking forward to the day my guts (and his heels) move out of my rib cage.
Bobby's Sunday Summary
This week has been a bit of an odd one, and most of it centered around monday. Monday morning at about 3 am I woke up with abdominal pain. I thought it was just gas so I got up moved around a bit but it didn't go away. Fearing the worst I went to the walk in clinic to see a doctor. I actually did see a doctor, not even a resident, which is a little odd at this walk up clinic, I guess they were fearing the worst too. Well he felt my belly to see if it was sore, and it was so he sent me to the emergency room to be checked for appendicitis. He said that they would probably have to do an ultrasound to be sure what it was. So Susan dropped me off at the emergency room. I checked in, peed in a cup, and got in a hospital gown. Long story short I spent $300 plus dollars for them to feel my belly, check that I don't have kidney stones, and to do a small jump. No ultrasound, or cat scan or anything like that. Apparently I didn't double over in pain after doing a small jump so I didn't have it. They sent me home, but wanted me to cal back in if there were any problems. They thought it was heartburn. Well I will spare you the details, but I probably had some food poisoning, or stomach flu.
Unfortunately, my manager was traveling when I set her an e-mail saying that I was taking a sick day. So there was a lot of confusion at work about where I was. Also that day my work laptop died. It would not show anything on the screen, but everything else worked. On Tuesday I was able to get it replaced very quickly, but the replacement is really beat up compared to what I had before. So when it rains it pours, but everything is fine now.
Friday, March 5, 2010
"Yeah, Betty"
"Hey Alice, would you like some jam with your pancake?"
"Yaaaaaah, Betty!"
So, um, I had no idea where Alice came up with this odd little expression until this morning when Bobby finally heard it in context. He laughed and reminded me that I often have an odd little expression of my own, "Yaaaaaah, baby" (pronounced "beh-bee"). I laughed a long time over that one...how can my own oddities be so foreign to me?
****
Alice has also been known to throw bad guys into a "cave." I think this is because I've thrown bad guys into a "cage" and she hasn't had much experience with cages yet. Caves are found in lots of stories.
She's exploring her "bad guy" feelings these days. She likes to have "fights" with imaginary swords and guns, but only as long as you don't fight back and you stay in the cave she locks you in. Alternatively, she will play that both of you are bad guys (on the same team) and you run around the house fighting imaginary things.
Another favorite activity of hers is acting out books/stories we've read together.
One of MY favorite games with her is picking her brain for ideas. At the chalkboard, or telling stories, or acting things out, I'll ask her how she would fix this problem or handle that situation. I love to hear her answers because they're usually quite practical. I can also ask her things like, "What would you like to give so-and-so for his/her birthday?" and she'll actually come up with good ideas. It's usually something homemade and almost always something to play with.
I was prepping the garden beds yesterday while Alice was puttering around the lawn with sticks and leaves and imaginary games. She would come over every couple of minutes to "help" me (i.e. collect pebbles, pull leaves out of the beds, gather handfuls of dessicated rabbit poop, scare spiders away) and ask me all sorts of things. I realized at that moment that I actually enjoy this little personality inextricably intertmingled with my life. The thought occurred to me (for the first time) that I may find myself a little lonely when she's away at school. I then remembered a little revelation my sister shared with me about her youngest child starting Kindergarten. My sister thought she would suddenly have all this time and freedom, but it turns out that her work and responsibilities hadn't changed much since school started...she was just doing it all alone now. I sensed the change was bittersweet for her. That surprised me. A lot. My sister is not the sentimental type.
So, with that insight, I find myself re-evaluating some of my attitudes/assumptions about at-home motherhood. Perhaps Alice's presence at home doesn't actually keep me from completing my work or pursuing my interests as much as I allow myself to think it does. Of course, she's only one child. It's not too difficult to flex my schedule around one child's needs. More children will make it more challenging, of course, but not impossible. Certainly not forever.
Next spring, Alice will probably be in school when I prep the garden beds. Zurg will be the one crawling/walking/puttering around the backyard getting into rabbit poop and scaring spiders. I look forward to that :)
"Yaaaaaah, Betty!"
So, um, I had no idea where Alice came up with this odd little expression until this morning when Bobby finally heard it in context. He laughed and reminded me that I often have an odd little expression of my own, "Yaaaaaah, baby" (pronounced "beh-bee"). I laughed a long time over that one...how can my own oddities be so foreign to me?
****
She's exploring her "bad guy" feelings these days. She likes to have "fights" with imaginary swords and guns, but only as long as you don't fight back and you stay in the cave she locks you in. Alternatively, she will play that both of you are bad guys (on the same team) and you run around the house fighting imaginary things.
Another favorite activity of hers is acting out books/stories we've read together.
One of MY favorite games with her is picking her brain for ideas. At the chalkboard, or telling stories, or acting things out, I'll ask her how she would fix this problem or handle that situation. I love to hear her answers because they're usually quite practical. I can also ask her things like, "What would you like to give so-and-so for his/her birthday?" and she'll actually come up with good ideas. It's usually something homemade and almost always something to play with.
****
I was prepping the garden beds yesterday while Alice was puttering around the lawn with sticks and leaves and imaginary games. She would come over every couple of minutes to "help" me (i.e. collect pebbles, pull leaves out of the beds, gather handfuls of dessicated rabbit poop, scare spiders away) and ask me all sorts of things. I realized at that moment that I actually enjoy this little personality inextricably intertmingled with my life. The thought occurred to me (for the first time) that I may find myself a little lonely when she's away at school. I then remembered a little revelation my sister shared with me about her youngest child starting Kindergarten. My sister thought she would suddenly have all this time and freedom, but it turns out that her work and responsibilities hadn't changed much since school started...she was just doing it all alone now. I sensed the change was bittersweet for her. That surprised me. A lot. My sister is not the sentimental type.
So, with that insight, I find myself re-evaluating some of my attitudes/assumptions about at-home motherhood. Perhaps Alice's presence at home doesn't actually keep me from completing my work or pursuing my interests as much as I allow myself to think it does. Of course, she's only one child. It's not too difficult to flex my schedule around one child's needs. More children will make it more challenging, of course, but not impossible. Certainly not forever.
Next spring, Alice will probably be in school when I prep the garden beds. Zurg will be the one crawling/walking/puttering around the backyard getting into rabbit poop and scaring spiders. I look forward to that :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
