Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week felt fairly typical.  Nothing too new or out of the ordinary happened.  I am slowly working through projects on the house.  Although it does not feel like I am making much progress.  Other then that life continues slowly.

Incapacitation

Long before having kids, I was driving with a friend, chatting about our lives past and present. I noticed a trend in my friend's tales. In each case, completely unrecognized by herself, she had great ambitions about something she would like to do or change in her life and then something happened to make that ambition impossibly difficult. Most of the time, it was something to do with her kids. I couldn't understand it. How could such a motivated, creative, and energetic person suddenly be incapable of meeting her goals? This scared me as a prospective mother and I wanted to know how much time I had before the chaos started, "At what point did you begin feeling incapacitated?" My friend burst out laughing, "What on earth do you mean?"

"How old were your kids when you suddenly couldn't do the things you wanted to do anymore?"

My friend laughed even harder at this, and I didn't understand why. From my perspective then, it seemed a simple question to answer. I thought about my life at that moment: trucking through grad school, husband with a stable job, good friends close by. Then I thought about her life: interrupted, spontaneous, butting heads with kids, always craving more time with friends. When would my life transform into her life? At what point would my family make my ideas and expectations fruitless (i.e. incapacitation)? I never got a straight answer from her.

I think I was asking the wrong question (and making the wrong assumptions).

Anyway, I'm thinking about all of this now because somehow in the last few weeks, I've felt incapacitated. Is it the new house/routine/car schedule? The kids getting older? Me getting older? Whatever it is, I just don't feel as sharp as I used to be and that's bothersome. Not quite worrisome, but certainly worth noticing.

I forget about appointments or arrive 30 minutes late, therefore I look like a flake. I lose my keys and wallet at least once a month. I can't work start-to-finish on anything, anytime. Just name one thing that I should be able to do start-to-finish! I can't seem to manage it. It's hard to remember words when I need them, so half of my sentences go unfinished. Alice is even finishing them for me sometimes. I've lost the ability to plan effectively on-the-fly (even installing a retractable clothesline in the laundry room proved too complex a task for my incapacitated brain...measure twice, drill once...twice...three times...oops, just once more...got it).

It sounds like sleep deprivation, but here's the kicker: I don't always get to determine how much sleep I get. Interrupted nighttime sleep is about 100% these days, between the two kids. I go to bed on time and still don't wake feeling rested.

Now I just sound like I'm whining. That's not my intent. Not productive, either. It's just this creeping feeling that I'm turning into a flake with an unpredictable vocabulary and no way of knowing that my measuring and planning is actually going to leave THREE extra holes in my wall. That kinda bothers me. A lot.

Incapacitation = not being able to do what I want to do the way I want to do it = no longer feeling like myself.

Putting it down that way just changed everything. Holy cow!

With that equation, I just realized that I've been happy with the amount of control/focus I've had in my life up until now. That's actually pretty AWESOME. What on earth am I complaining about?! Pbbbsh. It sounds like I've got to give this a little more time and a little more rest. Lots more rest. No use spiraling into a self-pitying state prematurely ;)

Bobby's Sunday Summary

We are slowly making progress on setting up our house.  We bought some new furniture yesterday.  It should hopefully replace the cardboard boxes Susan and I have been using for nightstands, and let us not have to move chairs around the house so much when we want to eat in the dinning room.  I am also making progress on fix it projects.  Not too much to report there.  Just doing more of the same, wrapping insulation around the duct work in the crawl space.  We should may be doing more with lighting and some electrical in the near future.

As for work it is going well too.  At work I work on an open source project called Hadoop.  Because it is open source it is almost like I have two different jobs.  Or perhaps one job with two different sets of bureaucracy.  Either way my life should get a lot easier soon as another member of my team and work, and myself have been made committers.  What that means is that before this we had lots of responsibility and almost no authority to get what we want to do done.  Now we have just as much responsibility, but a little bit more authority.  It should make our lives less stressful.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

This week has been a bit crazy.  This is mostly due to work.  Because of our move I switched around when I would be on call.  Which means that if something bad happens that the people who's job it is to handle bad things cannot handle it then I get a call to come help figure out what is happening and fix it.  Well this past week while sitting on the couch with Susan watching a show I got called.  It was bad, but it was not that bad.  It was not something that we had done.  It was human error by someone else.  By the time I got online to help out they had already fixed the problem and were monitoring everything to see if it they had to do anything more.  So for the most part I just had to stay up until midnight looking at graphs showing that things were returning to normal.  This is the first time since coming to work for Yahoo! 4 years ago that I have been called while on call.  Which is really nice.

The rest of the week was good.  I was able to get a few more projects done around the house that have been bugging me, so we are slowly getting closer to being done.  But we still have a long ways to go.

We also got to go to a "Progressive" dinner that was not very progressive.  Several years ago a friend in our ward had the idea for a progressive dinner.  Unfortunately there was a lot of interest in the idea, and not enough time to really plan it all the way so it ended up being half way in-between a potluck and a progressive dinner with a bit of a lottery thrown in.  So it ends up being everyone who wants to signs up.  Couples are randomly divided up into tables with 4 couples at each table, and each is assigned a part of the meal, appetizer, main dish, side or dessert.  We made enchiladas, and someone at our table brought chips and 7 layer dip.  So our table was designated the mexican table, despite there also being Caesar Salad, and a Black Raspberry Cake, neither of which really are all that Mexican foody.  Overall it was fun, and delicious.

Snow Day

Too cold to play in all this new snow, so we made it a party inside. We made a huge mess in the kitchen preparing a double batch of Cranberry Pumpkin Orange muffins together, then ate them like the crazies we are:

Once Buddy was down for a nap, "Alice and Mommy" time commenced with a (slightly modified version) of Trouble. 

 

Alice got into it, eventually singing her little pegs home as she won by a(n engineered) slim margin. Then we colored a page in her new Strawberry Shortcake coloring book (from a birthday party yesterday) and she settled into quiet time with a new wall decoration:

Robert and I worked on this while Alice was at preschool this morning. I did the cutting and sewing, he turned the sewing machine on and off, on and off, on and off. Final size is about 6 feet tall and 3 feet wide.

I never, ever, ever wanted to decorate any of my own girl's rooms with Disney princesses. I'm still a bit mixed about this development. I have several reservations when it comes to Disney movies for kids, but the biggest annoyance is all the merchandising. When a kid thinks that Tangled is the first and only Rapunzel story out there, and that every item purchased and consumed is better simply by bearing a character's image, it gets my goat. I even like the movie Tangled and love to watch it with my kids---wait, I see a soap box inching closer, so I'll just change the subject and tell you how the decoration came together.

It was originally a "Happy Holidays" door-hanging poster I bought for $0.25 at a Wal-Mart Christmas clearance sale a couple years ago to use as a waterproof layer in some other project (something one would sit on or poop in, preferably, mwah ha ha haaaaa). The project didn't progress as planned and I scrapped it, leaving a pristine door hanging in my fabric stash. Alice discovered it one day and we hung it up on her door for a while. She would ask about the princesses in the picture and I could tell her each story however I liked. It gave me practice as an oral storyteller and fun memories with Alice, so I guess it's not all bad ;)

One day, it disappeared from her door and she never noticed. Why did I hang on to it further? I don't know. It was just $0.25, but it had potential. Today, we realized some of that potential. I cut the princesses from all the "Happy Holiday" froof and used my handy-dandy rolled hem foot to finish the raw edges. Double-sided tape holds it to the wall, so far. Ta daaa! Now Alice has something on that great expanse of an empty wall. I have the materials on-hand to make her a shaggy pink rug for the middle of that ocean of a floor, too.

Now I'm off to organize my fabric stash...any helpful hints? Please?

Biking in the Rain

Is it really January 11th? It feels like October.

The forecast called for light rain to end about 9:00 this morning. We all got up late, Alice would never get to preschool in time by bike, and Robert wasn't even close to presentable. I told Bobby to take Alice to preschool in the car and I would pick her up with the bike. The rain would stop by 9:00, right? Oodles of time to dry out before I got out there.

Unfortunately, the light rain continued through pickup time. Not bad, but not very pleasant. I threw on my slicker, my "construction orange" vest, and I braved the cold wet. Robert was snug and dry in the trailer (I love, love, love this trailer!). It kept the kids and all our stuff dry the whole trip, about 20 minutes.

I did notice, however, that both kids in there with their winter coats on makes for a tight squeeze. The trailer can take up to 100# of kids and cargo (Robert=30, Alice=42), but Alice at 4.5 years old is almost too tall to sit up straight in it. If it weren't raining, I would actively encourage her to ride her own bike :)

Mini Orchard and Garden Plans...Version 1.1

The utility companies just came and marked up my lawn. Electric and communication cables are buried right across my planned garden spot. A little sad, but not a deal-killer. Here's why:

Underground utilities in Illinois have to be buried below the frostline (about 3 ft deep) in protective tubing. Tree roots are largely in the top 1-3 feet of soil. Roots don't care about cables anyway since they don't provide any water or air. Dwarf fruit trees are unlikely to extend roots deep enough and thick enough to move/break a utility cable 4 feet down.

As for the garden beds, hand digging is required (i.e. no heavy machinery or motorized tills) up to 18 inches on either side of the marked line. This means I can't take a rototiller to the sod and plow through it in one day. Bummer. Dare I try the old double-digging trick with a shovel and wheelbarrow...for 250 sqft of new garden through old sod and clay soil? If so, I'm making it a party and inviting all my shovel-wielding friends.

I could find no evidence or warning or law or recommendation pertaining to planting trees above underground utilities. Most of the tree-utility conflict arises from 1) poorly planned trees damaging overhead power lines, 2) poorly planned trees penetrating sewer and septic drains, and 3) tree roots getting destroyed when underground utilities need to be dug up and repaired. In my case, #1 doesn't apply, #2 doesn't apply, and #3 is an opportunity to try a new variety of fruit tree (I can't imagine getting emotionally attached to a fruit tree, no matter how beautiful and productive it is.)

So, tentatively, I will move forward as planned but add in another party. I've got to figure out a few more details on the "squirrel protection" front, and there's no real groundbreaking until spring, but it's nice to have something to look forward to...and a little more time to find shovel-wielding friends.

Mini Orchard and Garden Plans...Version 1

Freed of the home decor issue, my thoughts have recently turned to outside. Alice and Robert have helped me meticulously measure portions of our backyard in preparation for this sweet piece of joy:

Initial Plans for my Future Mini Orchard and Garden. The house is on the left/west. Dwarf apple, cherry, peach, and pear trees are fenced with the chicken coop (excellent symbiotic relationship!). A short fence keeps the hens out of the raised perennial and veggie garden beds that have been arranged to minimize pathways. RB: rain barrels; C: compost bins

This, dear friends, is my backyard mini orchard and garden...so far. I still have to hear from the utility companies about where I can dig and plant trees *sigh*, so things may get rearranged, but the bare bones are in place. The cloud shapes are mature trees currently affecting light and soil issues. Refer to the caption for a key to other symbols. Together, the orchard and garden add up to just over the square footage of our last house: 1200 sqft.

This. is. why. I. bought. this. house.

(...along with the great location for easy commutes, and nearby families with kids our kids' ages, and an elementary school I'm not afraid of...) 

And lest you feel sorry for everyone else who lives in this house and wants a piece of the backyard action, I left some room for them.

2011 aerial view of our new home. Dark blue defines the property line. Light blue defines my current plans for the garden.

Heck, they've still got room to run and a whole patio to boot! Well, actually, I may steal the eastern portion of the patio for a bed of raspberries, or a mini vineyard, but that's all in the details, darling. Nothing to worry about now ;) 

This is huge for me. The dream coming true. I feel like I should arrange a groundbreaking ceremony or something. 

Hope the neighbors don't freak out.

P.S. Urban chickens ARE allowed in Urbana. I double-checked before deciding to look too closely at this neighborhood :)

Some More Christmas Pictures

The following are some Christmas pictures that were missed from previous posts.  Most of them are from my phone so the quality is not very good.  Sorry about that.

What we do on Christmas day when we don't have much else to do.

Kids Playing at the Toy Room.

Bobby's Sunday Summary

Life is starting to find a routine again.  It is not perfect, but we are starting to figure things out.  I rode my bike to work two days this past week.  The weather was great and right now it only takes me about 20min to do it.  Google Maps says it should take me 12 so I have some work to do to get into better shape, but that is partly why I am riding my bike to work.

We are still working through a long list of projects to do for the house, but slowly things are being checked off the list.  We also got a piano yesterday.  Well sort of.  We are provided a climate controlled storage area for the piano until its owners can find a home that they want to purchase.  Robert loves to play the piano, so expect to see many more videos of him soon, playing the piano.

Robert just woke up and I have a meeting in about 20 min so I think I will end here and no I am not riding my bike to Church, at least not yet.

Quiet Time Novel

Alice was extra quiet during quiet time today. I thought she had fallen asleep. I peeked in to see her lying on her stomach, mostly under the covers, busily drawing in a spiral notebook. She sat me down right away to show me her drawings:

Here is Alice with $100, Jonie with $4, and Aina with only $1. You can tell Alice is delighted and Jonie is quietly pleased, and teeny weeny Aina is almost in tears. The math problem at the top is 1+4=5 (She X'd out the 3 for some reason. I know she finds the 3 a particularly awkward number to write.)

Here is a queen (on the bottom) with three monies. The king at the top has only 1 money and his mouth is wide open. The cloud guards around them have no money and they are pretty grumpy. Check out those angry eyebrows!

Alice tells me that "Baby Tiger" wanted to draw, too, and shadowed her creations on this next page. The itty bitty house and the flag look like Baby Tiger traced them after she drew them. Baby Tiger did a great copy (on the bottom right) of Alice's portrait of a girl.

She had nothing to say about this picture beyond pointing out the striped circle on the upper right and telling me it's a brain surrounded by bones. This makes a little more sense in the next two pictures.

A portrait of a smiling girl in which you can see her circle brain and the bones (stripes) protecting her brain. You can see the leg bones, too (i.e. 2 stripes for the legs instead of the usual 1)

A boy with his bones...seems to be missing his smile, but he does have toes on one foot :)

A mom holding her child's hand. Alice especially pointed out the earrings and the keys in her left hand. 

She just laughed when I asked her about this one. "Sometimes I just draw things. This one's scary!"

Another parent-child portrait.

And here begins a little story she devised. Here's a mommy driving with a kid in the back seat. "She's a little tired (pointing to the mommy's droopy eye)." (I bust a gut laughing at this point and Alice took it as a compliment...whew.)

"First they went to the store." I'm assuming this is the door to the store?

"And then they went somewhere else." Another door?

"This says 'CTO doctor's office' and the little girl doesn't know they're going to the doctor." 

"The little girl opening her mouth wide. See her tongue? On the doctor's table." (I thought she was screaming at the realization of her fate...)

"This is the nurse. Those are socks (pointing to the the big, stripy rectangles)"

(I laughed so hard when I turned the page and saw this next picture that I didn't hear Alice's explanation. But to Alice, nurses only mean one thing: shots.) I did hear that "his eyes are closed."

Here's the girl after her shot in the right arm. See the shot hole by her hair? Her eyes are closed, too, and she's smiling that it's over.

The girl gets back in the car with her mommy. Safely buckled. Mommy has her feet on the pedals.

Another picture of the shot hole in the little girl's arm.

Home again, enjoying a lollipop from the doctor's office. 

She asked for another notebook at bedtime, since she had filled the first one with several more drawings by the end of the day. I'm curious to see what she comes up with next.

"They're ugly as all get out and I don't care."

Bobby is a good fit for me. The more we go along in this life together, the more I appreciate how well we work together. In my most recent revelation, it turns out that his lack of opinion can be therapeutic...

Chapter 1: I'm a pleaser. I have my own agenda, but I also like other people to like my agenda. Middle child syndrome? Anyway, I've been looking at this new house of ours and noticing how naked the walls are and how empty the rooms feel. I naturally turn to my home decor idols (i.e. anyone in my acquaintance who happens to have some sort of opinion on the matter) for ideas and input. Three words in, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I really don't feel strongly about colors. I like most styles and ideas as long as there's a convincing follow-through. I have no idea what I'm doing. Then the nightmares begin. I dream that I'm going to school one day and I suddenly remember a book report that's due--now--and then I remember I didn't even read the book. Panic! Another night, I'm dreaming about an enormous project with a looming deadline and its success is dependent on lots of other people and I can't remember their names or contact info. In my waking life, the bare walls constantly remind me of decisions I haven't made and *ugh* shopping that must be done and *sigh* all the different people I want to invite into our home and what they'll notice. It's hard to prioritize my to-do list in that environment. I've been craving a lot of chocolate.

Chapter 2: Bobby. I run my decorating ideas by him now and then and he's interested in a non-committal way. We start talking about our individual "home project" lists and all of my home decor burden gushes out. Home decor is not even on Bobby's radar. I confess my apprehension and ask him how he deals with it. I ask him specifically what he thinks about those curtains in our bedroom. He says, "They're ugly as all get out and I don't care. They work right and do their job. If they were broken, I'd want to change them right away. But now? Psshh."

Chapter 3: Complete enlightenment! He voiced my exact feelings and set me free! Bobby's lack of opinion means he's not someone I can please. That used to annoy me. It turns out, however, that a blank slate is the PERFECT place for a pleaser like me to stop and think about what I really want out of this. And what I want is NOT to decorate my perfectly functional and comfy home...for now. I've granted myself a decorating reprieve. I will focus on the matters that really engage me: managing clutter, repairing non-functioning doorknobs, and optimizing natural light. And of course, there's the yard and garden work. It's been a warm and beautiful January so far...I may equip the chicken coop with an asphalt roof and easy-to-clean linoleum flooring this week.

Alice-eye view---January 2nd, 2012, 5:12 PM

I hope you don't find this too tedious, but I just had to put this series up here. I find Alice's perspective fascinating. The way she captures five minutes of our lives on camera is surprisingly meaningful to me. Her pictures seem random, but each one either captures a story or reminds me of a conversation with her. It's a very real, very live snippet of my life with these crazy kids. Besides, she takes awesome pictures of food. Just check out those collard greens on the counter!

I never realized Alice was as tall as my rear end, but now it's impossible to ignore.