May the force be with you

Got a new app today on the recommendation of my brother in law.

 

Fence Rider

From James, while we're riding in the car:

"Me wide uh fence! Me put my legs over uh fence and wive, wive, wive. An' me wive on duh fence an' me take gum outta my pocket and give it to people an' they eat it. Yah."

Bathroom

Years ago, before I had kids of my own, I walked into a friend's bathroom and was horrified by the stinky, sloppy, scattered mess that her kids had left. Surely my future kids would never do that.

Fast forward to this morning when I walk into the kids' bathroom...toothpaste drizzled on the muddy counter by one child had become finger paints for another child. Smeary handprints on the mirror indicating at least one child had been standing on the counter at some point. Tiny shreds of toilet paper sprinkled about the toilet seat. A trashcan piled high with used toilet paper that one child is too scared to flush ("it's going to flood!"). A smell I will not describe to you.

A royal mess. One so big, so deep, and so gross as to outpace even that horrifying bathroom I had witnessed so many years ago. More bathroom mess than I ever want to clean up for them ever again.

Ugh. My kids did this.

I see a new weekly chore in their future...

Church

We're sitting in church this morning and James is wiggling all over the bench. I've had to tell him several times to quiet down or get up from the floor and we haven't even heard from the first speaker yet. He climbs up on my lap and gets his face right up in mine and asks plainly, "What you doing here?"

I didn't have a ready-made answer for him. My first thought was, "'Cuz of you, silly."

And I felt a mix of emotions. Then a flood of questions. I wasn't sure how to respond out loud so I turned the question back at him, "What are YOU doing here?"

He just smiled at me and turned around.

Look! Me uh chimmunk!