???

My almost-2-year-old hens are laying XL eggs these days, so imagine my surprise when I found this little beauty this morning!



It probably doesn't even have a yolk. 

Turkey Day and Reindeer

It's been a fun Thanksgiving Break. My sister Heather came up from Texas to spend a week with Erin and me. Here are a few pictures so far:

Alice and Robert waiting for the 1-mile Turkey Trot to start on Thanksgiving morning.

Our group at the Turkey Trot: L-R, The Green Family, me and Matthew, some of the Merrill family, Alice, Robert, Bobby and James, and Heather.

I think they are friends now. They play more often than they fight, at least, which is a huge turnaround from...from...pretty much their whole existence together to date. They wrestle, sit on each other, fart on each other, chase each other around the house, and call each other gross names. They were laughing their heads off the other day in a spontaneous farting competition.

Petting reindeer at Hardy's Reindeer Ranch

The following is a video Bobby took of me getting a "reindeer kiss." Now I have kissed both a donkey and a reindeer.

A whole line of people I love, admiring baby reindeer.

Leaping across straw bales.

Erin treated us to cocoa at Starbuck's where we discovered something called "Kid Temp" cocoa: tepid. They all loved it.

Heather and I traveled out to the Indianapolis temple. I have loved getting to know her all over again. I have so much respect for this strong, faithful, mature woman. What a pleasure to have her visit!

Last Day

Monday morning at the farm, I harvested salad mix and arugula for 3 hours. Then my alarm went off and it was time to pick up Matthew from preschool.

My day at the farm was done.

My season at the farm was done. 

I wasn't exactly sure what to say or do. My bosses were still working, the wash-pack folks were clanging around and chatting, and I wasn't sure how to say good bye. Or if. I just kinda stood there waiting for someone to make eye contact with me. My boss John was the lucky winner. He looked at me funny like, "What are you doing?" then he noticed the time and acknowledged that I was done for the day. I said thanks and see ya' later and turned to leave the pack shed. I'm glad we didn't say anything about this being my last day. It felt like leaving the farm any other day, really, until I shut the door behind me. Then I got that feeling like the ground had dropped out from beneath me. I caught my breath and held it while the sadness welled up and slowly evaporated away.

By the time I reached my car, I was okay again. There will be another season, sure, but I just needed a moment to mourn the ending of this one.

Morty

I came into the kitchen this morning and noticed the sink was full of dirty dishwater from last night. Ugh. Cold, slimy, filled with food debris. Why didn't I drain it?! Well, it had to be done, so I pulled up my sleeve and plunged in, feeling around for the washcloth and any small dishes that might get sucked into the garbage disposal. I felt something like a lucky rabbit's foot and lifted it out of the water. In my hand was a drowned mouse.

Oh my.

I screamed and dropped it back in. All the kids got excited. Now what?!

I used a strainer to scoop it back out. We admired its perfect little form, all stiff and wet. James remarked this was the first time in his life he'd ever seen a REAL mouse. No one was disgusted. No one was scared. No one felt pity for the poor creature. All four kids were 100% curiosity and excited questions. James asked about the mouse's tail sticking straight out. We talked about rigor mortis. Then we named the mouse Morty.

No pictures this time. Didn't want to make light of the mouse's suffering. I'm glad the kids didn't either.

Beast

Two farm stories from today...
 
ONE
This morning at the farm, John had me prepare some produce for donation to the Eastern Illinois Foodbank. It was a HUGE donation. You know those enormous cardboard bins at the grocery store that are usually filled with mountains of watermelons or pumpkins? Well, I filled one entirely with green kale, head lettuce, and bok choy. I also loaded pallets with racks of turnips, carrots, more kale, and more lettuce. It would take 100 people to eat that before it goes bad!

I felt a brief moment of panic, wondering what I would do if I were in charge of that excess produce. Are there even enough local food pantries and church-run grocery stores to distribute all of this in the next week?

Thankfully, our foodbank is part of a network of foodbanks. If they have too much lettuce and bok choy, they can ship it up to Chicago or down to St. Louis or out to Indianapolis for other food banks to distribute it before it goes bad.

TWO
I typically work outside in the field harvesting produce. There's another group of volunteers that works indoors to wash and pack the produce for sale/distribution. These volunteers are typically retired folks from the sponsoring church's congregation. A few of them have been doing this since the farm began. Now that the outdoor work has dwindled, I've been working in wash-pack more to get the last veggies of the season ready for sale. I emptied about 20 bins of produce for that foodbank donation. Then John asked me to clean and sanitize the newly emptied bins *sigh*

I like making messes more than I like cleaning them up :(

But I got to work anyway. It turned out to be more fun than I anticipated. I was banging and spraying and scrubbing these bins out when one of the wash-pack folks came in saying, "Susan, I could hear you scrubbing those bins as soon as I stepped out of my car!" She meant it in a fun, teasing way, but then I got all self-conscious about how much noise I was making. Come to think of it, I couldn't hear the other conversations in the room. But I really couldn't imagine a quieter way to scrub 10-gallon plastic bins in a stainless steel sink with a scrub brush the size of my head.

I kept working and the pile of clean bins grew as tall as I was. As I lifted another clean bin onto the stack, a different wash-pack veteran mused in awe, "You're a real *beast*, Susan." Though she didn't use the word "beast", if you know what I mean. The first one agreed, "Yeah, inside and outside both!" I was shocked and proud and happy and confused all at once. I think she gave me a compliment. They acted like it was. And later they asked for more information so we could get together every once in a while during the off season.

I was flattered. And confused. And we soon discovered that we are all left-handed. And then I had to leave to get Matthew. This story doesn't have a clean ending. I'm still trying to figure it out, myself. But it's a good thing to feel appreciated for doing something I enjoy :)

Check-ups

James and Matthew had their annual physical exams today. All is well. Having them at the same time, though, made for some fun comparisons.

Matthew: 47th %ile for height and weight
James: 97th %ile for height, weight, and BMI
Conclusion: Matthew and Alice have tracked at the 50th %ile much of their lives. Robert and James, though, are on a much larger track.

Matthew: shy, wouldn't make eye contact with the Dr.
James: would speak for Matthew and answer all the questions she asked about anything to anyone
Conclusion: Kindergarten has been really, really, really good for James' self-confidence, shyness, interactions with unfamiliar adults, and social skills in general. Holy moley.

Matthew: given medication advice for 2 different conditions
James: no issues
Conclusion: A life with allergies and sensitive skin is a little more complex than a life without.

Matthew: 3 shots
James: 1 shot
Conclusion: James has come a loooooong way with shots. He was so cute trying to give Matthew advice, "Ok, Matthew, what you need to do is close your eyes really tight and it won't hurt as much." Matthew was SO angry. So, so angry. Thankfully, those just finished his shots for Kindergarten so it won't be hanging over my head any longer.

Final Week

This morning, while the outside temperature was hovering near 20 degrees Fahrenheit, it was a balmy 70 degrees in this little piece of heaven on earth:

The barren beds on the left are bunny-ravaged spinach and kale (*sob*). On the right, we have salad mix, arugula, braising greens, and turnips.

It's one week until Thanksgiving. I am on the schedule two more mornings. After that, the work is volunteer only and exclusively as needed until mid-March. Most everything will stop growing, even in the high tunnel here, because of low temps and a day length too short to keep the plants interested.

The earth itself will take a pause.

I was worried earlier about losing my time at the farm. It brings me balance. But that was when there was so much farming to do so urgently and lots of daylight in which to do everything else I wanted to do. Now, though, with much less farming needing to be done, and dwindling daylight hours, I'm feeling that a pause could be a good thing.

What will I do with those 9 hours a week? Hm. I've given it a lot of thought. The wisest course would be to put some sleep back into my schedule. Then I will add regular gym time back as I look around the corner at the triathlon. And some time will probably be spent running the errands that Matthew no longer enjoys: grocery shopping, going to the library, visiting the farm store that doesn't have free popcorn.

And then, come March, I can start again :)

Virginia

Our trip to Virginia to see family was so, so unexpectedly comfortable and relaxing. I don't know if our hosts felt the same way...sick kid, hours at the hospital a couple days in a row, and houseguests taking up the whole basement...but I certainly thought it was a wonderful and worthwhile visit. I'd love to spend more time with them again.

Even the 11-hour car rides to and from Virginia weren't TOO terrible. Maybe our family is growing up a little?

I am eager to respect this family's wishes that we don't post pictures or information about them on a public blog. So, this post will be a little scarce on details, but at least Bobby took pictures :)

I'm glad I brought the head lamp so James could work on his projects in the dark car. That Scratch Art book by Melissa and Doug kept James in the "flow" zone for hours. HOURS! Totally worth the $5.

Portable CD players and books on CD from the library kept Alice and Robert entertained for HOURS. They also had no problem pausing the story or turning it off when necessary, unlike screen time. Oh, screen time, how I love and hate thee. So glad we didn't bring any movies or shows this time. This really worked for us. Also, we let Alice run the snacks. Amazingly, and completely without precedent, there was no whining. She distributed them freely and all were grateful. No stress for me. LOVE IT! Alice, I never want to let you go.

Matthew turned 4 while we were there. I figured it wasn't a big deal to kinda gloss over it and celebrate when we got home, but it turned out to be pretty important to Matthew. Our host family had bought him a cake and sang to him, which made his day. Loved it.

We drove into Washington D.C. and walked the mall. Here we are in front of the statue of Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial. It's actually a lot bigger than it looks here. We're standing pretty far away.

James, if you don't let us take your picture, then you won't have any pictures of you at this age *stern eyebrow*. (Here's James at the World War II Memorial. You can also see the Lincoln Memorial way, way back there).

A little hike at Harper's Ferry (Okay, James, if that's how you'd like to be remembered, you got it).

I guess I can't say we didn't bring ANY screens. This is a handheld video gaming device that has games from when Bobby and I were kids: Super Mario Brothers, Tetris, Pole Position, and a hundred others. It was nice that Robert enjoyed it so much, because that freed up a CD player and headphones for James once his own projects were depleted.

What did Matthew do in the car for 20+ hours? Well, mostly he listened to a few different CDs over and over and over and over. He is too young for a portable CD player, so it was playing through the car speakers. I never need to hear "Stinky Cake" ever, ever again. It is burned into my psyche.

Therapy

As part of my 40th year goals, I had decided to fix something that had been bothering me for a long time. I pondered my options a bit...so many things have bothered me for so long...and decided to tackle one particular sticky relationship issue that I had been struggling with for 10 years. I knew the problem rested completely with me, not the other person, but I hadn't been able to resolve it on my own or by bouncing it off of my usual friends and family members who help me through stuff like this. I decided that it was time to talk to a therapist. That was hard.

I gathered the courage to ask a friend of mine (who is a social worker) to recommend a therapist who would work well with my personality and specific problem. That was hard.

I contacted the therapist to make an appointment. That was the hardest. It took me a month to get around to it after I initially got her phone number.

Then we met. I laid it all out there. She asked questions. I probed myself and found answers. More questions. More probing. Chatting it out with her over the course of a month, I came away with a bigger picture. I saw some of my own fallacies and strengths. I was ready to change. That, surprisingly, was not as hard as I thought it would be.

So, even with the work still going on inside my brain and heart, I've found some healing. The issue no longer bothers me. Yay! Now to put together a list of new places I'd like to visit and skills I could possibly master in the next 9 months...hmmmmm.

Been Too Long

Why haven't I posted to the blog before today?! So much happening. So many events to process. It's all whooshing by before I can stop to appreciate it.

*sigh*

Where do I even START to catch up?!

Can't catch up. Just pick one thing to process/appreciate. Maybe something with photos. But not too many photos. Hmmmmm.

I love this view from my back door this week. The big oak tree in the back corner of our property is a blazing red. That hasn't happened since the year James was born. I've been looking for it every fall ever since. You can see the garden beds are cleared of everything but strawberry plants, thanks to a friend offering to help. I have great friends who want to help, even if they are terrified of insects/arachnids and disgusted by worms.

The chickens are especially happy these days now that I've learned the trick to consistent animal care. I thought every other day care was good enough, but the chickens are proving otherwise. They really like daily care. That's okay. I like to be appreciated ;) and rewarded with food. It's mutually beneficial.

My work at the farm is changing again. Most of the summer farm hands have moved on. Literally left the state. Only 2 out of 8 will return next season. Turnover that large can get exhausting for management. My boss mentioned that they would like to hire more full-time help next season, especially now that the farm is just about 5 acres. It gets WAY more efficient if the workers are already trained and proactive in preventing problems. I briefly started doing the math, but already knew that full-time work isn't in the cards for me now. Even at the farm. I don't know if I'll ever want to do it full time, either. One of the MAJOR benefits to volunteering at the farm is all the dirty work with complete freedom from responsibility. Why would I mess with that?!

Speaking of which, I recently read a book entitled The $64 Tomato: How One Man Nearly Lost His Sanity, Spent a Fortune, and Endured an Existential Crisis in the Quest for the Perfect Garden. What a revelation! It was funny watching his garden experience unravel very similarly to my own gardening experience. He was no beginner. He researched and loved and worked diligently. Each gardening snag (poor soil, weeding, watering, insect pests, vertebrate pests, lawn care, orcharding woes) and subsequent battle to overcome it was similar to something I had already encountered in my own quest for the perfect garden. It was beautiful and painful and hilarious and sobering all at once. I took stock of what I loved about gardening and balanced it against the emotional, financial, and psychological cost of this particular hobby. I compared and contrasted my home gardening experience with my farm experience. I love them both for very different reasons. I don't have time or energy for both right now, though. Does that mean I quit the backyard garden? Not quite. My homework for the off season is finding a way to maximize the bits I love about each experience.

This was our cul-de-sac yesterday afternoon. Love it.

This was Matthew's expression after seeing how far his clearance-rack-$3-tennis-ball-launcher-for dog-owners could shoot. My kids spend their birthday money in the strangest ways.

Our trip to Virginia was awesome in so many ways, but I'll save that for another blog post. Can't help but share with you, though, the only family picture we took the whole trip where our James wasn't pulling a (super) crazy face. We are visiting a branch of the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum over by Dulles Airport. It's a big hangar of planes, rockets, satellites, and space craft. Very few words/signs/interpretation/historical context. Mostly "ooo" and "ahhh" and "wow!". Like a zoo for air and space craft. We loved it.