Bobby is 44!

Bobby had a birthday last week. The actual day was kinda busy, so he decided to celebrate on Saturday instead. Erin joined us for a Black Dog BBQ dinner, a Lemon Mousse cake from Rick's Bakery, and a strawberry pie of Bobby's own making. We also indulged in Sprecher's Cherry Cola which is caffeine free and totally delicious. And a soda tasting. We like to celebrate with treats...can you tell? Happy Birthday Bobby! I've gotta say, I've never appreciated Bobby as much as I do now. He's a diligent and dependable partner in spiritual things, parenting things, and providing-for-our-family things. He always, always, always has been. He also has a charming smile and a laugh that I can never get enough of. He's so stinking smart in ways that I lack...I'm always learning something from him. He has a knack for helping our kids achieve independence and personal mastery, too. I'm a wee bit jealous of his ability to do that *sigh* 

Me and the kids would not be who we are today without Bobby. And I love exactly who we are today, warts and everything, because I get to work with Bobby through it all.

Bobby and Robert chatting geometry and trigonometry to improve the physics realism of Robert's most recent programming adventure: a swinging rope simulator. No, that's not true. Robert's MOST recent programming adventure was a designing a shortcut to automate the more tedious bits of his algebra homework. He was quite pleased with that one.

Friday evening, our ward had a Variety/Talent Show. There were all sorts of performances and displays. I brought a couple chickens. Bobby told a bunch of Dad Jokes. I was impressed with his showmanship. He didn't look the slightest bit nervous, almost comfortable, up there doing something under the lights and in front of the microphone. His demeanor was cool, even if his jokes were all groaners :) My friend recorded some of Bobby's routine with her cell phone (thanks, Aubrey!):

One of the youth had a face painting station that was popular.

Saturday was a big day outdoors. We absolutely HAD to get the chickens outside in the pen. They were clearly stressed and cramped in the ferret cage. They even started attacking the chicken of the lowest social rank. Chickens are kinda like people that way. 

I had purchased a new coop (the last one lasted 10+ years and was purchased used) but it was a bit complicated to assemble. And the old coop was still in the pen because I had BUILT the pen around it...the coop would have to be broken down to get it out of the pen door. James was the fire at my feet. He wanted to assemble the new coop with me and asked me about it every spare second until I finally had a window of time available. 

James is good with a screwdriver and great with following instructions. Super, super helpful kid. We made great progress! Matthew was out there for the company. Once the new coop was nearly done, I let James and Matthew loose on the old coop. They took it apart with great relish. Their tools of choice? A super dull hatchet and a 4-lb maul. They kept trading them back and forth, cheering and whooping every time the hatchet got stuck or the maul broke through the soggy, rotting wood. They were 1-2 hits away from the finish when Robert suddenly noticed how much fun they were having. He begged them to hold off until he could get shoes on and come out. They were patient. I nudged it over with my toe to get it off the fence and it just collapsed. Robert was sad to have missed the final blow, but that didn't stop him from hacking and pounding those pieces to oblivion. 

So excited with the work they did! The green thing behind them is the new coop in the pen.

Once the old coop was thoroughly dispatched and removed, we freshened up the pen for our newest little flock. They were terrified. They still are after 2 days. At first, they stayed outside of the new coop because they didn't know what it was or why they should care about it. Two nights of putting them up in the coop to sleep (thanks, Robert!) and they finally got it. Now, they stay in the coop all day because it's warmer than the outside. I've lured them out with bread and worms, but they find their way back inside once I'm gone.

The next order of business outside was pulling out the old cherry tree. James and Robert were thrilled to have the chance. They worked on it for 2 days together and finally got it out.

Victory photo! I was just happy to see them working together so well on something for so long :)

Sunday was one of Matthew's first times fasting. We let our kids decide when they're ready and what they would like to fast. Matthew decided to fast through lunch. He wanted some spiritual help remembering what the missionaries challenged us to do last week and then doing it. Fasting wasn't easy for him. Have you seen how little fat this guy carries around? He stuck to it, though, and said he got an answer to his prayer during primary. Yay! The last hour of his fast was dragging like nothing else. I suggested we do sidewalk chalk stories. He started with an idea and I built on it. Then I started with an idea and he built on it. Cooperative and creative--that's Matthew's cup of tea. We ended up writing a series of little stories about a blueberry with the Force and his archenemy the Ferret Club. And before we knew it, it was dinner time. I don't know when Matthew will choose to fast next, but he's pretty tough. And he told me he understood Robert's fasting grouchiness a whole lot better now. 

Erin and Alex dyed his hair on Saturday. It's reddish burgundy on the top half where his hair is longer and bluish on the bottom half where his hair is shorter. His hands are still blue from the process (he calls them "frost giant" hands), but he looooves the new 'do. Alex had a busy weekend, too, when his rats escaped...again...from the third cage he had purchased for them. He said he woke up in the middle of the night with a rat on his face. Hm. Well, with the help from some half-inch hardware cloth and an engineering-minded mother and her excellent sidekick James, Alex may finally have the rats secure again. They can't reach any plastic to chew through. Yet. Their average escape interval is about 2 weeks. 

Our bathroom remodel keeps chugging on. T and R have been working at our house so long (about 2 months) that the neighbor's dog, Sebastian, doesn't bark at them anymore. Sebastian barks at anything even slightly different...when we parked our car on the street one day instead of the garage, he barked at it all day. Seriously. So, Sebastian has pretty much adopted them into the neighborhood family. That's saying something.

It's been a good week. I like seeing more sunshine and feeling warmer temps. I like seeing the maple trees and blueberry bushes coming out of hibernation. Daffodils, crocuses, and hyacinths are popping up all over town. Wahoo!

Ramblings

We're about due for a new family picture. Gotta put that on my to-do list.

As Bobby wrote, we spent spring break in a very cold North Carolina. The last couple days were sunny, highs in the 60s, so I got one good afternoon soaking up the rays on the back patio :)

The South Carolina ride was hilly. Up, down, up, down, and no flat. They were big hills that took 5-10 minutes to ride up and 10 seconds to ride down. I hit a personal speed record of 30mph. Terrifying. Neither Rachel nor I had spent much time on a bike before this trip. We prepared our bodies in other ways, of course, but our sit bones were woefully unprepared for 10 hours of riding. We felt it. For days. 

Gardening/Farming work has picked up suddenly. I spent the only two non-rainy days this week tilling the community garden, shaping beds, and spreading compost. I also tilled a little in my own backyard...a small expansion project. I rented the tiller from Home Depot. It's the biggest, beefiest, most hard-working tiller they offer. I love that crazy beast. First of all, I love the look on the guys' faces when I say that that's the tiller I reserved. Then, I love the look on their faces when I pull up in my minivan to take it home. It does fit, by the way, with room to spare. And I love how readily and steadily it tackles any ground I've thrown at it. It turns a dead and weedy strip of land into light, beautiful, brown soil just begging to be planted. Makes me so happy.

I took the kids to their annual checkups. Fine and dandy. I like that all the records are digital now and I can read the notes their doctor puts into their files. We got a pediatric neurology consult to discuss Robert's tics. He's had them since the age of 4 but they're just starting to bother him. Robert is only a quarter inch shorter than me. He and Bobby have gone to the gym a couple times. He tells me it's weird working out with a bunch of people also working out, but he likes seeing how strong he is compared to Bobby. 

I had a dream about Robert. I dreamed that I stole a city bus just for fun and asked Robert if he wanted to drive it. We had a lot of fun driving around, but I was nervous the police would catch us and spoil everything. Well, they did. I was bummed that the fun had to end. When I told my family this dream over breakfast, I just thought it was a silly story. When the kids had questions, I started looking at it in an interpretive way. Drivers in your dreams tend to be people you feel are in control of your life. And the way you FEEL about the things happening in your dreams is just as important as the events. So, I did something silly on a whim and invited Robert to have fun with me. I let him drive my life a little while, but I was nervous about getting caught. Not because what I was doing was wrong, but because the fun would end. Robert said the cop was Bobby. We all laughed out loud at that. It's true. Bobby is responsible and polite and quiet and clever and serious and so stinking smart. Me and the kids, well, we tend to be silly, a little crass, loud, more silly, and always looking for fun. When the two intersect, there can be tension. We try to respect each other, of course, but, as the dream indicates, sometimes I have to stop the fun a little earlier than I want to.

And I'm thinking that sometimes Bobby has to tolerate our loud silliness a little longer than he wants to.

Family.

I've also had several dreams over the last few months about me being in middle school or high school again and not knowing any of the rules. I get things wrong, I get lost, I can't finish one task because these two other tasks get in the way or the classroom was moved or there's a stack of chairs blocking the hallway. And the dreams get more intense after especially difficult growing moments with my older kids. They expect me to do things or remember specific conversations and they get all mad at me, hurt, and frustrated that I don't do or remember those things. Like in my dreams, I am trying very hard to do things well, but the rules and terrain keep changing. That's them. I don't like the negative feelings, but I'm glad they feel safe enough to express them, and I'm learning to stand my ground when they're being ridiculously unfair. Alex has been responsible for getting himself up for YEARS and every once in a while I wake him, yes, when he's running a little late, but suddenly it's my fault when he sleeps through his alarm?? Robert gets angry at me when I don't make the little boys sit quietly and listen to his lectures about what they're always doing wrong?? I provide all the clothes and gear they need to get to school warm and dry, but I'm the unreasonable one when I won't give them a ride. Grumble grumble grumble. 

Alex has asked about funding for college. Bobby and I saved college money for each of our kids through a 529 plan. Unfortunately, that 529 money is only good in the United States. Alex wants to go to school in Canada. He says he doesn't feel safe in a country with people who are trying to reverse or criminalize gender-affirming medical care. He says he doesn't want to be afraid of police or regular people because his gender and sex don't match up. Canada feels like a safer place. I encouraged him to apply to schools in the US and Canada both. It doesn't hurt to have more options (and possible scholarship offers?) when he makes his final decision. He assures me that if he gets into the ONE college he wants to attend in Canada, he'll go there no matter what. No contest. I'm interested to see how this all comes together in the end. 

Our Trip to North Carolina

Over spring break we went to North Carolina. It was a small tourist town in the blue ridge mountains. A lot of the location was picked so that Susan could check off two more states on her 50 before 50 goal.

The weather was not that great so unfortunately a lot of the time was spent watching TV and playing video games 600 miles away from home instead of at home. But it still turned out to be fun. We got to go visit come family history sites on Susan's side of the family. The Walker this street names is an ancestor.

James, Matthew and I went on a hike. But only ended up doing a small amount of it (about 1.5 miles). It was still a lot of fun and was nice to get outside. 

 

 We got to play some mini-golf, but it was a bit colt that day. The little black dots in the water are hundreds of tadpoles. 

For Alex's Birthday we had crapes for breakfast, open presents (way too early for Alex) and went to a larger town to go shopping and get Chinese takeout.

 

 

One of the highlights was a candy/soda shop with lots of interesting flavors of soda.

 

 

The last day there we tried to hick chimney rock. But half of the hike we wanted to do ended up being closed. Oh well.

My Babies

My "baby" chicks at 6 weeks old. I'm petting one while she perches on the open door of the cage. Still a very friendly and curious flock. Still completely nameless. So far so good.

My baby brassicas. Also doing really well. The spinach is another story *sob*

Alex was teasing me about my plant babies and he used the word "brassicas." I was kinda impressed that he knew those plants were brassicas. I challenged him to identify the families of the rest of the seedlings and HE GOT IT RIGHT!! Every one: onion family, spinach family, and brassica family. My heart swelled with joy and surprise. He thought he was pretty awesome, too. I guess some of it is wearing off on him. He may never use it or care, but at least he knew it was important to me :)

The bathroom remodel is going well. Unfortunately, the plumbers brought in the wrong cast iron tub yesterday. It took three of them to wrangle it into the house and squeeze it around the corner into the bathroom. It was 2 inches longer than we had ordered, so it fit in the hole but left no space for tiling. Today, it took three men to wrangle it back out to the trailer. They hope to be back tomorrow with the correct size. In the meantime, all remodeling work has stopped. Everything depends on this tub.

And we need the tub. Matthew has resisted showers quite adamantly up to this point. Last Saturday, he opted for a sponge bath over a shower. I don't think I'll give him that choice again. So. Much. Screaming. He wouldn't even stand in the shower stall to get his hair washed. I literally sponged the shampoo out of his hair. Took forever. He was frozen solid by the end. Thankfully, we'll be out of town for this weekend's bathtime and the bathroom *may* be ready to use the week after that.