Hello! Another school year has begun, and not without its quirks. All four kids are attending new schools:
Alex: both a senior in high school and a brand new community college freshman. We've experienced a number of "firsts" together as we navigate this whole college thing. Crazy. He's taking 3 courses at the high school and 2 courses through Parkland Community College. He is deliriously happy.
Robert: a freshman in high school. He won't tell me anything directly, but I've managed to surmise that he has friends in every class and one of his friends convinced him to join some sort of science club or something. Robert has also started early morning seminary this week.
James: a brand-new sixth grader at Next Generation School. He's figuring out a new class schedule and getting used to several new teachers. This middle school is new to our family (e.g. Alex attended Urbana Middle School and Campus Middle School for Girls, and Robert attended Urbana Middle School), but all the staff are extremely friendly and helpful so far. James is loathe to take on any after school clubs or activities, and he's intensely preoccupied with how/whether he'll fit in academically and socially, but he seems to like all the new independence and privileges that come with middle school life.
Matthew: a 4th grader at Next Generation School. He's quick to point out that this school is nothing like his experience at Yankee Ridge Elementary. The first thing he said after spending a day with his whole class is, "I heard only ONE cuss word the entire day!" Matthew is also nervous about making friends. He said he doesn't know anyone's names yet, but kids are asking him to play during recess.
Our trip to Houston at the end of the summer was very nice. Hot and humid, but the company was delightful. Several of us worked with Alex to make him a quilt. James probably put in the most hours. We shopped at HMart, visited the Space Center, and swam in the pool at our rental. I got to go to the temple on my birthday. I was glad to have Mom with me. After we did an endowment session, James and Dad met us in the baptistry. We were baptized and confirmed for some of our ancestors. That was a good use of my birthday day.
The day we were leaving back to Illinois, I noticed some red bumps on my neck. It looked like a rash, but it didn't itch, so I figured it would go away.
No such luck.
A week later, those little bumps had grown into an itchy, swollen rash on my scalp, neck, shoulders, and chest. The symptoms were consistent with an allergic reaction, but I couldn't think of anything I had come in contact with or eaten in the last week that was out of the ordinary. I had started a new prescription a few weeks before, but wouldn't an allergy have shown up before then??
I went to convenient care where they prescribed a round of steroids to tamp down my immune response and hopefully get me back to normal. The doctor didn't think the new prescription was related. She asked about anything else that might have changed. Nothing. Nothing except that medication. Since it was not a necessary medication (anti-fungal to treat toenail fungus), I stopped taking it anyway. The steroids then seemed to help a little, along with ibuprofen, but the rash came back hard once the steroids were done.
Back at convenient care, more swollen, blistered, peeling, and itchy than ever, now with an angry rash completely covering my chest and back and starting to creep down to my hands and knees, I begged for relief. I almost got teary and said, "Please help me." The doctors were shocked at the extent of it, but with no other symptoms, they were confident I just needed a larger dose of steroids. They injected me with a high dose of steroids and prescribed another stronger, longer round of oral steroids.
And today, two days later, I'm still miserable. The steroids, benadryl, and ibuprofen don't seem to keep the rash from spreading, but they do prevent blistering (for which I'm very grateful). Patches of the rash that blistered and peeled earlier are less itchy now. So, it feels like it's running its course. I'm drowsy much of the day due to the antihistamines.
I looked up the prescription antifungal I was using and learned it can remain active in the body up to a month after the last dose. The liver just doesn't metabolize it very quickly. Strangely, that news actually brought me some hope. If the medication is the cause, then this will end. Even if it takes 30 days, this will get better. It's scarier to me imagining that stress or hormones or an autoimmune disorder is the culprit....there's no clear endpoint in sight for those.
I'm grateful that it hasn't been so bad as to keep me from my motherly duties. The first week of school is an important one. I've been especially concerned about James and Matthew this year. Lately, they've had bouts of sadness and depression. Maybe 4-5 times a week each? They are almost always triggered by something unexpected or unfortunate happening to them, then they wilt under the weight of it all.
When Matthew notices he's inexplicably sad, he starts to get anxious about being sad. He really, really, really, doesn't like feeling sad. His anxiety about the sadness grows until he's overwhelmed by it and can't think straight. He's not sad anymore at that point, but he's sobbing, rocking himself back and forth in the fetal position, and unable to make decisions. This used to freak me out. A lot. I used to try all sorts of things to pull him out of it. All the extra attention was NOT helpful, by the way. What does seem to help is a calm, listening ear that offers empathy and recognizes his frustration. It's crazy hard not to ask questions or offer solutions. Matthew eventually calms down and finds a solution on his own. He almost always apologizes for losing control and then thanks me for my help.
When James gets a bout of this sadness, he withdraws. He stops talking, seeks solitude, and looks off into the distance. He wants help changing his mood, but doesn't quite know how to ask for it. If we get a chance to talk privately about it, he can sometimes recognize what's bothering him. Many times, though, he doesn't know exactly why he's suddenly sad.
James experiences anxiety, too, he starts to shake, rock back and forth, wring his hands, grit his teeth, and writhe on the couch. He can't speak words, but sometimes he cries and whimpers as if he's physically hurt. At first, I thought this was a tantrum response. I ignored it or sent it to another room. That changed nothing. The only thing that seems to help is a calm, listening ear that offers empathy and recognizes his frustration.
So, I'm trying really hard to be that listening ear for James and Matthew. These episodes never come at convenient times and they take a lot of patience. Both boys are old enough now to detect my frustration, even if my words are kind and patient.
Let me see what else I can share about the first week of school that may be of interest...
-- Matthew signed up for an after-school enrichment class about science
-- Alex started his Child Psychology course at the college and is thrilled with his textbook. It gives details and cites studies, forcing him to think critically about things, not just memorize them.
-- James went with all the middle schoolers to a nearby 4H camp for some team building activities. They were tasked with building a 1-person raft that would cross the beach twice without sinking. He had a lot of fun with that one.
-- Robert continues to tell me nothing. He doesn't like answering my curious questions. I have noticed, however, that his strength training is paying off and that puts him in a good mood. He still mentions every once in a while how lovely it was to have us away in Texas. He and Bobby had full reign of the house and schedule. Everything was so quiet and peaceful.
Okay, that blog post is long enough. Good night!
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