Lent Workout

I went to my usual (and quickly becoming my favorite) class at the YMCA this morning. The workout is great, but I really keep coming back for the people and the relationships there.

At the beginning of class, people were milling around and chatting. The instructor asked what we were all giving up for Lent, which starts today on Ash Wednesday. She suggested (begged?) we give up refined sugars. That's kind of her soapbox of choice, so the class just groaned noncommittally. I had half decided that I wouldn't observe Lent this year, since I was working on several of my vices already and my life has felt pretty darn full. The instructor let the topic fall as we began our workout.

At the end of class, though, as we got in a circle to stretch and chat some more, she brought it up again, "Hey guys, even if you don't want to do the sugar thing, what are you planning to give up for Lent? For reals." The class members' responses surprised me. We ended up discussing the purpose of Lent. Some people saw it as a chance to focus/work on a personal vice for 6-7 weeks (giving up caffeine, not yelling at a spouse). Like a self-improvement course. Some saw it as giving up something you love in your life to remind you to turn to God (not listening to the radio as they drive and pondering/praying instead, stop playing a beloved instrument and use that time/energy to show gratitude for that skill) for 6-7 weeks. My rudimentary understanding of Lent was more permanent than that: choose a weakness or sin to focus on, with the intent to pray and use the Atonement to change that part of me forever. One woman in the class is some sort of pastor or clergy member in her congregation. She recognized all three of those purposes, but felt the true purpose was to draw you closer to God.

Anyway, I was spiritually fed at the gym today. Funny, huh? And I feel inspired to choose something to sacrifice between now and Easter in order to strengthen my relationship with God.

*sigh* Tween-ness

The last few weeks (months?) Robert has been getting more dramatic. Moody. More yelling and storming off in frustration. 95% of my recent conversations with him have ended in 1) him screaming mad at me, 2) him sobbing mad at me, or 3) him smothering me with hugs and loving words because I'm his favorite person ever.

When Alice was 8-9 years old, something happened. She got a little more dramatic. Moody. More storming off in frustration. I think I blogged about it. I sure WANTED to, anyway. I had hoped that it wasn't a sign of things to come in her teenage years. As it turns out, she's mellowed a bit over the last few years. Now she's more likely to hang out quietly in her room reading or texting her friends than anything else.

I take comfort that maybe Robert's elevated emotional state is age-appropriate...and maybe temporary? More experienced parents tell me that the tween stage is hard, but it does eventually change. Into what? It's not the same for everyone.

We shall see, I suppose.

Weights and Photos!

The 5-pound weights in my gym class just didn't seem as heavy as they've been the last few weeks. I upgraded to a heavier weight! It was harder, but not even close to painful. I think I'm actually getting stronger.

When I changed into my swimsuit afterwards, I noticed something terribly wrong with my arm. It wasn't its normal straight shape. I was scared for a split second until I realized, "Those are probably my biceps." Haven't seen those babies in a while, er, uh, ever. You can tell I don't look at myself very often. I laughed and laughed.

Unfortunately, after announcing to the world last night that I had finally found a more efficient swim technique, I got in the pool today and pretty much forgot how to swim. It was a terrible workout: sucking for air, couldn't stay horizontal, splashing around a ton. Cuh-razy. I'm blaming the lumps on my arms. And all the swimming technique books I'm reading. Ugh. Why does getting better often require getting worse first?

Pictures! I sorted out the photo issues:

Robert sewing a pocket to the inside of his sleepover bag. My machine is as old as I am, and the machines Alice uses at school are only a couple years old. My machine is much higher quality and sews 10x better than the school ones, but it lacks a few of the fancy features that Alice has grown accustomed to. She only rolled her eyes once, though, and made do with my workhorse dinosaur machine.

It's snowy and cold, but the sun came out! The real sun! Not warm, but bright, and I'm grateful for that.

James and Matthew worked for hours on this fort/house/ship/hideout in the corner of the front room. Days off from school can sometimes be cooperative and creative.

Matthew decided to turn some shopping bags into scary monster masks. He eventually cut out eye holes and took it for a spin around the house. Most people humored him and ran away terrified.

Randomness

It's been a busy couple of weeks. I've wanted to blog about things, but nothing seemed big enough to warrant its own entry, and so I forgot about them before sitting down to write them out. *sigh* I can be so frustrating to work with sometimes!

This will seem pretty random.

Matthew and I drove by the elementary school the other day and I said something like, "Three people in our family will be going to that school next year!" Matthew replied, "No, four." "Four?!" "Yeah. Robert, James, me, and K." K is Matthew's best friend and favorite playmate these days. They plan to get married when they're old enough. Was that what he was thinking when I mentioned "family"? Or did he miss the whole "family" thing and just focus on how many people he knew that would be going to that school next year? Dunno. But, I will tell you that I have borrowed Miss K several times over the last few weeks to come play at our house for hours and hours. Matthew is the age and personality where he needs someone to really, really play with him. Constantly. Miss K eases some of the pressure off of me that way. I really appreciate that.

James' prayers have been pretty interesting lately. Most often, they are a "please bless that..." list of very specific things he wants in the moment (e.g. ...dinner will be good and Mom will let us have as much as we want of it and extra treats afterwards...), but he's also expressed thanks for our trials and God's help through our trials and how life is full of dark, difficult things. The words he uses and the fervor with which he gives these unassisted prayers shows me he is being earnest...both for the seemingly frivolous things and for the dark, difficult things.

Bobby has had a lot more stress at work lately due to a series of deadlines leading up to a conference in March. I feel helpless about that, except to take on more responsibility at home so he's less burdened overall.

I made a significant discovery about myself recently in a weakening relationship. After much deliberation, prayer, and discussion with close friends and family, I decided it was best for me to end the relationship. I only mention it here as a marker, so I don't forget. I forget so. many. things. And I find it significant that this ending had SO many parallels to another relationship of mine that ended many years ago, except I was on the other end of things. Now I've seen it from both sides and I wouldn't recommend either.

This is my third year training for a triathlon and I think I FINALLY learned how to swim just a couple weeks ago. Swimming got noticeably more efficient, anyway. I've also noticed that I run much faster outdoors than I do on the indoor track. Don't know why, yet.

I've got to say, working in a middle school classroom has helped me appreciate Alice so much more. When someone gives her instructions, she tends to listen the first time, ask questions if needed, then work diligently until the task is done. I took all of that for granted! Not every 12, 13, or 14-year-old is like that, you see. I know better now.

I "needed" to go to the fabric store for some ribbon to finish Alice's costume for school. It just so "happened" that all of their fleece and flannel were 60-70% off. While on my way to the selection of ribbon, I may have had Matthew help me select a few bolts of flannel for the kids to make their own pillowcases with, or maybe I'd make the pillowcases secretly and put them in Easter baskets, or maybe...or maybe...

The kids DID make their own pillowcases, but we ran a ribbon through the top and turned them into "sleepover bags". Alice only needed a set of instructions and a little nudge here and there before she completed it flawlessly (she puts me to shame, ladies and gentlemen). Robert was thrilled and scared and then thrilled again as he got to use real sewing tools like a rotary cutter and a sewing machine at full speed. He was meticulous, careful, and creative. He decided to add a couple inside pockets, which turned out really nicely! James, well, I didn't trust him with much yet. He got to push the pedal and pull out the pins as I guided the fabric into the machine. Matthew just leapt and danced and played around me as I worked on his by myself. And he rearranged the pins on my pincushion to make a funny face.

Valentine's Day was a little lackluster this year. We completely forgot about Matthew's preschool class party. He took no valentines. Robert's class lost the privilege of a Valentine's Day party when they seriously misbehaved for a sub. Robert, I learned later, was one of only 2 students who actually turned anything in for writing time during the substitute's day. His teacher returned his work with a note thanking him for being such a trustworthy and diligent worker. James did remember his party. He selected a set of valentines from my stash (last year's clearance!), wrote his name on every one, and put them in a bag to take to school. Delighted. He, like Matthew, was asked NOT to write each classmate's name on a valentine. He, like Matthew, was also told to bring one for everyone or not bring any at all. They just lined everyone up and let them drop a valentine into each bag. I can see how that would keep kids from feeling left out. But. It kinda sucks all the "Valentine" out of Valentine's Day. The boys didn't have school on Valentine's Day itself. Alice's whole school was going to have a fancy tea party at their drama teacher's house that morning, but school was cancelled due to extreme low temps. Alice was devastated! she got to spend the day with a good friend, though, which was a good substitute. That evening, Erin had all the kids over for a sleepover. Bobby and I ate leftovers and watched a movie. I didn't want to go out on Valentine's Day for ANYTHING. We took our Valentines date the Friday before ;) Thank you, Aubrey, for introducing us to Sunsinger!

James' music teacher was trying to teach the kids a song that he recognized from his piano lesson book. He asked her if he could bring it in and play for the class. She said yes! He performed his lesson pieces for them the very next day. I asked him why he did that. He said he liked the applause and showing people that he was good at something. Can't blame him there, but man, I wouldn't ever want to ASK for that opportunity *shudder*

Alice started learning to play poker from her cousin K. That piqued Robert's interest and he got us to learn how to play 5-card Draw. We've been playing it every day since :)

I decided that working at the farm 3 mornings a week all summer was too much stress for me this year. I love, love, love the farm, but I felt like I needed more flexibility and energy for my kids this summer than previously. I will be using many of those early mornings to train for the triathlon. The training doesn't HAVE to happen in the morning, though, if my energy is needed elsewhere that day. My garden at home is also more flexible than a set schedule at the farm. My work at the farm gave me two very important things: quiet time alone and something I felt good at. It also gave me interactions with a variety of other people, regular time outside, a few new skills, a few life lessons, and joy working on something that I love. When I'm at the farm, I feel useful and appreciated. So why give it up? It felt right to use that time differently this summer. We shall see how that goes, yes?

I will order seeds soon and start planting indoors. I've got some huge infrastructure changes happening this season! The garden will expand into what used to be the orchard.

James wants to camp somewhere this summer for 2 nights in a row. Actually, he wants to camp for a week, but I told him we'd have to try 2 nights first. Rachel suggested Starved Rock, so I'm looking into that. Alice and Robert both groaned at the idea, so I may be camping alone with James (and most likely Matthew). I dunno. I don't like to camp, either, but I really like the idea of camping with James. I just want to see him happy in his element...hiking, fishing, scrambling on rocks, checking out bugs and frogs and edible plants. I'm thinking I will find a camping family in the ward and go with them once or twice to learn the ropes before striking out on my own. There's so much I don't know about this stuff! It's silly.

I would have more pictures for you, but Flickr isn't cooperating with my phone for some reason. They will have to wait :(

Randomness complete :)