Summer is in full swing here at the Evans' house. Alex is working 40
hours a week as a summer camp counselor, Robert is loving all the
unscheduled time and gaming with friends, James has created and
experimented with all sorts of dangerous things, and Matthew is gaining
confidence in the pool.
We've had several firsts, too: Bobby and
James went to Boston on a school trip, I attended a peer's funeral, Nova
underwent surgery for an intestinal blockage and separately experienced
emergency treatment for a chocolate overdose within 10 days of each
other, our family went on vacation without Alex, and Robert got behind
the wheel on an actual road.
It's a lot to try and cover all at once in one enormous blog post. I think I'll start with our family vacation to Utah/Idaho.
It was a long, long, long trip to get to Utah. First, we drove to
Indianapolis and arrived about 10pm. Matthew was starving, so Robert and
I went to the only place open, The Waffle House, to get some chocolate
chip waffles for him. The place was sketchy. The cook was vaping. They
accidentally made us two orders of waffles and gave us the second set
free. While Bobby tried to get some sleep, the boys tried to quietly eat
their waffles, get PJs on, brush teeth, and go to sleep themselves.
Then, we "slept." Those of us on the queen beds were not accustomed to
sleeping with another person so close. Matthew struggled to fall asleep,
then woke up with a nightmare. I slept for a while on the floor next to
his bed, which was more comfortable than sharing a queen. I am always,
always worried that my noises and movement are going to disturb the
other person's sleep. Many of us snore. So, whenever I woke up to roll
over or adjust my blanket, it was hard to fall asleep again. Even with
ear plugs. Ugh. It didn't help that we would have to get up a 5am to get
to the airport on time. I swore then and there that our family would
not share a hotel room ever again.
We survived the night, caught our
flights (juuuuuuust barely, in the boys' case), and arrived in Salt Lake
City safe and sound and totally tired. And hungry again.
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| Bobby and the boys flew together. I had to take a different plane. |
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So, so tired.
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| Matthew at Heidi's house. |
| The
kindle was Matthew's best buddy throughout the trip. It kept his
anxiety in check enough for him to engage with new people, eat
regularly, and stay pretty resilient with all of the coming and going
and utter lack of routine. |
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| Heidi took us to a vegan bakery. Taaaaasty! Robert opted to go bouldering with his cousin A instead. |
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| The next day, we spent time in Provo with friends and family. Here is Matthew waiting for us to start our hike to the Y. |
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| Digging for treasure rocks. |
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At the top with M and A.
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I loved, loved, loved catching up with the J family. M was an
influential friend and teacher in the years our family grew to include
Robert and James. Bobby and the boys made a noble effort to keep up on the hike, but
the trail was steep and the elevation was getting to them. Matthew's anxiety was swelling, too, so Bobby took
the boys back down to the car while the rest of us went to the top.
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| The boys in the car. Robert had opted to stay in Salt Lake City and enjoy the quiet space of our VRBO on his own. |
The
rest of the afternoon, I visited with my parents in their new place at
Cove Point. They gave me a tour of the whole facility, I got to meet a
few of their new friends, and I definitely enjoyed their new reclining
couch. We went to lunch at a weird place. I'm kinda glad it was
completely empty, though, because that made it easier to talk. The boys
headed back to SLC and Heidi took me home at the end of the afternoon.
That evening, I had a dinner date with a couple more friends and
teachers who had seen me through Matthew's arrival in our family and so
much more.
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| E and M and the Red Iguana II! |
E
was the first person to hire Alex as a nanny/babysitter. He learned a
lot from that experience! I worked with both of them in the Relief
Society Presidency where they taught me about leadership, friendship,
Christlike service, and so much more. I can be myself with these ladies,
and that feels good.
The
next day, we attended church with the Bennetts and had a big family
dinner at our VRBO. I loved spending time with my parents and siblings
and their families. I used to dread loosely-structured family gatherings
like this, but not anymore. Not since the family cruise, I think. On
the cruise, I got to spend time with them as adults outside of my role
as a mother. That's a very different type of relationship. And many of
my nieces and nephews are adults now, too, which is fun! It makes me
wonder what my children will be like as adults.
My niece A told us about the Harry Potter Exhibition where she works. Matthew is a big Harry Potter fan and we had to take him!
Matthew
was an absolute nut about all of it. He just couldn't believe these
were actual movie costumes and props. We did it all. He pinged from one
amazing thing to another, totally smitten.
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Bobby took Robert and James to mini golf while we were at the exhibit.
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After the exhibit, we had lunch at
The Garage Grill in Draper where we ate under a literal race car. We were also our server's first customers on her first day.
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| I kinda wish I got the car in the picture, too. Pbbsh. |
After lunch, we drove to Idaho Falls to spend time with Bobby's family. Touring Grandpa's garage was awesome. There were all sorts of exciting things and stories to be had. Then we got to make s'mores in the backyard!
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| Rhubarb leaf hat from Gma and Gpa's garden. |
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We spent the night in a hotel, but got two rooms this time. The Roberts shared one and I shared with the younger boys. No one shared a bed. This trip was a pivotal point in James' development. He finally decided that he wasn't a little kid anymore. He was ready to get the same treatment we routinely gave Alex and Robert regarding privacy and personal space. It was something of a paradigm shift for me, and I confess I'm still grappling with it, but I agree with him that it's time. When Alex moves out this August, James will finally get his own room. It will come with a new set of privileges and responsibilities.
Tuesday morning, we set out for Rexburg and the St. Anthony Sand Dunes. We visited with Bobby's sister before renting a couple of dune buggies and scaring the crap out of ourselves on the dunes. Seriously, folks, that sort of driving takes practice. Matthew only kept it together in the dune buggy because the alternative was far more terrifying: hanging out with Gma and Gpa at the lake. Robert was frustrated at my overconfidence which crossed the line into ignorant recklessness more than once. Maybe 12 times? All in all, I would totally do it again.
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The 3 Roberts at the Hales' house.
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Gma and Gpa Evans came with us to Yellowstone National Park. We saw what we wanted to see despite the rain and cold :)
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| Waiting for Old Faithful |
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| Waiting for Old Faithful |
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| They updated those horrifying warning posters. Now they're in color with a whole family looking on! |
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| Matthew was always cold. |
After a couple of days at Yellowstone, we booked it to the airport and got home late, late Friday evening. The kids handled the airports well. The flights themselves were fine, too. The biggest thing I had to learn was to let go of control. I can force my kids to attend something, but that's not always worth it. I'm learning to make my own plans and let the kids decide for themselves. It stinks. I want so much more control than that. Ugh.
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