Another Driver!

It's official, Alex has his driver's license! We completed his 50 hours of driving practice the same week he became eligible to apply for the license. The DMV experience was phenomenal. The employees were extremely friendly and reflected the excitement of a teenager getting his first license. Alex was completely at ease. Then, by random selection, they told him he would have to take ANOTHER driving test...alone...with one of their evaluators...in our brand new electric van...which he had never, ever, ever driven before. His eyes grew wide. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped. My stomach did, anyway. 

Well, I sat in the waiting room too nervous to do much. 

They came back and the evaluator let me know that Alex did just fine. He passed. The most impressive part of the story to me, though, was what Alex said when they first got into the car. He told the evaluator, "I am confident in my driving ability, but I've never driven this car before." That speaks volumes about Alex's maturity and confidence and ability to advocate for himself. I never could have done that at age 16! I wonder if I would even think to say it out loud at age 44. What a kid.

He said they worked together a solid 2 minutes just figuring out how to turn the engine on. I had to laugh out loud. This car is very different from any car I've ever driven, so I wouldn't let Alex drive it before now. I didn't want the features/quirks of the car to distract him from driving, y'know? Well, that kinda backfired on me. 

It's been interesting having another driver in the household. He's taken himself to run errands and go to appointments. He's taken the other kids to Erin's house and midweek youth activities. Matthew is still scared to drive with Alex (I think our experience in Indianapolis kinda traumatized him), but practice will help with that. Alex is actually a very conscientious driver. Not too passive, not too aggressive. Not even passive-aggressive :)

Thanksgiving 2023

We spent Thanksgiving this year with our friends the Garners in Ohio. The 7-hour car trip was the most pleasant we've ever had. Age and maturity make a huge difference! (And so do movies and audio books *cough cough*) We made a lunch/pit stop at a huge public park in Columbus. They had a full-size "boot camp" style obstacle course. I don't think Robert left the car at all. Everyone else took some time to stretch their legs and use the bathroom. It was cold. And windy. 

I didn't take any pictures, unfortunately. Here's my hangup: I don't like to use my phone when I'm around/with people I know. Some of it is avoiding the whole "negligent mom" label, some of it is striving to be more present with the people in my space, but most of my cell phone choices stem from just plain courtesy to others. When I'm doing something on my phone, I'm actively ignoring those around me. That's only okay under very specific circumstances. Anyway, that means I often DON'T have my phone with me when I'm hanging out with people I love. 

We got to the Garners' house about dinner time. James and Matthew immediately went downstairs to the wiggle cars. Alex and I went to pick up pizza. It was a casual and comfortable visit. We love the Garners!

The next morning, the Garners and a few of us Evanses (Bobby, James, Matthew and I) drove to downtown Cleveland to be part of the Turkey Trot. Robert and Alex stayed home. They thoroughly enjoyed the quiet house to themselves. James and Matthew signed up to run the 5k with me and Bobby. It was colder and windier than the day before. Right off Lake Erie, the wind was bitter cold. Matthew was loudly and tearfully regretting his clothing choices that morning as we walked to the starting line. I was beginning to regret inviting him along. Thankfully, the mass of almost 9,000 people was so enormous, we could tuck into the back middle of the crowd where there was no wind whatsoever. There were so many people that it took us a solid 5 minutes just to get to the starting line itself. Matthew and James ran with me. Within the first mile, we had peeled off all of our extra clothes. Hot! Run-walk-run-walk, we finally made it! Matthew was so proud of himself. I was so happy for both of them.

The Thanksgiving meal was simple and very tasty. Rachel assigned different kids to prepare different dishes. Robert walked up to me at one point, showed me his cut thumb, and dryly stated, "I don't know why they thought they could trust me with a vegetable peeler." 

All the traditions were there: turkey, rolls, egg nog and Sprite, sweet potato casserole, cookie salad, asparagus, place markers, Dungeons & Dragons, 3 pie flavors, pumpkin pie for breakfast the next day, and a treat tasting. We didn't get around to minute-to-win-it games, but we did get the "kids on the stairs" photo. Rachel did, anyway. I'll need to get a copy of that :)

I got to give Rachel's road bike a tune up. When I saw her bike, I felt a swelling of love for it like I do my own bike. Riding makes me SO happy. The bulk of my riding experience and joy is inextricably connected to Rachel and her bike, so seeing her bike was seeing a long-lost friend. *sigh* I miss the riding season. We got to do some straightforward repairs. Loved it! They have a whole fleet of road and mountain bikes that I can work on the next time I'm there!

It was a great break for us. The ride home was just as pleasant as the ride out. The kids were reluctant to go back to school, but it was good for all of us :)

2 months

Bike Mechanic Stuff

I've been working at the bike shop for 2 months now. Business has slowed and my hours have been reduced, but I'm getting more thorough and proficient at all of the routine stuff. My first tune up (without repairs) took 4 hours. Yesterday, I performed a full tune up (bike wash, wheel truing, spoke tension, derailleur and brake adjustments, full lube and torque) with a few common repairs thrown in (derailleur hanger alignment, rear cassette, new chain, flat fix, and pedal swap) in only 2.5 hours. I'm really proud of that! I did forget one thing: inform the customer that their bike was ready. I'll pop in this morning and finish that little detail...whoops!

Two months ago, I couldn't identify one tenth of the tools and hardware at the workbench. There are little bowls of assorted bits and bobs at each bench and I remember thinking, "Eventually, I'll know what all of these pieces are and what they're for." Now I do! I'm proud of that, too. 

With fewer repairs coming into the shop, I've started asking friends to let me work on their bikes in my off-hours. I get so excited to get a new bike to work on!

Family Stuff

James has volunteered for Safety Patrol at school. He has to get to school earlier than usual, which has thrown off our morning routine. We had hoped that James and Matthew could get to school early together, but Matthew needs more time to get ready than James does and Matthew isn't allowed at school early without an adult. Also, the boys have started riding their bikes to school, which is sometimes faster than walking and sometimes NOT faster than walking depending on various factors (mostly Matthew). Also, the weather is getting colder, so some days we have to schedule more time to put on coats and hats and gloves (especially for Matthew). All of these variables make it difficult to set a predictable, clock-based routine. And nothing incapacitates Matthew more than a time deadline he's not sure he can meet. So, I think we've settled on James leaving when he needs to (no earlier than 7:30 by foot and 7:35 by bike) and an adult going with Matthew to school a little later (7:45 by foot or bike). I wonder how long they'll want to go by bike. 

James has also gotten together with a few 5th grade friends and proposed a school newspaper club. Robert's 4th grade teacher, Ms. Rush, agreed to supervise them, so now they meet after school once a week to work on it. Matthew does it, too, by default. The older kids like having him and another little brother in their club. Matthew loves it.

Matthew has been wrestling with James a lot more this week. He's getting better. And louder. They play SO loudly. Much of Matthew's time and energy is dominated by James. And he's so mild. I often wonder what he would be like without James' influence. James is a bright red, spicy salsa that punches you in the mouth and Matthew is a pale creamy butter that is subtle straight out of the fridge but so dark, rich, and flavorful under other circumstances. Matthew asked me to read out loud to him and chose a chapter book he had heard about from the school librarian. We got 3/4 the way through it when he learned that the ending would not be happy. Both Alex and James testified to it. Matthew was torn. He really liked this story and wanted to continue, but could not stomach a sad ending. He finally decided that he would stop reading it now so that he could imagine his own happy ending for the kids involved. And last night, he awoke scared. He called for James, but he didn't respond. He called for me, but I didn't hear. He turned on his bedtime story (which usually knocks him out in a few minutes) but it stopped working unexpectedly. That's when he came to my room and woke me up. He explained the situation and apologized over and over for asking me to help him calm down enough to go back to sleep. I assured him this was something I was happy to do for him. In the next couple school years, James will be at the middle school and Matthew will stay at the elementary school. There will be a few more opportunities to interact with Matthew without James around. I wonder what we'll see from Matthew then.

Robert continues to do well in school and work a little on the weekends. He really enjoys playing video games online with his friends. Last weekend, he joined 7 of his friends playing all at once! He has a dry sense of humor that makes me laugh out loud almost every day. Just the other day, he jokingly thanked me for making him take piano lessons because all that hand-eye coordination practice made him faster at video games. 

Alex works for the Urbana Park District bringing special activities to kids at an elementary after-school program. He likes working with the kids. He's a little frustrated, though, at how the adults approach the work and the kids. Such is gainful employment. He's also taking his high school's advanced child development class which runs a preschool. Every day this week, Alex came home with another hilarious or dramatic story from his preschool or after school adventures with kids. He's a pretty good storyteller. I'm wondering how that will play into his future training and career choices. 

Matthew is 9!

Happy Birthday, Matthew! You're officially 9, but you feel older than that. In fact, when you learned that the Ward Trunk or Treat fell on your birthday, you asked to celebrate it a day earlier so we could keep all the usual birthday traditions AND enjoy the ward activity. 

And celebrate, we did. There was no school on your birthday due to parent-teacher conferences. Your teacher had only wonderful, glowing things to say about you and your school work. You've found it challenging this year to work with a teacher who is much more fluid and loosey-goosey than you, but it's given you practice advocating for yourself and asking questions when expectations are unclear.

I was concerned about your math scores. Your teacher assured me everything was fine. And yes, your math scores are within grade level expectations, but they have been declining since Kindergarten. Your teacher suggested a little more practice. I sat with you while you used a school website to practice math. You had no problem grasping the concepts, but you got increasingly more distracted as the practice progressed. This was helpful for me to see.

Anyway, back to your birthday. Dad made you your favorite breakfast of scrambled eggs, bacon, buttery toast, and orange juice. It was crazy hard to wait until 7:15 to open presents, but you did it. It was a fine balance between letting the teenagers sleep in on their day off and having everyone there for present opening. You got a card with money from Gma and Gpa Evans, 2 Shel Silverstein books from Gma and Gpa Poulson, a family-size bag of Cheetos Puffs from James, and a pose-able Grogu toy from Mom and Dad.  

Alex wanted to give you a very, very special gift this year. It's actually good you decided to celebrate on a day with no school. We had to drive 90 minutes to Springfield to get your present! Alex took you to a Build-A-Bear where you got to create your own stuffy. You made a white axolotl with a Santa costume and a lightsaber. He has a heartbeat and smells like strawberries, too, I believe. The road trip was part of the fun. Alex drove. James came along, too. We listened to music and talked. After Build-A-Bear, we visited a candy shop in a Scheels store. In fact, it was the SAME Scheels store I visited just before my last triathlon. I had forgotten my luggage at home and had to pick up a few things for the race. You used some of your birthday money to purchase 4 different kinds of sour spray. Dude, you like sour stuff. 

We got home just in time for a birthday dinner with Erin. You chose Black Dog Barbecue for their fries and brisket. We stuck 9 candles into a carton of ice cream and sang "Happy Birthday" to you. You made a wish, but didn't tell us what it was, and you didn't spit on any of the ice cream! We ate ice cream sundaes and then you showed Erin some cool video game stuff until bedtime. 

It's been a great year for you, Matthew. You've stretched yourself in lots of ways. You make us laugh with your quirky sense of humor. I've been caught off guard more than once by your dry wit. You prefer to avoid conflict and will choose peacemaking over pride any day. You're standing up for yourself more, too, pushing back when Robert or James tries to dominate you unjustly. We've seen more anxiety from you lately. Night time is hard, especially when there are thunderstorms in the forecast or you've had a particularly nasty dream. You worry about a lot of things. You worry for a lot of people. It takes a toll on you. That said, you are awfully cheerful and silly most of the time. You pride yourself on being a good student AND being popular. I've seen you sacrifice things you love for people you love. One role you have taken on strong this year is acting as our family's health and safety inspector. You are set on reducing disease through good hygiene and eliminating accidents through meticulous attention to safety protocols. When I'm tempted to cut corners in either hygiene or safety, I think about the stern talking-to I'll get from you later, and I choose the better way. That's a good thing, Matthew, and I'm grateful for it.

Earlier this week, while you were home sick from school, you decided to practice being a dad. You had your baby doll and asked me all sorts of questions about what to expect and what to do to care for him. And, being the responsible sort of kid you are, you stuck to the routine: nap-feed-change diaper-play-nap-feed-change-diaper-play-nap, etc. You really tried. I had to laugh out loud when you said, "This is kinda hard. He sleeps a long time. How do you play with a baby?? And is this ALL he does?" Dude, I thought those EXACT same things as a mom with an infant. You decided to let your kids grow up. You had a toddler who liked to scoot around the house on a toy car. Then you homeschooled your preschooler and his friend. 

Here, you're introducing the letter of the day to your preschooler and his friend while your infant naps in the other room.

When music is playing, you can't help but dance.

When a toddler is near, his antics grab your attention and delight you.

When someone licks their finger, you insist on a thorough handwashing.

You decided you wanted to learn some magic tricks the other day. I helped you find a kid-friendly tutorial online and you practiced 13 different tricks. You got pretty good at a couple of them and totally surprised us. The look on your face was priceless...confidence, excitement, and delight. I guess that's something you're good at: delight. Is it your age? Your personality? You still feel delight regularly. Delight requires a certain element of innocence and trust and wonder that the other kids don't carry anymore. I love seeing it.

I love you, Matthew. Happy Birthday!

Now I'm Sick

Matthew, James, and I have finally caught whatever cold/flu was vexing Bobby, Alex, and Robert while we were away in WV and VA. It's no fun. I kinda thought they were overdramatizing their pain because we were gone, but this infection is totally worth all the moaning and groaning I heard. My apologies to Bobby, Alex, and Robert.

Before I got sick, we had a busy week. We bottled gallons of applesauce, chunky and smooth. I worked at the bike shop a couple of days and FINALLY came to understand the physics of a rear derailleur tune up! Huzzah! I also got to replace Robert's brake cable, which was awesome, and discovered his current bike is 2 sizes too small for him. He's now officially 5'9", which makes him too tall for ANY of the bikes we currently own. Semi-related story:

Alex came home from Youth Activities one evening and said that a girl from another ward pointed out Robert and mentioned he was pretty cute. Alex, aghast, informed this friend that Robert was his BROTHER and only 13 years old. This friend is 15. Robert didn't mind hearing this story. He kinda liked being mistaken for an older boy (I bet being called "cute" wasn't too bad for his ego, either).

Bobby's toothache turned out to be a dying nerve and one heck of an infection. Once the nerve finally died and the infection was treated with major doses of antibiotics, his pain disappeared. The root canal will be pretty difficult. He's got curvy roots. That's scheduled for January.

Matthew also turned 9 years old. I'll put that into another post :)