That James-y

I feel like I've done several of the "list" blog posts lately just because there are so many moments I want to think about and share, but no time/energy to give them the proper consideration I crave. I'm afraid I'll lose them forever if I don't record them somewhere, though, so here they go in incomplete form:

James, James, James. He's just barely coming into himself personality-wise, and what an interesting fellow! He has no qualms shouting at and wrestling with other kids moving in on something he deems his own...he scared an 8-year-old off of his baby bike today. The big kid was fooling around on James' bike, having a laugh, and James runs right up to the front of the bike, grabs the handlebars and screams "No!", then starts pulling the bike out from under the startled big kid. James didn't even want to ride the bike, mind you, he just didn't want this other kid riding it. He does stuff like that with Robert all the time. He's even done that to other kids when he feels Alice or Robert is threatened by them. A baby moved in on a toy Alice was playing with. Alice was trying to keep a hold of it delicately and James comes barreling over to push the baby away. When I get James' attention and tell him that "It's okay" or "It's so-and-so's turn", he stops the fighting/screaming immediately and happily returns to his own business. Like a switch got turned off.

James is acutely aware of what Alice and Robert are doing at all times. Alice and Robert have a habit of asking our backdoor neighbors if there are any chores they can help with. James is too little to help the neighbor (heck, sometimes I wonder if Robert is even old enough to actually be helpful), but he hears the name "Diane" and instantly knows where the kids are going. Once, Robert didn't quite shut the back gate that separates our yard from Diane's. James took off running from the house at full-speed to get through the crack. Alice saw James making a break for it and screamed for Robert to shut the gate. Robert was too slow to respond, so Alice ended up racing James to the finish, barely shutting it in time. James crumpled into the lawn in bitter defeat, screaming and sobbing. Then he let Alice pick him up and sweetly carry him back to the house.

Another story of James' acute awareness: I noticed another neighbor of ours was trying to sweep her enormous driveway with a half-rotten, swoopy straw broom. I have a broom like that for outdoors, too, but I also have a sturdy push broom. I asked Alice and Robert to get the push broom from the back patio and deliver it to this neighbor. Well, immediately James hops up to go. I thought he was just going out back to play because he likes to toddle around out there all day. A few seconds later, I see Alice and Robert running across the street to deliver the push broom and James is at their heels waving our own half-rotten, swoopy straw broom. He's fast. He's independent. And if Alice and Robert are already doing it, he doesn't think to ask permission. How much of this specific situation did he understand? I don't know. But it was certainly more than I expected.

Despite all this spunky fighting, awareness, and independence is he's perfectly responsive to boundaries and correction...from adults. He comes willingly when he's called. He remembers that food isn't allowed on the carpet. He stops butting heads when he's told (by an adult) that the situation is normal/allowed/okay for some reason. Exceptions exist, of course, but he's generally a conscientious little man and doesn't intentionally bend/break rules that adults have established for him.

The most interesting part, the part that keeps me wondering and wanting to figure it all out, is the pure delight he takes in games that bend/break the boundaries. The veggie-stealing game, for instance. James eats more veggies if he thinks he's stealing them from me. One evening at dinner, I made a silly, grumpy game out of it. The big kids laughed and laughed. It was hilarious. And now, James puts on a sneaky little face and steals veggies from me almost every night. This is SO interesting because he doesn't take delight in bending/breaking "real" boundaries. Not yet, anyway. He can tell the difference. He delights in the difference. He's probably a perfectly normal kid. It's just that I haven't had a normal kid yet :)

Alice would NEVER play that game at his age. Even now, she's hesitant to play games that center around "breaking the rules." Alice abhors conflict.

Buddy would happily play this game at any age, but he would quickly escalate into throwing the stolen food or turning himself into a monster that comes to eat me instead. Buddy relishes conflict: big, gross-motor, in-your-face, physical conflict.

James actually EATS the stolen veggies, and he's patient enough to enjoy the game at the same level for the entire meal. He's just different from the other two and he's not going to let me forget that. Ever. And yet he considers himself one of them in every way. He expects the same treatment, privilege, and access to life that they enjoy. I still see him as a baby. He's a walking, talking, rule-keeping, personality-asserting individual and I'm having a hard time graduating him out of babyhood. Maybe that's why he's always surprising me.

Bobby's been gone at a conference all week. I felt that this time there were specific blessings that came to our family while Bobby was gone. We somehow got dealt an extra measure of peace, patience, and protection. I can't explain it. Things still went crazy, of course, like any regular week, and I pretty much lost my grip in a BIG way this afternoon (sorry, kids), but there have been small blessings scattered throughout that made the crazy more beautiful. Anyway, I'm only telling you this because James has been singing himself to sleep this week. He normally cries. I'm choosing to chalk up the difference to that added protection/patience/peace phenomenon that I've felt this time around.