Travel Routine

I've spent a lot of time this summer 1-on-2 with James and Matthew, a lot of it away from home.  They're pretty good at packing an overnight bag now, though James has forgotten his pajamas twice, and they almost never remember to brush their teeth when we're away. 

They're getting better at falling asleep in new and weird places, though. 

I like to think that this time with them is helping me get better at stuff, too.

With Matthew, I'm learning to hold my tongue. He's always listening and he's almost always on the lookout for potential crises. Even an innocuous "hmm" can kick his worst case scenario machine into high gear. Sometimes it takes 10 minutes for a scare like that to wear off.

With James this summer, I've actually witnessed thousands of his interactions with Matthew but I still don't know how to help them improve their communication. He says he's shy, but I've seen him hover on the perimeter of peer groups until an opportunity presents itself to make a joke or start a new game and he jumps right in.

Ear plugs are my best friends when it comes to sleeping in new places. I. Love. Them.

It feels like "The Summer of James and Matthew." Bobby is at work. Alex is at work. Robert prefers to stay in his room to avoid contention with James. It's just me and the little boys kicking around, doing our thing. That's the routine. We hang out at home, we hang out camping, we hang out traveling. Routine. 

I'm getting kinda tired of the routine. Feeling worn down. Need a little more variety in my life. Plenty busy, though. Don't need more to do. Just gotta find a way to recharge faster or more efficiently. 

Onion Soup

I planted a bunch of onions this year, but I was late, so they weren't very big when they got the signal to make a bulb (i.e. 14 hours of sunlight). I held out hope that they might get bigger. Nothing changes after 2 weeks. Ugh.

I harvested them all, cleaned and sliced them, and threw them into a pan with butter to caramelize. Then I made onion soup. Tasty!

Would I have made onion soup this week for any other reason? Nope. Necessity is the mother of invention, right?

Kid Camp

Matthew's Kid Camp this summer has gone really well. He's put on an Animal Week, Water Week, and Ninja Week so far. Matthew runs his camps a little differently from Alex. It's more like an organized play date. He chooses games/ activities that he likes to play and plays along with them. He has somewhat of a "teacher voice", but he lacks confidence. The truth is, he doesn't want to be in control. He just wants to play with people. 

He and James have worked pretty well together. They're responsible when they need to be. A couple times, they've had to stop their own fun so that they could help the youngest kids be safe and have fun. That's really hard when you're 8 and 10!! I'm proud of them. 

Water Week with 3 year olds: as simple as a bucket of water and some ice giant cubes.

James was the sparring partner for all the campers learning swordplay. We gave him some protective gear.

Matthew and James love planning these camps. Honestly, they just sit around thinking about what sounds fun to do and then make it happen.

Camping #7 Pretty Darn Good

I asked a camping friend where she likes to take her camping family when they go camping near here. Camping camping camping :) She said Eagle Creek State Recreation Area was their favorite and suggested I get two adjacent campsites because the sites tend to be small and crowded. Well, I'm SO glad I took her advice. 

First off, the weather was perfect *heavenly chord*

 

Second, Eagle Creek was beautiful and foresty and close. It only took an hour to drive there! On this trip, we listened to all of "Holes" by Louis Sachar (the boys loved it!) and started "Charlotte's Web" by E.B. White. Both boys were informed that this is viewed as a sad story, the spider dies in the end, and there is a lot of talk of killing animals for food. They were okay with that. 

As we drove into our campsite, we stopped to watch 1) a doe and fawn, 2) a series of young bunnies hopping around, and 3) red squirrels. Our campsite was in the forest, but the ground was clear and shady. 

Third, we were literally the only campers in that section of the campground. 

Fourth, the shore of Lake Shelbyville was an easy walk away. We explored the shoreline, waded in the water, and tried some fishing. Fireflies were beautiful. As we lay in the tent, looking up at the tree canopy, Matthew saw figures and told me about them. 

Wading in Lake Shelbyville. Matthew found "quicksand." James found beautiful blue-streaked rocks.

We could see fish leaping out of the water offshore, but they were not fooled by our lures and bait.

James politely declined the job of Fire Meister, but was helpful in lots of ways when I remembered to ask him. I kept the food super simple. I also forgot to bring the roasting sticks. The boys didn't mind that much. They prefer their s'mores cold and "deconstructed" anyway. 

Pit toilets aren't our favorite. We're getting used to them.

I made a concerted effort to keep to our bedtime and morning routines. That helped a TON. We brushed teeth, read scriptures, and prayed. I did my full "ready for the day" routine in the AM, which helped me feel more human. Usually, with these camping trips, I'm trying to rush through the whole thing and get back home ASAP. I'm slowly learning to make camping more "normal". We've set up camp and taken it down 14 times now, so that's becoming routine. I guess that's the biggest difference I felt with this trip. A lot of the camping stuff itself felt routine. We know how to do everything. We know what to expect. That relieves a lot of stress. I didn't sleep great, but I slept better this time than I had most of the other trips. 

We didn't see or hear anyone else until we ventured into the RV part of the campground for a couple of hikes. The hikes were a mixed experience. When Matthew is insecure or tired, his mood can be brittle. Small disappointments and changes trigger emotional meltdowns. He used to be my most easy-going kid :( There was a meltdown during the second hike due to the order in which we hiked. Matthew didn't feel safe in any order except one, and James didn't like that particular order. Even when we sorted it all out, Matthew's good mood was gone: sobbing, hypersensitive, angry that he couldn't make himself happy again, feeling like the whole day was ruined now, etc. I noticed then that we weren't on the trail anymore. Somehow, we had missed a turn. We weren't in danger, but Matthew didn't handle it well. I felt impressed to take a little break (instead of forging ahead to finish this crazy hike ASAP). I sat on a log, James offered to scout ahead, and Matthew said, "Yeah, I could use a rest. Can I sit by you?" He sat down right next to me, as close as he could scoot his little booty, making sure the whole side of his body was contacting mine. I felt impressed to hug him, slowly and tightly, and quietly tell him I love him. He relaxed. His mood lightened. He started telling me something silly. The rest of the hike was much more pleasant.

Cool little bridges along the hike.

Pausing for a selfie.

After our hikes, we headed to Decatur for some mini golf. The course was more challenging than I had anticipated! And I learned more about Matthew. While James and I preferred to work through the course systematically, doing our best to get a good score, Matthew tolerated the game just long enough to find a particular hole or shot that amused him, then he gleefully whacked his ball in a hundred different wrong ways over and over and over again, pretending he just couldn't get it right. He found it hilarious. I didn't. But, again, in an effort to enjoy the moment and not rush through this time with him, I watched and tried to enjoy his happiness. It would have been easier to enjoy Matthew's happy moment, though, if it weren't also James' bored and frustrated moment. I did my best. 

Only 4 more camping trips to go!

Words

Out of the mouth of a 13-year-old:

"No, I only tease people I trust to love me already." Explaining his love language to Matthew this morning. He had said something snarky to Matthew, Matthew groaned, I explained that teasing is how Robert shows love, so Matthew should feel loved. Robert corrected me with the above statement, making the lighthearted (but totally true) point that his teasing is only an indicator of his perception of YOUR love for HIM, not the other way around. He doesn't play mind games. His mind just works in roundabout ways. 

"Okay, this is slightly more fun than I thought it would be. " He and I were sharing a paddleboat at Crystal Lake Park for Monday Night Fun. Robert doesn't like outside. Adamantly. So, a family activity involving open water, flying insects, and spiders was already cruel and unusual to him. For just a couple moments, as we raced to catch Matthew and Bobby's boat and Robert finally got the hang of the rudder, he turned to me and told me this. 

"I'm sorry." This one doesn't come often, but it's sincere when it comes. 

"I genuinely think you're going deaf. " I heard this when I didn't understand yet another few things he was telling me in haste. I do think I should get my hearing checked. He's not the only one I wish I could understand better the first time.