There are traditionally forty days in Lent which are marked by fasting, both from foods and festivities, and by other acts of penance. The three traditional practices to be taken up with renewed vigour during Lent are prayer (justice towards God), fasting (justice towards self), and almsgiving (justice towards neighbour).
However, in modern times, observers give up an action of theirs considered to be a vice, add something that is considered to be able to bring them closer to God, and often give the time or money spent doing that to charitable purposes or organizations.
I first heard about Lent from a Catholic friend who adored it as a season to prepare for Easter. Then I brushed into it again with an atheist co-worker who found it a fine time to give in to all his vices...just to be contrary :) Finally, I read an article on modern observances of Lent and was struck by one pastor's words that most people see it as a time to sacrifice something for a while, but it should really be used to make us better people forever. What a notion! I loved the idea that I could focus on one of my sins or weaknesses for 46 days and truly repent/overcome/conquer and improve myself!
So that's why I observe Lent.
Last year, I tackled my addiction to treats. It took 46 days of fasting from treats to show me how and why I needed them so badly. Now, I'm better at moderating and indulging periodically like a normal person. Not perfect. Never will be. But now these are conscious choices and I don't feel so out of control anymore.
This year is a tough one. Been thinking about it a lot. There is something I struggle with that I wish and wish and wish I could improve almost every day: interactions with people I don't know well.
- I have a hard time making eye contact with strangers I pass on the sidewalk.
- If I see someone I recognize (but don't really know), I duck out or busy myself with something and pretend I don't see them.
- I never introduce myself to new people at church or work functions or moms groups or anywhere.
- I don't invite people to do stuff with me, even if I really, really, really want to get to know them better.
So, it's time to face the awkwardness. I don't expect to change into an extrovert over night...or ever...I just want to find a more comfortable expectation for myself.
That's my focus from Wednesday (Ash Wednesday) to Easter Sunday. I'm still debating how best to approach it, but I will probably set specific goals/behaviors for myself (e.g. say hello to everyone I pass on the sidewalk? chit chat with grocery store cashiers? invite three new people to do something social with me? read a self-help book on making conversation?).
Still have 2 days to figure that out :)
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Awesome! I love the idea of making it a permanent change somehow. That's my focus this year, too.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your thoughtful musings (and also think Lent is pretty cool).
ReplyDeleteI think something that will help you is figuring out how to let go of your expectations of what other people think. Let me explain. I remember hanging out with you at the Bairs' and a quiet moment arrived. You took the chance to apologize for not being good at making conversation. It was a totally unnecessary apology. I enjoy quiet time in the company of others. But something made you feel pressured about the situation. Maybe just that we didn't know each other well at the time (I think it was the first time we met outside of church). Something made you think that things were going badly and you ought to apologize. Maybe you could find a mantra for yourself, a new script that doesn't assume that you're doing a bad job in a social/small talk situation when whether or not you're doing a good job is in question. Something that permits the possibility that what you are experiencing as an awkward moment may not be an awkward moment for others? Or something?
I love reading your thoughtful musings (and also think Lent is pretty cool).
ReplyDeleteI think something that will help you is figuring out how to let go of your expectations of what other people think. Let me explain. I remember hanging out with you at the Bairs' and a quiet moment arrived. You took the chance to apologize for not being good at making conversation. It was a totally unnecessary apology. I enjoy quiet time in the company of others. But something made you feel pressured about the situation. Maybe just that we didn't know each other well at the time (I think it was the first time we met outside of church). Something made you think that things were going badly and you ought to apologize. Maybe you could find a mantra for yourself, a new script that doesn't assume that you're doing a bad job in a social/small talk situation when whether or not you're doing a good job is in question. Something that permits the possibility that what you are experiencing as an awkward moment may not be an awkward moment for others? Or something?