It's a...

Human? This was the "best" shot of the baby's face the technician could get. Of course, our sweet little man was not exactly forthcoming...all balled up and wiggly at the same time. A boy! Alice was not surprised at the news, but she quickly informed me that the baby in HER tummy was a girl. I asked her what we should name him and she suggested "Susan." Bobby and I were thinking "Zurg Rex" was more appropriate considering the above photo (thanks to Joshua G. for the name suggestion, by the way).

Honestly, I'm struggling NOT to cram this boy into the "boy stereotype" box in my brain: noisy, destructive, physically aggressive, and disobedient with gusto. The funny thing is, most boys I know (and have ever known) do NOT fit that stereotype, and yet it remains.

After the ultrasound, we met with one of the midwives. He confirmed that everything important was in place and the baby was doing well. I asked about the possibility of an early labor again. Turns out, it only counts as early labor if it starts with contractions, not your water breaking. Shucks. Maybe this kid really will be born in April. Hm.

Bobby and I took our "Skelator" photos back to the car with us and started home when we noticed the car didn't sound right. We pulled off and discovered a very flat tire. Just 20 minutes later, we were driving home on our teeny donut spare and realized it was flat, too. A gas station was right there, so we filled up with air and prayed we would get to a tire shop in time. The spare held up just fine and we decided to go pick up Alice and share the good news with her. She was staying with her friends, and my friend, so I stuck around to enjoy a long chat with my friend about these crazy mixed feelings. I kept wondering WHY the gender thing seemed to matter so much. Why did I feel like curling up somewhere quiet and thinking about the news for hours? Why was this news something that I had to process and ponder when the news about Alice's gender was surprisingly easy to accept? I think it stems from that crazy "boy stereotype" of mine...like I will have to be a different mommy to each child.

But that's not all. My feelings are also complicated by the fact that I already have a vibrant and active little girl that I love dearly. The larger, and more pressing, issue is how another child will change what I already know and love about being Alice's mom. Alice and I headed to the tire place to get the flat fixed. They said it would take half an hour so we walked over to Culver's for a quick lunch. I held Alice's hand as we crossed the parking lot. She was chattering away about what she was smelling and how many cars there were and the mess of ketchup someone had left in the parking lot when the strangest thought crossed my mind, "This is one of the last times that it'll be just me and Alice." That thought makes no sense, and it's totally untrue, and yet I could hardly keep myself from crying. I'm mourning as if she's going to be taken away from me as soon as the next baby materializes. That's not true, of course, but the feeling is in there deep and I can't shake it off as easily now that the baby has a gender...and a face, of sorts :)

It turns out there was nothing wrong with the tire. No puncture, no valve leak. The tire pros couldn't find any reason why it went flat when it did. Funny, huh? I was completely relieved at the news. When we got back into the car, I happened to glance over at our ultrasound pictures again. I was struck with a fresh relief, a new thought, "Hey, maybe this mom-of-two thing isn't actually a problem that needs to be fixed. Maybe it'll be okay after all."

Now to think about boy names...