Here's the thing. The "wedding dress" in question is not the dress I actually got married in. It's the formal gown I threw on afterwards for pictures and receptions. I have tried and tried to tack emotional significance to it over the last, um, twelve years and failed. The most meaningful symbols of that event to me, actually, are two tiny scraps of paper that most people probably throw away. I came across them months after our wedding and fell in love all over again. So! To me, the dress is simply a relic from all the formal to-do that accompanied our marriage. It doesn't represent the things I cherish most from that experience. It's nice, it's pretty, and it's still useful...I'm sure a dozen women could get married in it before it fell apart...
Do I give it away? What are your thoughts on your formal wedding clothes? Have your feelings about your wedding clothes changed with time? Have you kept them?
And if you're wondering how I would feel stumbling upon my mother's or grandmother's or great grandmother's wedding dress, I've given that some thought. I would only want to value that item as a symbolic relic if it 1) represented who that person felt they were, or 2) represented who they were to me. Does that make sense?
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I was actually married in my mother's dress and I've already asked that when the day comes that she gets rid of it, that I would like to have it. Her dress is actually the one that I wore when I attended the temple before my mission too. I would love to continue wearing it, but I might have to hold my breath to get the thing to zip up.
ReplyDeleteAs for the dress in all my wedding pictures--I like it and try it on every now and then to see if it still fits, but other than wearing it as part of a costume for a RS party, I've never worn my wedding dress out of the house apart from the pictures afterward and two receptions. I keep thinking about replacing the sleeves in it and making it more useful to me, but even without a use, I would keep it because it was something I picked out and sewed with Mom's help. For me, it represents an experience greater than the event itself. I never had it specially cleaned and I don't plan to box it up. I actually don't think it's worth that, but when I do see it hang in the back of the closet, it makes me smile and think of something I accomplished.
In general, I don't feel like you should hang on to anything (clothing or otherwise) that doesn't have a use or emotional connection. It gives me greater satisfaction to pass something on to someone who could enjoy it, or even cut something up to give it a new life. Is it a style that some other woman might wear? Is the structure something that could be altered for another woman? ---would it horrify you to cut up your dress? Could it be used to make a baptism dress for Alice? (Assuming she'd be into having a frilly white dress to wear on her baptism day.)
I have heard of others using their dresses to make blessing clothing for babies, baptism dresses, and I have a drawstring bag for my packet of temple clothes made of part of mine. I do like that association. I had no desire to wear my mother's dress, and don't really expect my daughters to wasn't mine. But Justin's family is very different. One of his sisters altered her mother's dress and wore it to the festivities. It had yellowed too much for temple use. And two of his other sisters have used leave from their minds veil as part of their veils.
ReplyDeleteA baptismal dress?! Oh. My. Heavens. That's perfect. I love how your wedding dress(es) reminds you of time with your mom. And an accomplishment. That's the kind of something worth holding on to.
ReplyDeleteDo you have a sentimental daughter? To me, just getting to see and handle and touch my mom's wedding dress would be a wonderful thing (even if she didn't wear it for the ceremony, just at the reception). I would totally have wanted her to keep it just so I could look at it one day. It may only be something I did once... but it would be significant to me. So even though it may not be for you, it still could be for your child. :)
ReplyDeleteI am totally not sentimental like Ashlee. I could care less about my mother's or my wedding dress. In fact I have tried to sell it online a couple of times but no takers so far...
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