Pictures :)

 

James' class was practicing Facts vs. Opinions and this was what he wrote. My favorites are "I think water has a taste" and "I think fish aren't very good pets."

Matthew's class was also working on Fact vs. Opinion. His opinion was, "I think snakes are cute." This morning, Matthew asked me if babies were still cute even when they barfed. Give me a baby sneeze any day, but barfing? Ugh. 

I got more chicks. Robert's first response was an emphatic and exasperated, "Again?!" Yes, my child, I have a problem. James and Matthew were much more receptive. They even consented to let the chicks live in their room since we're short a bathroom for the next several weeks. This breed is called Starlight Green Egger. They're the cross between a breed that lays blue eggs and a breed that lays brown eggs. Thus, they are good layers and the eggshells are varying shades of green. The kids aren't allowed to claim or name any of them. They're all MINE.

Our family finally got Covid last month. Here's Matthew in his sick bed on day 2. We were especially concerned about Matthew catching it because his asthma is almost exclusively triggered by viral infections. I had resigned myself to the fact that if Matthew contracted Covid, we'd end up in the emergency room one way or another. As soon as he tested positive, I sent out a plea to his grandparents for prayers on his behalf. Seriously, folks, grandparents' prayers are powerful. Any time I let them know of something we're concerned about, things clear up beautifully. Well, Matthew felt sick for maybe 24-36 hours and then he was his normal self. No asthma, no lingering effects. Maybe his age helped (Covid hit the rest of us much, much harder than that), but that's not the whole story. I'm grateful for family and the power of prayer.

Here's Alex sporting his Invisalign braces and the Spider Man action figure custom-made with his own face. He was thrilled, even if it doesn't reeeeeally look like him.

Snow fun! Haven't had much of that this year.

"Things I think I would love" by James 1) being the owner of a bank, speeding away on a boat with treasure and dollar bills flying out behind him. 2) a rocket fueled by gold.

The WEIRDEST baby carrot we've ever seen in our lives. It looked like the outer layer unfurled completely and lost its core. It was a sheet of carrot. Matthew assures me it was delicious.

Robert doesn't do pictures anymore, or else I'd share something from him, too. He made an ugly but fantastically delicious strawberry cherry Jell-O cake last week. That was delightful. 

Volunteering and Inequalities

The 4th grade won the Penny Wars PTA fundraiser with a whopping score of 15,000 points. Second place was only 8,000 points. They had a solid strategy and pulled through. James was pleased, though a little let down to learn that his grade would have won even without a generous contribution from his own money coffers. All the 4th grade classes will get pizza parties and the PTA will get $1100 to fund field trips, give out birthday books, put on family nights, feed and support teachers during parent-teacher conferences, and provide meals/childcare at PTA meetings. 

I've been volunteering at the school for the 4th and 5th grade Battle of the Books. I may have told you about this already. There's a specific list of 24 books that kids all over the country read for this, then they compete in teams to answer True/False questions or "In which book..." questions for points. I'm the adult for James' team. On our team, there's one kid who reads chapter books before breakfast, one kid who can barely read a few words at a time, and the rest are somewhere in between. We meet once a month during school to review books and do practice competitions. It's been fun getting to know the kids on my team. There's one kid who struggles to pay attention, but is all puppy love and enthusiasm. There's another who is sharp and confident and consistent. There's another who's confident and arrogant. And there are few quiet kids in the mix, including James, who hang back until they know the answer to the question and then speak up. At the end of our practice yesterday, James said, "It's strange how all the kids on our team like you." 

I did a double take, "Huh? I mean, L was really huggy today, but is there anyone that kid doesn't love?" 

"Yeah, okay, but it's not like 'ugh, here's an adult we have to deal with'. They talk to you and tell you stuff."

I thought that was pretty normal behavior for a group of 9-11 year olds, but to James it was a novelty. I wonder how that came to be. Am I supposed to be uncool? I figure as long as my child is excited to see me at school, then their peers probably think it's pretty cool, too?? Matthew's class is CRAZY excited to have parents at school.

Today will be my first day volunteering for the 4th and 5th grade play. I never could or would have volunteered for these sorts of things when Alex and Robert were this age. I had two little kids at home back then! I volunteered for things I could do from home (e.g. writing Battle of the Books questions) but there weren't many of those opportunities. Now, I can come and go more freely. I have emotional/mental space for more things outside of my home...during school hours anyway :)

I also realized this week that piano practice for the older kids was very different from piano practice for James and Matthew. Alex and Robert needed 6 practices a week in order for their chores to be "done". If they didn't have all of them done by the time chores were due, they would have to do the rest on chore day. Once, Robert had to do a quadruple practice. He got much better at being consistent after that. Matthew and James, however, don't have that requirement. Most of that is their teacher. Skousen was very particular about 6 practices a week and had a check-off sheet and everything. McNabb, not so much. Much more laid back. Totally not equal. James and Matthew aren't learning piano as well nor as fast as the older two did. Also not equal.

And Robert and Alex were making their own school lunches in 4th grade because we had so much going on with the little kids in the morning it just made sense. Robert was/is also pretty rigid about what goes into his lunches and how. He probably would have to make his own lunches in 4th grade even if he were an only child.

Chores for the older kids were pretty weak for a long time. Once the older kids needed bigger chores, the little kids got the easier ones at much younger ages than Alex or Robert ever did. That's one disadvantage to being younger. Matthew has scrubbed more toilets than ANY of the older kids.

Walking to and from school...the bigger kids did it without me. Anine (a neighbor) walked them when James was born, Bobby walked then when James started preschool, then they walked themselves a couple years until Covid. Now, after Covid, Matthew and James get walked to school every day by me or Bobby (weather permitting). And I walked them home, too, until just recently. 

Alex and Robert have had their own rooms since Matthew was old enough to share with James. Matthew and James will continue to share until Alex moves out.

Breakfast has changed a lot, too. The older kids got a hot or prepared breakfast most days of the week. Why? I was already awake with the baby and I wanted a hot breakfast. There was always time for it. Now, however, I get to "sleep in" until 6:30 and I really prefer a breakfast shake these days. I only make hot breakfasts on weekends and holidays.

Quiet Time. I'm pretty sure Matthew only did quiet time until he stopped napping. The older kids likely have lots of stories about quiet time that Matthew will never relate to.

Staying "out" after bedtime. Our family does pajamas, scriptures, and prayer starting at 7pm. All of our kids get to stay up as long as they like after that as long they stay in their room and don't cause anyone any trouble. Since Alex and Robert are older, they get to "stay out" an hour longer than James and Matthew. This is something the younger kids will never, ever get to experience. There will NEVER be younger kids than them who have to stay in their room. "Staying out" will never be a privilege or special alone time with the adults. 

I'm sure there are oodles of inequalities my kids will bring to my attention as our family continues to age. Families can't help but be unequal. People change. Kids grow up. Each person has their own struggles and comforts. I wouldn't want it to be the exact same for all of them. Or me. I wish I could know if it was balanced, though. 

Bathroom pics so far

 Day 1: Checking that things look good.

Day 2: Demolition

Day 2: Final demolition and insulation.

Day 3: Framing and water damage repair (floor).

Day 4: Drywall

Will keep taking pictures and see what happens.

Fainting, Frostbite, Eroding Trust, and 100 pounds of Coins

I realized this week that I've been sharing some of my family's stories and such with folks on Marco Polo and forgetting to record them here on the blog. How will my kids ever know all the fun stories about their childhood if I don't record them?! I certainly won't remember them all. And the ones I do remember will get muddled. 

So, here goes. 

James fainted yesterday. He was cutting cardboard for a school play (he's the Prop Master!) and nicked his finger. It was bleeding and he was washing it out at the sink. Cuts and blood don't usually bother him, but he'd had a stressful and disappointing morning so far and this totally pushed him over the edge. As he wrapped the bandaid around his finger, he just collapsed in slow motion to the floor. My first thought was, "Wow, that fall looked genuine." Then he didn't move and I realized what had happened. I wasn't worried. My kids have fainted before. He didn't hit his head on the way down (lucky!) so I knew he'd be okay. His breathing was kinda erratic, which put me on edge, and I started saying calmly, "Breathe, just relax and breathe." Well, that was all Matthew needed to burst into tears. He thought James was dead. James woke up a few seconds later, totally surprised to be on the floor. He was instantly fine. Matthew, however, needed quite a lot of attention before he finally got a grip on his fears. It turns out, everyone in our family has fainted now except Matthew. 

Robert tells me about his math class. He's really competitive with his friends. He feels good every time he understands something they don't and feels like a chump when they understand something he doesn't. They all eventually learn what they need to learn, but Robert reeeeeeally likes being the first. 

We pulled out the NOAA frostbite chart this morning. It calculates which temperatures and wind speeds will lead to frostbite and how quickly. Robert exclusively wears shorts, t-shirts, and a hoody. That's it. He has a good winter coat and real pants and good gloves and a hat, but he chooses not to wear them. He also rides his bike to school. So, with 20F air temperature, 15mph winds, plus his 10mph bike speed, we figured it would take him longer than 30 minutes to sustain frostbite damage. His route to school only takes 10-15 minutes. He'd be fine! I gave him a ride in the car anyway. Ugh. I'm such a softy. I was heading that way already and it wasn't a big deal but sheesh. If he were wearing all the winter gear we've provided, I wouldn't even consider driving him!

Alex and Robert played games with me last night after J and M went to bed. Bobby was at a High Council meeting. Alex has been annoyed with Robert lately. Robert's personality quirks can get tiresome, but the kid adores Alex and wouldn't ever try to hurt his feelings on purpose. So, it hurts me a little to see Alex deliberately and overtly using his power to get Robert to do menial tasks for him, "Robert. Go get X." "No." "Fine. Then I'll go back to my room." Alex knows that Robert doesn't like staying up with just me and Bobby. Robert only has fun and plays games when Alex is there. Robert, frustrated but unwilling to risk Alex leaving, will reluctantly perform the menial task. It's starting to wear on him. Alex can tell. It's a stupid power struggle. I also noticed a couple instances where Alex used his social capital to get something he wanted from Robert, then, when Robert was in the EXACT same situation asking for the same favor/mercy/consideration that he showed Alex, Alex just laughed and said no. When Robert and I mentioned that Robert had been kind to him earlier, Alex replied with a grin, "That was his choice." It's the coldness of his tone that bothers me. Like he's shutting off his empathy/sympathy center and trying to do the mean thing while passing it off as "Robert should have known better." All Alex is doing is eroding Robert's trust. And mine :(

The master bath remodel is finally underway. Demolition is done. Electricians and plumbers are roughing things out today, then we're waiting on a city inspection before the builders can bring in the cabinets and such.

I went to the gym this morning. I also lugged over 100 pounds of coins to the bank for a PTA fundraiser. They're still counting them and will get back to us in a couple hours. And I helped a friend by taking her rocking chair to the dumpster. My body is tired. 

2022 Christmas Letter :)

Thanks to all of you for sending me a Christmas card! Physical or digital, I absolutely love getting those and I'm grateful to be on your mailing list. Please keep them coming!!

If you're interested, I've prepared a bit of an update on our family to send out. I'm also sending a hard copy of this to those who mailed us cards:

A good year overall! We traveled to Utah, Idaho, Michigan, and Texas to visit family and friends. The kids are old enough now that long road trips are much more manageable :) 

Alexander (15)

A sophomore in high school, eager to start driver's ed this semester, Alex is pleased with his grades and his class load. He's still working on his books and screenplays that will revolutionize the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He's even developed a new language and a base six mathematical concept to fortify his back stories. Alex is serious about this stuff. In the spring, Alex performed in the high school musical, "Anastasia". Then he and Robert tried a little fencing. Over the summer, Alex worked his first job ever: a junior counselor at the park district's nature camp. He loved it. They loved him. He's looking forward to it again this summer. Alex has been cooking and baking every Sunday afternoon all year to create delicious gifts for the Sister Missionaries in our ward...cakes, doughnuts, beef stroganoff, pies, deluxe mac and cheese, etc. He's been taking voice lessons this year and really, really enjoys it. A good teacher makes ALL the difference. He's growing more confident with his voice and even performed "O Holy Night" at the ward Christmas party this year. 

Robert (12)

Now in 7th grade, this boy grew 4 inches this year! At one point his feet literally outgrew 2 successive pairs of shoes in a month. He won't let me forget that he's almost as tall as I am and can now do more pull ups (one-arm and two-arm) in one day than I've ever done in my whole life. He's taken on more responsibilities at church as a deacon. Robert is terribly good at making logical arguments and skilled at punching holes in others' logical arguments. We're all getting better at logic these days. School is great. Every once in a while, he'll show me something clever he did to bypass school internet security protocols *ugh*. And several times a week we get tangled in long discussions about physics, math, optics, and such. He asked to be moved to a more challenging math class. He got his wish. He didn't realize, however, that the real challenge would be asking for help when he didn't quite understand something. Robert's getting more confident in the kitchen. Last week, he made six dozen cookies of 7 different flavors and textures! He'll wrestle with Matthew, throw around hilarious sarcasm and wit with Alex, steer clear of James, discuss computers and video games with Bobby, and literally smother me with affection. 

James (10)

Now in 4th grade, James is a confident reader, prolific and creative artist, and currently captivated by expensive sports car brands. When he spots a parked McLaren, Porsche, or Corvette, we always need to stop and take his picture with it. One of his Christmas wishes was to see a Lamborghini in real life. James is independent and resourceful, and painfully shy around people. He doesn't like practicing piano, but when he's comfortable with a song, he'll magically overcome his shyness and voluntarily perform it at school. His teacher tells me he's a leader and a good example, kind, responsible, and a bit of a jokester. He's observant. He's a master of creating complex works of art out of whatever he can find. Thus, he's already proficient with pocket knives, hand saws, hammers and nails, hot glue guns, acrylic paint, and the Dremel. He's gentle and playful with animals of all types (as evidenced by his interactions with Alex's rats, our chickens, a series of neighborhood dogs, and every living creature he encounters). James has a goal to go camping 10 times while he's 10 years old. I see a lot of hot dogs in my future.

Matthew (8)

Matthew is rocking 2nd grade. At school, he doesn't like to attract attention, but at home, he's a singing, laughing, dancing, joking, wrestling, tough little guy. And he is little. Little for our family, anyway: thin and still comfortably wearing size 5/6 clothes. Matthew is shy with strangers, so it's hard for them to see his quirky sense of humor and his eagerness to play with people he loves. He's made real strides this year in learning to advocate for himself. He was baptized on his birthday (hooray!), lost a couple teeth, visited the ER at least once (double ear infection that caused him to go deaf), spent many tortured hours practicing the piano, and learned to play a mean hand of Bohnanza. He'll gladly spend an hour on the couch reading, but he generally prefers to engage others in one-on-one play. He and James make a good pair that way: James loves leading and Matthew loves the attention and quality time. He looks up to James. A lot. Matthew has a goal this birthday year to go on 8 exciting adventures with people he loves. We've already kissed a reindeer, commandeered the gym playground, taken a train to Chicago, and visited a planetarium. 

Susan (43)

I made progress on several of my goals this year! With my friend Rachel, I biked 50 miles each in Nebraska, Utah, Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Pennsylvania and New York. Just 39 states to go! With my friends at Solidarity Gardens, I helped grow and donate 400+ pounds of organic produce for neighbors at risk of food insecurity. My favorite thing to grow this year was carrots. It's a beautiful feeling to tug on a bushy cluster of stems and suddenly discover a bright and perfectly shaped carrot in your hand. I've been expanding my acoustic guitar repertoire, too, and gaining confidence in singing and making harmonies. I've been able to attend the temple regularly and more often now that all the kids go to school in person. That's been a great improvement for me. I spend most of my time and energy on the kids. They are some of my favorite goals/projects/people to invest time and energy on. I'm still living with an anxiety disorder. I don't think it's going anywhere, actually, and I resigned myself to that fact this year. It's pretty much invisible most of the time, thanks to medication, therapy, and a meticulous self-care regimen. I'm currently serving at church as a counselor in the Relief Society presidency. As part of that service, I'm on the Missionary Committee and the Temple and Family History Committee. It feels like 3 jobs *sigh*. That said, I'm really glad to be in Sunday School and Relief Society again.

Bobby (43)

A very private fellow, this one. I can tell you that he's still enjoying his job as a senior software engineer at Nvidia. His team's projects are getting more attention these days, which is fantastic for job security and not so good for working quietly on your own thing. It's frustrating when companies don't use the product as directed and then blame you when things don't work. I'm oversimplifying, but you get the idea. He's run countless miles outdoors and lifted probably a hundred thousand pounds in his strength workouts over the year. He used an Nvidia GPU to build a gaming computer from scratch. Pretty much everyone in our family uses it to play their own types of games. Aaaaand pretty much everyone likes to watch other people play their games. This year, Bobby has proved a worthy opponent to Robert's frequent and unpredictable outbursts of wrestling energy. Robert usually ends up pinned to the ground, trying to twist or pull himself free. Bobby has also made dinner for our family nearly every night this year. He says it's taken the fun out of cooking *bah humbug* but I can tell you that everyone here appreciates his delicious food. Bobby is serving in the church as a stake financial clerk. He's also been diligently ministering to a few older folks in our ward. He and Robert take the sacrament to them regularly. 

And that's us for this year! I've attached a few photos:

Alex and Robert all suited up and ready to fence

Bobby took this picture of us watching Alex play a video game on the new computer

Robert up close

The 6 of us and our ranger at the end of our tour of Timpanogos Cave

James holding a butterfly at Thanksgiving Point, UT

The 6 of us in Michigan at the Evans Family Reunion

Rachel and I on one of our many rides. I *think* this is New York, but I'd have to ask Rachel to be sure. Some states are a lot like their neighbor states, y'know?

Matthew's baptism day

Matthew kissing a reindeer

James and Matthew posing by a purple Lamborghini