James

James is one month from turning 5 years old. He's going through a phase that's especially frustrating right now...pestering loved ones, pushing buttons, testing limits. He's also really into collecting bugs and exploring his artistic side, which leads to urgent trapping situations (must catch that bug right now, drop everything, or it's the end of the world) and many, many messes on the floor in front of the art cabinet. I thought it was just a James thing, but then I came across this post from when Robert was the same age (just 2 months older, in fact).

They're not so different. In fact, the more I read about Robert at James' age, the more I realize that they are pretty similar. Maybe that's one reason they butt heads so frequently :(

Anyway, it's frustrating now, but Robert's outgrown the most frustrating bits. I have hope that James, too, will find a new and better way to express his needs over the next few years.

A portrait of Dinosaury in marker, complete with a mixed-media 3-D horn taped to the left of the page. The horn is composed of a crayon wrapped in half a mile of Scotch tape.

Losing Efficiency

Preschool has started. James' first day back at preschool was great once I extracted him from my leg. It took nothing short of a new classroom pet to peel him away. Even then, I had to make my exit quickly with a sobbing, frustrated 2-year-old who just couldn't imagine why anyone would want to leave such a heavenly place!!!

With kids back in school, I've had a little time and energy to think about "the next step." There's always one of those, y'know. And I like to be prepared.

The "next step" for me is a day when all of my kids are at school. I've been thinking about this step for a long time, watching how other moms navigate it, asking them about their experiences.

Recently, I had a little test run with some time completely on my own...

Bobby took the kids camping last weekend and I had almost 24 hours to myself at home. I spent a lot of it working on projects and responsibilities, but it didn't feel NEARLY as rewarding as usual. I had to think about it a while to figure out why. Here's the bottom line: I felt so inefficient! Usually, I would grocery shop and prepare a lesson and work in the yard while running a household of 4 kids. That's a really big challenge! Accomplishing all that on my own without my entourage was no big whoop. It was a sweet dream come true (quiet, uninterrupted peace...NPR and I got reacquainted...extended, focused think time...serving all the vegetables I wanted for dinner without a single complaint) but not exactly challenging.

So, in three years, when the morning routine involves walking all three boys to school (R in 5th, J in 2nd, M in Kg), I've got to find something else besides full-time childcare that can convert mundane chores like grocery shopping and lesson preparation into heroic feats of multi-tasking efficiency. Ahhhhhhh, so rewarding.

Alice doesn't mind coming up with new challenges: she took up face painting this week. She's not half bad, considering we lacked the right tools and she only had 4 colors to work with. Library books rock. Matthew is a puppy dog with a tongue sticking out of his mouth.

Alice turned James into a vampire. He was THRILLED!

First Day of School

Ready or not, here they come!

We walked Alice and Robert to school this morning. Both said they were a little nervous, but neither one looked back for even a moment once they saw where they were supposed to be.

James has already decided that he doesn't want to do anything on my errand list today. 

*sigh* I grossly underestimated the power of peer pressure on him this summer. Or maybe he's just having a tough day?

Preschool starts next Wednesday.

My garden is slowly succumbing to disease and old age. 

I'm fantasizing about world travel with Bobby and a posse of retirees.

New groove to develop in the following weeks. Usually.

Farm Dreams

We have a nifty organization in Illinois called The Land Connection whose sole purpose is to grow farmers--take people from the dream stage and connect them to the resources they need to become seasoned, successful, organic farmers. If you follow the link above, you'll see a summary graphic like a map. I'm in the first phase "emerging".

Last night, as part of a birthday present to myself, I convinced a friend to accompany me to one of the Land Connection's "Farm Dreams" courses. It's designed to pull that dream out of your head and get it on paper, out loud, and in better detail.

I left that course LESS CONVINCED THAN EVER that a full-time farm business was for me. I love to grow food. Not one of those seasoned farmers on that panel started farming because they loved to grow food. Each one started because something big changed in his/her life that completely realigned his/her priorities. They wanted to do something more meaningful...something that actually mattered...something real. They all happened to have acres of land, too, and decided to work it. Those with mechanical, welding, and marketing skills were the best situated to make a living from their labors.

I don't have mechanical or welding skills.

I suck at marketing, networking, and building new relationships. I don't even like to try.

I just like to grow plants.

And I already feel like my life is meaningful, real, and purposeful.

So, it's clear to me that I'm not ready to break out and start a farming business any time soon. Not to mention how it would require moving up and away from everything I've come to love right here in this time and place. There's a whole lot I love about my life right now.

But, I still like to grow plants. And I will continue to grow plants the best way I can. I'm pretty lucky to have a huge community garden a block from my house so I can grow small in my backyard (700sqft) or expand up to a tenth of an acre (4300sqft) if I so choose.

Pretty stinkin' cool.

Class Assignments

We got a letter in the mail today revealing the kids' classroom assignments for the upcoming school year. Alice and her posse of soon-to-be 5th grade girls texted each other frantically over the course of an hour as each household got their mail delivered. All but one girl was using her mother's phone. I kinda like that about the parents of Alice's group of friends (i.e. the kids don't have their own phones yet).

Don't know if I'm ready for the summer to end...we found a groove!...I like the way things are right now. This summer, I literally saw each kid grow up a little. Robert and James have an actual friendship forming. Matthew is developing independence and personal opinions and a sense of humor. Alice is losing her childishness a whisper at a time. So quietly. I hardly notice the changes day-by-day, but she's really and truly growing up.

I can't wait for the summer to end...I want a little more mental space, a little less volume...I like to see my kids practice and stretch and try new things.

This year will be similar to last year with Alice and Robert in elementary school and James in preschool. The calm before the storm :)