It's so fun to see them interact that I find myself playing with them the whole time. I wonder sometimes about how Alice's experience in our family will differ from all future siblings' experiences. Will I still be able/willing to play with them and their friends for a few hours every week? Will it even matter then? Life isn't fair, I know, and it will be IMPOSSIBLE for me to spend as much attention and time with each future child as I have been able to spend on Alice alone. I just wonder how I will make up the difference in the end.
I wonder sometimes if I shouldn't spend so much energy and attention on Alice...just so it's more "fair" to future kids. But that's not how this "growing family" thing works. Kids come one at a time (mostly), and it's impossible to have another one after the first is an adult (though some people may like to push that physical limitation), and I KNOW siblings are an important and wonderful part of the whole family experience, but I still wonder how life will be different for future kids. I wonder if future kids will see me differently as a mom. I wonder if I will BE a different mom by then.
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You raise some good points, and I wonder the same things. I'm working full-time, so I feel like I'm missing so much of Benji growing up already, but when I'm home, I'm so exhausted that I don't really want to play, either! He will be spending more time with his cousins, as my schedule is changing and my sister-in-law will be watching him, and it's fun to see their different developmental levels. She also watches Lily (15 months) and has her own little man, Noah (12 months). Benji is almost 7 months, so I hope that he will learn more of what he is capable of by watching them!
ReplyDeleteYou know my dad has made an attempt at it. When I was 11 he had my brother Johnathan and then two years later my sister Tana. Then last I heard he showed up at my grandparents with an 18month old and a new pregnant spouse. I was to horrified to try and track him down and see if this story was true, but if it is we are looking at...
ReplyDeleteWife One: Daughter 27, Daughter 25, Daughter 23, Daughter 20
Wife Two: Son 16, Daughter 14
Wife Three: Daughter 2, Unkown Gender Child 10 months old
Scary I know! I'll be honest with you though Susan, while I feel bad for my future children who won't necessarily get as much attention, mostly I just feel bad for Ezra for the following reason:
1) He has had huge amounts of attention from me...amounts that will never be replicated again. This will of course leave a constant feeling that he is messing out on something.
2) He suffered through my way overprotective mom phase.
3) He is always going to be old enough to realize each time the amount of attention he gets shrinks.
4) He has spent a lot of time talking with me. This means there is a chance he'll end up feeling more comfortable talking with adults then other children...Another possible teachers pet :)
5) Ultimately he is much cooler then I am so while he has had to suffer through have uncool mom part the way for him, Grace has awesome older brother to help her out.
*This is of course all anecdotal and I have no statistical analysis to back it up. I think as mothers our fate is to do the best we can and then always feel a little guilty :)