I've been looking at houses and neighborhoods online this week to get a feel for our future home possibilities. I'm stuck. There are plenty of awesome neighborhoods in the area and heaps of beautiful, friendly homes for sale, but our search restrictions are...um...restrictive, and draining my energy :)
Here's the deal-e-o: I can't decide which restrictions are "needs" and which restrictions are "wants."
*hefty sigh*
The eternal dilemma, eh?
The only things we "need" that this house doesn't already provide are 1) a second bathroom and 2) a school meet that makes "adequate yearly progress". Guess what? It's super easy to find houses with 2 bathrooms in better school boundaries! There are dozens currently available within our price range. So, we have to refine our search a little further.
The next limitation is a "need-like want": Urbana ward boundaries. Or is that a "need" after all? Before Bobby's calling to the bishopric, we were open to moving to any of the three excellent wards in our area. I love many of the families in each of them! But now that Bobby is in the leadership, we're kinda thinking we should stay. Within the ward boundaries, there are several okay schools. In fact, there is one neighborhood in particular that seems to be the nearly "ideal" location (i.e. super close to work, church, elementary school, and relatively close to shopping, bus line, and children the ages of our own children). It just makes sense to consider living there. And I've tried. But it's just so...I'm embarrassed to admit that this is an issue for me...cookie cutter.
Those who know me well know I have problems being like most people *sigh* and I'm quite predictable that way. Show me what most people are doing and I'll take three steps to the left of it. Row after row of vinyl siding, concrete, manicured grass, and toothpick trees just doesn't fit my dream for my family over the next 10+ years. Sounds petty of me to say it that way. I can't figure it out. How can I possibly pass up a great location and wonderful neighbors simply because the houses are too similar and too close together? Hm? Is this something I just need to buck up and deal with? Is it simply a matter of pride?
And then consider this: houses/neighborhoods that DO fit my dream for my family over the next 10+ years are right across the street...right across the ward boundary line! They have all the location advantages I like AND the neighborhood style I prefer, but they're just one blasted block outside the ward boundaries.
Will I have to choose between Bobby's calling and a home I adore (not just tolerate)?
It's just a house, right? People are the real difference between a home you adore and a house you tolerate, right? I could learn to love any house if I were in the midst of good people. I'm sure of it.
It's not a question of choosing which ward I like better. I truly love them both. The question is whether to let a calling or a (petty?) personal preference determine where we will live indefinitely. Which one is more of a "need", if either?
*another hefty sigh*
Your thoughts/insights are greatly appreciated.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
I say go and actually look at houses in both areas. There were house I had thought were just perfect but somehow didn't feel right once we were inside. As far as the calling thing... ugh, I wish I knew. How's this for a predictable answer - pray about it (as though you hadn't thought of that). Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I would ask about the "cookie cutter" houses (because I am also not a huge fan, but we went even worse and bought a cookie cutter townhouse) is whether there is a homeowner's association. At least here every neighborhood has an HOA. If there is one, be sure to check out their rules. Some of the rules I have seen are totally ridiculous in my mind (like you have to park in your garage) and even some of the standard ones, like no clothes lines, can be frustrating. My advice would be to look at homes in both neighborhoods, the "right house" for your family might surprise you, it did me. What we bought was not what I wanted, but now it is home and I love it. And remember, it won't feel like home until you put that touch on it that makes it yours (we have to put up our pictures before it feels like home). Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYour (plural) church service will be valuable wherever you live. Don't have qualms about giving some other family the opportunity to serve ;) Really, if you see something that is perfect, aside from the ward, be careful that you don't let your feelings of loyalty overcome your good sense, intuition, and day-to-day peace.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what you decide, Bobby won't be in this calling forever. You probably won't be in that house forever. All you need to know is where the Lord wants you for the next season. The rest will work out.
ReplyDeleteI like all the comments so far. I guess maybe you could think/ponder/pray about what it is you're going to need to learn with this move -- do you need to learn to live in the mold? or do you need to learn to step away from a good situation, trusting in the abundance of good situations? (Those two options are just two of the many ways to look at it.)
ReplyDeleteThat said, I hated some of the reaction when we moved wards here in Champaign and people called us "traitors." Jokingly, but still. That annoyed me no end. I had to come up with some good responses, and I had to realize that most of the people who were (in my view) criticizing me, were doing so because they liked me and would miss me.
I'm with KT: Bobby's calling might last a few years, but you plan to be in this house much longer. Look at both sides of the road with an open mind, and then choose the house that fits your family's needs. The advice I've always received is that your family takes priority over the ward. And for sure check the HOA rules--if you can't have compost and chickens, do you really want to live there? ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I so totally ditto Rachel.
ReplyDeleteMove to a small town in SD. The ward needs people like you. The schools aren't terrible, but do need some home enrichment to help them out. And there are all kinds of unique houses. Floor boards on the ceiling for example. There are a few cookie cutter neighborhoods, but one of them is on the foothills where the gypsum makes your foundation uneven. You'd be wonderfully close to a family that loves yours and have great opportunities for outdoor activities--especially winter sports--of course it would be a little far for Bobby to commute.
ReplyDeleteAs for serious advice, my opinion is don't be too loyal to the ward. (But stay loyal to your testimony.) Changes always happen with church: boundaries, callings, etc. I know my dad was concerned once about taking the opportunity to move when he was bishop. He was counseled to do what was best for his family even if that meant only serving three (instead of five) years as bishop.
Jon and I also are way into "not cookie cutter." I wish I had better advice past that, but I'm totally with you there. I think Heidi's advice about your family taking priority over the ward is good general advice, though.
ReplyDeleteThey knew that you were selling your house when Bobby was called, correct? They also always say that family comes first, including the happiness of the mother. This includes being someplace that makes you happy. I love our new house and wouldn't trade it for anything. People were not happy when we moved out of Rantoul boundaries but we needed to make changes for our family. So far, it has been a wise decision for our family and our circumstances.
ReplyDelete