Introversion

I'm introverted. Surprise! Ha ha ha, okay, that's no big surprise. Well, it turns out that Buddy is quite the introvert, too, so lately I've been reading about it and watching TED talks about it and collecting informative and hilarious comics about it. I want to understand my child's experience better and relate to him on that spectrum. Being an introvert myself (and a seriously introspective one at that), I know it will be harder to get to know Robert as he grows because introverts don't always share their feelings readily, even with their moms who just want to understand them, gosh darn it.

In my research, I've come across statistics placing introverts anywhere from 25 to 50% of the population. Where are all those extroverts? If you're an extrovert, please leave a comment to this post. I feel like I'm completely immersed in introverts. Maybe I just pick introverted friends...extrovert relationships take a lot of energy, y'know?

Some research indicates introversion is genetic...introverted brains are hardwired differently. Introverts process information in DIFFERENT parts of the brain than extroverts do and therefore introverts and extroverts use certain cellular pathways in different amounts. This whole thing can be tracked biologically, not just environmentally! Absolutely fascinating.

So what does this mean for my relationship with Robert? Well, it means a lot of things. It means some forms of discipline are humiliating (e.g. scolding in front of peers) and some basic routines are paralyzing (e.g. ad lib public speaking, attending a busy/noisy preschool, time pressure to complete a task or make a decision) to him when they would only make an extrovert uncomfortable. It also means that he flows through life at a different pace, getting completely engrossed in a single task or idea for a period of time before moving on to another. He wants to know how and why things work. He can't stand to be interrupted in speech or play. He can only take so much of Alice's attention/play before he starts to drive her away with mean words and actions. Hmmmm, I should talk to Alice about this pattern so she can learn to give him space before he hits the "breaking point."

Robert lives in stark contrast to Alice, who would shrivel up and die if she didn't have new people to interact with constantly. Alice is on stage all day, and she loves it. She neeeeeeeeds it. She's the one who can't stand to be alone, who listens to music/books on CD at the same time she's reading in bed. Just for the noise and comfort of another voice. Robert likes to listen to music in the car. He doesn't sing along, doesn't want ANYONE to sing along. He listens hard and looks out the window and soaks it all in.

Anyway, he's a rich and interesting fellow to watch.

Where will James fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum? Well, as of right now, one of his favorite games is to get perfect strangers to smile at him. He gets right into their personal space and flashes his big, pebble-toothed grin with scrunched up nose and squinty eyes. He just keeps shining it at them until they notice and do something. Then he runs back to safety. You tell me...innie or outie?