When the announcement was made at church that the bishopric would be changing, a boy in the pew in front of me turned to his mom and said, "I liked the old bishop!" His mom (my friend), horrified and embarrassed, responded, "Do you realize you're sitting right in front of the new bishop's wife?!" I assured the young man that I, too, liked the old bishop.
I know Bobby can do a fine job as bishop in our ward. He will be
working with two very outgoing, dynamic, and deep-down good men, too,
which helps a lot.
I, however, feel woefully inadequate to take the "bishop's wife" role. I have this stereotypical image of a bishop's wife as this middle-aged, well-coifed, sharply-dressed lady who is as warm and welcoming as she is firm and professional. She gives hugs and easily chats with anyone who makes eye contact with her. I see her comforting sobbing women. I see her behind the scenes at ward activities serving and acting as the glue keeping it all together.
I don't see her wrestling four young kids of her own. Someone else's kids, sure, but not her own. I think all of hers have grown up. The kids aren't perfect, but at least they're quiet. And potty-trained.
I don't see her as a socially awkward people-phobe who has to give herself a pep talk just to smile at strangers.
I certainly don't see her as me.
I know that I can change with time and practice and lots of prayer. I also know that's it's a lot easier to hide than to change. Let's hope I find a happy medium somewhere in the next five years :)
Five years! Alice will be 12. Buddy will be 9. James will be 7. And this baby I haven't even set eyes on will be walking, talking, dressing himself, and potty trained...all ready for Kindergarten. It seems like an eternity to live through. I'll be 40 years old. Maybe I'll look like a bishop's wife by the end of the term...hmmmmm.
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I can relate to this one too! Once, when I showed up at a unit to speak and was sitting on the stand, a member of the Bishopric came up, looking at me, all confused. He reached me and asked "Now, you can't be Sister Burton are you???" I told him I was, and he said "Huh. I was expecting a white haired lass." Oh yes. I know the story of not feeling like you fit the bill for a title! Believe you me. I thought people would laugh, or raise their hands for a big "NO!" when they called me to my current position. I was downright embarrassed if you want to know the truth!
ReplyDeleteAnd PS- You are so much better at being with people than you realize. You are going to be GREAT at being "the Bishop's Wife."
ReplyDeleteYour description made me think of my mother, I remember she didn't like being called "the Bishop's Wife." She wanted to be herself and she had her sixth baby when Dad was bishop. I think my oldest brother turned 12 while Dad was serving. I copied part of your post and emailed it to my mom to see if she had any words of advice or comfort. She may email you.
ReplyDeleteNow I've been thinking about the wives of bishops in our past wards. The kind you described are in the minority. Instead we've had more bishops who had young kids--sometimes unruly having to be taken out by their mothers during Sacrament Meeting--and wives who are friendly, but not extremely outgoing. Our last ward, Sister Fales was really quiet and often described as shy. There are all kinds. :)
Yes to all the above. And I can't think who you are thinking of in our past experiences of bishops. Most have been just like you.
ReplyDeleteholy smokes...
ReplyDelete