Changes

It's been an interesting weekend for me.

First, I learned that my hours at the farm will be greatly reduced with the first frost. Then, with a real hard freeze, the work will pretty much stop. I knew this was how seasonal work went, but I thought maybe I'd be one of the lucky ones who got to stay busy all winter with farm projects. Doesn't seem likely. So, so sad.

Second, I learned that the farmer himself would be moving on to other projects starting mid-October. There will be a different farmer in charge next year. Mixed feelings. I really like Hunter. He's easy going, super-knowledgeable, and he's got a theory or answer for every question I can think up. I'm glad he's doing what's best for him and his family, but I'll miss him.

Finally, my church calling has changed. In our church, we have a lay clergy. Members from the congregation are asked to take on different responsibilities at different times. I've been a teacher in the women's organization (Relief Society) for 2 years, and now I will be in the presidency of the children's organization (Primary). More mixed feelings. I love our Relief Society group. I love learning from their experience and testimonies every week. Preparing/Delivering lessons was hard, but the payoff was fantastic. Being a Relief Society teacher was a breakthrough for me. For the first time since Rachel left, I really felt connected and happy and confidently myself with these women. Tonight, I'm worried about the change. If I think too hard about it, I start to cry. One thing is for certain: I won't get to enjoy a closeness with the Relief Society sisters at church any more. I do know, however, that I will get to work with some remarkable people in the Primary organization...dedicated, smart, and inspired leaders and teachers. I look forward to learning from them.

Some other thoughts: I wonder how my kids will react to having me in Primary with them. I ponder my own talents and abilities, wondering how I can contribute to the work being done here. I think back to my experience as a Primary teacher and wonder how I can help our current teachers feel support, connection, and spiritual uplift as they serve in the Primary. I'm sad that I won't get to know the new Relief Society Presidency very well.

On the bright side, I am making progress on my "40th Year" goals:

Shorter hours at the farm mean more time to train for an Olympic Distance Triathlon. I may have found someone to take on the whole triathlon with me. Woo hoo! I've found a couple of neat ladies to run with. One to bike with. And the swimming, well, that's not really something you can do with someone else. It's too hard to talk :( I will be taking on the Railsplitter Triathlon on June 16, 2019. It's a Saturday race, to be held at the Lincoln's New Salem State Historic Site in Petersburg, IL, so feel free to come cheer me on ;)

One-on-one time with Bobby and the kids is going well. I've logged 3-3.5 hours so far with each one during the month of September. One thing I've realized is that small chunks of time matter a lot. A half-hour here, 45-minutes there is the only way I will meet this goal with my sanity in place. So, a wonderful side effect of this is coming to appreciate those small chunks of time I have with one kid during a normal working day. The boys were elsewhere one day, so I sat in the front room with Alice during her piano practice. No screens. No book. No interruptions. I just got to be with her and joke around with her and appreciate the person she is. It was liberating, actually, to say "this one-on-one time with Alice is more important than chores X, Y and Z right now. This is meaningful and relevant and a priority in my life." It made me so happy.

As for my bucket list trip, I've been researching Road Scholar destinations, scanning cruise lines, poring over Amtrak travel catalogs, and compiling a list of experiences I've always wanted to have (e.g. hot air balloon ride, SCUBA diving course). Nothing has popped out at me yet. Still deciding if this is something I do alone (not so fun) or with my whole posse (expensive) or with just Bobby (what do we do with the kids?!). Details, details, details.

Still working on the others...but I've still got time.