James is Different

I want to tell you how James practices the piano.

When he notices a mistake, he laughs, shakes it off and immediately tries again.

This is shockingly different from what I remember about Alice and Robert starting out. When Alice started, I was new at this piano practice thing and I presumed she was a responsible and forward-thinking 6-year-old who would practice all alone in the front room while I made dinner. HA! She was 1) terrified of making a mistake and 2) terrified of being alone. Mistakes led to sobbing and wanting to give up. This was not a good strategy for me to use. By the time Robert started 3 years later, I was a little wiser. I knew I needed to sit by him for the first couple of years. But oh, the wailing and gnashing of teeth when he would make a mistake! He couldn't leave it alone. He felt compelled to start from the beginning of the piece and perform it flawlessly or else it wouldn't count as practice. I started researching Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. He's not that way anymore. He's loosened up considerably.

So, I was ready for James' first practices with words of encouragement, sitting on the bench next to him, prepared with all sorts of "growth mindset" statements that celebrate effort and incremental change.

He loooooved having me sit right next to him. That was a win.

And then he made his first mistake. He just laughed it off and tried again. I didn't need to say ANYTHING. This kid is okay with failure and inherently motivated to try again. So far.

I am agog.

He also hasn't developed a very strong ear yet, so he's having to read the notes very closely. I think that's a good thing. Playing by ear is a gift and a curse...just ask Robert. 

I shouldn't be so surprised about this approach to learning. James is the kid who speeds up on his bike when he comes to a hill. The kid who always has something to prove. The kid who wants to do it himself...quietly and sneaky-like so you're all surprised to see him finally do it.

So different.