Disappointment

Last night was a Relief Society Activity entitled "Favorite Things." We've had it a few times before. It's sort of like a white elephant gift exchange. Each person brings one of their "favorite things" wrapped like a gift. We take turns choosing gifts and learning a little more about each other as each person explains why they brought that particular gift to share. There was a $10 spending limit. I brought a pint of homemade freezer jam from my own berries. Others brought movie gift cards, favorite snacks/beverages, home decor, personal care items, etc. 

The first gift I chose turned out to be fancy cheeses. I'm lactose intolerant and cheese makes me miserable. I couldn't use or enjoy this gift at all. Thankfully, the cheese was stolen from me so I got to choose a different gift. The second gift was a bodkin. Yes, it's a very useful and beloved sewing tool to the person who brought it, but it was so far removed from anything I had done or planned to do with my time--completely out of left field--I was dumbstruck for a moment. And then I almost cried with disappointment.

I saw a woman who doesn't drink soda get a gift card for a soda shop.

I saw a woman with severe food allergies get a can of probiotic soda.

I saw a very non-athletic woman get $10 worth of peach-flavored electrolyte powder.

I was grateful I didn't get the eyebrow gel or the lavender spray or the bag of rocks.

I wouldn't have been able to eat the pumpkin pie or whipped cream.

I did not want a gift card to the movies or to Chik-Fil-A.

I had no use for the big earrings or the bag clips and spiral notebooks.

What would I do with a felt picture of a farmhouse?

This whole activity seemed like a waste of time and resources. I felt myself spiraling into a very bad mood.

No one stole the bodkin from me so it was mine to keep. I already had one at home that I hadn't used in 10 years, so I gave it to the woman next to me and had to leave the activity before I really did cry.

The bodkin wasn't the problem.

The activity wasn't the problem. Though, as a RS Presidency member, I will strongly recommend that we retire this activity despite at least two women proclaiming loudly, "This is my FAVORITE activity! I look forward to it every year." Or maybe I just won't attend it in the future. 

Anyway, something else was at work here and I had to figure it out.

Sleep would help. 

I went to bed just before 9pm. As I lay there thinking about the disappointment I felt, I could see how it was just the latest in a recent string of disappointments that I've had to deal with over the last couple of weeks. I wondered if the disappointments were the problem or if something deeper was at work and it was just harder to shake off the disappointments because of it.

No answer yet. Still working on it.