I'm writing this down here while it's still fresh on my mind:
JAMES
Science: participates really well, loves to tinker and think about the next step. Engaged, engaged, engaged. Great personality. Encouraged him to go to science summer camps at the U of I. When asked, they said he struggled with a few kids in the class, but he keeps his distance and is mature about it.
History: Engaged, engaged, engaged. She wishes she had more time to just sit and discuss history with him. Great questions, really thinking about the subject and its implications. Very active participant in class discussions. On written tests, he doesn't always answer in complete sentences, use correct grammar, or write as much detail as she asks for, so that hurts his overall grade.
ELA: agreement with the grammar issue, but she's seen a lot of improvement this trimester. Again, he's completely engaged and insightful every single class period. Active participant in discussions. This teacher is also with him during the lunch period. She says his usual lunch group started talking about things that he didn't want to participate in. He talked to them about it, talked to teachers about it, and ultimately decided to sit somewhere else for lunch. He wasn't the only one from that lunch group to split off. She said he handled it with incredible maturity. No drama.
French: he struggles with French grammar and doesn't always follow the written exam instructions, but he'll always work diligently on making corrections afterwards. He's an active and lively participant in class. When he reads out loud in French, she says it's like he's on stage. Lots of dramatics and artistry. She thinks he would benefit from more one-on-one instruction and taking the time to really understand the grammar.
Math: this is currently the hardest unit of the year. James struggled at first, but now he's getting it. He's incredibly responsible, engaged, and tuned in during class. He uses his time effectively, listens to the teacher's pointers, and incorporates those tips into his work.
Art, PE, Music, Dance, Drama...these teachers weren't part of the Parent-Teacher Conferences.
MATTHEW
Math: he gets the math concepts, he just needs significantly more time to complete the assignments. He's taken 3 standardized math tests this year so far. In the first two, he earned the EXACT same below-grade score: mid-4th grade. That kind of surprised his teachers because he didn't struggle with comprehension. On the most recent one from a few weeks ago, he scored mid-6th grade level. It took an extra hour to complete the exam, but she feels it's a better representation of his understanding.
ELA: standardized tests for his grade max out at mid-8th grade level, and he's been hitting that consistently for reading and comprehension. Handwriting, spelling, grammar, and punctuation are still a struggle, but his teachers have seen some improvement this trimester. His once-a-week tutoring with one of his teachers has been a great help keeping him caught up on his work in every subject. She says he doesn't need much "tutoring" per se, because he understands the tasks and follows the instructions well, but he gets a lot done with her there. When he's mostly caught up, he's less anxious, and he can do more.
Social Studies: this is more of a discussion-based subject compared to the other two. Matthew is consistently one of the most involved students in these discussions. His teacher has found Matthew's depth of empathy and compassion remarkable. Matthew said recently that social studies has become one of his favorite subjects.
Both of his teachers mentioned that Matthew's difficulties with school aren't intentional/lazy or any sort of intellectual issue. He just needs more time to do everything. He'd rather turn in an incomplete project on time than ask for a later deadline, even though he's worked on it consistently and knows exactly what's missing.
I asked about 6th grade next year...which math track would be a better fit, if they knew of any tutoring options, tips for transitioning...
We all agreed that while he was technically capable of the higher level math class, he would probably do better in the regular grade-level math that works at a slightly more relaxed pace.
His current teacher and tutor said she would be willing to continue as his tutor next year. I almost cried on the spot. There are so few things that other people can do to help Matthew directly (and therefore relieve some of the pressure/weight on me/us). This woman can help. It's just an hour of her week keeping a kid on-task, but it's an enormous relief and blessing to ALL of us. I don't think she understands how important she is to me in particular.
As for Matthew's transition to middle school, it'll be kinda rough, like with most kids, but he's got a few things working in his favor. First off, it's the same exact same school and half of his teachers will be the same ones he's already seeing for specials. Second, he already has friends and extracurricular activities he loves. Third, I know the 6th grade core teachers and they're great. Finally, he's got a big brother in middle school who has gone through this and can commiserate. He'll be alright.
Both of his teachers have noticed a change since Matthew started taking the higher dose of ADHD meds. He asks his ELA teacher clarifying questions more often. He seems to get more done in class, too. So, it's not a miracle cure, but it's progress.
I didn't get to speak with any of the "specials" teachers.
I did meet with Matthew's psychiatrist this morning. We talked about his progress and what more can be done. We tweaked his med regimen just a bit, too. I asked about addiction/dependency on these ADHD meds. He likened it to wearing glasses. Is that a dependency? He reminded me that Matthew's brain is still developing. Medication now helps him refocus his attention on positive neural pathways and practice putting aside the anxious ones. The less time he spends on the anxious ones, the weaker they will get. The more time he spends on pursuing other rewarding behaviors, the stronger those will get. Will he ever go off of the medications entirely? No clue. But that's not the goal right now.
Time.
Patience.
More time.
More patience.
I got this.
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