Bring a Friend to Lunch Day

I'm still trying to figure out Robert. Just when I think I understand where he's coming from, he does something completely different.

One thing is for certain: he gets anxious when he's faced with a new task that involves people or routines he doesn't know yet. Anxious in a way completely unknown to Alice. Robert has been turning in daily homework for the last few weeks, but when he wants to enter the poster contest, he brings his entry back home because he doesn't know how or when to hand it to his teacher. Really?! Apparently, entering a contest isn't part of the usual school routine and his teacher doesn't ask for it explicitly, so Robert kinda shoves it back into his bag and figures he won't enter the contest after all.

The painful thing is, I remember doing something almost exactly like that as a kid. Several times. And even once as an adult. I get that sunken-gut feeling again just thinking about it.

So! I know where's he's coming from. Sort of. His motives are still unclear to me. I can't always predict how he will respond in new situations. Like today. It was "Bring a Friend to Lunch Day" at his school. He didn't want to bring anyone, but I kept hassling him and asking him about it and he finally (hesitantly) chose me. His teacher invited us to come a little before lunch so we could see them turn in their homework. Robert smiled every time he saw me in his classroom. I could tell he liked having me there. But when it came time to go to the cafeteria and start eating, he said it felt like any other play date at a friend's house. We moved outside where some classmates sat down by him. I wanted to see him interact with classmates and excitedly show me all the bits of his school life, but he didn't. He wanted a drinking fountain. We found one, read a couple books at the Book Fair, then headed back out to the playground, "That's all I really wanted to do anyway," he said. I asked him if he wanted me to stay and watch him play. "Well, it's just like lunch recess now, so they will watch me. You can go." I left.

I was disappointed in the experience. It wasn't what I had expected. He wasn't who I expected to see. He was his "public" persona, not the Robert I see at home with his siblings. So, I asked him much later if he was glad he had invited me to come to "Bring a Friend to Lunch Day." He said "yes" with a genuine smile, so I believed him. But there was nothing much in the experience itself to show me that. Or maybe there was and I just wasn't seeing it. I have so much to learn about reading this kid.

He's too much like me and nothing like me all at once.

He's him.

Gotta remember that.