Blah

Feeling totally uninspired, unmotivated, and blah today. The last week, really. I have a PILE of projects and chores to do, but I don't really feel like doing any of them. I keep starting new ones, too, thinking this blah comes from boredom with the same old routine *sigh*

All to no avail. It's official: I'm in a funk.

I tried chocolating myself out of it.

I tried exercising myself out of it.

I tried sleeping myself out of it.

I tried "staying up late"-ing myself out of it.

I tried cleaning/organizing myself out of it.

I tried "finish projects"-ing myself out of it

I tried "being outside"-ing myself out of it.

I tried "connecting with friends"-ing myself out of it.

And now I'm trying to blog myself out of it.

It's kinda cool to see I have so many activities that help me feel better. It's kinda disconcerting that none of them seem to be helping this time around :(

What is this funk all about?!

I think it's the farm. I'm a little frustrated that I can't get out and work on the garden when it's convenient for me. I'm dependent on good weather, dryish soil, and a cooperative posse of kids excited to come with me and help (or entertain themselves). Which, come to think of it, will never happen all at once, and will never be convenient for me.

So, maybe I should accept the reality that gardening this year will never be convenient for me.

That does make me feel a little better.

I see the lists of non-gardening things I could/should be doing and think, "I don't want to do that. Or that. Especially not that. What I want to do is the one thing that can't be done right now because of weather or darkness or preschool pickup," so I just wait around for the perfect moment to get out and farm again. I'm getting other stuff done, but it's not making me happy. It's not the satisfaction I crave.

Maybe I should also try to remember what's satisfying about my non-gardening activities. Or at least trick myself into forgetting how much satisfaction this gardening stuff brings ;) I am hopelessly addicted.

What do you know? I'm starting to feel a little less funky. I still don't want to finish the laundry, but here I go. Won't it be satisfying when it's all folded and put away for another week? Yes, yes, very satisfying (*sigh* don't think about the giant sunflowers I want to plant, or the green beans, or those beautiful little artisan tomatoes with the pale stripes that make my heart skip a beat *nnnnnnngh* *straining a smile* laundry...can...be...beautiful...too)

Just look at all that clean laundry!