A few things I'd like to explore further on the blog or in writing:
- The kids had their first overnight sleepover with my sister. I knew they were fine and having a GREAT time. I had no doubt they were in good hands. But they weren't with me. They are always at home with me by 9pm (usually unconscious by then, too). I felt incomplete, kinda, like there was an emotional tension I couldn't resolve. I'm wondering if that's what it feels like to have teenagers out with friends, or kids moving off to college, or kids getting married. You still have that intense connection and love and concern, but you don't get to help/protect/direct them anymore. Maybe it gets easier with time?
- Robert and piano lessons. Not going well. Not good for our relationship. Not good for his relationship with music. Rethinking my philosophy on this whole thing, trying to figure out deep down what I really want him to get from this. And why. And is it really just me wishing I had taken piano lessons more seriously in my youth? Or is it him/me just wanting to back out when something gets hard?
- Preparing a lesson for my church women's group on Sunday. It's always a laborious and emotional process for me. Maybe I take it too seriously? Anyway, this week we are discussing the Sabbath Day. A sticky topic for me. My goal is to foster an honest, spiritual discussion without dredging up all of my own insecurities and childish rants :) Easy, right? *whimper*
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