Don't Want to Forget

A few things happened this weekend that I don't want to forget. 

1. Sunday was a sunny, warmish day for February, so while Bobby and Robert were taking the sacrament to an older couple in our ward, the little boys and I went for a walk. Alex opted to stay home. We started on our usual block walk, not sure if the wind would be kind to us. We warmed up nicely, though, and decided to play the adventure game. The boys took turns choosing which direction to take at each intersection on our walk. If we knew what to expect down one way, they'd choose the other way. Except once. We ended up near their old preschool (Wee Disciples Preschool at Trinity Lutheran Church) and they really wanted to go see it. They started reminiscing. Imagine a 2nd grader and a 4th grader waxing nostalgic about preschool..."That was the happiest I've ever been," said Matthew. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. They pointed out what they remembered on the playground and shared snippets of memories. Matthew remembered how far away one end of the playground seemed from the other and feeling a real sense of discovery and accomplishment when he finally ventured there. Just once. They remembered sitting on carpet squares and laughed about shaving cream activities and reminded each other of the toys they liked to play with. Matthew remembered a time when another preschooler wasn't kind. James remembered finding a recipe he wanted to try out and his teacher making a copy for him. Spaghetti Pie. Then they talked about the "Going On a Lion Hunt" song and what they loved and dreaded about it. Matthew said, "My imagination was so big, I was actually scared when we had to pretend to run back through all the things to get away." James said, "I thought it was dumb that we'd be on a hunt for something and then run away when we finally found it. Why?!"

2. There aren't many things that get Robert excited. He really enjoys math and video games, but last Saturday was the first time in a long time that I literally saw him giddy with excitement. He was programming something in Scratch. He wanted to make it do something specific. He told me about it in extreme detail, but I only understood 1/4 of the terms. I'm not a programmer. I took one 1-credit pass/fail programming class in college and FAILED it because I just could not bring myself to care. I've never encountered a subject quite like that ever since. Anyway, he wanted to do something and tinkered until it did exactly what he wanted. He reveled in it! Then he would tinker some more and discover a more efficient way to do the same thing and his excitement could. not. be. contained. Sheer joy. Jubilation. It happened over and over again. In fact, all Sunday, he was eagerly thinking about how to refine a certain function in his program and devised a new way. He couldn't wait until Monday morning to try it out. It worked, of course, and in the process he realized a more efficient way to do the same thing. Gleeful. 

3. Sunday is usually a huge cooking day for our family. This Sunday was exceptionally active in the kitchen. Alex made Chinese Orange Chicken from scratch, then a batch of snickerdoodles. Bobby made Chicken Parmesan from scratch (a Fast Sunday tradition at our house). Then James decided he wanted to make oatmeal raisin cookies. He accidentally added twice the salt and three times the butter it called for (fractions can be a little tricky) but we baked it in a cake pan and it turned into a very lovely "salted caramel" oatmeal crumble that we ate with whipped coconut cream. Divine. Then Matthew hopped into the kitchen to make Beet Cupcakes (officially called "Red Velvet" but they mostly taste like a dark chocolate lemon cupcake with hints of earthy beets. Beautiful color and texture. A favorite around here.) He wanted to do all the measuring and mixing himself. He did. The counter was a war zone, he had to fish out several bits of egg shell, but the cupcakes turned out quite well. Somehow, I managed to keep on top of the dishes through all of this.

4. Alex has been in a bit of a funk the last couple weeks. I had wanted to talk to Alex about it, feeling like whatever was happening was really important to him. Last night, as we took some Chinese Orange Chicken and Beet Cupcakes to the missionaries, Alex started chatting about things that were stressing him out. I asked a few questions and learned that something big was straining his friend relationships. One friend was accusing another friend of a heinous act. The other denied it. Alex is caught in the middle. I would normally chalk this up to age-appropriate high school friend drama, but the subject of the drama is new to me. It involves sexual behavior. I never, ever, ever had to deal with that as a teen. Alex does. My friends just didn't do that. Apparently, Alex's friends sometimes do. He says there are places in his school where kids regularly go to smoke marijuana and vape. I didn't know about any of those places in my high school days, but they must have existed, right? Even in Utah. Are these things more accepted and pervasive than they used to be, or did I just happen to miss all of that in a bubble of naivete?

5. Yesterday, James fasted again. The first time in a long time. When our children choose to fast, we do lots to encourage and support them through it. When Robert says, "I'm hungry." I (try to) say with love, "Me too." Sometimes I add, "And it's worth it." James decided he would fast two meals, but not drinks. About halfway through, he was feeling hungry and a little grouchy and kinda limp. He laid on the floor of his room after a spat with Matthew. I thanked him for choosing to fast. I told him that fasting was powerful and thanked him for blessing our whole family that way. He said miserably, "I know. That's why I'm doing it." Then I let him know that it wasn't supposed to be easy. He replied, "I know. That's why I'm not giving up." I felt the Spirit so powerfully right then. Thanks, James, for your humble and steady effort. You taught me courage just then.