As we have taken care of Will the last few days, I have had a peek into what life might be when/if Alice gains a sibling. It has been a good experience. Giving me practice with parenting an older child, giving me hope that maybe two kids wouldn't be the end of me...as long as they play well together and love, love, love to be together as much as Will and Alice do :)
Too much to ask?
Another pondering: A friend was talking to me this morning about how good it is that Will gets to stay with family (meaning us) while his parents are in the hospital. I hadn't thought that "family" versus "friend" would make any difference, but my friend insisted there was something inherent in that relationship that made things a bit easier. I would watch any of my friends' kids for similar medical reasons. I wondered if Will actually considered us family, and how that relationship is felt or developed or learned by someone so young. Is it learned? To some degree, it must be. I did not grow up around extended family, so perhaps those of you who did grow up with cousins and aunts and uncles around can enlighten me. Please. What makes that extended family relationship different?
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I think the main thing about family vs. friends is familiarity. There is an inherent familiarity (just look at that root word) with relatives. Their personalities *tend* to be more like ours and it is somehow just a little easier to relax and get along. On the other hand, I think that same kind of relationship can happen with friendships as well. It just takes longer because we usually don't see friends as often or in such personal situations as our families. We are our genuine selves more often with family, and if we can be the same with friends, all the better.
ReplyDeleteI think typically people do spend longer periods of time and special occasions with family so those relationships are more closely associated w/your immediate family but I know growing up you guys were as good if not better than family for me! We would've been sisters if my parents had met an unfortunate early demise! (thank goodness that didn't happen not that I didn't want to live w/you guys but you know, I like my parents!). When I was around 16 and I finally suggested they change their will to say Holly and I go to live with one of my older sisters!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rachel. It is about familiarity of experiences because of shared grandparents and aunts and uncles, recipes, and traditions. I mean I can get together with my cousins who I only see once a year if I'm lucky and say something like, "Hey did anyone else ever play with grandpas old toupees." And we can laugh and joke four hours about things that we didn't necessarily experience together but were similar because of our shared genealogy. You can find good friends but family you are stuck with :) I personally think Will and Alice are lucky to have each other. I'm not sure they can tell the difference now but they will when they are a teenager or in their twenties :)
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