Performance Review

Bobby called me from work yesterday (an abnormal occurrence) to let me know that he had just finished his annual performance review at work. Apparently, he's doing good work and his supervisors appreciate it. He was almost giddy. Well, as giddy as Bobby can get. A few hours later when I picked him up from work, his brow was furrowed and he was more reserved. I asked him what happened. He said he now feels the weight of their expectations on him. He feels like he should do much more.

A sobering thought indeed.

I was reminded of the day Bobby walked home from work (5 miles!) to tell me he was getting laid off by Motorola. Alice was only 3 months old. I had never seen that expression on his face before. Never heard that tone of voice. I saw the weight of the burden on his shoulders. He wouldn't eat or sleep or even leave the computer until he had a spreadsheet listing over a hundred potential jobs available right then. Within 24 hours of the news, he had sent out dozens of job applications all over the country. This was his life at risk. His family. He had not only lost a job, but a family's livelihood. HIS family's livelihood. MY family's livelihood.

Sobering thoughts. I am grateful that Bobby carries this burden for our family. I have the utmost respect for those who carry this burden for their own families. It is not an easy load.