The Nitty Gritty

We're just starting to settle in with our new baby James. It's been a week. I'm hurting a little less and growing accustomed to the interrupted sleep a little more and that's a pretty good place to be right now.

His full name is James Thomas Evans. He weighed in at 8lbs 8oz (more than a little shy of the 9lb estimate given by the midwife earlier that day), and the nurse measured him at a lengthy 21 inches, though he seemed to have lost 2 inches by the time we saw the doctor on day 3. Hmmmm.

Now to the nitty gritty. Late Tuesday night, Robert woke up crying in a puddle of his own urine. Bobby got up to take care of him and I rolled over to go back to sleep. Then it happened. The unmistakeable "pop" and "twang" sensation that is strangely audible in the middle of the night: my water breaking. I didn't move. I pretended I was mistaken. There was no gush, so maybe it was just a strange dream. Right? Right?! As much as I wanted this baby born, I was not ready for him right now. Not tonight. One more night of sleep, please? Nope. I looked at the clock: 11:22 PM. Contractions started soon afterwards and I knew the day had come. I let Bobby fall asleep again after dealing with Robert...the contractions weren't painful and they were 10 minutes apart, so why worry the man with the news just yet? I was a trembling heap. Not cold, but shivering uncontrollably. This was SO different from the two times before. Finally, I had three contractions that were 8 minutes apart and I told Bobby. He got to work right away dressing and assembling our hospital gear. We called our neighbor to stay with the kids, called the Labor and Delivery floor to tell them we were on our way, and got on the road.

I felt a little silly going to the hospital so early in the process, but knew it was our best shot at getting the recommended dose of IV antibiotics for the Group B strep. Those irrepressible shakes were a little unnerving, too. We arrived soon after midnight. I had dilated to 3 cm. Not much, but noticeably painful now. There was meconium in the amniotic fluid. That was a first for me, too. It meant the baby was under some stress and there would have to be a team of NICU nurses at the delivery to clear out his airways and look for signs of meconium aspiration syndrome as soon as he was born. I started to worry.

We filled out paperwork, got hooked up to the fetal monitor and such, they took my vitals, and the IV went in about 1:30 AM. The contractions got stronger. The shakes got worse. At the peak of the contractions, I felt like throwing up. This was nothing like before. I was terrified. I could ride through the pain with stoic reserve, but inside my mind I was a wreck of fear and tension. This was not going well. They asked me about pain control measures. I considered my options again. I remembered Robert's birth and wondered if even a botched epidural could feel any worse than the searing pain and traumatic fear in my near future. The nurse said, "Honey, I gave birth to my first two naturally and had an epidural with the third. There's no gold star, and you get to take home a baby no matter what."

No gold star? You got that straight.

Okay. Do it.

Turns out, this anesthesiologist knew what she was doing and my spinal cord was cooperative. No botch. Sweet, warm, numbness. The shivers and nausea continued with each contraction, but the pain and fear disappeared. It was a completely different experience. I was more comfortable at that moment than I had been in the last 6 weeks. No joke. It felt criminal. I almost cried tears of joy. There were a couple things I didn't like about the epidural experience, though:

1) the numbness started just below my diaphragm. It was a little odd breathing without feeling my abdominal muscles move. It felt like I might stop breathing any minute.

2) everything from my diaphragm down was warm lead. I couldn't move it. I couldn't feel it. I needed help to sit up, even an hour after the epidural was removed. People moved my legs for me and it was surreal.

But (and this is a BIG but), I was comfortable. Completely comfortable. Would I do it again? Yes.

When James was born, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and his belly. He cried spontaneously just as the midwife handed him to the NICU nurses for the aspiration treatment. I didn't get to hold James at first, partially because of the meconium thing and partially because of the epidural numbness thing. I just didn't feel confident I could hold him safely when I couldn't even sit up straight on my own. The midwives worked on a few stitches and Bobby held our crying baby. I lay on the bed feeling helpless and displaced until I finally got to hold James. Then I was okay.

So, my water broke at 11:22 PM and James was born at 4:00 AM. That's a 4.5-hour delivery. Only 2.5 hours of antibiotics (they recommend 4), but it was enough to calm my fears and the on-call pediatrician trusted us to complete the "48-hour observation" period at home.

Recovery since then has been slow, but progressive. Pain-free nursing is still a work in progress. I'm forcing myself to rest more this time around. And I finally learned that "rest" includes lying on the couch with my eyes closed, even if I have no hope of actually falling asleep. Even if it's only for ten minutes. It counts, and I'm refreshed, and I'm not stressed out about losing hours of "real" sleep anymore.

James has made it pretty easy on us so far. His internal clock has been set to 2-3 hours from day one. He's been eating aggressively, efficiently, and promptly falling asleep again. My newborn experience with Alice and Robert required hours of soothing and holding between short, irregular periods of feeding and fussiness. I would like to think that this difference in James has something to do with me cutting out dairy foods a month ago, but Alice and Robert were never this regular even on a zero-dairy diet. I think this kid is just plain different. That's okay with me :)

Furrowed brow. One of James' favorite looks.

My mom and Buddy picking strawberries. A bumper fall crop!

Asleep James, looking a little yellow/orange from the residual jaundice

How much more do you want to know? My milk came in after 2 days (successive pregnancies speed up the process) and James regained his birth weight in 5 days (the average is 10 days). We checked in at the breastfeeding clinic when he was 2 days old and 5 days old. He took in 1.5-2 oz of milk at both feedings, which is twice the usual rate for an infant that age. We may have another chunker on our hands, or he may just be taking advantage of the early milk supply.

I did detect a new roll on his thighs this morning. Mwah ha ha haaaaaa. Grow big and fat, dear baby James. You'll need every advantage in the wrestling ring with Robert.