That feeling again

This week with the kids, I caught myself thinking,"Wait a minute, someone's missing."

And no one was missing.

This happened to me before when Robert was 3 months and 9 days old.

Matthew is 3 months and 20 days old today.

Coincidence? I have no recollection of this happening at any point in James' infancy, so maybe the timing is just coincidence.

Either way, it is a momentous feeling. A milestone. For the first time in months, I've reached a point where my energy supply has finally outlasted the demand on my energy. Instead of running from one fire to the next, there are gaps here and there where there's no one to worry about. Not even me. I finally have the wherewithal to say, "Huh, I guess I could take on something else." Dare I start a project?!

Let's not get carried away, here.

I believe the following recent developments have given me this new breathing room:

• Matthew generally sleeps through the night. His needs are simple and he's generally content with my instinctive/habitual responses to those needs. I therefore get enough rest and I feel competent as his mother, respectively.
• James suddenly speaks in full sentences with pronunciations that all of us can (mostly) understand. He tells jokes. He expresses needs/frustrations better. It's a miracle!
• Robert and James can play almost ten minutes together without fighting. It's interesting to see them experiment with the relationship: trying new things, testing boundaries. It's not always pretty. The biggest change, however, is seeing how they miss each other and think about each other when they are apart. 

I think it's getting easier...new normal...or something. Even with a surge of fever-barfing-diarrhea sickness making the rounds this week, I'm feeling pretty good.