James

This grin can mean so many different things...often mischievous or pestiferous.

This smile can mean only one thing: a delightful treat or privilege has been promised to him.

James, James, James. You're pushing ALL the boundaries this week. Even running away in public to avoid accepting a consequence for a poor decision. Oh, James. That never makes things better for any of us. Let's try to think of one golden choice...one moment...one piece of you heading in the right direction from the last few days so I don't linger too long on all the recent frustrations. Hmmmm.

Hmmmmmm.

SO many frustrations to sort through...

I guess I haven't paid you much mind...I can't think of something positive. Maybe that's part of the problem. I've been a little preoccupied with friends having babies and moving, wave #2 of remodeling work on the kitchen, building a few more housework chores into the kids' routine, and monitoring some of Robert's recent behavior. That doesn't leave much energy for you.

Sorry, little dude.

In a perfect world, we would understand each other so much better. Maybe you wouldn't have to act out for attention. Maybe I'd read to you more and build train tracks with you all over the front room floor. Maybe I'd have more focus to listen to your long, intricate imaginary scenarios involving pirates and bombs and space. I try to do those things, but find my attention pulled in so many directions at once. So much of my life is spent providing the basics of life (food, clothes, clean diapers, rest) to Matthew and expounding on the complexities of life (manners, kind speaking tones, modesty, morality, responsibility) to Alice and Robert. You're not as good at words as the older ones, so you've turned to screaming like the younger one.

*sigh*

Something's gotta change for us, James-y. Soon. I'll figure something out. Maybe I'll start noticing you more...notice your work...ask for your help...tell you how happy I am to have you in our family...show you pictures from your infancy...we need to reconnect somehow.

I think you've forgotten how important you are. Or maybe I have. We can fix that.