To push or not to push?

I've finally come to realize that I will not see/learn/experience even 10% of what I want to from Sola Gratia Farm by working in the wee hours three times a week.

It's been a bit of a let down.

I'm therefore working vigorous exercise back into my summer schedule (that was the first thing to go in order to maximize Sola Gratia time). One afternoon and one evening a week. It takes away some time from the kids and Bobby, respectively, but I think it's worth it in this case.

I am also thinking about my time when school starts again. If I put Matthew into 5-day preschool, I could work 4-5 hours a day at Sola Gratia for the rest of the season (20-25 hours/week). The hourly wage would more than cover the cost of the additional 2 days per week.

BUT...

...if I cool my jets and wait a couple years, then Matthew will go into kindergarten and I can spend more time at Sola Gratia without sacrificing one-on-one time with Matthew. I will have the rest of my life to be alone during the school day (*mixed feelings*). Why rush Matthew out?


Some reasons to want to rush him out (5-day preschool):

--Don't know how long Hunter and John will continue to work there. I like them and their style. Don't know who or what will come after them. Hunter's last 3 farm positions lasted about 3 years each. This is Hunter's 4th season with Sola Gratia.

--The only thing keeping me from rushing the other kids out was a baby at home. Maybe. Most of the time, I think.

--What's it like with only one kid at home? I can't remember. And I've certainly never had a 3.5-year old around all by him/herself.


Some reasons to stay with 3-day preschool:

--One-on-one time with Matthew. That's my favorite kind of time with my kids.

--I really like Matthew. He's not terribly needy. Then again, he's always had siblings around to play with.

--I'll still have 3 mornings a week to do stuff on my own (12-15 hours/week at Sola Gratia).

--Maybe I'll enroll him in some sort of activity he enjoys...swimming lessons? gymnastics? morning soccer? I dunno. We'll have the flexibility to do that if it's just the two of us.

--Having a preschooler gives me an excuse to set up play dates and meet other moms. Who is his age in the ward? Hmmmmm. We could have some fun times.

--Working extra in the "shoulder" seasons won't change the fact that I won't be able to work full/part time in the summer until I'm willing to leave my kids home alone a lot of the summer. Not cool. Maybe in 10 years, I could work 6-11am 3 times a week. 10 years?! That seems forever away. But I know it's still small potatoes in the long run.

I feel pretty good about waiting, then. It's only a couple years. There's a lot of change coming in the next couple years...I don't want to be distracted.